Hero - The Ambush: Special Forces Romance (5 page)

Chapter 5

Haze

I
followed Leighton home and saw her get out of the car safely. My contract stated that when she was within the gates of her grandfather's home, I was off duty, but I didn't want to let her walk away. It was clear from our one short conversation in the art gallery that Leighton felt everyone was leaving her. I needed to make sure she knew that she wasn't alone.

The one person who could do that was Ian. His car was in the driveway and his regular shoes were at the bottom of the grand staircase in the foyer. I suspected he was out training on the trails around Devlin's estate, but I couldn't go out to find him until I knew Leighton was settled somewhere.

She was restless, not even bothering to glance at me as I followed her. Finally, she changed clothes, and headed downstairs to the exercise facilities. There, she turned on a treadmill, and started running at a punishing pace. I watched for a moment, but her pace never slackened. She'd be there for some time, I knew, until she was too exhausted to think. I'd been there before, and I knew Leighton wouldn't stop until exhaustion drove away all her other thoughts.

If I wanted to find Ian, this was the time to do it.

I ran up the stairs two at a time, and hit the trail behind the formal gardens. The trail ran the perimeter of Devlin's estate, and soon, I ran across Ian doing his second circuit. He wore a heavy pack and boots, training as if he had a drill sergeant behind him. There wasn't a doubt in my mind as to how serious he was about re-enlisting.

“Slow down, soldier,” I said.

“Haze, what are you doing out here?” Ian stopped and leaned down with his hands on his knees. A concerned expression came over his face. “Is everything okay with Leighton?”

I was glad to hear his first thought was for his sister's safety. Leighton might feel abandoned, but she had people who truly cared for her, and Ian was on the top of that list.

“Leighton's fine,” I said. “I came out to see how you're doing. Big decision coming up.”

“Coming up?” He gave me a curious look. “That sounds like something my grandfather would say. I've made my decision already.”

He took off at a fast clip, and I followed, watching the rough terrain carefully. When I caught up with him, he slowed to a walk.

“The doctors really cleared you? No more problems with the foot?”

Ian kicked his boot out and kept walking. “Don't see any problems, do you? I've been on my feet at the construction site for weeks. Concentrating on something else besides my injury made it easier to forget my limp, and now I'm walking normally.”

“That's fantastic,” I said, honestly. “I was worried when I suggested it. It could've really backfired.”

“Don't worry.” Ian grinned at me. “I won't let you take the blame or the credit.”

I laughed, but didn't hide the fact that I was watching him walk, eyeing his face to see if there was any trace of discomfort. While Devlin had pulled strings to get Ian an honorable discharge before he'd gone through everything the army would've required to determine his physical ability, there'd been a possibility all along that Ian wouldn't have gone back to active duty anyway.

Now, I could see that, if his grandfather hadn't intervened, Ian never would've been discharged.

“How about you?” Ian asked. “What was it again?”

“BPPV,” I said. “I have it under control, haven't felt the vertigo for a while.” I didn't mention that the vertigo wasn't the main thing I had to overcome. With the actual damage I'd sustained to my inner ear, I wasn't considered fit for duty. One of the reasons I'd chosen to take this job had been to prove I could handle anything.

Ian turned to look at me, a question at the corner of his mouth. Instead of asking it, however, he commented, “No one can doubt that following around my sister is a test of stamina.”

If anything was going to be a segue, that was it. I decided to lay it all out rather than ease into it. “Speaking of your sister, she's upset you made your decision without talking to her first. She's worried for you.”

“Leighton is worried about Leighton.” Ian stopped and turned to face me. “She picks shit friends, and she's afraid when I'm gone she won't have anyone to depend on.”

I couldn't exactly disagree with him on the first part. “Is it so wrong for a sister to depend on her brother?” I asked.

“No, not at all.” Ian shook his head. “Leighton's my big sister, and we've been through a lot. But I can't stay here simply because she can't stand on her own two feet. I have to live my own life. Away from LA.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “So you're using the army to run away.”

To my surprise, Ian smiled and started hiking again. I fell in step beside him.

“That's not what I'm doing. I already enlisted once, and whatever my reasons were then, this time I know what I'm in for. I'm choosing the army for itself, not as an escape.”

“It's a fine line, Ian. The army can't eliminate your past, and you have to force it to give you a future. You're not planning to stay an enlisted man, are you?” I asked.

There was a moment of silence before he spoke, “No. I've already figured I'll go into communications. You know, make the old man proud.”

It was a nice gesture, but really, it was also a good fit for Ian. And a good way for him to go into the field, I realized. The army was just about the only way he could work in communications without his grandfather taking over his career. Devlin had built an entertainment empire from a humble start with a Hamm radio and a few good ideas. If Ian showed any interest in communications outside the army, his grandfather would take over and groom him for some corner of his empire. Ian wanted to be his own man. Devlin would eventually respect that, I knew. But he was going to be pissed at the way Ian was doing it.

“Have you thought of how you're going to break the news to your grandfather?” I asked.

“Why do you think I'm out here?” Ian asked. “My grandfather isn't the easiest man to talk to. I'm trying to work up a solid enough speech he'll hear all of it instead of answering his work phone part-way through.”

Just the mention of Devlin's work phone reminded me of all the times over the last few weeks I'd found myself in his office. It'd become a daily habit of mine to check in with him. The room itself was comfort. Clean, tidy, organized for a specific purpose and well-used, with nothing unnecessary. Every time I'd stopped by, I'd been waved in whether or not he was on the phone. If I were off duty, he'd pour us each a drink of whiskey.

He liked talking about his work, and I liked to hear his stories about making an empire out of nothing. He also asked for updates on his granddaughter, and I occasionally asked for insights about her, though he told me that he was the wrong man to ask. He'd seen them seldom when they were younger, working most of the time, and I could tell he regretted it. I shared my own experiences with having an absent father, but he and I both knew it wasn't the same thing. My father had been serving our country, each tour his part of securing our freedom. Devlin had been working in the entertainment business, focused on making money. Neither of us spoke about the differences, but we didn't deny them either.

There was one similarity between both of them, I realized suddenly.

“Tell your grandfather you need a purpose, not just any purpose, but your own. For you, it's the army,” I said.

“You really think that will work?” Ian asked.

I caught Ian by the strap of his pack. “How is it I know your grandfather better than you do?”

Ian raised an eyebrow. “He was never around when we were growing up. And then our parents...you know. He was never around then either. He kept working and that was it.” There was no anger or bitterness in the words.

“People grieve in different ways, and some of them throw themselves into work,” I said.

“Yeah, but he didn't take the time to help us grieve.” There was anger in his words now. He pulled away and kept walking. “He never talks about them, you know. He's just let them go.”

I caught up to the young man again. “You've thought about what will happen if you don't come back, right?”

Ian gave me a sharp look. “Why would I think about that?”

My voice softened. “It changes the way you say your goodbyes, it makes all the difference. Trust me, I didn't bother with a few goodbyes before I almost died, and I was haunted by what I didn't say.”

I stopped and looked back at the house. Was that how I could explain it to Leighton? Would she believe me if I told her that I'd seen her in the aftermath of the explosion? Right before I lost consciousness, I'd seen that last moment, her smile, the sight of her walking into that bathroom. I'd been selfish, wanting to keep that smiling image intact. I'd held it in my mind and left, not letting myself consider what Leighton could possibly feel when she discovered I was gone and not coming back.

If I told her all that, and then told her that I regretted that decision almost every day since then, would it make a difference?

“If I don't come home, it won't make much of a difference to my grandfather,” Ian said. “He'll keep working, keep going.”

“After losing his daughter and his grandson?” I asked. I gave Ian a level look. “That might be more than he can take.”

Ian cringed as that thought flashed through his imagination, his grandfather devastated and overcome by grief. I watched him dismiss the idea as impossible. He couldn't even think of his grandfather taking a day off, much less imagining him stopping work altogether to mourn. It was so much easier to think of his grandfather as a heartless workaholic. I liked Ian, but I felt a pang of sympathy for Devlin. This family may have more money than my family could ever dream, but they were fucked up.

“That's what you have to think about when you say goodbye. Say what they might need to remember if it comes to that,” I said.

“Morbid, man.” Ian hitched his pack up higher. “I know you're trying to talk me out of re-enlisting, but that is just morbid.”

“I'm being realistic,” I said. “You have a choice, and you need to think about what it means for your family, not just you. What about Leighton?”

“Leighton? Leighton will be fine,” Ian said, stopping on the path again.

He scuffed his boots and removed an unseen pebble from the treads. I understood why he was so adamant that his sister would be okay. He had to believe it so he didn't feel guilty, so he didn't feel like he should stay.

“What was she like as a big sister?” I asked without realizing the question was on my tongue.

“The best,” Ian answered immediately. “She was always the first to defend me, even if I didn't need anyone else standing up for me. Leighton has a way of making people feel like tiny crawling ants, if she wants to.”

I had no doubt about that. “Why did she have to learn to do that?”

Ian crossed his arms over his chest. “I know everyone thinks she's got it easy. Great looks, lots of money, must be a smooth ride, but it hasn't been that way for her. Everyone wants what she has, so they pick at her. Even little kids at school did it.”

I thought of Paris and that asshole Ricky. Some things hadn't changed.

Ian continued, “One time at school, one of Leighton's friend's mother complimented her hair color. She said it was the prettiest shade of red she had ever seen. The next day, her daughter asked Leighton if she could cut a lock of her hair. She said she wanted to take it to her hairdresser and get her hair dyed the same color. Leighton was flattered, so she agreed. That little...girl cut a big chunk of Leighton's hair off the back, almost all the way to the scalp. Leighton loved her long hair, but had to get a little pixie cut to cover it up. It took her three years to grow it back.”

“So Leighton learned to defend herself,” I said.

Ian snorted. “Except she doesn't. She acts like nothing phases her, like nothing hurts. She won't defend herself because she's been picked at and on so much that I think she half-believes that shit.”

“And that's just making it worse,” I said. My eyes narrowed as I realized I had a chance here. “Does she have anyone who picks at her the most? Any enemies?”

“Taking this whole bodyguard thing pretty seriously, huh?” Ian asked. “I thought you were just doing it until you could get grandfather's doctors to clear you for active duty again. You were the one who gave me the idea to do it myself, after all.”

“That doesn't mean I don't have your sister's genuine interests at heart,” I said.

Ian's eyes widened. “Whoa, wait a minute! Are you in love with Leighton?”

Shit. I hadn't meant for it to come across that way. Except...it was better, I realized, for Ian to assume my interest was romantic. If he knew there was a threat against Leighton, he'd want to stay, but for all the wrong reasons. And he'd be putting himself in danger too. The best thing I could do now was encourage him to re-enlist.

Safe in the army, I thought. The irony wasn't lost on me.

“Does it matter?” I asked.

“Oh, it matters,” Ian said. “You know she has a boyfriend, right?”

“Ricky? He's an asshole.”

Ian nodded. “He is, but they're together.” He sighed. “She claims that Ricky's the only person who really understands her.”

“Besides you,” I said.