Here With Me (Paloma's Edge) (4 page)

“Classical Humanities is my major.”

She lowered her eyebrows. “Are you back in school to get another job or advance your career?”

“I always wanted to have a college education. When I was a kid, I’d had an interest in Greco-Roman studies. And I love to draw. One of my old friends in treatment had talked about this tattoo school near our treatment facility and I’d gotten into it to pass the time. I don’t wanna do anything else, but I like to learn. In and out of the classroom.”

“The drawing you did of Beth on her birthday cake was special,” she said. It surprised and irked me that her opinion mattered to me. Why the hell did it?

Once we were done eating, Mariska said, “I’ll tell Jill that you came to see her.”

“Blanca gave me Jill’s number, so I’ve go
t it, but thanks for offering.”

Chapter 5

Hunter

“YOU CAN SEND A congratulations card like most people do.” Chase paced back and forth in my living room later on that night. Beth sat on my couch with Riley resting on her lap, stroking her fingers on her head. Riley didn’t seem to care that Chase was a little agitated, only that Beth continued her ministrations. Most of the time, when the three of us had spent time together, it’d been at my house.

Narrowing her eyes at him and softening her tone, so that Riley didn’t get frightened, Beth replied, “Gregory and I didn’t end our relationship on a bad note. It’ll be a nice welcome back home party for them.”

Chase’s eyes flew over to me and I neutralized my expression. Beth had told me that her mom’s promiscuity had made growing up in her hometown, Franklin Parks, difficult. Besides Jake and Mariska, Gregory had been the only other person around their age to befriend her and they had become girlfriend and boyfriend. Chase didn’t want Beth anywhere near most of the people in Franklin Parks, but I also knew that he didn’t want her to see Gregory.

“Babe, I don’t mean to be harsh, but I think he invited you because he knew that everyone was invited and you’d find out.”

Grumbling, Riley peeked one eye open and looked up at Chase when Beth stilled her hands on her back. “Gregory went out of his way to call me himself,” she explained. “We were friends first. I wanna see him and Maxine.”

“Why do you wanna see him, if he’s in your past? Why do you care about his wife?” he countered with a swift intake of his breath. As Beth resumed petting Riley, I got up to go to my room.

“Stay,” they both said in unison and Riley shot her head up.

“Keep your voices down.” I shifted my gaze to Riley. “You’re putting her on alert, because you’re both hard-headed.”

Beth planted a kiss on the back of Riley’s head, which seemed to pacify her. Snapping her head back to Hunter, she raked him with a sharp look. The old Chase wouldn’t have gone through any grief over a woman. But his feelings had been invested in Beth from the jump and there was no turning back for him. Or for her. It was hard enough for me to stay clean; I couldn’t handle a relationship too. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to have someone in my life, because my relationship with being abstinent would always have to be the priority. There was no compromise with that. I’d be setting myself up for failure. It wasn’t like anyone would ever really want to be with me. It was a burden for someone else to worry about being a possible detriment to my recovery. That was if I were with someone who didn’t want me to use.

“That’s not what it’s about, Chase! He wants to see how I am. That I’ve moved forward. Ignoring him and the person who he is starting out his life with is cruel.”

Blowing out a frustrated breath, Chase stabbed his fingers in his hair. “You’re being cruel to yourself by going to Franklin Parks. Especially when I can’t be there.”

“Jake and Mariska will be with me. You can’t brush Mr. Penverick off because he’s been a loyal employer of yours. I’ll leave if it gets hostile,” she tried to reason as she started to gently scratched Riley’s belly.

Chase sank down on the couch beside Beth. “I don’t want him seeing you and having any wayward feelings.”

The sound of Beth’s laugh was full and throaty. Chase didn’t look entirely convinced that he had nothing to worry about when it came to her ex-boyfriend.

I kept my eyes on my girl when I told Chase, “Give me the remote, so we can see whose closer to being the Ink Master.”

Mariska

“READ ME ONE MORE story, please,” Pete implored on Sunday night. Mom was working the night shift at the hospital near Franklin Parks and Dad was home more often than he had been this summer. I’d looked after Pete as much as my parents had growing up and in the beginning, I’d resented them for making me do it. Along the way, I’d cancelled dates and hanging out with Beth and Jake, in favor of being with him. Since he had an easier time with his speech, he preferred to be with his friends. I knew the day would come, but I hadn’t thought it’d be so soon. Not too long ago, I’d been his only friend.

“One more,” I said in a stern tone.

“No,” Dad said as he widened the door and the light from the hallway filled Pete’s room. “Next time, you’ll read Mariska the story and practice on your pronunciation. The speech therapist said that you read monotone.”

“Yes, sir,” Pete replied.

“You’re not too big to give me a hug now, are you?” I asked Pete as I raised my body up from his bed.

Pete glanced at Dad before he came over to give me a brief hug. “You won’t ask me to do that in front of my friends like Mom and Dad do, will you?”

“When have I ever hugged you in front of your friends?” I asked him and Dad chuckled.

“When are you coming home again?” Pete asked, settling back into his bed.

“She’ll be here after her midterms. Sleep. Now,” Dad ordered and Pete complied. I’d tried that with him and I hadn’t had the same results.

***

TEN MINUTES LATER, DAD and I were at the family table in the living room drinking rich Columbian coffee. He knew that when I arrived back on campus I’d be hitting the books again.

“How many boys have asked you out?” Dad queried with confidence. He’d scared most of my dates in high school. I’d had to meet up with Beth, Gregory, and my date at a different location when I’d had a second group date.

“This guy named Scott.”

A skeptical look flitted over his face as he followed my gaze to the fridge. Pete earned himself a whole bunch of stickers for good behavior and academic milestones. He was adapting to my absence without a problem. I felt a little left out of the family, but I wouldn’t admit that. Dad would tell Mom and she’d tell me that I should’ve stayed home when I haven’t second-guessed my decision once.

“Only Scott?” Dad cocked his head. “What kind of boy is he?”

“A senior, and the quarterback of the football team.”

Dad frowned. “Mariska, he’s older and I am sure he’s been around the block plenty of times. You’ve been on some dates, but you’re in college now. It’s a different culture from how we do things here. Have you two gone on a date by yourselves?”

I shook my head no.

“Take him out with your friends. If he isn’t willing to do it the old school way, then he won’t be taking you anywhere.”

“Yes, Dad.”

***

THE FOLLOWING SATURDAY, I
was in Franklin Parks again with Beth, Jake, and Scott for Gregory and Maxine Wright’s wedding celebration party. We were allowed to bring one guest with us. Scott had asked me during lunch and he’d also waited for me after our Biology classes this week to set up a time for us to go on a date. He hadn’t looked too thrilled about a group date, but I’d told him we’d be alone for our second date. Tonight, everyone had a date. I didn’t feel like the odd one out.

Beth and Gregory had dated in high school. Beth had broken up with him, because she’d thought that they needed to see other people. The only people who ignored Beth were Mr. and Mrs. Baxter. For most of the year, Beth’s mom, Cindy, and Mr. Baxter had had an affair and, as far as I knew, it was over.

Jake and Beth talked to Gregory and Maxine, despite the frosty looks from some guests. Beth wasn’t deterred from being here. I’d taken my final exam for my accelerated Stats course earlier this morning and I felt confident about it. Jennifer and I had reviewed each other’s work most nights at the library and I’d done well on the practice exams.

“I am going to get some soda,” Scott told me with his eyes trained on the table filled with food. “What do you want me to get you?”

“Some mozzarella sticks,” I answered from the chair I was sitting on, as I kept my purse on his chair.

Unconsciously, my mind drifted to Hunter and how much I’d enjoyed talking to him. Oddly enough, I hadn’t seen him since we’d had lunch at my job. Beth had only brought his name up in passing and that was when Chase and her had been talking in our room. Tom, a former classmate and co-worker of mine sauntered toward me with his uncle and aunt, Steve and Francine, who had been my former bosses for four years.

“Hey! How’s it going?” I welcomed Tom as he awkwardly braced his hand around my waist as I hauled myself up. An attractive female, with sunflower blonde hair that I recalled had been a junior at our high school stood in the middle of Steve and Francine.

“Great,” Tom responde
d and I nodded my head at them.

When Scott approached us, the girl propped her hand on Tom’s foreman and I titled my head to face him. Jake was talking to Suzie and Chloe, two girls who he had a night of fun with, prior to starting school at UM.

After I introduced Scott to everyone, Tom said, “This is my girlfriend, Rachel.”

Her eyes caught mine and she basked in being recognized by him with the title. A wave of relief crested through me. Earlier in the summer, Tom and I had gone on a date and we’d shared two kisses that had sealed our platonic fate. He’d been so helpful when I’d worked alongside him at Luigi’s that I’d thought we’d be compatible in other areas.

“Send Janet, Patrick, and Pete our love,” Francine said.

“They wished they could’ve been here to see you, but Dad’s watching Pete tonight and Mom was scheduled to work tonight.”

Francine gave my hand a squeeze and they spread out into the crowd. After I finished my mozzarella sticks, and Scott had eaten his slices of pizza, I could actually see Gregory and Maxine, since guests weren’t swarmed around them anymore.

“It’s really great to meet you,” I told Maxine.

A small smile played over her face. “Likewise. Thanks for coming.”

Jake steadied his arm around my shoulder and Beth looked at ease as she stood beside Scott. “When are you guys heading back to Maine?” Jake asked.

Gregory brought his hand to his forehead. “Tomorrow. At five in the morning, for our seven fifteen flight.”

“Have a safe flight, and, again, congrats,” Jake said.

Beth and I echoed Jake’s words and Scott thanked them for letting him attend.

***

SCOTT AND I WERE on the bench located on the same block as our residence hall, after we’d arrived back on campus. Beth and Jake had gone inside when they knew that I felt comfortable spending time with him alone. The sound of loud music and chatter from the windows of the dorm rooms was a complete contrast to the mellow celebration we’d enjoyed for the night.

“Mariska,” Scott whispered and clasped his hand on top of mine confidently. “Are you free this Friday?”

“Pick me up at eight.”

His hand ventured from my arm and traveled upward until he cupped my chin, the blue in his eyes glimmering. He’d been sociable and everyone had seemed to like him at the party.

Chapter 6

Hunter

“
YOU NEED TO GET another box of condoms,” Annette announced just outside of my bedroom. Layers of my clothes crumbled up on the living room floor and I listened to Riley sniff them. Annette had already brushed her raven black hair into two pig-tails and she was in a new shirt she’d carried with her, the same jeans and sneakers she’d had on yesterday night. After pulling all-nighters last weekend to finish my research paper, I felt like a zombie.

I nodded. “Did you take her for a walk?” I liked to walk Riley in the mornings, since I spent most of my time with her on the nights and weekends.

Annette’s lips curved into a self-satisfied smile. “You earned it! I won’t charge you for it.” I swung my legs over the bed and pulled myself up from the bed. I shot her a glance as I passed through the door.

We’d fucked in the living room on and off all morning long, but between breaks I couldn’t stop thinking about Mariska taking Scott to her hometown for her friend’s party. I’d thought about how far their date might have gone and if they were going to have a second date. I hadn’t asked Beth, though, when she’d brought it up earlier this week.

Annette was conveniently in this area at one o’clock this morning. We’d started messing around two months ago, when she’d become Riley’s dog walker and sitter. When I’d asked the shelter if there were dog-walkers they’d recommend, they’d given me a list of known dog-walkers and sitters in my area. Annette had been on the list. She and I hadn’t laid down, held each other, or cuddled. None of that shit. My concern was that Riley was thriving while under her care. And we hadn’t had to set ground rules.

***

“HEY HUNTER,” VINCE ASKED me as he entered my tiny space at the back of Lasting Impressions. “I feel like I’ve been glued to my chair lately. How you been?” He was a short guy with curly black hair and had ink from his neck to his toes in different colors, textures, and styles. His specialty was abstract Asian inspired designs and I aimed to one day emulate some of his techniques.

“Alright. Doing my school thing.”

He shook his head. “With the school breaks and holidays coming up, the phones have been ringing off the hook. And then we got to handle the walk-ins ‘cause they’ve been giving the best business and referrals.” He pulled in a deep breath. “You still got Riley?”

“She’s a member of my very small family.” I tipped my chin up to him. “Clarissa still like that poodle you got her?”

“Yup, and the kids can’t get enough of Mimi either.”

“You told
me the poodle’s name was Enzo.”

“It was.” He squared his shoulders. “When you’re outnumbered by one woman and two little women in training, everything is up for negotiation.”

“There’s time to turn them over to your side, Vince,” Manny said in his booming voice. “You can’t be letting ‘em pull them sad puppy dog eyes on you. That’ll getcha every dang time.” Manny’s gaze veered to me. “You got a walk-in.”

I was getting ready to go home, shower, and get some work done at my school’s library. Nothing about the library made me want to relax. It inspired to get my work done, so that I could go home and chill.

Ari stood behind Manny with a wide grin on his face. “How’d you get here by yourself?” I questioned him and he tucked his black and red hair into a ponytail.

The black leathers and combat boots were his signature style, but many dudes tried to dress like him and looked like dorks. He was one of the lead singers of Tainted Virtue, a country and rock band from Georgia. We’d met five years ago when we were patients at an inpatient treatment facility. People had known that he was in a band, but they hadn’t cared. Over the years, we’d stayed in touch, as much as we could, given his busy life. I didn’t have to talk to him daily to know how he was really doing. We called each other on our shit when it was necessary.

“No more customers in here for tonight; we got the shop closed just for him,” Manny said to me, and he left Ari and I were by ourselves in my room.

Ari hummed to himself and bobbed his head to a beat that was germinating in his head, after my area was cleaned and I put my disposable gloves on. I pointed to the new tattoo on his arm.

“What’s that supposed to be?” I tried to smother my laugh. I’d inked the swirls and the symbols on his shoulders and arms two years ago out in California.

“A python.” He shook his head.

“The shading is jacked up. It looks like a damn lizard. And the lines aren’t clean either. You want a cover up?”

“I want an embroidered band with a compass in the middle of it. Can you do that all tonight?”

I finished Ari’s new tattoo late into the night and rolled my chair away from his. I could tell his arm was a little sore and stiff, but he wouldn’t admit it. He was a very particular dude and he only wanted the ointment I’d given him to soothe his skin. Besides us, Manny was the only person left in the shop.

“How are Sage, Renner, and Austin doing?”

Ari’s easy carefree expression vanished and became strained. “They’re good. They’re in Georgia right now. That’s where our show is at.”

“And you’re here. You’ve done shows with a fever. I know you wouldn’t miss a show—for a cover-up.”

He avoided my eyes. “This weekend I slipped up,” he chocked out and gazed at the ceiling with dampened eyes. There was relative silence for minutes and my chest tightened for him. He had come a long way from the dude who had been apathetic about his future after we’d come out of our detox phase at our rehab. Sage, Renner, and Austin had saved him from himself; the self-destructive fiend that lurked in him. They’re the reason he pulled through treatment and committed to staying clean. “A groupie came to my room Saturday night,” he gulped through a dry throat, “and she took out a bottle of Ox from her bag. I was a goner; I didn’t try to refuse. The guys came yesterday morning, and got the hotel manager to open up my hotel room. I was given an ultimatum from them; I shape up— or they’ll give me a settlement, since I co-wrote and co-produced most of our songs, but…but that’s it. I’ll be washed up for real.”

“Remember when I relapsed?”

“But it’s not the same. That was back then. You’ve been on the up and up since, right?”

“Yeah, but I’ve gone to bars, been at people’s houses where they had everything an addict like me wants. Being too chill is a precursor for going under.”

“You sound like an addiction’s counselor,” he said with a dry laugh.

“Damn, I did. Didn’t I?” I exhaled a harsh breath and stared at him. “There’s an open narcotics meeting at eleven thirty.” I looked at my watch. “We can make it.” Ari hauled himself from the chair after I stood up. “And there’s this burger joint we can go to afterward. Where you going to be at?” I put my leather jacket on.

“The Holiday Inn.”

“You checked in?”

“I came straight from the airport. Manny put my shit in his closet, since it’s small in here.”

I nodded. “Stay at my house. You’ll get to meet my new dog, Riley.”

Mariska

Beth:
Going to be at Chase’s tonight =) 

Me:
See you in the am
.

AFTER I TEXTED BETH, I put my phone back into my bag, and looked around the library. For three days, I hadn’t run into Hunter. I remembered that he had classes on Monday and Thursdays. On Monday, I’d found out that his class had been cancelled when I’d passed by his classroom before I’d driven to work. Man, the library was practically empty this evening. My thoughts dashed back to Hunter’s rare charismatic grins and tall, strong build. When I’d first seen Chase in person, I thought that Beth had hit the jackpot, but Hunter had this presence about him that couldn’t be ignored.

As I exited the library, I heard my name and spun around, ungracefully colliding into Hunter. Laughing, he stilled my arms and shook his head. He’d cut his hair. I used to prefer guys to have short hair and dress formally, but I wished he hadn’t cut his hair. I looked at his shirt, slacks, and leather shoes, feeling like I was in front of a different guy. Why had he changed his look so drastically? Was he trying to be like Chase? He wasn’t wearing his leather jacket, or his jean jacket. His appearance was conventional, but the way his eyes lingered over me was anything but gentlemanly.

“I’ve been in that library since I finished my class this afternoon,” he said.

“Oh.”

“I got there just in time to get a table to myself. The party must have gone smoothly, ‘cause I didn’t hear anything from Chase.”

We were down the flight of stairs when I said, “Or it could be because no one’s seen you. Have you been at Lasting Impressions all week?”

“It’s been weird not seeing me, hasn’t it?” he asked and I was secretly happy that he and Jill hadn’t had the chance to go out together.

“Yeah,” I answered. “I’ve gotten back my appetite.” We started walking toward my residence hall.

“A friend of mine relapsed,” he told me in a serious tone and I reached for his hand, disliking the troubled expression that clouded his face. It was then that I knew how much older he was than most of us in terms of his life experience. While Hunter was as striking as the day that I’d met him, I’d missed some of the holes in his face and the sealed skin on his earlobes where he’d once worn earrings.

“Is your friend getting help?”

Hunter made a gesture in the affirmative. We quietly strolled until I sat down at the same bench where Scott and I had sat at on Saturday. I wanted to know if Hunter was really all right and if his friend’s setback was triggering him to relapse. God, I hoped that wasn’t the case. I wouldn’t even know what to do about that. Would Beth and Chase know what to do? Beth had told me that Chase just stopped smoking pot without getting professional help. Were alcohol and cocaine harder classes of drugs to kick?

“He’s in a thirty day inpatient program now. I’d driven him there at four this morning.”

Hunter’s frown deepened as he glanced down at my hands over his. I dropped my hand from his, settling it on the scant space between us. “Have you talked to Beth about it?”

“It’s been a hectic twenty-four hours, so I haven’t. The first thing I did after I dropped him off was shower and get dressed for my class presentation. I didn’t think I would’ve been able to do that and Dr. Mastrangelo wouldn’t have thought twice about deducting points because I didn’t come to class looking the correct way today.”

As I studied him, I wanted him here with me unless he preferred to be by himself. “I have some soda upstairs,” I told him. “You can tell me more about it…if you’re okay with it.”

***

WHEN WE WERE ON the second floor, I glimpsed around the hallway as I turned the key into my dorm room. I didn’t think that Hunter would’ve come up with me. I’d been afraid that he’d wouldn’t.

Hunter took a step closer and I could smell the light scent of his detergent and the gel he used to shape his thick newly short brown hair. He lifted my chin, and murmured my name, making me meet his gaze. “If you wanna back out now, just say the word. We can talk another time. I know you’re trying to be nice.”

I gentled into his grasp as he caressed my face for a split second. I turned the knob and pushed the door open. When we were inside, Hunter flipped on the light and I set my tote down by my bed, where my tie-dye pajamas were folded. Hunter moved down on my desk and I opened the fridge, feeling the breath I’d been holding in rush over my lips.

“I’ll take the Ginger Ale.” I poured him some in a plastic cup, and saw that Hunter looked less forlorn than he had when he’d told me about his friend. He took his drink from my hand and resumed his spot on my desk chair.

Hunter’s eyes roved over my legs when I sank down on my bed. He drank from his cup, his throat and arms lined with muscles. Warmth flooded between my thighs and my nipples tightened to achy points. I pulled my pillow from behind me and covered the front of my body, hoping that he hadn’t noticed my reaction to him.