Her Story (5 page)

She closed her eyes now, for the first time in what felt like days, holding on to that moment. Not the first time she saw her, no. That moment had been fleeting, and too confusing as the nurses rushed her away to check her vitals and clean her up. No, it had been that moment in that tiny hospital room, where she knew she could stare into those eyes forever. Where she vowed to do everything she could to protect her little girl, to keep her safe, to ensure she too would become a mother one day and would share a moment as glorious as the one that had taken place in that very same hospital all those years ago.

She felt a firm hand on her shoulder. Opening her eyes she turned around to see Michael standing there. She could tell by the look on his face that the news they had been waiting all night for wasn’t the news they’d been hoping to hear. She felt her knees buckle, but Michael grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to his chest, barely keeping her from hitting the floor. She heard the wails her body emitted but couldn’t control them, and quite frankly didn’t care to. The happy couples and families all gathered around the glass turned to look at them – to stare at them really. Michael didn’t shush her, or try to calm her – after 30 years of marriage he had learned this approach would only upset her further. The only thing he could do now is hold her, and try to hold himself together. Slowly he led her away from the nursery window – and the prying eyes – to a row of nearby chairs. He lowered her into one of the seats, and sat down beside her. She just stared at the floor and continued to sob. He sat there stoically, arm around her, waiting for her to come up for air. Tears had stopped falling from her eyes, but her chest continued to heave as she inhaled sharp, short breaths. He squeezed her shoulder tightly, and she turned to look at him. Her bright blue eyes looked empty. Even though she was looking right at him, he wasn’t quite sure she could see him.

“W-w-where’s Linus?” she stammered, turning her gaze back to the floor. She was rubbing the palms of her hands against her thighs rhythmically.

“Don’t you worry about that now, honey,” he replied, taking her hands in his. Her jittering like that always put him on edge. He could never exactly put his finger on what it was about – and now was obviously not the time to try and figure it out. She looked at him quizzically, but said nothing.

If Michael told her not to worry, she didn’t.

Chapter 10

What Michael neglected to tell her, however, was that Linus had abandoned their plan to head to scour the halls to find something to eat or drink. After seeing his newborn daughter – so small and fragile, and unable to be held – he became even more hysterical. That was more or less the reason Michael suggested they take a walk. His daughter was out of surgery, but where was his wife? Linus wouldn’t stop wringing his hands. He wouldn’t lift his gaze from the floor.

Instead of following Michael down the hallway that led to a cluster of vending machines, he stormed over to the nurses’ station and demanded an update on his wife. It was the first time Michael had seen him exhibit even the least bit of assertiveness. It made him almost like Linus for a minute. Staggering back over to where Michael was standing, still wringing his hands, Linus looked a bit more composed; a bit less manic.

“She said the doctor should be coming out soon with an update,” he said almost absentmindedly. “That’s good right? I mean, the baby’s out, so they must just be closing her up and, I mean, they do that all the time, right? Surgeons? They stitch people back together all the time…” he trailed off, his gaze returning to the floor.

“Mr. Pelt?” The two men turned around to see what they presumed to be the surgeon, still wearing his scrub cap. Linus shook his head in acknowledgement and the surgeon took this as his cue to continue. “Mr. Pelt, I’m so sorry, but your wife, she didn’t”

“No,” Linus cut him off. “No, no, no. That’s just not possible. The baby - when they brought out the baby they said that – no. Just no.” Linus was shaking his head rapidly from side to side.

“Mr. Pelt, I’m sorry. There was just too much internal bleeding after the baby was removed. We did everything we could. The good news is your daughter is going to be fine. We’re going to keep her for observation, but you should be able to take her home within the week.”

“The good news? Take her home? Take her home to what – to where – to a home without a mother?” The volume of Linus’ voice slowly rose with each statement.

“Again, I am so sorr-“ This time it was Michael’s turn to cut him off.

“That’s enough,” he said holding up his palm. “Just… that’s enough.” The surgeon turned and walked away. Michael re-focused his attention on Linus. His hands were no longer being flipped and wrung, but instead hung in clenched fists at his side. He stared intensely at the floor. Michael just stood there watching him, not knowing what to do or say. Michael had always been a very composed person; not one to show much emotion. He knew how to comfort his wife, but his son-in-law was a mystery to him.

“I can’t do it,” Linus said out of the blue, looking up at Michael. “There’s just – there’s no – I just can’t.” His right foot started tapping rapidly on the floor.

“Now Linus,” Michael said, attempting to remain calm, “you don’t know what you’re saying. Just relax. Everything will be fine.”

“I’m sorry Mike, I really am. I just – I can’t.” And with that, Linus turned toward the doors of the hospital, clenching and unclenching his fists as he walked.

Michael just stood there. He didn’t call after Linus, he didn’t run after him, or try to stop him.

If Linus was going to walk out on his daughter, Michael didn’t want her to have anything to do with him. He turned and headed back up to the nursery floor to tell his wife what had happened. They might have lost their baby girl, but they had also been given a new blessing; a new baby girl to love and raise and care for. As Michael pushed the “up” button on the elevator, he silently prayed that this little angel’s story would have quite a different ending.