"I think you've been watching too many of Jack's old movies."
"Never watched a one of hers," Trag declared. "But Hidar has quite a collection."
"I'll bet those are interesting," Micayla said with a sardonic smile.
"Not half as interesting as watching them with him," Trag went on. "He points out all the women he'd like to fuck. And just for the record, he wants to do all of them."
"Hey, where are you going?" Jack called after them.
"We're riding off into the sunset--er, snowstorm," Micayla replied.
"Well, don't go too far," said Jack. "We've got rooms at the Palace Hotel--recently vacated by Grekkor and his crew. Nice rooms, they tell me."
"I'm sure they are," said Trag. "Just point me in the right direction."
"Never mind," Micayla said as she closed her eyes for a moment. "I know the way."
"Looks like I'll never have to ask for directions again, will I?"
"Probably not."
"We'll make a great pair," Trag said cheerfully. "Me flying, you telling me where to go..."
Micayla choked back a giggle. "What did I tell you about making me laugh?"
"Can't help it," Trag said. He was completely unapologetic. "I love making you laugh and hearing you laugh. Feeling you laugh is pretty nice too."
"Am I going to get to make love with you when we get to our room?"
"We probably shouldn't," Trag said with marked regret. "Guess I should have asked Hidar about that, but it hardly seemed like the time. What if I promise to be very careful?"
Micayla feigned a pout of disappointment. "Not creative?"
"Not this time--although I'm sure I could be careful and creative if I put my mind to it."
"I'm sure you could," Micayla said with a nod. "Go for it."
***
Grekkor's reception, but it turned out to be more of a wake for him than anything--except that no one present was truly going to miss him.
It was a reunion as well as a celebration. The crew of The Equalizer, along with
that of the Jolly Roger, joined in with Trag and Micayla and Veluka's cousins. Ilegret even dropped by for a while. Micayla was feeling much better by that evening and didn't even mind seeing Rodan again--as long as he kept his clothes on.
The high point of the evening was a speech given by Ilegret which proclaimed
Micayla and Windura's innocence and Trag's heroism, plus another little perk that had everyone buzzing with excitement.
"Well, Trag," Micayla said as she handed Trag the document that Ilegret had given her. "Looks like you're not just my hero, but everyone else's too."
"What are you talking about?" Trag asked. "And what the devil is this?"
"I couldn't say for sure," Micayla replied. "But it looks pretty much like a ticket to anywhere you want to go."
Ilegret had done it up right. Covered with official stamps and seals, the document proclaimed one Tragonathon Vladatonsk to be an "Upstanding Citizen of the Galaxy and a Hero of the Highest Order." It was signed by no less than twenty Nerik officials. At least Trag thought they were officials; they had more letters after their names than anyone he'd ever seen--even Queen Scalia hadn't had as many.
"Well, I'll be damned," Trag whispered. "Do you think this means--?"
"That you can live on Earth? Yes, I think it does."
"Yes, but it's from Nerik," Trag pointed out. "Think it'll carry any weight anywhere else?"
Micayla shrugged. "If not, there's always Darconia."
"Speaking of Darconia," Trag began. "What do you say we get married there?"
"And have Shentuk perform the ceremony?" Micayla said with a smile. "I think she'd like that."
"I guess she could," said Trag, "though I don't think marriage is something they actually have on Darconia--at least, not that I've ever been able to tell."
"Did Ty and Kyra ever get married?"
Trag shook his head. "No," he replied. "And now that you mention it, I don't think Leo and Tisana are married either."
"Do we need to be?"
"No," he replied firmly. "There was no such thing on Zetith. When Zetithians mated, it was for life. There was no need for a ceremony."
"You never told me that," she said. "I had no idea..."
"Doesn't matter," said Trag. "We're already mates. The rest is just for show."
"But you did bring it up--even told Grekkor we were getting married--"
"That was more to get him riled up than anything," Trag said. "But I did mean it."
"What about a double wedding with Ty and Kyra?"
Trag grinned. "Want to make sure there's no chance I would ever try to leave you and steal her from Ty?"
"No," she said. "It's just a thought. Kyra might like it."
"We can ask, but I don't think she would." Trag paused for a moment. "Besides, you'd probably want the wedding all to yourself. You should have seen Manx and
Drusilla's wedding. It was a pretty lavish event--Drusilla's friend, Ralph, did all the planning--even though it was on Jack's ship, but I'm not sure all that was necessary."
"We could talk to Shentuk," Micayla suggested. "She sort of prophesied this whole thing, and if there is such a thing as a wedding ceremony on Darconia, I'd like her to perform it."
"And if there isn't, we can always start a new tradition."
"We'll be starting lots of new things," Micayla said thoughtfully. "We've got a whole new population of Zetithians to produce. What we do now could turn out to be very significant in the future."
"Let's see now..." Trag said. "We'll get married in The Shrine of the Desert on
Darconia--won't be any need for you to buy a wedding dress because they don't wear
clothes there. We'll have a big party and then we could spend our wedding night under the stars on the portico--"
"We've done that," Micayla pointed out.
"You see!" Trag said triumphantly. "It's already a tradition!"
***
Trag were not only expecting their first litter, but were also intending to wed, had everyone excited, Dragus in particular.
"I'll plan the entertainment," he said eagerly. "I know just the thing! We've been practicing ever since you guys left."
"I'm almost afraid to ask what it is you've been practicing," Micayla said. "Care to enlighten me?"
"It's a secret," Dragus said with a wag of his head.
"Now there's a scary thought," Trag muttered as Dragus hurried off, his tail swinging wildly behind him as he ran. "Wonder if it has something to do with that video Jack gave him."
"That's even scarier," Micayla said with a shudder. "But we might as well let them have their fun. If nothing else, I'm sure it'll be interesting."
Trag laughed sardonically. "Oh, it'll be interesting all right, but have you ever been to a Darconian event before? No, of course you haven't," he said, answering his own question. "They don't clap their hands or whistle when they get excited; they thump their tails, and trust me, it's loud enough to--" Trag broke off there, clearly attempting to come up with an apt simile and failing.
"Wake the dead?" Micayla suggested.
Trag nodded his agreement. "Even the dead that have already turned to dust."
"Well, apparently Manx and Drusilla had a very nice wedding when they let
someone else do the planning," Micayla said. "And who knows? We might get lucky."
"Yes, but Dragus?" Trag scoffed. "Come on, Micayla! His idea of a good time is to--well, maybe I'd better not say."
"I already know," Micayla said, laughing. "Hartak told me."
"So you see what I mean then?"
"He's not going to do that at a wedding, Trag. And if we're in The Shrine, I'm sure he'll behave himself."
Trag looked doubtful. "I'm not worried about the ceremony," he said. "It's the party afterward that has me worried. Get enough wine into a crowd of Darconians and some of us humanoid types are liable to get squashed!"
***
Micayla's surprise, Windura indicated that Lerotan had an interest in the idea.
"Leroy asked you to marry him?" Micayla exclaimed. "I don't believe it!
Somehow he doesn't seem like the marrying kind."
Windura smiled grimly. "That's not exactly how he put it," she said. "And you're right; he's not what you'd call romantic--though he does surprise me sometimes. He just said that you and Trag might not be the only ones looking to get married."
"That's all?"
Windura nodded. "Not much to go on, is it? But you know how low-key he can
be. Anyway, when you mentioned the idea of Kyra and Ty getting married along with you, that's what he said."
"Not another word?"
"Nope."
"But you're--lovers, right?" Micayla asked cautiously. What with one thing and another, the two friends hadn't had much time to discuss things; the opportunity for a private chat simply hadn't presented itself.
Windura nodded. "Figured that out, did you? He actually did spend the night with me when you and Trag told us not to wait up, and I've been on the ship with him ever since--looking after the kids and such, though they really didn't need much looking after.
Tisana's daughter, Althea... that girl is amazing! You wouldn't believe the things she can do! And Curly really can fly--and land! Even Leroy never complained, and you know how touchy he is about his ship."
Micayla knew this to be true but had other questions that had nothing to do with
scratching the paint on The Equalizer. "So, Windy, tell me, what's it like with Leroy?"
"It's, um... different," she replied.
"That's all?" Micayla was astonished. "For a guy with two tools I'd have thought--
you mean it's not mind-blowing or multi-orgasmic or anything like that?"
"My, how you've changed," Windura said mildly. "There was a time--"
"When I wouldn't have cared, let alone asked?"
Windura nodded.
"Well, I have changed," Micayla said. "I'm normal, Windy. Really and truly normal! Not warped or man-hating or frigid or any of the stuff guys used to say about me.
Turns out the hissing was a good thing--and the purring! Oh my God, the purring! It drives me absolutely wild!"
Windura nodded sagely. "Most Terrans probably don't purr."
"Well, Terran cats do, but not Terran men."
"I'll bet some of them would have tried if they'd known it would make a
difference."
"I'm very glad they didn't. Trag was definitely worth waiting for."
"Happy?"
"Extremely."
"So what are you two going to do after the wedding?"
Micayla shrugged. "Trag wants to go to Earth. Don't know if we'll stay there or not, but I think he only wants to go just because he can. After the wedding, Jack's going to pick up her babies on Terra Minor, so I'll get to meet Lynx and Bonnie and then we'll visit Manx and Drusilla when we get to Earth--and my stepmother. Bet she never
dreamed I'd ever bring a guy home to meet her."
"Too bad you're not all going to be living on the same planet," Windura said wistfully. "It's going to be hard to keep in touch."
"Maybe someday," Micayla said. "But in the meantime, we just need to be
somewhere that our kids can grow up and find compatible mates. Humans seem to be the best choice for that, so we need to live wherever they are."
"There are lots of Earth colonies," Windura pointed out. "You just have to find the one you like best."
"Jack knows them all too," Micayla said with a nod. "I'm sure she'd love to keep us on her ship for a good long while, but Trag--of all people!--seems to want to settle down someplace where he can grow fruit. Would you believe it's his ambition to grow strawberries?"
"That doesn't sound like him at all," Windura admitted. "But maybe we don't know him as well as we think we do."
"He's a puzzle sometimes," Micayla agreed. "I plan to spend the rest of my life figuring him out."
"Have fun."
Micayla smiled. "I believe I will."
***
that her own ceremony had them all beat. After all, what other bride could say afterward that she had married the last known--and totally hot!--Zetithian man in existence, that the ceremony had been performed in The Shrine of the Desert, that clothing had been
optional, and that a hundred Darconian guards had danced the Macarena at the reception?
Probably not very many.
Epilogue
"Any word yet?" Cat asked.
"None," Jack replied. She sat at the helm of the Jolly Roger feeling more despondent than she'd been since Lynx's problems had made her feel so down. They were on their way to Terra Minor, but even the prospect of seeing her babies again didn't lighten her mood completely. "I really thought we would have heard something by now.
Those stupid Nedwuts can't have eradicated all of you! They just can't!"
"I had hoped the lifting of the bounty would bring out more survivors, but if there are any of us left, they may be hiding out somewhere that the message wouldn't reach them," Cat said reasonably. "Remember how isolated Manx was on Barada Seven? He would never have received the news."
"And it's only been a month or so since we--er, I--eliminated the problem," Trag reminded her. "You just need to be patient."
"Patient?" Jack exclaimed. "I've been waiting for this moment ever since Cat and I first met! I've had no choice but to be patient."
"Plus, I only sent that message out right before we left Darconia," Micayla said.
"It will take a while for it to reach all the known star systems."
"True," Jack admitted. "But I still think--"
"Hey, Mom," Larry said as he and his brothers dashed onto the bridge. "We've got something here you need to see."
"In a minute," Jack said. "I--"
"No, really, Mom," Curly chimed in. "You need to see this. Now."
"It's from Lynx," Moe said, handing her the message pad. "You're not gonna believe this."
Lynx's message was brief and to the point.