Her Wyoming Man (13 page)

“You’re not like everyone else, and I don’t want you to be. I like you just the way you are.” He smoothed away the frown with his thumb. “You do belong. Right here with me. With our family.”

She silenced him by covering his lips with her fingers.

He kissed the tips and then took them from his mouth. “There’s a lot you don’t want me to say. I can’t say I like you the way you are. I can’t tell you you’re beautiful, even though you’re so exquisite, I can barely breathe when I look at you.”

“How would you like to be valued for your handsome face?”

“I wouldn’t mind a compliment now and then.”

That admission surprised Ella, and she studied him as though for the first time, running her index finger across the bridge of his straight nose and across his soft thick eyebrow. His children were handsome, and if she bore him a baby, it would be another fine-looking Lantry. The thought of having her own child filled her with longing and excitement. She’d never let her hopes and dreams extend that far before, and the thought of a future here with this man filled her with joy. Her feelings for him were confusing, but she wanted to hang on to the giddy pleasure.

“Well, you are a fine-looking man. I can’t deny that. But it’s the true character of who you are that speaks to me.”

“And what is my character saying to you?”

“That you are ambitious. Steady and competent. You have a strict code of ethics and high expectations of those around you. You like to be in control, but you’re not unfair. You’re a loving father, concerned with the well-being of your children.” She thought a moment before adding, “You always do the right thing, and that’s important to you.”

He seemed surprised by her words, but said nothing.

“Which would you rather hear?” she asked. “That you are a good man or that you are handsome?”

He grinned. “Only a vain man would say he preferred the compliments.” He threaded his fingers through her tangled hair and pushed it away from her face. “I shall speak only of your character to woo you, then, because you are not vain.”

He caught her knee and slid it over his hip to align their bodies. “You, Ella Lantry, are one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. You never judge anyone by their appearance or on a first impression. You are appreciative of the smallest thing, down to the most infinitesimal effort on another’s part. You’re quite curious. And you don’t recognize your own value.”

A niggle of panic rose up inside Ella at his intuitive assessment. She couldn’t afford for him to look at her too astutely. She swallowed to keep fear from her voice. “Well-read on the subject of explorers and wines doesn’t mean smart.”

“I didn’t say well educated, though you are. There’s a difference. And I get the impression that you feel isolated, even here with our household or in a gathering.”

She didn’t care for his shrewd perceptions, but she understood that they made him a good leader. “I admire you,” she admitted. “And everything about you. Your honesty and your ambition and even your idealism.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Idealism?”

“Yes.” And more than anything she wanted to be worthy of such an upright and principled man. He was as steady and unchanging as a rock in the middle of a raging river.

“No one has ever called me idealistic before.”

“Perhaps I should stick to handsome.”

He smiled, and this time it was a smile that crinkled his eyes and showed his teeth. He cupped her cheek and kissed her.

She ran her palm over his muscled shoulder and gently scraped her nails through the coarse hair on his chest. She liked everything about this man.

When the kiss ended, he said, “Lying here like this is new to me. Talking and enjoying each other, I mean. All along I was afraid to frighten you off. I didn’t want to spoil what we had begun. Our marriage seemed so fragile.”

It was more fragile than he imagined, but not for the reasons he thought. By taking this step and consummating their union, she hoped to strengthen their bond.

“Ella,” he said, with an edge of seriousness that concerned her.

“You talk more than I might have anticipated,” she said.

“I love you.”

His words took her by surprise.
Love?
She blinked, hoping for comprehension, and sat up, taking the sheet with her to tuck around her breasts. She threaded her hair back from her face without looking at him. “You didn’t have to say that.”

“No one ever has to say it. I told you because I felt it, and it was right to say so.”

He loved her? Once she’d believed her mother had loved her. But because the woman hadn’t protected her from a life in the parlor house, she’d doubted her love—more now than even back then. After seeing children who were protected, she questioned what kind of love allowed a child to succumb to the fate Ella had. She’d seen the way Nathan safeguarded his children and planned for their futures. Her mother had never cared for her the same way.

Of course the love he declared had nothing to do with parents and children. It was love between a man and a woman.

No one had ever said those words to her before, and she didn’t know how to receive them or to react.

He sat. “You don’t have to say it,” he told her. “I’m not expecting anything from you.”

She recognized the pain in his voice, though. He wanted her to say it. “It’s just…” she began and groped for words to explain. “I’m not sure I believe in that kind of love.”

He was silent for a few minutes. The clock on the bureau ticked. “You don’t have to say it,” he assured her. “But just so you know…I will make you believe.”

Chapter Sixteen

S
he remained facing away from him, not wanting him to see her eyes, concerned over what would be revealed in them.

If anyone could make her believe, it was him. If love actually existed, this man would know about it. But she feared her heart had already been hardened. She’d spent her childhood, and all the years since, perfecting her ability to not feel anything. Now her worst fear was of truly being the lifeless pretty doll she’d been created to be.

If anyone could help her change, Nathan Lantry could. After what she’d experienced and all he’d shared with her, she wanted to be a different person inside as well as out. Turning, she scooted closer and bracketed his face with her palm. “I believe in you.”

She kissed him, and he snagged her around the waist and pulled her against him. She let the sheet fall away and straddled his lap, appreciating the surprise and delight on his face. “Let’s not talk now,” she suggested.

Within minutes, Nathan was speechless anyway.

Nathan couldn’t remember a summer he’d enjoyed more. He had two cases that kept him working late several evenings a week, though when he arrived home, he didn’t think of the job again until the following day. He rarely thought of Deborah, in fact, he placed their wedding photograph back in his bottom bureau drawer and never looked at it.

Ella couldn’t have been more different from his first wife, from temperament and vitality to her cheerful conversations. Not only did she accept their physical relationship, she embraced it as a willing participant, even initiating lovemaking and speaking frankly. The first time she’d suggested they change position, he’d been so surprised, he couldn’t remember what he’d answered. His reply must have been coherent, because the result had been a memorable experience.

He was behaving like a love-struck boy. Every time he looked at her fully clothed, he imagined the night before. As soon as he kissed her, he craved more. Simply her scent was enough to have him straining against his clothing.

“Perhaps I should behave with more decorum and…well, restraint,” he said to her one evening after the children were asleep. She’d come to stand beside his desk in the study, and he’d urged her into his lap.

“Is that what you’d like from me?” she asked. “More modesty perhaps?”

“Not in a hundred years,” he replied and slid his palm along her neck to draw her near for a kiss.

She offered him her mouth and greeted his seeking tongue with her own. “Are you content being
un
restrained?” she asked.

“Oh, yes,” he replied against her lips.

“Perhaps we can agree that decorum has its place,” she suggested. “And it’s not in our bedroom.”

He laughed. She was a vixen, this wife of his. Playful and seductive and so unexpectedly warm and willing. At times he couldn’t believe his good fortune in finding her—and in her willingness to become his wife in all respects. Theirs was a relationship he’d never known.

The last Saturday in June, she was a bundle of nerves on the evening of their first dinner party. Even though she’d planned and cleaned and decorated and hired an additional cook and two maids for the event, she flushed pink and fluttered over the tables of food and the table settings.

“Ella, everything is perfect,” he told her for the third time. “Stop worrying and calm down before you have the staff in a shambles.”

She grasped his hands. “I know. I just don’t want anything to spoil the evening or embarrass you.”

“Try to keep your hands to yourself under the table this evening, then.”

She laughed and her features relaxed. “I won’t be sitting beside you, of course. I’ve arranged for you to be next to Mrs. Lawrence, and I’ll be sitting beside Reverend Kane.”

“Then definitely keep your hands above the table,” he admonished.

“Nathan!” she gasped and pulled away.

He loved to make her laugh and joined her now.

She shook her head. “Don’t you dare make eyes at me and make me think of this during dinner. If I unexplainably burst out laughing and make a fool of myself, I’ll never forgive you.”

“Yes, you will.”

“I won’t. I swear I won’t.”

“I guess you shouldn’t look at me then.”

The door chimes rang.

A shiver of panic ran up Ella’s spine. She stared wide-eyed at Nathan.

“This evening is going to be fine. You’ve planned everything. Now let’s go greet our guests.” He caught her hand and led her toward the foyer.

The Olivers were the first to arrive, followed by the Evanses and the Iversons.

When the Bradburys arrived, Lena swept into the great room and eyed the crowd. Her gaze swooped from one person to the next with an expression that seemed contemptuous and almost angry. Ella made a point of crossing the room to greet her warmly. “I’m glad you could make it this evening.”

“Why’s that?” the other woman asked. “So you could rub my nose in the fact that you made a better match than I did?”

Taken aback, Ella worked to keep surprise from her voice and expression. She shot her glance to Tom, but he and Nathan were exchanging greetings and he hadn’t overheard. “Not at all. I’m simply pleased you came.”

Their husbands moved into the great room and Ella gestured for Lena to enter. Lena leaned sideways toward her, and Ella recognized the smell of liquor that clung to the woman. “You can drop the nicey-nice when it’s just the two of us,” she said, then spotted Nathan pouring the gentlemen drinks and made a beeline for the cabinet and glasses.

Exclaiming over the furnishings and decor in the great room, the other women hadn’t noticed Ella’s exchange with Lena. Ella joined them once again, but kept a wary eye on Lena.

Once Phoebe arrived, she discovered Ella’s decorated folding screen and admired it.

“You’ve done your new husband proud,” Betsy told her. “He must be pleased as punch that he found you.”

Ella glanced across the room to where Nathan stood talking with Richard and Carl. He caught her look and gave her a nod of recognition. He was pleased to have married her, but she was pretty sure her decorating sense had nothing to do with his contentment. She smiled and he grinned and turned back to his conversation.

The maid appeared in the doorway and gestured to Ella. In the hallway, she discovered two more guests, Paul and Celeste Adams. “You came!” Ella exclaimed and rushed to Celeste’s side.

“I’m sorry we’re late,” Celeste said. “I almost backed out, but Paul said we were coming or else.”

Ella frowned. “You didn’t want to come?”

“Oh, she wanted to come all right,” Paul said. “She didn’t think she had a fancy enough dress. I told her she’s as pretty as any of the other women.”

“And you were right, of course,” Ella said. She hadn’t stopped to think that Celeste’s dresses may not be as elegant as those Ella owned. She’d always looked nice in Dodge City, though. It had been a requirement to dress appropriately for dinner. And she did look becoming in an off-the-shoulder emerald satin gown. “You look lovely.”

“Do you think so?” Celeste smoothed her green skirts, self-consciously. As they moved into the other room and the lights touched Celeste’s hair, Ella noticed that she’d stopped dying it black, and the roots were bright red. She’d arranged it so that the only place her true color showed was around her face, and she’d worn a piece of lace formed into a large flower in her tresses to draw attention away, but the outgrowth did look peculiar.

She took Celeste by the hand and led her toward a gathering. “You know Paul Adams and his wife, Celeste,” she said by way of introductions.

The women seemed somewhat subdued by Celeste’s arrival, but when Ella kept her arm linked with Celeste’s and Nathan held a friendly conversation with Paul, they warmed to the newcomers. Ella hoped this was the introduction it would take for Celeste to be invited to join the choir and the women’s gatherings. Celeste was a sweet, sincere woman, and she deserved to feel welcome.

Dinner came off without a hitch, and Ella’s menu was well received. Her spirits were lifted, and her concerns banished until Lena carried a glass of amber liquid to the table. Tom gave her a hard look and moved the glass away from her. She waved him away, reached for the tumbler and drank the liquor. Betsy and Minnie cast her disapproving sidelong glances. Lena had entered into a more respected social station because of Tom, but she didn’t seem to appreciate much about it.

Along with slices of rich chocolate-and-raspberry cake, coffee was served, and eventually the men moved to Nathan’s study for cigars and brandy. The women clustered around the piano in anticipation of Ella’s performance.

“What would you like to hear?” Ella asked.

“How about ‘Camptown Races’?” Lena asked. She’d poured herself another drink and carried it with her. “Why do the men get to have all the fun? They’re in there drinking and smoking, and we’re supposed to be admiring Ella’s gaudy folding screen.” She pushed past Mildred Evans to take a seat on a divan. “It’s a man’s world, and there’s no escaping it.”

Ella grabbed a couple of pieces of sheet music and opened one. “We’ll have a sing-along first. How’s that?”

“That’s just peachy,” Lena said with a lazy sneer.

Celeste and Ella made eye contact, and Ella could tell the other girl was mortified by Lena’s behavior. “Wait until you hear Celeste sing,” Ella told the gathering. “She has a voice like an angel.”

“I don’t,” Celeste denied, and her cheeks turned pink.

Ella played the opening measures of the song, and to her relief Celeste knew the words.

She sang,
“I’m thinking of Erin tonight, and the little white cot by the sea.”
In her sweet contralto voice, Celeste caught the attention of the women and held it.
“Where Jennie, my darling, now dwells, the fairest and dearest to me.”

Betsy hurried to look over Ella’s shoulder at the words and sang along, and on the second time through the others joined in.

“Play something we can dance to!” Lena called from the middle of the room. She now stood holding a drink in one hand and the framed photograph of the Lantry family in the other.

The men joined them then, and Tom had heard his wife’s remark. “We’d better be going,” he said to Nathan and took the frame from Lena, placing it back on the table. He nodded toward Ella. “Thank you for a lovely dinner.”

“Ah, hell, let’s stay and dance at least,” Lena said. She took his hand and placed it on her hip. “Play something lively, Gabrielle!”

Ella’s fingers froze on the keyboard. From the corner of her eye she caught Celeste’s movement as she reached for Paul’s hand and held it tightly. She lifted her gaze to the guests and noted the shocked and disgusted expressions on their faces.

Tom grabbed Lena forcefully around the waist and walked her out of the room. Nathan followed them into the hallway.

Ella wasn’t sure what to do, but she didn’t want to miss anything Lena might say as the couple departed, so she got up and dashed from the room. Behind her the women’s voices droned in murmurs of surprise and disapproval.

“I apologize for my wife’s behavior,” Tom said to Nathan.

“Stop apologizing for me,” Lena said from behind him.

Noticing Ella’s approach, Tom gave her an embarrassed nod. “Thank you for your kind invitation, Mrs. Lantry. Dinner was excellent.”

Ella felt terrible for the man. He’d been humiliated in front of his fellow business associates and their wives. She’d recognized that Lena had developed an attitude toward her and the other women, but obviously Ella hadn’t taken her animosity seriously enough. She and Lena had never exactly been friends, but then theirs hadn’t been that sort of relationship. The women who lived in the parlor house were discouraged from becoming friendly.

“If there’s anything we can do for either of you, please let us know,” Ella told him.

“Oh,
thank you,
Mrs. Lantry,” Lena replied with oozing sarcasm. She escaped Tom’s hold and leaned to grasp Nathan’s tie. She held fast, urging him forward. “And thank
you,
Mr. Lantry. If I can be of any service to you…in any way at all,” she emphasized. “You just let me know.”

Nathan extricated his necktie from her grasp.

“Sorry, Nathan,” Tom said before taking his wife firmly by the waist and hurrying her through the open doorway and toward the street.

Nathan closed the door. He looked at Ella, his consternation plain. “That was strange.” She nodded.

“She called you Gabrielle.”

“Perhaps I remind her of someone.”

“Was there a Gabrielle at Miss Haversham’s?”

“I don’t know where she got the name,” she answered quickly.

“She’s obviously a disturbed woman.” He shook his head. “Poor Tom.”

“Indeed.”

Phoebe joined them then. “That was unfortunate,” she said. “But don’t worry, dear.” She patted Ella’s shoulder. “I started a conversation about the satire that Miss Alcott has been writing for the
Independent.
You can come back in and continue on at the piano as though nothing ever happened.”

Ella glanced from Phoebe to Nathan. “I don’t know. It seems wrong to pretend nothing happened.”

“That’s what one does in polite society,” Phoebe assured her.

“But people will talk about it once they’ve left here. Why not address it and move on?” She glanced at Nathan. “I’ll defer to your judgment. What do you think is the right thing to do?”

He appeared thoughtful for a moment. “Facing an embarrassing situation is uncomfortable,” he said with a nod to Phoebe.

She gave a self-satisfied nod in return.

“But,” he added.

Phoebe’s head swung back.

“I think that Ella might have the right idea in this case. Pretending won’t make what happened go away, and the atmosphere will still be awkward.”

Ella experienced relief and wasn’t sure why. She didn’t care who was right or wrong. She simply didn’t want to make a mistake and cause more harm.

“I’ll handle it,” Nathan assured them and led the two women back into the great room.

Several of the guests turned their attention toward him expectantly.

“Mr. Bradbury apologized for his wife,” he said. “He’s an important part of our community, and right now he needs our friendship and support. Let’s not desert him or look completely aside. I hope we can be available if the Bradburys need us.”