Heroin Love (13 page)

“You conniving little bitch. If I hear from you again, it will be a bad day for both of you,” my eyes red in fury, reaching my hand behind me back as a threat.

David quickly reacted pulling his gun out of pants and pointing it firmly at me, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Or go ahead, try it, make my day.”

Smirking at him, “If you do that, you run out of drugs and money. Not a smart move on your part.”

Jess sat up in her chair, placing her forearms on the desk, staring sharply at me, “You think your the only rich guy unsatisfied with his marriage, looking for a hot young girl to rock his world? Your just the only one who obsessed over it and stole it from me. You guys are a dime a dozen, don’t be fooled into thinking she actually loves you. You disappear, she comes crawling back here looking for money and drugs, as if nothing happened. Your dumber than you look I guess.”

“You don’t know anything, leave us alone,” turning around to leave I hear David say something that really hit me.

“The drugs always win Kevin. You will never get her to your side, once the drugs run out, she find the person who has them and that’s who will win. Just remember that.”

“We’ll see you real soon, Kev,” Jess inserted mocking me.

Not turning around to reengage, I pushed the door open defeated. Strolling through the torrential down pour of rain. David was right, when she got sick she didn’t care what was going on or how she got her fix. Rachael needed it almost instantaneously or she would go into a frenzy. I needed to fix her, take her to rehab and get counseling. That was the answer once I do that, we could live happily ever after.

Racing home to share the good news with Rachael and talk to her about the rehabilitation. Speeding down the streets of Sand Dollar Shores, several police cars with their lights on were at the end of the street in front of our house. Rachael was sitting on the front stoop, balling her eyes out, smoking a cigarette. Her face still battered and bruised from David. Two cops surrounded her, writing notes in their notepads as she was talking to them. Wearing raincoats and plastic caps over their department issued covers. The rain getting significantly harder as the storm continued on. Rushing out of my car, my foot landing directly in a puddle as I hopped out of the car. Running up to her I get stopped sharply in my tracks by a firm hand to the chest.

“Kevin Barrick?” The cop asked me.

Looking towards him, I noticed it was the same cop who came here before, “You know it’s me.”

“You can’t go over there.”

“And why is that?”

“She accuses you of sexually abusing her, and shooting her up with heroin against her will.”

Looking at the cop in disgust, “Your fucking kidding me right? Does it look like I would do that?” Looking behind the cop at Rachael, “Rachael! Your joking right?” Trying to push the cop out of my way.

My clothes drenched, the gel from my hair creating a sticky film over my face as the rain continued to beat down on me.

Holding my arm stiffly, “Mr. Barrick, I am going to ask you to calm down and talk to me.”

“I’ll be calm once you let me go and I can go talk to her.”

“Listen, I can’t do that. Can we just go talk by your truck?” Walking me over to my truck. “Look, I know you didn’t do any of this, that’s why your not arrested. This is the kind of shit I was talking about when I was here last time. You will never break this cycle of attention and drama she craves. She will bring you down with her and you will just destroy your life. I can’t let you go over there, just go home.”

“What do you mean I can’t go over there, it’s my house. I am not leaving,” I replied with authority.

“I am doing you a favor. You have two choices, stay and get arrested or leave and stay a free man. The choice is yours,” reaching in his side holster removing handcuffs.

“Okay okay. Fine I will leave,” Giving one final look of confusion at Rachael as she continued to share her story with the cops.

In a fit of anger I peeled down the street the accelerator pushed firmly against the carpet of the truck. The tires screeching as they gained traction on the slick asphalt.

What a bitch! After all I did for her, all I am doing for her, she pulls this shit!’ How could I be so stupid, so naive to think I could help her. And I was going to help her? Make a better life for her? I am just destroying my own, I have a beautiful wife, loving family, how could I be so dumb to fuck this up. I flew into my driveway with confidence, I am going to fix all of this, I can fix it all. I am going to run in there, tell Megan everything and ask, no, beg for forgiveness.

Running up to the door, a piece of paper was posted on the front door. It simply read ‘Hope she fucks you good.’ Unfolding the paper to reveal the contents, my credit card bill. The embarrassment and shame of looking at the bill with the furniture line circled in a deep red marker was unbearable. Even the delivery address was dictated on the bill. My eyes tearing up, the drops of tears starting to roll down my face, I taste the warm salt on the edges of my lips. I finally have destroyed everything in my life. Crumbling the paper up in my regretful hands, tossing it on the stoop.

Grabbing my keys out of my pocket to unlocked the door, I feel the reassuring feedback from the lock as the key entered the keyhole. It wouldn’t turn, jiggling the keys anxiously trying to get the door open. I looked down, the dead bolt has been changed, being able to see the outline on the paint from the previous lock. Looking into the window to the side of the door, I was staring into a dark house, with no movement. I ran to the bay window in the front of the house, the blinds were down and closed tightly, only being able to see through the cracks of the wooden slats, there was still nothing. Running towards the back of the house was a sight that snapped me back to reality.

My clothes scattered across the patio, some of them made it into the pool, gracefully floating with the current of the water illuminated by the pool lights. Glass from family pictures scattered across the coquina hardscape. One frame in particular grabbed my attention, a silver dancing heart frame that housed our wedding picture. My face scratched out of the picture beyond recognition, but she looked beautiful. Wearing an ivory strapless fit and flare gown with a flattering draped bodice detail, finished off with a black crystal sash. The full tulle skirt hanging elegantly to the floor. 

Grasping the picture firmly in my hand, rubbing her picture softly with my hand.

“I’m sorry.” A tear dropping off my face landing onto her face. “I will make it all better, I promise.”

Standing, trying to compose myself, I tried to open the slider that was usually unlocked -- it was locked of course. Putting my hand to the glass pressing my face into it trying to see inside. The living room was unlit like the rest of the house, I see Benjamin heading for the kitchen. I knocked softly not wanting to alert anyone else in the house. He recognizes the knock and see me outside, walking over to the door.

“Can you open the door?” Begging him.

“No, Mom doesn’t want you here. We don’t want you here.”

Getting down on my knees placing my hands together “Look, I am begging you, please just open the door. I need to talk to Mom. I’m begging you!”

“Sorry Dad,” walking away from the door.

“Ben open this fucking door,” slamming my hands into the glass fiercely, “open it right now or it’s coming down.”

Ignoring my threat he continues walking away Standing back up on my feet I head towards the outdoor table. Picking up one of the metal patio chairs off to my right slamming it into the glass. The glass splinters inside the film of the laminated safety glass. Lifting the chair above my head giving it another firm strike, feeling the glass weaken from each strike, I continue to hit it harder and harder. My breathe getting heavy, the sweat on my forehead mixing with my tears as I try to gain access to my own house.

In between my strikes I hear a knocking on the glass from inside. Megan was watching me trying to break into the house. Her eyes puffy and red, her cheeks glistening from the streams of tears coming down her face. 

“What are you doing?” She asked calmly.

“I need to talk to you, can you open the door please?”

“No, I don’t have anything to say to you.”

“Megan please! I fucked up--big time. Can I just come in and talk to you?” Smacking the windows with my hands.

In a calm voice, “Kevin, if you don’t leave I am calling the cops,” walking away from the window vanishing in the darkness.

“Megan! Please come back,” crumbling to my knees sobbing, “please come back.”

Laying down on the moist floor, feeling the frigid tiles on my back. I can’t believe what I have done, everyone hates me. My phone ringing in my pocket, checking the caller I.D. ‘Rachael’ reading on the screen.

“Just leave me alone! Stop calling me,” screaming at the phone, “leave me alone,” smashing the phone repetitively into the floor. Pieces flying everywhere, I couldn’t stop smashing it into the floor, my hands bloody, leaving pools of blood on the coquina.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Waking up from the rolling sound of a airplane flying above me. Confused I looked around for a second, seeing the sliding door shattered, a note attached to it. My hands covered in crusty dried blood, still griping my shattered phone. Getting up rubbing my dried eyes trying to acclimate them to the radiant yellow sun, I picked the note off the door.

'Get your shit and leave before I come home. The door is unlocked.’

I slowly rolled the door open, hearing the rollers echo through a noiseless house. I call out to make sure no one was around, I didn’t get a response. Creeping across the living room, I felt like a stranger in my own house, I made my way towards the office. Hesitating, I opened the door cautiously, the room appearing as if a mini tornado ran through it. The computer screen shattered on the floor in the corner, my desk drawers thrown across the room, papers riddled throughout the room. Megan discovered my floor safe, the face was smashed in, an obvious sign she was trying to gain access to it but with no success. The picture of her and I that rested on the desk was torn to pieces. Rummaging through the mess to find the spare phone I had in my desk. Finding it underneath a family canvas photo that was tossed on the floor with a big gash through it.

Replacing the sim card in my spare phone from the damaged one, tossing what ever remained to the floor. Waiting for the phone to power on, I did a once over making sure there was nothing I needed in the office. Satisfied, I made my way over to our bedroom. The room resembled much of a cave, the curtains were drawn, the air frigid, I flipped on the lights revealing, much to my surprise, a perfect room. The black satin sheets neatly tucked with hospital corners, the pillows fluffed and aligned just right. I noticed something twinkling in the light on the nightstand. Her wedding ring, a 4 carat marquis diamond surrounded by pink diamonds laid in rose gold sat next to a note.

‘Maybe Rachael deserves this more than me.’

Reaching into the drawer of the nightstand, trying to find a pen. Grabbing a black sharpie, I turned the paper over to leave Megan a note.

‘
Only you deserve this. Please call me. Love you XoXo,
’ my eyes starting to water again.

The ominous sound of my phone ringing filled the air, it was Rachael.

Kevin don’t answer it.
Look at what she has done to you. Just ignore it, turn your phone off.

I resisted long enough for the phone to stop ringing.

Going into my closet, grabbing a few extra suits that were still in the plastic from the dry cleaners. Putting shoes, briefs, and socks in to my gym bag. The phone chimed ‘New Voicemail.’

Don’t listen to it Kevin, you will get sucked back in. Just go to your office, just ignore her. You don’t need her, you need your family,
’ fighting with myself inside my head. The devil won the battle once again.

“You have one new voice message,” explained the robotic woman.

“Baby, I’m so sorry about last night,” coughing through her words, “I am so sick, Pete never showed up. I need you, please come back. I love you, Kev.”

Her voice pierced right through my heart, a sudden state of urgency compelled me to dart right over there to make sure she was okay. Smacking myself in the head a few times, trying to snap out of it, I resisted. I was going to go to work, I needed to work, get my mind off of everything. I went to the garage to grab me Corvette, don’t want that locked away, I loved that car. Jumping in the car, turning the key, the engine roared as it echoed in the garage.

Maybe I should just sit in here, let the gas fill the air. I will drift away into a peaceful sleep and never wake up
, contemplating an easy way out of this mess. The smell of the fumes started to flood into the cabin of the car, practically coughing my lung out of my chest, I quickly realized that is not what I wanted. Opening the garage, barely giving it enough time, I sped out of the driveway in great haste.

Calmly entering the lobby of Onyx Environmental, my head down in defeat, my clothes in disarray, blood stains all over my shirt and pants, my hair frazzled. Carrying my suits in one hand and my gym bag in the other. Ann got up from her chair in shock, her mouth wide open.

“Oh my, are you okay? What happened?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I am just going to clean up,” walking past her, trying not to make eye contact.

“Let me know if you need anything sir,” she stated cautiously.

Going into the bathroom in my office, washing the dried blood off my hands. Looking up in the mirror seeing the reflection of handsome hazel eyes surrounded by a pitiful disgusting man. The black bags around my eyes were more distinguishable, my face worn. I couldn’t even look at myself, regret festering itself inside of me. Looking back down into the sink, seeing the blood mixing with the water as it swirled down the drain. The cuts on my hands were distinct, seeing the fresh rubbery flesh in the wounds. I removed all my clothes, tossing them into the corner of the bathroom. Throwing water onto my hair trying to get it to a more presentable state.

Removing one my suits from the plastic, a simple dark blue with pinstripes, white dress shirt, and a black tie. Putting it on myself with carelessness, hardly tucking in my shirt. Running my hands through my hair once more, trying to get it to slick back. I was ready to work.

Slouching in my chair, twiddling a pen between my fingers, unable to focus. 

I wonder if Rachael is okay? What are you stupid? Who cares about her, she is killing you? I love her, I don’t know why, but I do. Why is Megan so upset? Maybe because you cheated on her. Yeah, but come on, like she never made a mistake? She is the one who is so distant from me. Your not really blaming this on her, are you?

The thoughts stirring in my head, contradicting myself, blaming everyone else for my mistakes.

“Sir, your wife is in the lobby,” Ann interrupted over the speaker.

“What?! Bring her back,” checking myself in the reflection of my computer screen, throwing papers across my desk, acting busy.

The door opens, Megan walking in cautiously, looking oddly optimistic and presentable. Getting up from my desk to go hug her.

“Stay over there,” she quickly instructed.

“Okay,” I replied hesitantly, “how are you?”

“Cut the shit Kevin. You said you wanted to talk, so talk,” standing with her arms folded next to the door.

“I screwed up. I felt alone, unappreciated, unloved. I stumbled into that place from odd circumstances, and I just fell in to it.” My eyes starting to tear up, “I don’t want to lose you. I love you. What can I do? I am so so so sorry, forgive me please.”

She stood there non-responsive, not a step, not a gesture, nothing. Staring at me waiting for more.

“Is that everything?”

“I don’t know what else to say to you Megan, I really don’t.”

“How about explaining why you would buy a house for a whore? Spend all this money on furniture? Risk our life, marriage, my love, my trust, and your business for a little piece of ass.” Still standing there calmly, she waited for a response.

“I...I...don’t know. When I see her.... I just get put in a trance,” stuttering like a scolded child. “She just makes me feel young again...,” 

Interrupted my Ann, “Sir, I am sorry but can you pick up the phone.”

I put a finger up to Megan, asking for one minute, I see her just roll her eyes.

“What is it Ann?” I said sternly.

“There is a women here asking for you. She looks lost.”

“And who is it?” Hearing Ann ask for her name.

“Rachael, she said you would know what she wanted.”

Shit, is this really happening? I was staring at my wife giving me the evil eye, my girlfriend was in the lobby asking to see me.

“Can you ask him to wait in the conference room? I will be there in one minute,” slamming the phone back into the receiver.

“Megan, please wait here. It is really important.”

“What the fuck Kevin! This is the bullshit I’m talking about. If you leave, I am leaving.”

Placing my hands together as I walk across the room towards her, “Please I beg you. I really need to talk to you. I just need to handle this one client. Please.”

Reluctantly agreeing Megan plops down onto the leather sofa on the wall, “Hurry up.”

Running down the hall towards the conference room, swinging the door open, “What the fuck are you doing here Rachael?”

Standing there in a black leather double breasted trench coat, shiny black stilettos, with her hair in a long braid. “You never came home last night, I need you.”

“Can we talk about this later? I have an important client in my office.”

“I think he can wait a few minutes,” opening her trench coat revealing her nude body, walking over to me seductively.

“Where is your necklace?” 

“That is what your worried about right now? Me standing in front of you naked, you worry about a necklace?”

“I just happened to notice. Where is it?”

“Well Pete never showed up. He got busted, and I needed a fix. I needed to buy a eighty.”

“You sold that necklace for eighty dollars? Are you kidding me?”

David was right, the drugs would always win
.

She just stared me, ashamed at herself.

“Rachael, I really can’t right now. Please,” holding her at arms length away from me.

“Ohhh, come on Kev,” pushing me down onto one of the chairs surrounding the conference table.

Leaning into me, her knee in my groin, kissing my neck. I begin to melt, motionless as she continues to work on me. Her wet lips lightly pressing into me, I feel the coarseness of her tongue rubbing up and down on my neck, her knee oscillating, I feel myself getting erect. Reaching her hand down, I feel her unzip my pants. Grasping my dick firm, squeezing with all her might.

Snapping out of my trance, I push her off of me, “I am serious, I can’t do this right now. Save it for later.” I gave her a kiss on her lips, leaving the room.

“What the fuck Kevin!” Rachael screamed through the closing door.

Standing in front of the office, looking down adjusting my clothes, I let out a big sigh and opened the door.

“Oh good, your still here.”

“Kevin, I really don’t want to lose you. The kids need you, I need you. Just come home please.”

That was a total three sixty, I wonder what got into her. Maybe she finally realized that I wasn’t the only wrong one in this situation. Maybe she just wants me around so she can drive around in her fancy car, with her hair and nails done. Maybe she was just keeping me around for her better good...

“Why do you really want me around?” I snarked

Looking at me perplexed, “Are you kidding me? Don’t turn this around on me. So typical Kevin, you destroy something and try and blame everyone else around you. I want us to work through this, I want to be the one. I want us to be us again. But if your going to keep sneaking around I just won’t have it. And until you get your act together don’t come home.” Megan walked out of the room, not giving me a chance to respond.

“I’m working on it,” I said under my breathe.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

Rachael: Are u coming back? I am waiting

She was still waiting in the conference room? Great!

Hesitant, I walked back to the conference room, firm in my stance that we were going to just talk. Pushing the door open slowly, Rachael was covered up with a look of business on her face.

“Ah Mr. Barrick, please have a seat.”

Chuckling to myself, “Okay.”

“Did you ever receive my picture?”

“Yeah, I have been meaning to ask you about that. Was that real?”

“Mhmm, sure was. What are your thoughts?”

“Well I can tell you I was shocked. I didn’t really expect that.” Not wanting to insult her, “How could I say this gently? How do I know if it is mine? I mean you are a prostitute.”

“Fuck you Kevin. Your a no good cheating husband, I can’t believe I even considered doing this with you.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, but what if?”

“It’s yours, I know it is,” her face still stern.

“Okay, fine. I will accept that for now,” stopping my accusations for the time being.

“So are we happy? Sad? Or what?”

I wasn’t quite sure what to tell her, I really didn’t need this in my life. I wanted to tell her the truth about the situation but I couldn’t break her little heart, she was sitting there glowing in joy.

“I think it’s wonderful,” putting on my best fake smile. “What do we do now?”

Rachael shot out of her chair, slamming it back into the wall, and ran over towards me, jumping in my lap, knocking the wind out of me. Giving me a hug squeezing me hard, I could feel myself suffocating. 

“So what could we name it?”  

“Really,” I said in disbelief, “we don’t even know what it is yet.”

“Oh stop it. What have you always wanted your kid’s name to be?”