Her Wicked Proposal: The League of Rogues, Book 3 (19 page)

Chapter Sixteen

Anne put a hand to her lips. The taste and feel of Cedric’s mouth still lingered pleasantly. She was torn between running after him and running far away. Although she could not remember him, or anything about herself, she was positive that she desired him. Her body responded with liquid fire to his touch, his kiss, even his voice. Cedric’s every action toward her screamed of the primal mating of bodies and souls. Would it be so bad to give in to her desires? They were husband and wife, after all.

She could give in, but she decided that she would not let him be aware of such an intention. Not yet. Anne had her pride like anyone else, and Cedric’s story had raised some questions she needed answered first. She was, however, fascinated with the idea of Cedric fully dominating her with that tender but exciting passion.

“My lady?” A voice broke through her thoughts. It was the young footman, Sean Hartley. He waited patiently at the edge of the doorway.

“Come in, Hartley. I am told that I owe you my life. I wanted to offer my gratitude to you.”

Hartley blushed and cast his eyes to the ground. “’Twas no trouble, my lady. I am glad you are recovering.”

“I seem to have no memory, except for tiny flashes, but beyond that I feel much better. My shoulder only aches a little.”

Hartley looked mildly concerned at her words, his brows knitting together. Then he began to fish about his trouser pockets before withdrawing something. It was a beautiful garnet stone surrounded by tiny diamonds. Rather than being affixed to a chain, it was threaded through a black satin ribbon.

“I had to remove it when the doctor was seeing to your shoulder. I wanted to give it back to you in person because of what it means to you.”

Anne drew closer, curiosity and bewilderment filling her at the sight of the lovely gem. “What is it?”

“I am told it was your wedding present from his lordship.”

“A necklace?” Something about that stirred a longing inside her. Light caught the red garnet, and ruby spots of light danced on the wall behind her.

“I heard from your lady’s maid that his lordship believed you would often take off the ring he gave you while riding so that it would not ruin your gloves. He wished for you to have this to wear in its place.”

Anne felt the briefest flash, the pang of wanting to return such thoughtfulness. Had she given him something in return for such a beautiful gift? With a sinking feeling, she sensed she hadn’t, and the thought filled her with shame. A man like Cedric deserved something wonderful. While she was recovering, she would put her mind toward that.

“Hartley, would you be so kind as to help me put it on?”

Hartley fixed the clasp at the ends of the ribbon and the garnet fell against Anne’s collarbone as it if had always belonged there.

“Is Brighton very far from here?”

“About half an hour by coach.” Hartley kept his head bowed in respect, eyes fixed on the floor.

“You need not look down when speaking to me, Hartley.” Her voice was gentle as she tried to coax him out of his determined shyness.

“You are my mistress and the Viscountess Sheridan.” His tone implied that was all there was to the matter.

Anne frowned with mild irritation. She didn’t want her servants refusing to meet her gaze.

“And you do as your mistress commands?”

“Always.”

“Then whenever you address me I should like you to look me in the eye. Is that understood?” Anne planted her hands on her hips and waited.

“Yes, my lady.” Hartley met her gaze. His shy blush made him utterly charming. Anne had no doubt that he was a rogue in the making if there ever was one.

“Now, about Brighton. I should like to go. Would you summon the coach for me?”

Hartley’s expression turned grim and resolute. “I was given orders to keep you here on the estate. The doctor does not wish you to be far from the house should your memory return. There could be a chance of pain in such a case.”

“The doctor?” Anne heaved a sigh. “Am I allowed to do anything?”

“I am sorry. The doctor and his lordship are merely concerned with your well-being.” Sean’s crestfallen gaze made her regret her somewhat petulant response.

“But not my happiness it seems,” Anne muttered. “Will Lord Sheridan be gone a long time?”

“I am not sure. He has not been out on the lake since the accident,” Hartley replied.

“What happened to him? Did I know him before…” Anne could not bear to finish.

“It’s not my place to say, my lady.”

One more mystery about my life,
Anne thought. She tried to remember, shutting her eyes and focusing on Cedric and his sightless brown eyes. But nothing happened, except twinges of pain right behind her temples.

“Is the lake very far? The one where my husband is fishing?”

“Only a quarter mile.” Hartley’s eagerness showed his relief to discuss something else.

“Then take me there at once.”

Hartley blinked in shock. “You wish to fish?”

“Heavens no. I would, however, like to swim.” Her arm was still in a sling, but she’d practiced moving it this morning, and the pain had been surprisingly limited. A bit of light exercise might assist her recovery, if she took care to do it gently.

Anne stifled a laugh at Hartley’s sputtering protests as she had him lead the way. He scrambled forward, knowing, as any man in his position, that she would not be deterred from this mission. Anne caught up with him in the hallway and marched alongside him, not at all like a well-bred genteel creature she knew she ought to be. Her father had always told her to move with purpose, even if one had no purpose at all.

The sudden recollection caught her breath in her chest.
Her father.
That brief memory seared her heart. She bit her lip. It was as though memories of him were hiding behind a thin gossamer veil, one she could make out faint shapes behind, but not fully see.

I mustn’t push myself. I should take it slow.
She breathed out and put her mind to those few memories which were coming back, the ones of her father, the way he would offer advice over warmed brandy glasses in the evening before the fire in their drawing room. The way Cedric would call her
Anne, darling
. And his kisses. Those burned through the barriers in her mind. A man who did that to her was no stranger; it was why she trusted him whenever he told her anything of her past. She had trusted him then, and she would continue to do so. Her body wouldn’t lie to her, she knew it.

It was easy to forget her sadness once they reached the outdoors. The day was sunny, and no remains of the storm from the previous night lingered. It was a perfect April day, the trees heavy with emerald canopies and the wildflowers a vibrant multicolored blanket on the fields leading to the lake.

Far out in the water Anne could make out the distant shape of a small fishing boat. It was a brown speck on the dark waters of the lake. Fishing would be good today, Anne knew. Rain always churned up the waters and made it impossibly murky, just the sort of environment fish preferred, as did fishermen. The hooks could be thrown in with shiny lures and the disturbed silt from the lake bottom would blur the fish’s vision, making it far easier for the creature to mistake a lure for prey.

For once, Anne was thankful of her husband’s blindness. He would not be able to see her when she stripped off her clothes and dove into the lake. Although she couldn’t remember much about Cedric, she had a feeling he would be furious at her actions for a multitude of reasons.

“Hartley, please turn your back. I shall call if I need you.”

“Yes, my lady.” Hartley spun and walked into the nearest pool of shade to wait.

Once she was satisfied the young footman would not be turning around, she started undoing the buttons of her gown and sliding her slippers off. She placed her clothes in a neat pile on a dry patch of grass several feet away from the lake’s edge and dropped the sling on top of them. Clad in only her chemise, she headed toward the water.

* * * * *

Cedric held the fishing pole loose in one hand, while his other trailed lazy patterns on the water’s surface. Tiny fish came up to investigate, nibbling hopefully at the tips of his fingers. The heavy storm had mucked up the water and the fish were bold in their movements.

“I miss this, you know,” Cedric admitted to his friend.

Ashton gave a low chuckle. “Miss what?”

“This.” Cedric waved a hand about in the air, gesturing to the world around them. “I miss spending time with you, and the others. We haven’t done something like this in years.”

“It has been a long time, hasn’t it?” There was a pensive tone to Ashton’s voice, a note of sadness in it that made Cedric’s heart tighten. “It seems the day the five of us forged our bond, that it was also the death knell for our old lives. Boyhood passed and we had to move forward to become the men we are.”

“Not all of us moved forward that day.” Cedric couldn’t help but remember the life that was lost that night they’d saved Charles from drowning.

Ashton’s voice turned somber. “No, not all of us.”

Cedric sighed in agreement. Ashton had always been the one among them to see the truth, even the darker truths about them all.

“I was just thinking how strange it was that none of us have been indulging in our usual whims. Well, everyone except Charles, of course.”

“What do you mean?” Cedric sat up a little straighter.

“Take Godric, for instance. Ordinarily he would be knee-deep in trouble with some arrogant mistress of his. Lucien would be at the Midnight Garden doing Lord-knows-what. And you would be at Tattersalls or the races, betting on horses at all hours of the day.”

Cedric quickly saw the point of this discussion. “And you would be living in your office, eyes fixed to your investment figures the entire day.”

“Exactly. Yet here we are, you and I, enjoying a day of fishing. It is like we are boys again, or rather not boys so much as we are regaining the essence of our younger selves.” Ashton’s voice was rough with emotion. “Forgive me, Cedric. I speak nonsense.”

“No. You are right. Things are changing. We can’t go back to the men we used to be. Nor even the boys we once were. So where does that leave us? The only route is forward, but what lies ahead?” Cedric voiced the question he knew was plaguing Ashton’s heart.

“What indeed.”

“I, for one, blame Emily. That little scamp has gotten the lot of us into this mess. Of course, I have to thank her as well. If not for sweet Em, then I would not have Anne.” The thought of an Anne-less world sent a shudder through him.

“I too find it most amusing. Abducting her was the most foolish and yet somehow the wisest thing we ever did. I dare not think who Godric would be with today without her, or Lucien for that matter. He was getting darker, you know, in his desires. I was starting to worry.” Ashton’s admission caught Cedric off guard.

“What? I had no idea he was…”

“Oh yes. He was getting fonder and fonder of multiple partners. He was finding no satisfaction in bed play anymore. Men like him can burn out, and without love to fuel their passion, they fade away. Horatia’s love for him saved his soul. He won’t ever grow weary of her, I think. Love like theirs doesn’t fade.”

“It better not,” Cedric grumbled. The thought of his best friend leaving his sister to bed other women put a sour taste in his mouth. He didn’t want to think Lucien was capable of it, but he knew the man only too well. But thus far, his sister and his friend seemed lost in each other, and with the baby on the way, Cedric felt their world was looking up.

“Oh dear…” Ashton’s voice was sharp with surprise.

“What?” Cedric sat up so abruptly the boat rocked from side to side, and cool water lapped up over the edges, soaking his shins. “What is it, Ash?”

“You must promise not to get angry.”

Cedric growled low in his throat. “Ash…”

“It’s your wife.”

Cedric’s heart lurched and panic seized him. “What about her?”

“She’s swimming in the other side of the lake.”

“Swimming?” he echoed, as his brain tried to decide if this was bad news or not.

“In nothing but her chemise. I highly doubt the doctor would want her to reinjure her shoulder.” Ashton added this last comment as an amused afterthought.

Cedric fumbled for an oar and shoved it into Ashton’s lap. “Row! Now!” he bellowed.

Chapter Seventeen

Clad only in her chemise, Anne headed toward the water. She felt rather wicked, being so scantily clad, but this was her property now, by virtue of marriage, and she wanted to do this. Only her husband had the power to stop her from doing as she wished, and he was far off on the other side of the lake. The thought almost made her laugh. He would be furious no doubt, but rather than scare her, the idea instead amused her.

It had been awhile since she’d indulged in such improper behavior of swimming in her underclothes. Even though she remembered little of her past, she couldn’t deny how freeing the water felt lapping at her bare legs. As she pushed deeper into the cold lake, a memory surfaced.

Frolicking in the shallows of a similar lake, an older man watching her, an indulgent smile on his kind face. She laughed, a child’s laugh, happy to play while her father remained close.

The pain of seeing that man’s face for only a moment cut deep.

Papa
. He had been dead only a week before she rushed to the altar? What had motivated her to do such a thing? Why had she married Cedric? And furthermore, why had Cedric agreed to it? No doubt the scandal of it would be the talk of the
ton
for the next decade. Anne placed a hand on her stomach, wanting to ease the creeping dread that settled there.

Focusing back on her desire to swim, she tiptoed farther out until she was waist deep, the chill of the water a stark contrast to the warmth of the air. It would take her ages to coax herself out fully at this rate. There was no other option but to plunge in. She dunked herself under and gasped at the sheer iciness of the water.

Soon the cold water felt good against the hot burn of her healing shoulder. She used her good arm to paddle out a bit farther and kicked her legs. This was her element, the physical pleasure of knowing one’s body and understanding how it worked.

She stretched her limbs, feeling the muscles strain and work—it felt so good. Anne wasn’t a thin woman. She was curvaceous with a bit of natural strength that tended to make gown fittings irritating when the dressmaker muttered about how she bulged in the wrong places. Her body wasn’t perceived to be beautiful, not by the standards of the
ton
, but she’d stopped caring about such things long ago. That much she was sure of.

Anne swam far out into the lake, momentarily forgetting to keep her eye on Cedric’s fishing boat. It wasn’t until she had dived deep a few times before she noticed the fishing boat had pulled up onto the shore and a scowling viscount stood at the bank’s edge glaring in her direction.

Cedric tapped his booted foot in the soggy grass, creating an odd squelching sound. Anne stifled a giggle as she read the look in his sightless gaze. He was promising her punishment for her wanton recklessness. Farther back, Lord Lennox was conversing with Hartley, both keeping their backs to her. Anne went as still as possible, using her legs and good arm to tread water.

“I know you are there, Anne. Come out at once. You should not be risking yourself, not with your shoulder.” He punctuated this with a jab of his index finger at the ground near his feet, as though to make her heel like a spaniel.

“I’m not coming out with you there,” she responded, trying to keep from laughing at her sudden need to play the imp.

“I cannot see you and the others aren’t looking.”

“No,” she stoutly refused. The clenching of his fists told her that once she was within his reach she’d be in trouble—what sort of trouble she was unsure, but she doubted he’d hurt her.

“Go in after her, Cedric,” Ashton hollered over his shoulder.

Anne gasped at the forwardness of his suggestion. She was nearly naked and the idea of Cedric catching her swimming in nothing but her chemise was exciting, and a tad frightening.

“Please, Anne. I haven’t swum since I lost my sight.”

“Since when does one need to see in order to swim?” His admission managed to calm her a little and she tried to tease him. She was afraid and so was he, even if their fears were different.

“Please do not make me drag you out. It will be unpleasant for us both.”

“Cedric, wait.” Anne wanted more than anything to connect with him, to uncover the reasons that had made her marry him. “Why don’t you come out into the shallows, join me for a minute. If you don’t, I might be tempted to stay here and grow a tail. Would you like that, husband? To have to come and find me in my underwater grotto?”
Trust me,
she urged.

“No.”

Now he was the one refusing to cooperate. What an amusing situation they found themselves in.

“Do you plan on hiding in a shell for the rest of your life, husband? Come into the water as high as your waist, get reacquainted with it.”

“She has a point, Cedric,” Ashton cut in.

“You may return with Hartley back to the manor,” Cedric said, his voice a little gruff.

“Very well. Come find me this evening.” Ashton turned and walked away with the footman.

“Are you truly going to make me come in after you?” Cedric knelt down to pull off his boots and roll up his trousers.

“Most definitely.”

Anne’s eyes fixed on Cedric’s muscled calves as he began to gingerly walk into the water. He got in knee-deep before he paused and tilted his head, as though listening for any sign of her. Anne had the sudden feeling he was hunting her. She held her breath and drifted farther back, but a startled fish splashed by her shoulder. Cedric lunged for her and toppled into the water. His cry of alarm startled her. She swam for him, catching him about the waist as he flailed in panic.

“Put your feet down. It’s shallow here,” she urged.

“I know.” He suddenly stood and grasped her body, hauling her to him. A hunter victorious, he smiled and curled his arms around her back, hugging her.

Cedric relaxed. He was blinking rapidly, water streaming in rivulets down his face as he clung to her. As his breathing began to slow he bent his head, resting his chin on the top of her head.

“You’ll be the death of me, Anne,” he murmured. The warmth of his breath against her temple made her skin break out into goose bumps.

Trembling, she stroked his cheek, watching his empty brown eyes fix on something distant. The vast emptiness there was starkly beautiful, like a tragic hero from an opera. He called to her, begged for her to fill him with love and light.

“Why do I trust you?” she whispered. “I should be terrified that I remember so little of my life, yet thoughts of you ease my fears. Why?”

Cedric was silent for a moment. His large hands spanned her back, making her feel small in a way she’d never felt before.

“From the moment I met you, you captivated me. You were clever, but also sweet and innocent. Then that innocence was ripped from you and you remained strong and alone. I saw myself in you, a kindred spirit. We bear our burdens and fight to keep those we love happy and safe. It was inevitable that I would want you, desire you the way I do.”

She combed fingers through his wet hair, brushing it out of his eyes. “What was our wedding like?”

He gave a boyish smile. “Perfect. You were the loveliest bride to grace St. George’s.”

“Flattery from a blind man?” she teased. “I wonder if that’s reliable.”

“I knew how you would look, and then I held you in my arms, your scent, your touch. You were perfect. We were both happy.”

“Were?”

“We quarreled a few days ago. I left and you fled into the night. That’s how you came to be wounded.” Cedric massaged her shoulder and sighed.

Anne pressed her body into his, molding herself against him, and he moaned. “Can’t we forget all of that? Can we not start over?”

“Darling, I’m doing my best not to ravish you senseless at this moment. It would be unfair to you in your condition. I will not have you remember me as a monster.” Cedric’s valiant and honorable words were somewhat diminished by the insistent press of his arousal against her hip beneath the water.

“Have we made love before?” She wanted him to say yes. It would explain her body’s recognition of his, her desire whenever he touched her.

“We’ve come close. In the library of Godric’s townhouse.”

A flicker of memory overtook her.
A couch, two bodies tangled on it, teeth sinking into her neck as she climaxed around his fingers.
Anne shuddered in Cedric’s arms.

“I think I remember that, or at least my body does.” It never ceased to amaze her how easy it was to be so open and honest with him.

Cedric responded with a honey-rich laugh. “I would hope so, you little hellion. It was quite the experience for both of us. I’ve never had such pleasure watching a woman come apart in my arms.”

Anne was thankful he could not see her blush. Despite her body’s initial warmth, the cold water was starting to settle into her skin. Cedric’s hands ran the length of her arms as he tried to warm her.

“I believe we’ve had enough swimming for the day. Shall we go?” It wasn’t so much a question as a politely phrased command. She didn’t mind, however, because she was getting colder by the minute.

“Yes, let’s get inside.” Anne guided him out of the water and tugged him to a halt by her pile of clothes. He put on his boots and waited patiently as she drew her gown over her body, ignoring the discomfort of her wet skin sticking to the fabric. Once she donned her slippers and fastened her garnet necklace about her neck she took his hand. They walked back to the house in amiable silence, until the shrieking of the housekeeper sliced through the air.

“Never in all my years!” The elderly woman paused to poke Cedric with the cane he’d left at the manor. “Swimming without someone to watch over you? And in your clothes, no less?”

Anne waited for Cedric to berate the housekeeper for her treatment of him, but the viscount merely smiled.

“We’re fine. Send someone to light my bedroom fire and bring something to eat in an hour.”

The housekeeper scoffed loudly and walked off. Cedric wrapped an arm about Anne’s waist, tucking her into his side and kissing the crown of her hair. The teasing and affectionate gestures he so often did without a second thought made her melt inside. Was this love, or something close to it? She hoped it was with all of her heart. In this new world where she was so alone and her memories so dim, the thought of being loved was her oasis in the desert.

“I can feel you thinking. What is it?” Cedric asked as they ascended the stairs.

Anne nibbled her lip, debating on what to tell him.

Cedric patted her waist. “Come, sweetheart, talk to me.”

“I want to be happy, and I feel that maybe we will be. Do you think me very foolish?”

“To hope for happiness? Never, my heart, never.”

“How do you always do that to me?” she whispered, her voice shaking with emotions she was afraid to let out.

Cedric’s face lined with concern. “Do what?”

“Make me feel strong, even when I feel the weakest I have ever been.”

The corners of his eyes wrinkled into fine lines as he smiled. “We are kindred spirits. You make me whole again. When I am with you, Anne, the darkness in my eyes ceases to penetrate my soul.”

Anne’s own eyes suddenly burned with tears. What a tragedy for him, to know the life he loved had been changed forever. There were so many things he could no longer do. The thought that she could help him was a powerful one, a wonderful one.

Cedric led her into his room. It was dark, the curtains pulled over the window, making Anne feel that it was evening rather than midday.

Evening
. Such an intimate hour of the day. She couldn’t help but imagine that he might finally take her to bed, despite his insistence he would not until she was better. He pulled a cord and a maid appeared immediately. Her eyes widened as she took in the soaked clothes of her master and mistress.

“Molly, would you be so kind as to fetch Anne’s nightgown and have a footman prepare a bath here in my chamber?”

Anne blushed as Cedric tugged her toward his dressing room. A large metal tub awaited her behind a screen, big enough for two people.

“Wait here.” Cedric went around the other side of the screen to change his clothes.

Through the dim light Anne could only hear the rustle of fabric, the whisper of it on skin. Her body began to ache. One peek, she promised herself, and leaned around the edge of the screen. Cedric had stripped every bit of clothing off, with his back to her as he shuffled through a collection of clean shirts, his hands rubbing the cloth between his thumb and forefinger as though measuring the quality of the textures.

Anne, however, could not keep her eyes off his hips and buttocks. The sculpted flesh looked hard and trim. She had the sudden urge to dig her fingers into it, to urge him to take her body now, and to hell with waiting. Anne made an involuntary sound as he spun around, revealing his front. That male part of him was there before her eyes and she swallowed hard. He was incredibly large.
Too
large.

Her thighs clenched together.
That would never fit.

“Everything all right, darling?” he called out, unaware she could see him.

Anne ducked behind the screen and responded. “Yes, I was just cold.” A blatant lie. Her body was hot enough to warm the entire lake.

More soft rustling, the sound of bare feet and then Cedric came around the screen in a loose shirt and snug trousers. His feet, Anne noticed with fascination, were large and beautiful. She’d never thought feet could be lovely, but his were. The feet of an athletic man. He padded over to her and kissed her forehead.

Anne was overcome. This beautiful, seductive man was all hers. How did she come to deserve him?

“A hot bath and warm meal will do you good. How is your shoulder? I want the doctor to come and put a new sling on as soon as you are done here.”

“It aches a little, but otherwise it’s fine. The doctor set the shoulder well.”

“Thank heavens for that.” Cedric sighed against her cheek before kissing her lightly.

A few minutes later Anne was stripping off her clothes and easing into the steaming bath. Cedric remained close by, and although he could not see her, Anne felt exposed and vulnerable nonetheless.