Her Secret (26 page)

“Where are you going?” Devlin asked. “Outside
in this?”

I handed him a heavy jacket that had been
Brennan’s. It was more of a duster, but it was very good at
repelling water. “I need to walk the dogs. I’d like you to come
with me.”

“Then I’m there,” he said jovially. Then he
saw my face wasn’t smiling. “What is it?”

“I’ll need to plow when we get back,” I said,
making a face. “I’ll be a few hours probably.”

“Danial hired someone to do that, didn’t
he?”

“He’ll be busy until late morning, easy. I’m
not comfortable being snowbound with the current vampire situation,
even with your delicious self to keep me company. Are you?”

“If it must be done, I will do it for you,”
he said with a tone of authority.

“Have you ever driven a tractor on ice?” I
asked skeptically. “Can you operate a front end loader?”

He looked dubious, then shrugged. “How hard
can it be?”

I laughed before I could stop myself. “If you
can shovel the deck off, I can handle the plowing. But I’ll need
you to move the bike over a little, so I can get the tractor out.
You’re parked in front of it.”

He nodded, then took my hand. “Sure. But let
us walk first, together.”

I never liked walking in snowstorms,
especially when the snow was deep. But with Devlin at my side, I
wasn’t as worried as usual. It helped we didn’t go far. Devlin
seemed completely at ease though, throwing snowballs for the dogs
to chase. We watched the snow falling, catching the lights of the
barn to shine like fire in the air. We held hands for a while as we
walked, my mittened hand in his ungloved one.

As I got the mail, I looked over the road. It
hadn’t been touched, the deep layer of snow pristine. The plows
were waiting for the morning, with school not in session over
Christmas.

“So much for your plan,” he said, leading me
back to the house. “Even if you plow the drive, we’re still snowed
in.”

“If I don’t do it, I’m going to worry,” I
explained, dressing in heavy insulated gear. “I know it doesn’t
make sense—”

“But it’s your routine,” Devlin finished,
nodding as he followed me downstairs. “I understand.” He rotated
the end of his motorcycle, and walked it out of the way, so the
tractor had a clear path. “Plow away.”

The tractor worked well, as it always did. I
had a little trouble with traction, but not much. The snow was
light, not wet and heavy, and my tractor was a John Deere 5310,
large enough to push a car in drive in reverse with no problem. I
did have to move some drifts, but there wasn’t much problem. The
tractor went right through them.

I was self-conscious as I plowed, hoping I
looked both smooth and skilled, and that I didn’t dig up the
driveway if Dev was watching. The angle of the bucket was very
important. Too much and the earth got dug up. Too little, and a few
inches of snow was left covering the driveway that would turn to
ice.

When I finally finished scraping the drive, I
turned smoothly and headed back into the house. As I shut down the
tractor, Devlin came down the stairs. When I stood up to step off
the tractor, he lifted me down.

“Thanks,” I said. “Come on, I want to get out
of these wet clothes.”

After hanging my outer clothes next to the
wood stove beside his, I went into my bedroom. To my surprise,
candles were lit and the Jacuzzi was full and running. I turned to
Devlin behind me to see he was already taking off his clothes.

“You read my mind,” I said gratefully,
slipping off the rest of my clothes.

As I settled down into the heavenly warm
water, I watched Devlin step in and sit down. How many nights had I
sat here and imagined this? Now he was here, and we were
alone...

An unwelcome conscience spoiled my lustful
thoughts, as it reminded stridently that this was Theo’s domain.
Grimacing, I tried to drive it away.

Devlin unexpectedly moved to get out.

“No, stay,” I said firmly, stopping him. “You
saved my life three times now. I want you here. Don’t take my being
a little uncomfortable as a rejection.”

He nodded, and sank back down into the
tub.

“Thank you for doing this,” I added. “I was
cold.”

“You looked cold out there.”

“It’s okay. I’m warm now.”

“You’ll be warmer still very soon,” he said
languidly, handing me a glass of wine.

I took it. He clinked my glass with his own.
“To the rest of this week with you,” he said. “And what comes
after.”

“What comes after?” I asked, sipping my
wine.

“Whatever we make of it,” he answered
devilishly, taking a sip of his wine. He put his wine to the side
and relaxed back against the jets. I did the same, some of the
tightness in my muscles leaving me.

We stayed in there for quite a while, just
luxuriating in the warm water, not talking. After a half hour, he
beckoned to me. As I settled into his lap, I felt him stiff beneath
me. I turned and gave him a look of surprise. Devlin grinned at me,
then stood up and took my hand. I opened the drain, then followed
him. He led me to my bed, and pushed me down on it, covering my
body with his.

I stopped him. “I have to eat something
first, Dev. I’m starving.”

“That’s good, Sar,” he said, relieved. “I was
worried that you hadn’t been hungry all day.”

I got up and handed him his jeans.

“I don’t have to dress,” he said wickedly.
“Unless my nakedness distracts you as much as it once did.”

I held them out to him. “Attacks, Devlin.
Possible attacks.”

He put them on as I put on a robe. We walked
to the kitchen, hand in hand.

“The desire for food left me with all my
other ones,” I said seriously, rummaging around in my cupboards.
“But I feel it again, thanks to you.” I gave him a smile and
started heating up some water for pasta. “Want to watch
something?”

He gave me a look. “Not likely.”

I handed him the remote. “No action movies, I
promise. You can pick.”

As he sat down to peruse the channels, I went
through the mail. Oddly, there was a package for Theo.

I looked at the padded envelope curiously.
Who would be sending him a package? This wasn’t big enough for a
gun, a box of ammo, or even a book. I shrugged, put it aside for
him, and looked through the rest. There was a bill, some junk mail,
and a few pleas from animal shelters asking for money. Tossing the
junk mail, I wrote a quick check for the bill, and paper clipped it
to January as a reminder. If we didn’t make it back, there was no
use paying it. Taking a deep breath, I sorted through the pleas.
Though I ended up pitching most, several I put aside to send a few
dollars to. Throwing the pasta into the now boiling water, I went
over and sat by Devlin.

“Decide on anything?”

Devlin looked at me, then leaned closer.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Your eyes are greener than they were.
You’re upset.”

“I just was reading some pleas for animal
related causes,” I replied. “It makes me sad, to hear about them
eating dogs in Korea, or hurting greyhounds in order to make money
from racing them.”

“Then why do you read these things? Why
purposely feel bad?”

“Because someone has to,” I said staunchly.
“Someone has to care, in order for the world to change. Someone has
to let themselves be moved enough to say that doing this is wrong
and that they aren’t going to act as if everything is okay. Most
days I try to be that someone.”

Devlin hugged me close. “I know,” he said
lovingly. “You’re a white knight on a steed, Love.”

Embarrassed, I drew back. “I have old
episodes of ‘Supernatural’, if you’re interested.”

“I know Danial followed that,” Devlin said.
“But I’m more of a classics man. Come, let’s check TCM.”

We watched only a little of some black and
white movie before my timer sounded. Then I sank happily into pasta
joy, eating an entire plateful. Logy with satisfaction, I settled
back onto the couch with Dev. Within minutes, I was asleep in his
arms.

I woke up to the ringing of the phone. “Want
me to get it?” Dev offered.

I shot him a look, got to my feet, and
answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Sar?” Danial said anxiously. “How are you
weathering the storm?”

“Very well,” I said, forcing my tone to be
solemn and not gleefully reckless. “I finished plowing and had
dinner.”

“You sound like your old self,” he said
happily.

“I felt a lot better today.”

“I’m glad. I’ve been worried about you.”

“I’m better,” I replied, my eyes on Devlin
who was watching me and grinning. “Really, I feel like my old self.
I think the worst is past. It’s good you called; I’m heading to bed
soon.”

“Sar, it’s only eight o’clock,” Danial said
curiously.

“Tell him you have company,” Devlin whispered
with a leer. “And you’re being considerate of your guest’s needs,
going to bed early.”

“What was that?” Danial said sharply. “I
heard someone—”

“The TV,” I said quickly, shooting Devlin a
look to kill. “Really, don’t worry about me. As for bed, I’ll
probably need to get up early to plow again, and I need my
sleep.”

“Has Theo called you?”

“No,” I said coolly. “If he calls you, please
tell him I’m fine. I’d rather not talk to him.”

“All right,” Danial said neutrally. “I’m very
glad you are feeling better. Get some sleep.”

“I love you,” I said emotionally.

“I love you,” he said tenderly.
“Goodnight.”

As I hung up, Devlin said, “You’ve never
stopped loving him, have you?”

“No,” I admitted, coming to sit beside him.
“There were times I wished I didn’t, but I never stopped, no.”

“That is how real love goes,” he said. “Do
you really want to go to bed now?”

I made a face. “What I want is to avoid Theo.
It’s stupid really. He’s not going to call me anyway, now he knows
I know everything.”

“Not that I’m on his side,” Devlin said
slowly. “But perhaps you don’t know everything.”

My eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

“You should be prepared for more to this
story. I’ve known Theo through his actions for the better part of
ten years, ever since he joined up with Danial. This behavior is
unlike him.”

“I agree,” I retorted angrily. “But maybe you
were as wrong about him as I was.”

“Perhaps. In any case, I agree: you should
not answer if he calls. Don’t speak to him until you’re face to
face.”

I’d been planning the same thing, but I
didn’t like being told to do it by someone else. “Then let’s go to
bed.”

The phone abruptly rang, shattering the
moment. I glared over at it, bit my lip, and remained where I was.
After four rings, the answering machine picked up.

“Sar, how’re you feeling?” Theo said
hesitantly on the machine’s speakerphone. “Are you there?”

“I’m here, ass,” I said aloud, both angry and
upset. “Where else would I be?”

“I talked to Danial,” Theo went on. “He said
you were better, but nothing else.” There was a pause. “I just
wanted to let you know I was okay. I’ll see you at the Gathering on
Saturday night.”

“Good for you, Prick!” I shouted. “Don’t put
yourself out on my account!”

“I love you, and I’m sorry we...I’m sorry
that I acted...I just wanted—” Click.

“Theo!” I shouted, bolting to the phone. I
quickly picked up the receiver, but there was only a dial tone.
He’d been cut off.

“So much for you not wanting to talk to him,”
Devlin said bitterly. “Why don’t you call him back, if you’re so
desperate for him? I’ll leave.” He got up and headed for his
leather clothes.

I went after him. “Wait, Dev. Look, I’m
sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” he said scathingly,
slipping into his T-shirt.

“For loving him though he treated me so
badly,” I said grudgingly. “I want what you said to be true, for
there to be a reason he did this. It hurts that he and I went
through so much and it ends like this.”

“You can go through a lot for someone, and
have them not appreciate it,” Devlin said pointedly. “Love isn’t
fair, it’s cruel.” He slid his jacket on.

“Sometimes it is fair,” I said, taking his
hand. “Come with me.”

I led him into the bedroom. Going to my
dresser, I got his choker out of Terian’s box, and placed it in his
palm. The emerald eyes of the bear winked in the light from the
lamp.

“What do you mean to imply?” Devlin asked,
raising his hand until the choker was between us.

“I’ll wear it for you,” I said, “until I
leave on Friday. Will you promise me to take it off me when I have
to go?”

He kissed me in a satisfied way and fastened
it around my neck, the links sliding together with a soft clink.
“By Friday, Sar, you’ll most likely be able to take it off
yourself,” he whispered. “Anna could always remove hers as well,
though we kept that a secret, between us.”

He kissed me ardently. “I’m going to check
the fire, Love. Do your nighttime routine, and I’ll meet you in
bed.”

I let out the dogs, put them in their beds,
did my cat count, and turned off the lights. Devlin was waiting for
me in my bed, under the covers, looking like a dream come to
life.

I stopped in the doorway to look at him.
“We’ll have to move downstairs, Dev. There’ll be sunlight through
those windows in the morning.”

“We will, Sar,” he said, patting the bed
beside him. “But I wanted you here very much, years ago. I want to
have you here in your bed, at least one time. Come here.”

This had to do with Theo, with sticking it to
him by Dev and I having sex in the bed that was once ours. Sure, it
was petty. However, right about now being petty felt good. I pushed
my robe off my shoulders. It landed in a pool at my feet. I stood
naked before him, wearing just the choker.

“You’re beautiful,” he said softly.