Here With Me (5 page)

Chapter Five

The phone was practically burning her ear as she listened to Kenna babble on and on.  Her best friend had demanded to know every detail about her night with Ryan and Kenna had texted continually until Mallory finally called her during her lunch break.  The cafeteria was noisy as she sat at a table near a window, picking at the salad she’d bought and trying to fill Kenna in as best she could.

“So he kissed you then?”
Kenna’s voice was dripping with excitement as she waited for the answer.

“Yes, he did.”

“And?”

“And what?”
Mallory asked innocently.

“C’mon!  You can’t do this to me.  You know what I mean.  Was it good?”

Mallory sighed and she felt her cheeks turn red as her mind drifted back to the kiss.

“Yes, it was good.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“I think so.  I hope so anyway.  We didn’t really make any plans.”  Mallory felt her mouth turn down in a frown.  The night had ended well.  They
had finished their walk on the beach and he’d driven her home and walked her to the front door.  He even kissed her on the cheek before they said goodnight, but Ryan hadn’t mentioned anything about going out again and she’d been too excited about the date to give it a second thought until Kenna mentioned it.

“He’ll call.  I’m sure he will,” Kenna said and then paused for a moment before continuing. “Did he mention Nate at all?”

Kenna’s voice was not filled with its usual self-confidence.  Instead, it sounded shy and nervous.

“Actually…” Mallory began and paused for a second. “He did.”

“And?”

“It seems Nate fancies you,” she teased.

“He
fancies
me?” Kenna griped.

“He was quite taken with you,” Mallory said and smiled even though Kenna couldn’t see her. “Maybe we can all go out together.  That is, if Ryan calls.”

“Oh, he’ll call,” Kenna said reassuringly.

“I’ll let you know and if he does, we can make plans.”

“Make plans?” a deep voice interrupted from behind.

Mallory turned her head to find Cole’s tall figure hovering over her.

“Hey, Kenna, I’ve gotta go.  Cole’s here.  I’ll call you later though.”

“You’d better,” Kenna said and then the line went dead.

Mallory closed her phone and shoved it in the pocket of her scrubs before turning her attention back to Cole, who was now pulling out the chair across from her and sitting down.  He reached over and grabbed a crouton from her salad.

“What brings you by?” she asked.

“I brought my grandma to get some kind of bone density test at the lab.  She’s going to be a while, so I popped by the ER and they said you’d gone to lunch.  I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.”

“So, what’s Kenna up to?”

“She was just babbling.  You know how she is.”

“Yes, I know how Kenna is.  She never shuts up,” Cole said as he rolled his eyes and then reached for another crouton until Mallory swatted his hand away.

“Hey.  Be nice.  She’s my best friend.”  Mallory glared at him and he shrugged his shoulders in apology. 

“I overheard you and Kenna making plans?”

“You overheard? 
More like you were eavesdropping.”

“I was not,” he said as she continued to glare at him. “Hey, I’m sorry, alright?”

“Fine,” was all she said and continued eating her salad.

“So…are you not going to tell me your plans then?”

“We don’t have any plans.”

“Then what was all the talk about making plans.”

“All the talk?  I don’t believe there was all that much talk.”

“Are you making plans or aren’t you?  It’s a simple question, Mal.”

“What does it matter to you?”

“It doesn’t.”

“Obviously it does.  You won’t stop pestering me about it.”

“Pestering?” he asked with a cocky grin. “I’m just making conversation.”

“Yeah, right.  Just making conversation.  That’s a good one,” she said, taking a sip of her soda.

Cole just looked at her, the smile still spread on his face.

“Fine,” she relented. “Kenna was talking about going out with Nate the next time Ryan and I go out.”

The smile on Cole’s face faded.

“So you went out with him then?”

“Yes, I did.”

“How was your date?”

“It was fine,” she replied, not offering up any details. 

“And you’re going out again?” Mallory was quiet and Cole looked at her with that smirk again. “Well, are you?” he asked again.

“I’m not sure,” she said quietly.

“You’re not sure?  What do you mean you’re not sure?”

“Well,” she said hesitantly. “He hasn’t exactly asked me out again.”

A pit formed in her stomach at hearing the words leave her mouth.

“A little bummed, are we?”

“Oh, just shut up, Cole,” she snapped.

“You’re awfully testy.” 

“Well, yeah, I am when you won’t stop bothering me about it.  I had a really good time last night and I’m a little frustrated that he hasn’t called me yet, okay?  Maybe he’s busy at work or something, but still…” she said as her voice faded.

“Don’t get upset, Mal.  He’s just one of those people
who’s here for the summer and then gone.  Where would it really go anyway?”

“Seriously, Cole?
  Even if that’s true, I really don’t need to hear it from you.  You’re supposed to be my friend, or did you forget that?”

“Believe me, I haven’t forgotten.”  He was staring at her in the way he did sometimes.  She knew what he was implying, but she wasn’t going to feed into him. 

“I need to go.  My break’s almost over.” 

“No, it’s not.  You just don’t want to talk to me anymore.”  The smile that spread across his face was smug, but she couldn’t help but smile back.  Even though he was annoying and persistent and hopeless, he was her friend and she loved him.

“I never could get one by you,” she said, picking up her salad dish and walking to the trash can. “I’m sure your grandmother’s test is over by now.  I’ll see you later.”

Not waiting for him to say anything,
she turned to head back to the ER.  She shouldn’t be worried that Ryan hadn’t called yet.  It hadn’t even been 24 hours since their date.  She always did this and she hated it about herself.  Obsessing about things she could not control would not get her anywhere.  It would only ruin her day and she refused to let that happen.  She’d had a great time and she assumed Ryan had as well.  If, in fact, he had, he would call.  If she’d misread him, he wouldn’t and she would survive.  She didn’t have time for anything serious right now anyway.  And like Cole had said, Ryan would be gone at the end of the summer, so it wouldn’t go anywhere.  She couldn’t help but think it would be fun while it lasted though.

Ch
apter Six

The fun was not going to last.  It had been three days and not a word from Ryan.  He didn’t seem like the kind of guy to just blow someone off.  At the very least, she’d expected some kind of text, which was completely lame and immature, but it was better than nothing at all.  Ryan had seemed like a nice guy, but obviously, she’d been wrong.  She couldn’t help but wonder what she’d done to turn him off.  She knew she hadn’t imagined the chemistry between them.  She told herself it didn’t matter though, although she didn’t dare tell Cole he’d been right.  They hadn’t spoken since that day at the hospital and she could only imagine him gloating if he found out Ryan had given her the brush off.  Kenna knew though and she’d gone off on an obscenity laced rant about Ryan and Nate and what losers they really were.  Mallory suspected Kenna was more upset she’d never gotten a shot with Nate rather than how badly they’d misjudged Ryan. 

Pushing
him to the back of her mind, she went over the Doctors Without Borders application that lay sprawled out in front of her.  It had been in her desk drawer for over a year, but her conversation with Ryan had gotten her thinking about it again.  Her name and address had been jotted on the paper, but everything else was blank, except for the signature.  She’d signed it, pretending that someday she might actually go through with it, even though there was no way she could do it.  Too much responsibility tied her to Kennebunkport.  Still, part of her wanted to do it.  Sighing, she put the pen down on the coffee table and got up to get a drink in the kitchen. 

H
er mom was at work and the house was too quiet.  While pouring a glass of iced tea, the silence was shattered by the doorbell.  She smiled, thinking it was probably Cole.  He hadn’t annoyed her in three days and he was long overdue. 

She took a sip of the tea before mak
ing her way to the front door and froze when she realized it wasn’t Cole.  It was Ryan and she suddenly became self-conscious of the old sweats and University of Maine t-shirt she was wearing.  Her hair was pulled up into a sloppy ponytail and she cringed at how she must look.

“Hi Mallory.”
His voice was warm and thick and she’d spent the last three days telling herself she hadn’t missed it, but hearing it again told her otherwise.

“Hey,”
was all she said, not knowing what else to say.  She couldn’t even tell if she was smiling or not.  She hadn’t expected to see him again so her reaction was all involuntary. 

“You look surprised to see me and I don’t blame you,” he said quickly and Mallory nodded.

“To be honest, I am.”

He seemed to wince and he looked
away before returning his eyes to meet hers.

“I’m sorry.  Can I come in and explain?”

Nodding again, he stepped inside, his hands buried deep in his pockets. 

“Can I get you something to drink?” she offered, but he shook his head.

“No, thanks.  I’m good.”

Walking over
to the couch, she sat down and began straightening up the papers scattered on the coffee table.  Ryan sat down and glanced at the pile.

“Doctors
Without Borders?  You’re going to pursue it?” he asked.  He was smiling and she shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know.  O
ur conversation got me thinking about it.  I’ve had the application forever.  I was just looking it over again.”

“You didn’t get very far,” he said, the corners of his
mouth turning down in a frown. “Your name and address?  That’s all you’ve done?  Oh, wait,” he said, pointing towards the bottom of the paper. “You managed your signature too.”

She
just turned and stared at him.

“What business is it of yours anyway?”

He nodded.

“It’s not.  I’m sorry.”

The room grew quiet and seemed to stay that way forever until he finally broke the silence.

“I thought after three days, a phone call wasn’t enough,” he finally said and she adjusted herself on the cushion of the couch.

“I was wondering what happened to you.  I just figured you weren’t that into me,” she said, the boldness surprising her. 

“No, that definitely wasn’t it,” he said, shaking his head. 

“Like you said though, it’s been three days.”

“I’m sorry, Mallory.  Something with work came up and I had to go out of town suddenly.”

“And you forgot your phone?”

“No.  I…it’s complicated,” he stammered.

“Phones aren’t complicated.  You pick it up, push some buttons, and call.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Then explain it to me.  We had a nice time and then you vanished for three days.”

“I can’t.  I wish I could, but, I can’t and I’m sorry.”

“You can’t explain?” she asked as her face twisted in confusion as he shook his head. “I don’t get it.”

“It’s work and like I said, it’s complicated.”

“Then why did you come by?” she demanded.

“Because I didn’t want you to think I didn’t have a good time or that you’d done something wrong.  I didn’t want you to think I didn’t like you, because I do.”

He looked confused and she didn’t understand why he was being so cryptic. 

“At least I’m not as crazy as I thought,” she said quietly.

“No, you’re not crazy.  The other night with you,” he said, pausing before cautiously taking her hand and holding it gently. “I haven’t had that much fun in a long time and I felt like such a jerk not calling you, but please believe me when I tell you that’s not how I wanted it.”

“You’re not making any sense,” she said, pulling her hand from him.

“I know and I don’t expect you to be okay with me blowing you off for three days, but I hope you can forgive me and believe me when I say I’m sorry.”

She just nodded and leaned back on the couch, tucking her foot under her leg.  Ryan shifted nervously on the cushion and then sighed.  He swallowed hard and she could see his throat bounce as he did so. 

“I know you’re sorry,” she said.  It was apparent he was regretful.  It was spread all over his face.

“I wish things could be different,” he said and her ba
ck stiffened at his statement. “My life is complicated right now, Mallory.  It’s not a good time for me to be building any new relationships.  I never intended to come to Maine and meet anyone, let alone meet someone like you.  I came here for work.  Period.  I never should’ve gone out with you because I knew it couldn’t go anywhere,” he said and Cole’s words echoed in her mind.  She hated that he’d been right.

“So, you came here to tell me we can’t go out again,” she stated simply. 

“Yes.  I thought I owed you that much after the other night.”

“Well, I appreciate that,” she said, her voice laced with sarcasm to mask the hurt she was trying to push aside.

“I’m sorry,” he said again and she just nodded.

“Yeah, you’ve said that quite a bit since you got here.  I get it.”

She stood up and walked towards the door, wordlessly encouraging Ryan to do the same.  He stood up slowly and made his way across the room until he was standing next to her.  His eyes locked with hers and she wished he’d just leave.  There was a lump forming in her throat and she swallowed hard to get rid of it.

“I’m really glad I ran into you that day on the beach.” He was smiling and even though she tried to fight it, she smiled too.

“Take care, Ryan,” she said.  He nodded and smiled at her before leaving.  Resting against the doorjamb, she watched him get into his Jeep and drive away.  She closed the door and walked slowly back to the couch.  Why hadn’t he just stayed away?  Being ignored was easier than hearing he’d liked her and yet wouldn’t go out with her again. 

Her eyes drifted to the application, which was now sitting in a nice, neat pile.  Getting out of Kennebunkport was suddenly sounding even better.