He's After Me (12 page)

‘First lesson?’ she prompts.

‘I was here,’ I lie.

‘That’s strange. I didn’t see you in English.’

My blood runs cold. I’d forgotten it was English first thing. Her lesson.

‘I had a dental appointment.’

‘Really?’ She turns back to the computer and opens up the screen again, turning it towards me so I can see it too. It’s a record of my attendance. Or rather, of my absences. ‘And did you have a dental appointment last Friday, period two? Or Thursday afternoon? Or all day Wednesday? Or the week before when you missed double Sociology, three periods of Art and an important lecture by a guest speaker on Flaubert?’

Her voice is different this morning. Accusatory. ‘I’ve been doing a little research, Anna. I can see that recently you’ve been missing a large number of sessions. Can you explain why?’

‘I’ve been trying to catch up.’ I mumble.

‘The more lessons you miss, the more difficult it will be to catch up.’

‘I know that!’ I rub my brow, between my eyebrows where a headache is building up momentum. I can feel her gaze on me.

‘Did you go home last night?’

My head jerks up in surprise. ‘Yes!’ Only I can feel my face burning and I can tell she doesn’t believe me. How does she know, the witch?

‘You’re dressed in the same clothes as yesterday,’ she says, as if she’s read my mind. ‘In all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never done that before.’

‘Yeah, well, there’s always a first time!’ I say. Just who does she think she is? ‘I don’t comment on the clothes you wear!’ I add.

‘You’re not paid to keep an eye on me,’ she says crisply. ‘On the other hand, I am paid to look after your welfare here at college as well as teach you English. It’s my job. It’s important to me that you do well, Anna, that you make the most out of your time here, get good grades …’

‘Yeah, you wouldn’t want me to fail my exams, would you? That would really mess up your league tables!’

She has the grace to look embarrassed. ‘Yes, it would,’ she admits. ‘It would look even worse if you dropped out altogether.’

Dropped out? Who said anything about dropping out? Suddenly I feel scared. She’s not going to give me the push, is she?

‘You’re a clever girl, Anna. One of the best I’ve ever taught. But you’ve got to put the work in if you’ve got your sights set on an English degree at a decent university.’

‘I’ve changed my mind. I think I’ll do Art instead.’

‘Really?’ She stares at me in surprise. ‘Mr Thomas tells me you rarely bother to turn up there, either.’

I stare at the floor.

‘Anna.’ Her voice is gentle now and, paradoxically, this makes me want to cry. ‘Don’t do this. Don’t throw away all your opportunities for some boy …’

Some boy? How does she know so much about me? I stare at her, open-mouthed while the penny drops. ‘Huh! I get it. You’ve been talking to Zoe, haven’t you?’

‘She was worried about you when you didn’t turn up at college this morning.’

‘Yeah, right!’ I burst out bitterly. ‘She chucked me out in the middle of the night!’

Slight exaggeration, but Mrs Hopkins nods understandingly. ‘Zoe explained that you’d had a row and had left her house, upset. She was very concerned when there was no sign of you in English, and confided in me. Nobody else knows, though I was just about to contact your mother to see if you’d got home safely.’

I swallow, grateful at least that my presence here this morning had scuppered that little idea. Mum, for all she liked him, would’ve had a fit if she’d known I’d lied to her and spent the night with Jem. Especially in Dad and Jude’s bed!

And I can’t even begin to think what
they
would say if they knew about it!

Suddenly it all feels a bit mucky. Tacky. Sordid. Though at least I’d got away with it and no one ever need know.

But then Mrs Hopkins says, ‘Maybe it would be a good idea to ask your parents to come in to see me anyway? We could have a chat about your progress, set up a programme to get you back on track before it’s too late …’

‘NO!’ The last thing I needed was for my parents to be informed about how rubbish I was and what a bad influence Jem was on me. ‘It’s difficult at the moment at home. My parents have split up. Dad’s … not here … he’s in New York … working. And my mum’s not very well at the moment. It would only worry her.’

‘Oh.’ The teacher’s face droops with concern. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. That does explain a lot. But I do feel they need to be kept in the picture, before it’s too late …’

‘Look, I’m fine, really. OK, I know I’ve been slacking a bit lately, but I’m back on track, honest. Now I’ve dropped Sociology, I can concentrate on the others and prepare properly for my A levels. Maybe you could give me a hand with English, help me catch up … ?’

Mrs Hopkins smiles. ‘Of course I will,’ she says and dives into her filing cabinet. Five minutes later, I stagger from her office with a stack of notes and past papers a mile high.

That’s my trouble. I’m too good an actress.

Outside, Zoe is waiting for me, hopping anxiously from one foot to the other, arms folded tight with tension.

‘Anna! Are you OK? I was so worried!’

‘Yeah, right. For your information I got chased by some nutter. I could’ve been attacked and left for dead for all you cared!’

Why did I say that? It was Jem – I was in no danger whatsoever. Maybe because at the time, before I knew it was him, I had been truly terrified. It has the desired effect anyway. Zoe’s face is blank with shock.

‘Oh my G—’

‘Yeah, thanks a bunch!’ I say, glaring at her over my pile of papers. ‘And not only did you chuck me out of your house last night, you and your big mouth nearly got me chucked out of college!’

She stares at me in horror. ‘I’m so sorry! I was worried sick about you when you didn’t turn up this morning. And Mrs Hopkins asked where you were and I couldn’t help it, I—’

‘I know, she told me.’

‘I’m sorry!’ she repeats miserably. ‘It’s all my fault.’

‘Some friend you turned out to be!’

‘Anna, if there’s anything I can do to make up … Anything?’

‘Yes there is. Stay away from me!’

I stalk off down the corridor, enjoying the sight of her mortified face. It makes me feel better somehow.

I can’t think about my own role in all this. Not yet.

I’ve got other things to do.

I
t’s my last chance.

So what? It doesn’t matter, does it? I’m going to London with Jem whether I pass my A levels or not.

In the library I sink down into a chair and put my head in my hands. It does matter. It matters a lot. Not for Mrs Hopkins’ sake, not for Zoe’s, certainly not for my father’s, not even for my mum’s.

It matters to me.

I want to be a student. I realize that now. I want to for all the obvious reasons, but also because I actually
like
studying. It’s what I’m good at. It’s just that since I’ve met Jem, life has become such a whirl I haven’t found time to do it.

But it’s not too late. I take a deep breath and start ploughing my way through the notes.

I keep my phone switched off and scribble away madly, trying to catch up on weeks of work. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed. Soon I am totally absorbed, not even noticing it’s lunchtime till Zoe drops in front of me a tuna and cucumber sandwich (my favourite) from the canteen. I ignore her, but eat it later on my way to afternoon lessons.

In French I keep my head down and collect extra work at the end from Madame Cassian, who’s obviously already been briefed by Mrs H. We’ve got a test tomorrow and I’m way behind with revision. In Art I refuse to rise to sarcastic observations from Mr Thomas about my attendance or the lack of it and just get down to it.

By the end of the day I’m exhausted, but satisfied. I can do this, I know I can. Zoe is waiting for me outside the Art room.

‘How did it go?’ she asks quietly.

‘Good.’

‘I’m glad!’ She grins, delighted she’s got a response. ‘I’ll help you as much as I can, you know that!’ She puts her arm through mine, but I shake it off. The thing is, I’m not mad at her any more none of the mess I’ve got myself into is her fault, but I’m not quite ready to let her off the hook yet. I stare at her, unsmiling.

‘If we’re going to stay friends, you have to get over this thing you’ve got about Jem,’ I say.

‘I haven’t got a thing about him!’ she starts to protest, but I interrupt her.

‘Yes you have. You don’t like him, Zoe, I’m not stupid. But he’s my boyfriend and I love him. It’s serious between us. So if you can’t accept that, well …’ I shrug my shoulders.

She bites her lip. Zoe knows me better than anyone. She knows that if I had to choose between them, I would choose him.

‘OK. I’ll be honest with you, Anna, I’m no fan of Jem’s. No, listen!’ she says urgently, as I turn away in a huff. ‘I am a fan of yours though, so I’ll try, for your sake. He must be all right if you like him that much. OK?’

‘Thanks.’ I give her a squeeze. ‘Once you get to know him properly, you’ll love him too, I promise.’ She doesn’t look convinced so I add, ‘Well, you’ll like him. A bit? A teeny bit?’ My voice is high and wheedling, and I’m rewarded at last with a reluctant smile and an ‘Idiot!’

‘Go on!’ I say, ‘Admit it! He’s hot.’

‘Oh yeah, he’s hot all right!’ she concedes a bit grimly, but I let it pass. It’s a start.

I slip my arm through hers and we walk out of college together, buddies again. Across the road I spot Jem waiting for me. As he walks towards me I warn Zoe, ‘Now be nice!’ and she says, ‘I will!’ and fixes a smile on her face.

But it’s Jem who’s not nice.

‘Where the hell have you been?’ he says, glowering at me.

‘College,’ I say in surprise.

He completely ignores Zoe gawping at him as he confirms her worst prejudices. ‘You said you weren’t going to be long. I’ve been waiting round for you all day.’

‘I had lectures to go to!’

‘You could’ve rung me!’

‘Sorry,’ I say, remembering that my phone was turned off. I am so aware of Zoe taking all this in as I attempt to explain. ‘I got hauled over the coals. They were on the point of chucking me out.’

‘So?’

Is he doing this deliberately? ‘Well, I had to get some work done, didn’t I?’

He scowls even more. ‘Why? I thought we’d decided you’re not going to sit your A levels anyway.’

Beside me I hear Zoe gasp.

‘
We
haven’t decided anything!’ I say in a flash of annoyance and our eyes lock together defiantly.

‘Look, I’d better go,’ says Zoe and she dashes off.

Jem mutters something after her. I don’t quite catch it but I can tell it’s not very nice.

‘Don’t take it out on her!’ I snap.

‘Why not?’ he snarls. ‘She’s the one who’s turned you against me. Bitch!’

We’re like two dogs circling each other, ready to go for each other’s throat. Suddenly I can’t stand it any more.

‘Stop it! Stop it, Jem!’ I yell. ‘Why do you do this? Why do you think everyone is against you all the time?’ But I know the answer to this already. He doesn’t trust people, especially women. No wonder, with a past like his. ‘Zoe hasn’t turned me against you.’

‘She wants to split us up!’

‘She doesn’t, she wants to be friends. She’s not the enemy, Jem. She’s on our side.’

He looks sceptical but says nothing. I can tell he doesn’t believe me, but at least he’s calmer. He gazes into the distance for a while, his arms folded tight across his chest, then all of a sudden he groans. ‘I’m sorry, Anna. You’re right. I just missed you so much. Last night was amazing.’

His eyes are so warm and full of regret they melt all my anger away and I put my arms around him.

‘For me too. Don’t let’s quarrel.’

I can feel his lips against my hair, his hands smoothing it down. ‘I love you,’ he murmurs. ‘Come back to your dad’s flat.’

‘I can’t. I’ve got to go home. Mum will be worried.’

‘Tell her you’re staying at Zoe’s again. For the next few days. Catching up with work.’ His voice in my ear is low and insistent. ‘It’s true, you can get it done, I won’t disturb you. And then, when you’ve finished it all, we can spend the night together.’

‘I can’t …’

At this moment there is nothing I want more.

‘Please … Zoe will cover for us. You said she wants to be friends.’ I can feel his body against mine.

‘I’ll have to go home first and tell Mum …’

‘Ring her.’

‘I need to collect some stuff …’

‘There’s stuff in the flat.’

‘I can’t, I mustn’t …’

He takes my hand in his.

‘Anna,’ he says, ‘you’re coming with me.’

He hadn’t expected this. This wasn’t part of the plan.

But that’s the way it always happened.