Her Secret Fantasy (20 page)

“You fool, if he had wanted you dead, you’d
be
dead. You should be thankful that he let you live.”

“The chap in question, ma’am.” The constable turned to Lily. “I take it he is your husband?”

“No!” The question threw her. “He is my—friend.”

The coachman scoffed. “Your ‘friend,’ eh? Well, my fine ladybird, you better start looking for a new
friend,
because your fancy man’s going to Newgate where he belongs.”

“I beg your pardon! Constable, I am a decent woman. My chaperone is sitting over there!” She pointed to Mrs. Clearwell and then gave the constable an imploring look. “The major offered to buy the horse from him, but for sheer obstinacy this man refused to take payment!”

“Ha!” the coachman cried triumphantly. “So, you admit the blackguard walked off with my property! Stealing is stealing.”

“Th-that’s not what I meant—” Lily stammered, fearing she had just said exactly the wrong thing.

The constable glanced shrewdly from her to the coachman. “You’ll be pressing charges, then, sir?”

“You’re damned right I will.”

Lily turned to him in fury, but seeing the two men start to walk away to view the prisoner, she somehow managed to keep a civil tongue in her head. “Wait.”

They both looked at her in question.

She was not going to let them do this to Derek, jail him—hang him? It was madness! This was completely unfair. He was no horse thief, but even if a jury cleared him of the trumped-up charges, at the very least, the arrest would be a blot on his military record that could permanently damage his career.

She did not want Derek to go back to India, but she would not allow this petty ogre to deprive him of the choice.

“What do you want?” the coachman grunted, waiting for her to speak.

“Before you take this matter any further,” she replied, “may I have a private word with you, Mr.—?”

“Jones,” he growled. “Fine, if you’ll be quick about it.”

The constable nodded as the two of them stepped aside to confer.

Coachman Jones was an awfully large man—and he smelled bad, to boot—but Lily looked him straight in the eyes. “What is it going to take to make you drop this foolishness?”

“Foolishness? I’m within my rights! Stealing is stealing, like I said!”

“Be reasonable! You know your treatment of that horse was wrong. You’re just doing this for spite, because he thrashed you in front of this crowd.”

“I deserve compensation for my property—and my pains!—or I’m pressing charges.”

The man was loathsome, but she was encouraged by his admission. “Good, then! Compensation you shall have! I will pay you right now and we can put this whole unpleasant business behind us. What’s the horse worth?” she persisted. “A few sovereigns at most, considering it’s already half dead. Here!” She thrust her hand into her reticule and took out what little pin money she had left.

He looked at the few silver coins in her outstretched palm and slowly began laughing. “Is that all your fine major’s freedom is worth to you, poppet?”

Lily looked at him in shock as he folded his bulky arms across his chest.

Then she glanced at her money again. “It’s all I have.”

His eyes narrowed. “What about them earrings you got on?”

CHAPTER

         
ELEVEN
         

T
he charges had been dropped.

Lily was still numb by the time the barouche turned into Mrs. Clearwell’s street a short while later. She could not believe she had given away her great-great-grandmother’s earrings to save Derek Knight.

But at least it had worked.

The coachman had walked away satisfied and Derek had been freed, unaware of what she had done. She didn’t mind if he never found out. Watching him from a distance as he led the injured horse away, she had been filled with a deeper satisfaction than she had ever experienced before, knowing that she had helped him.

He was worth it.

That was the scariest part…how much she was starting to care about him.

Still, giving up her earrings had left her with one less asset to her name, one more reason why she’d have to marry Edward.

At least she had taken measures to protect her reputation. She had made her bargain with the coachman on the one condition that he keep quiet about receiving her diamonds in exchange for dropping the charges against Derek. Greed made him more than willing to be discreet; indeed, he had not even bothered asking her name, but that suited Lily quite well.

She did not need news of her sacrifice getting back to Edward, and as for Derek, if he heard nothing about her reckless gift, it would spare his pride…and keep him from realizing how foolishly infatuated with him she was becoming.

Still, she did not regret what she had done, for it was impossible to imagine his fierce, free spirit locked up in some horrid cage in the bowels of Newgate.

Across from her, Mrs. Clearwell was still looking at Lily as if she had sprouted two heads. “When we get home, my dear, I believe I shall brew a pot of tea and you and I are going to have a little talk.”

Oh, dear.
“Yes, ma’am,” she mumbled, abashed by the rare disapproval in her godmother’s voice—not that she blamed her after that spectacle.

But unfortunately, as the barouche glided to a halt in front of her chaperone’s cozy house, Lily saw that her troubles were not over yet.

Edward was already there. Waiting for her.

Oh, God!
She had been out with Derek all day—and then that debacle at the intersection! Was she found out already? But how?

What was she going to say?

All she knew was that the sight of his big, black carriage parked outside Mrs. Clearwell’s little house made her stomach plunge with a sickening drop.

Panic flooded her veins at the thought of her burly suitor’s certain jealous wrath. She cast her sponsor a terrified look; Mrs. Clearwell returned it with a firm, bolstering nod. Her look checked Lily’s panic, but nevertheless, a sense of doom came over her—and guilt.

Familiar guilt. It was back. Edward was going to jilt her now, she was sure of it—and what would she tell Mother then? She wasn’t sure who she was more afraid of in that moment: towering Edward or the dagger-eyed Lady Clarissa.

But it was too late now. No, damn the man, she had known from the second she saw him that Derek Knight was going to wreck her life. Oh, how had she ever dreamed she could have succeeded in this miserable mission when she had proved her shameful inability to control herself years ago?

When Gerald came to get the carriage door for them and put the metal step down, Lily closed her eyes briefly, envisioning the ton’s laughter when they heard how the “haughty” Balfour girl had been hilariously dumped by an encroaching toadstool like Edward Lundy.

That’s what you get for grasping after fortune,
they would say. And how Bess Kingsley would squeal with glee to hear the news of her misfortune!

But so be it.

Climbing down slowly from the carriage, Lily walked, heart pounding, toward the house. There was nothing she could do now but brace herself and resolve to meet her fate with dignity.

The butler had shown Edward into the dainty drawing room, where his large bulk dwarfed the satin sofa.

Lily forced a brave smile as she went in to greet him. He rose, hat in hand. From the corner of her eye, she glimpsed her pale reflection in the mantel-glass, the artificial smile frozen in place.

She was shocked by how much she looked like her mother.

And by the glaring absence of her earrings.

Her naked earlobes peeked out for all to see.

I’m doomed,
she thought.

Edward bowed to her. “Miss Balfour.”

“Mr. Lundy.” She started to offer her hand, then realized that, stupidly, she was still holding onto the ladies’ fashion magazines.

The ones with the bridal gowns.

Instead, she limited herself to a polite nod. “How are you today?” she inquired with probing caution as she sat down across from him with a deliberate show of grace.

Mrs. Clearwell lingered in the doorway of the drawing room, eyeing them both with a questioning look that asked if Lily wished her to stay to lend moral support.

Normally, respectable courting couples could be permitted fifteen minutes or so alone. Lily sent her a discreet nod, signaling to her to go. She did not want her dear godmother to witness her humiliation.

Besides, if Edward’s anger climbed to frightening heights, then Mrs. Clearwell would not be far away with her footmen and butler to throw him out.

“I’ll just, er, go and make the tea,” Mrs. Clearwell said hesitantly. With a worried smile, she withdrew. But she left the door open.

As they labored through their usual, meaningless, stilted pleasantries, Lily discerned the same dark agitation in Edward that she had sensed the night of the masked ball, though he seemed to be trying to hide it. Something was definitely bothering him, but when he inquired about their outing, she gave only the sketchiest answer, unsure of how much he knew. No need to rush her doom.

Then Edward cleared his throat. “Miss Balfour, I have a particular question to ask you today. That’s why I’m here.”

“Yes?” she replied in attentive gravity, folding her hands on her lap. Her heart pounded faster.

Edward rubbed his mouth. “I noticed at the concert last night that you disappeared for a while with Derek Knight.”

The air vanished from her lungs. He stared at her.

Hanging onto her wits for dear life, she managed a poised nod. “He was afraid he had given offense when the conversation turned to the subject of my father’s death in India. The major approached me to apologize.”
Which is more than I can say for you,
she thought.

“I see,” Edward rumbled.

“You were attending Lord Fallow. So I joined the major on a walk down to view the prospect of the river.”

While he considered this, a most unexpected reaction began to take shape inside Lily.

Anger.

Perhaps the terror she had felt walking in here had pushed her too far, or maybe the thought of the fearless Derek Knight inspired her courage and made her own fear start to fade. But it was more than that, for the guilt that had squeezed her nigh constantly for years like a too-tightly laced corset began dissolving as she sat there, faced with her suitor’s suspicious and judgmental stare.

For the first time in ages, Lily felt like a woman prepared to fight to defend her own honor.

“What are you implying, Edward?” she asked in an icicle tone. “Do you mean to tell me you are jealous?”

“No,” he said with a dismissive scoff, startling her anew. “It’s not that at all. I know you’re too sensible to let a penniless coxcomb like him turn your head.”

His answer routed her. She stared at him. If he was not jealous, then why did he look so disgruntled? No longer sure of the purpose behind his line of questioning, Lily waited, motionless—on guard and a bit bewildered.

“I want to know if he asked you any questions about me.”

Lily tilted her head as the conversation pivoted in this mysterious new direction.

“My business, my holdings,” Edward said urgently. “My work with the committee. Anything like that. I need to know whatever you might’ve told him about me.”

Why?
she wondered at once, but the perfectly genteel young lady that she had always portrayed herself to be with Edward would never have asked such an impertinent question.

Half reeling with confusion, Lily opted for her usual answer to Edward—unquestioned obedience. Within reason.

No wonder he wanted to marry her.

“Major Knight did not ask me anything like that,” she answered quietly. There was no way in Hades she was telling him that Derek had also inquired why Edward had not proposed to her yet.

“Think, Lily. Are you sure?”

She gave him a cool nod. “The only thing he asked about you was if I thought you had enjoyed the concert.”

Edward studied her. “Really?”

“Yes, I’m quite certain.” She paused, and then crept out on a limb. “Why?”

“Because I don’t trust him, that’s why,” Edward growled. He rose and paced over toward the fireplace.

Lily looked at him in wonder. “But—Edward, I thought he was your friend.”

“Maybe he is and maybe he ain’t. That remains to be seen,” he said gruffly and rested his hand on the mantel for a moment, brooding. “You must be on your guard with him, Miss Balfour.”

This conversation was becoming entirely strange! “You know me, I am on my guard with everyone. But,” she continued with the greatest delicacy, “may I ask why you advise me thus?”

“I don’t want him using you to try to get to me.” He turned around with a matter-of-fact expression as Lily felt her heart lurch.

Derek…using her?

She thought she might be sick. But, no! That made no sense, she assured herself, trying not to think about the time before when she was duped, or the diamond earrings she had parted with so easily for his sake.

“Get to you?” she echoed his words in a strangled tone. “Whatever do you mean?”

Something strange and dark and covert flickered behind Edward’s eyes as he turned away with a vague, impatient wave of his hand. “Ah, you know these younger sons of the aristocracy. They’re sharpers and swindlers, the lot of ’em. All arrogance and no blunt! Especially his kind, bloody Regulars,” he muttered. “You should see the way they strut around Calcutta, thinking they’re better than everyone else. The only reason he’s been so chummy with me is probably because he thinks I’ll be good for an advance if he gets in over his head at the gaming tables.”

No, but that’s impossible,
Lily wanted to tell him.

Having just been inside the opulent home of his brother-in-law, the marquess, and having seen from a distance his cousin the duke’s mansion on Green Park, Lily knew that Edward’s suspicion against Derek on this point was pure foolishness.

She pushed away another thought of her earrings as she realized in sickening hindsight that maybe she needn’t have parted with them at all. His rich family could have easily bailed him out of Newgate and hired the best legal experts for his defense.

But the arrest would have gone on his record and tarnished his brilliant military career, she reminded herself with a pang. At least she had saved him from that.

As for Edward’s claims, she quickly concluded that this was no more than the self-made man’s usual acute distrust of people he still perceived as his “betters.” It had long puzzled her how Edward alternated between slavishly seeking the approval of the highborn folk he now brushed shoulders with in Society and hating them. Both impulses seemed to have come together in his dealings with the major.

Lily dared not tell Edward about the earrings or any other aspect of the…friendship?…that she had been developing with Derek Knight independently of him. As it was, Edward’s angry intensity concerning the major could prove dangerous all around.

Seeking with great care to defuse Edward’s fears, Lily gave him a winning smile. “Edward, I’m sure that if the major runs into trouble at the tables, he would not dream of bothering you, but would turn to his family for an advance. You always think that everyone is out to get you! Come, I am sure he genuinely likes you. How could he not? You were both soldiers, both served in India—”

“Oh, he’s likable enough on the face of it, I suppose,” Edward grumbled, calming down a bit. “But I’m keeping my eye on that blackguard, and I suggest you do the same.”