Her Sexiest Mistake (21 page)

With a squeak, Mia whipped around to face him. Her cheeks had two high spots of color and there was a strand of hair hanging in her eyes, but something else seemed off…Ah, she’d kicked off her heels, bringing her down to her own petite height. She fixed that by immediately slipping into them again.

Tell him you’re not perfect.

The words had amused him a moment ago, but now he felt a hard tug on his heart. Didn’t she get it? He didn’t want perfection, he just wanted her.

She smoothed her hair in a calm, cool gesture he knew was faked. “Well,” she said with a laugh. “I was going to cook something right here, but if you insist.”

He smiled. “Oh, I insist.”

He let her keep up the pretense all through dinner, which was excellent, but he could tell something else was seriously bugging her. He waited until they’d gotten back home and Hope had gone inside to do homework with Cole before he stopped her. “What is it?” he asked her.

Mia looked at him in surprise. “Is it all over my face then?”

“Maybe I just know you.”

She studied him for a long moment, the evening breeze ruffling her hair. “Is it weak to admit I actually liked the sound of that? You knowing me?”

Her admission grabbed him by the throat, but he smiled and shook his head. “Not at all.”

She leaned in as if to kiss him, and his engine revved, but her cell phone rang. She looked down at the ID and sighed. “It’s Tess. I have to get it.”

“I just heard,” Tess said in Mia’s ear. “Oh, honey. Dickhead didn’t deserve you, either.”

There on the sidewalk, Mia closed her eyes. “You heard?
How?
”

“The grapevine.”

Absorbing the shock, Mia rubbed her forehead. “So the whole world knows I’m gone? Nice.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’ll come up with something. I always do.” Extremely aware of Kevin watching her, she turned away, not wanting to admit quite yet her public humiliation. “Listen, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” She clicked off, plastered a smile on her face, and looked at Kevin.

He stood there, tall, lanky, gorgeous, making her heart hurt. She was holding on by a thread here, and the drama of the evening hadn’t helped ease the drama of the day. She needed him with a shocking desperation. But she couldn’t drag him upstairs; she had an impressionable teen in the house. She couldn’t drag him to
his
house because of Mike. Damn it. She wanted him naked, hard, inside her, making her mindless how only he could.

Maybe they could go for a ride somewhere. Practically vibrating with need, she opened her purse to check for a condom.

“When were you going to admit you couldn’t cook?”

She looked up. He was watching her. “Although, if you’re wondering,” he said, “I could care less if you can or not.” He playfully tugged on a strand of her hair.

Her fingers wrapped around a condom. “Actually, I was thinking of another kind of cooking altogether…”

His hands stroked down her back as if he couldn’t help himself, but then he stepped back, jamming his hands into his pockets. “Nice subject change.”

She sighed. “If you don’t care if I can cook, why bring it up?”

“Because you tried to hide it. Just like you hide everything that you think is too revealing.”

“Like?”

“Like your past. Your weaknesses. Anything you think makes you less than who you want to be. You hide a lot, Mia.”

“I don’t—” But she did. They both knew it.

She’d never seen such a grim expression on his face as he backed a step from her. “You know what? I’m going in,” he said.

The air felt charged as they stared at each other, and she knew the ball was in her court. “Don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t go.”

He let out a sound that managed to perfectly convey his disappointment in the fact she hadn’t faced what he wanted her to face. That she hadn’t talked to him: about herself, about her feelings, about them. When he turned and walked away, she felt her heart crack and give, but her heels felt as if they’d been stuck in wet concrete. She couldn’t move.

“Wait,” she whispered.

He looked back, saw the sheen of tears in her eyes, and closed his. “Mia.” He came back to her and spoke in a quiet tone that broke her heart with each word. “I’m just tired of this, you know? Tired of digging for the real you. You hide at every turn, you close yourself off. I don’t want to have to find out you’ve lost your job by overhearing a damn phone call.”

Humiliation rose up and choked her. “I was going to tell you.”

“When? When you had something else, when the situation was all fixed?”

“Well…yes.”

“See that’s just it. I want more. I want to be needed. I want to be a part of your life.”

“I didn’t keep it to myself to make you angry.”

“I’m not angry, I’m hurt. I thought we were friends.”

The panic that had been sitting in her chest since Dickhead’s office rose up and grabbed her by the throat. “We are friends.”

“How can we be, when you’ve never trusted me?”

“This isn’t about trust.”

“Bullshit.”

She stood there staring at him, thinking it’d been a hell of a day. She’d lost her identity, she’d lost her sense of self, and now she was going to lose him. “I’ve given you all I have to give. It has to be enough.”
Please, God, let it be enough.

He looked at her for another long moment. Then slowly shook his head.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Me, too.” Again he walked off.

And this time she let him go.

K
evin took his bike over the canyons and hills of LA for several hours, but neither the cool breeze nor the scenery helped the hole in his chest. He had a feeling nothing would. When he got home, Mike was waiting for him. They hadn’t spoken much since the arrest.

What’s up?
Kevin signed.

Mike shook his head.
Just waiting for you.

Well there’s a change.

Mike winced and Kevin felt like a jerk.
Look, I just broke it off with Mia and I’m not fit for company, all right?

Mike looked stricken.
What happened?

We don’t agree on what a relationship should be. Story of my life.

I’m sorry. I know that’s inadequate, but I am.
Mike got in Kevin’s way when he tried to move up the stairs.
Maybe we could hang out or something.

I don’t have any cash.

Mike’s eyes reflected regret.
I don’t want money. We could stay home.

Kevin shrugged and turned away.
Nah.

Mike shouldered his way in front of Kevin.
I know you don’t believe me, but I just want to be here for you.

I thought you were mad at me.

I got over it.

Kevin rolled his eyes.

I mean it. Come on, name a problem, let me try to fix it.

Kevin laughed.
You’re going to fix my problems? You hate problems.

Try me.

All right.
Kevin crossed his arms and leaned back against the banister.
The teen center. I need a down payment to buy the building.

How much?

About a hundred times what you’ve got.

I could accept Linda’s marriage proposal.

Linda?

Remember that voice-over actress I dated last month? She’s a daddy’s little rich kid, and she wanted to marry me.

Kevin looked at him.
You’d actually get hitched? For me?

Mike lifted a shoulder.

Kevin laughed.
You’re allergic to commitment, much less marriage.

I wouldn’t be with Tess.
Even Mike looked shocked at that. He staggered backward and sat down.
I can’t believe that came out of my mouth.

Kevin stared back.
You do know the definition of marriage, right? Till death do you part?

Mike rubbed his heart, still looking staggered.
Shut up a minute.
He looked up at Kevin.
I’m having a moment. I just realized I’m in love with her.

Ah, hell. Kevin sat heavily next to him and looked into Mike’s stricken face.
She’d be crazy to have you. But damn lucky.

That won’t get you the teen center.

Yeah, but it’d make you happy. Happy would be good.

Mike nodded.
But I want you to be happy, too. You can fix this somehow, I know it.

Kevin shook his head.
No more fixing. It’s either right, or it’s not.

And at the moment, nothing seemed right, nothing at all.

Mia slept poorly, then got up at the crack of dawn like usual and checked her cell phone.

Not a single message.

Flopping back, she stared at the ceiling, trying not to panic. She was hugely successful. She’d have thought she’d wake to handfuls of offers.

But no one had contacted her.

She was undesirable.
“Shit.”

That the word came out sounding extremely Southern didn’t improve her mood any. God, she missed Kevin already. One night, and she felt as if she’d lost an appendage.

But she’d given him every damn thing she had.

She had, she told herself again, shoving away the niggling doubt, because self-righteous indignation was much easier to deal with.

She’d given her all and had turned out to be lacking. A common problem, apparently.

Her phone rang. Her heart leapt, thinking that maybe…Kevin. She couldn’t pounce on it fast enough.

“Hey, Apple, guess what? I’m missing the ol’ kid.”

Mia thunked her head down on the counter.
Sugar.
“I thought you were busy on your vacation from life.”

“I was
recovering,
” Sugar said somewhat defensively. “But I’m done now. Send her home, damn it.”

Suddenly suspicious, Mia lifted her head and frowned. “Let me guess. You’ve been dumped.”

Sugar burst into tears. “Oh, Apple. And I thought he was the one this time. The real one.”

Mia thought of Kevin and felt like crying, too. “Yeah.”

“And the place is a mess. Only Hope can manage to keep it decent. I need her back.”

Unreasonable panic hit Mia, because Sugar sounded like she meant it, and because…well, because, damn it, Mia had grown rather fond of the troublemaker.

“She’s not the maid, she’s a kid. And she’s now enrolled in a science class that she needs. She wants to be a marine biologist. It’s important to her.”

“But she lives here. With me.”

“Sugar.” Why didn’t she felt like dancing for joy? What was this irrational dread? “Things were bad between the two of you. She’s getting herself straightened out, she’s happy, she—”

“Have her call me,” Sugar interrupted and hung up.

The Appleby way.

When Hope rushed into the kitchen with one minute to spare, Mia used that as an excuse to not mention Sugar’s call. She dropped Hope off at school and drove straight to Tess’s.

“I’ve thought about this. I don’t want to get another job working for some other Dickhead. I want to work for myself. For us. I want in,” she said.

“In what?”

“In Cookie Madness.”

“You’re already in.”

“I want to be a partner. You interested?”

“I am
not
taking your money.”

“Take? No. Invest. Yes. And believe me, we’ll use it wisely.”

Tess looked torn between joy and caution. “I’m not letting you take a chance on your money.”

“Are you kidding me? We’re not taking a chance on anything. We’re going to succeed.”

Tess gnawed on her lower lip. “Mia. Friends shouldn’t do this, combine funds.”

“You’re not my friend. You’re my sister.”

Tess’s eyes filled and Mia shook her head, pointing at her.

“No. Don’t do that—”

Too late. Tess threw her arms around Mia, making her stagger back a step, hugging her hard so that Mia’s eyes burned, too, damn it.

“Besides,” Mia whispered. “We both know how good I am at selling. I’m going to sell us all the way to the bank.”

Tess choked out a laugh and Mia took her first real breath of the day. She had a purpose again, a direction to concentrate her efforts, which meant she was going to be okay.

That night Cole came over for Hope. The two of them sat at the kitchen table, heads bent over their science final projects, looking so happy Mia could hardly breathe.

She’d worked hard all her life, always thinking that the
next
step would be the one to bring her happiness, but, damn it, she was tired of waiting for that elusive feeling to materialize.

Especially when the truth was, the only time she’d come close had been in the company of a man.

One man.

Kevin McKnight.

In a moment of weakness, she waited for Cole to leave, then downed three cups of caffeinated coffee to guarantee staying awake longer than the kid. It wasn’t easy, but adrenaline—and caffeine—fueled her, and when Hope was asleep, Mia sneaked out her back door into the warm, sticky, lightly raining summer night.

God, to have someone to stare up at all those stars with…But there was only one someone that interested her. Her heels sank into the damp grass as she crossed her yard, and then her neighbor’s, and came to Kevin’s.

She stood there alone in the dark, raining night, aching for the sound of his voice, his smile, his arms to come around her.

But his house was dark.

Just like her heart.

Kevin paced the house like a caged tiger. The weather was too bad to go for a long ride on the bike, and nothing else appealed.

In the end, he sat in the darkened kitchen nursing a beer, listening to a late-summer storm pound the windows. Lightning flashed like a strobe, and he got up to look out the window as the storm raged. On the next crashing boom, the sky lit up, the landscape imprinted on his brain like a picture. The low-riding hills, the bush-lined trail to his door…and a woman standing at the end of the trail.

Mia,
standing there in the rain and wind, staring at his house. He couldn’t see her expression, but he wanted to think she was filled with the same pain and longing that filled him.

But in the next flash of lightning, she was gone.

After zero sleep, Mia rose at dawn and dressed for a run. Despite the light drizzle, she was determined to run off some tension. After one block she was joined by familiar battered athletic shoes, topped by a mouthwatering body.

Kevin McKnight.

Mia soaked up the sight of him, so relieved she was speechless. His hair was spiked with rain, his tank top and shorts equally splattered, and he looked, well, vibrantly masculine.

“Hey,” he said in a voice that made her yearn, and adapted his stride to hers.

She knew she was strong, but she couldn’t help herself. “I, um, missed you.”

He tripped, then caught himself. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“I suppose I did.” He let out a smile. “I just wanted to hear it again.”

He looked at her and she looked right back, drinking in all the details, the sheen of his several-day-old stubble, the shadows beneath his eyes that said he wasn’t as laid-back and happy as he seemed, the planes and angles of his face, the sexy line of his jaw.

The piercing eyes that saw right to her soul. “If you missed me,” he said, “you knew how to fix that.”

“One would think. But apparently, smart as I am in some areas, I’m a little slow in others.”

He didn’t correct that, and they jogged along.

He wanted more from her, and she struggled to give it. “Sugar wants Hope back.”

“Does she?”

“Yeah. Best news I’ve had in weeks,” she quipped, then could have bit her tongue.
Why did she do that?

Seeing right through her, he slanted her a long look but didn’t speak. They ran in silence past the park on the right and onto a trail leading into the woods, where there was no development, just trees and wild growth on either side of them. The rain was coming down harder now, cooling her overheated body.

“I’m sorry,” she said, gasping for breath. “That back there, about Hope. I lied. I’m going to miss her like hell. Kevin…I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“Me, too.”

She nodded, not liking the terrifyingly final tone to his voice. She took them off the trail, into the woods.

“Hey,” he called, following her. “Where are you going?”

She kept running. Hoping he followed.

“Mia, I have to get to work…”

She kept running.
Please follow me.

“Well, as long as it fits into your schedule, Ms. Gotta Do Everything Her Way or the Highway,” he muttered.

Finally she stopped and, huffing for air, turned to face him. “See, now this is why you shouldn’t pour your heart out to people. They’ll use your personality traits against you.”

He made a sound that might have been a laugh or a snort of agreement, but it was cut off when she pushed him back against a tree. “You’re going to ruin your shoes,” he warned. “Isn’t that a crime in Mia-land?”

“Ha ha.” She knew they were surrounded by suburbia, and yet it was hard to believe it in here. Craggy rocks and tall pines and oaks were interspersed with patches of high bush and crevasses. They were isolated enough, with no one else around for what felt like miles.

“Mia—”

She held him to the tree, her palms slapping up against the tough, damp sinew of his chest. It shouldn’t have turned her on but it did. He did. She had a feeling he could just stand there breathing and he would arouse her. “Listen to me.”

“I’ve been listening to you for weeks,” he said. “Want to know what you’ve been saying? ‘Do me, Kevin.’ ‘Do me and then walk away, Kevin.’ ‘Don’t get attached.’ ‘Don’t try to get to know more.’ ‘Don’t love me.’ Well, fuck it, Mia. Whether you like it or not, I’ve done all those things, and I’m done. Cooked. DOA.”

She stared up at him in shock. “You…
love
me?”

“Have you been paying attention at all?”

Spots swam in her vision, and from far away she heard him swear as he reversed their positions so that he pressed
her
back against the tree, holding her there with his body. Rain plastered his hair to his head, dripped off his nose, his chin.

“That night at the restaurant…I convinced myself you didn’t really, that you couldn’t…” She gulped in air, held it.

“Breathe, damn it.”

“Hold me. Please—just hold me.”

He swore; then his hand skimmed down to the backs of her legs, where he lifted her up. His erection pressed into her, and despite the wet, she sighed in pleasure. “Oh,” she breathed, her head falling back against the tree so that the raindrops fell on her face.

“Yeah, oh.” He did not look or sound nearly as soft and relieved as she felt, and she lifted her head. His eyes were dark, his face taut, his mouth grim. Angry, frustrated.
Turned on.

“Here,” she gasped. “Please, here.”

“I’m more than this,” he ground out. “I have to be more than this to you.”

“Yes—God!” She gasped when his fingers dipped between her legs, beneath the edge of her panties. He stroked one long finger right over her while she thunked her head back against the tree.

“We’re back where I promised myself I wouldn’t go.”

With effort, she lifted her head and blinked past the now heavy rain to focus his face. “Kevin—”

“Yeah. You know what I think? I think sex with me is safe for you. Short, fast, and damn good.” Another stroke and she arched into him. “But when it comes to more, no can do. Wonder why that is, wonder what you’re afraid of? That I’ll see the real you?” His gaze swept down her body, flushed and damp with perspiration, with rain. “News flash, Mia. I’ve seen the real you. I’ve always seen the real you.”