HH02 - A Reclusive Heart (28 page)

me what she said to you that had you so upset that you actually passed up chocolate."

"She said that you were just using me," she admitted softly.

Nick went completely still against her. "How exactly am I using you?" he demanded as he pulled away to look at her.

"To get my cooperation on this tour," she said, hating the way all the tenderness in his expression disappeared.

"And you believed her?" he asked, not bothering to hide his disgust as he moved away from her.

"Why wouldn't I?" she asked, choking on a sob.

"I don't need to sleep with a woman to get her to do what I want, Jamie, especially a pushover like you," he said, making

her wince. "We both know that it wouldn't take much to get you to do what I want so why the hell would I have to resort to

sleeping with you to get your cooperation?"

She opened her mouth to argue, but realized that there was nothing to say. He was absolutely right. Even when she was

mad at him before he promised to help her with her list she would have probably backed off complaining to Rick with just the

right amount of persuasion. It never took much to make her bend to someone's will and everyone knew it.

"I'm pathetic," she muttered, not realizing just how pathetic she really was until that moment. It was one thing to believe

that everyone else realized they could walk all over her, but quite another to actually have it thrown in her face. She turned

away from him and moved to climb out when he wrapped his arms back around her and pulled her back against his chest.

"You're not pathetic, Jamie. You just have a problem with standing up for yourself," he explained, pressing a kiss against

her earlobe.

"How exactly is that not pathetic?" she asked, sniffling.

"You're not pathetic, Jamie, and you sure as hell aren't the same woman I found crawling on the floor of the men's room,"

he said, chuckling softly.

She cringed at the memory. "I thought it was the woman's room," she explained needlessly.

"So I gathered. The point is that you've come a long way in a very short time, Jamie," he said, moving them closer to the

corner.

"So you don't think I'm a pushover anymore?" she asked too eager to hide it.

"Let's just say that you're doing a lot better about standing up for yourself and for those times that you're not able to you

have me," he said, pressing a kiss to her neck.

"But I don't," she said, sounding sad even to her own ears.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked tightly as he turned her around and gently placed her in the corner where

she could hold herself up by propping her elbows up on the side of the pool.

He placed his hands near hers and he closed the distance once again. "I need you to help me out, baby, and tell me what

else she said that upset you," he said when she didn't answer him.

She sighed warily as she reached out with one hand and ran her fingers through his damp hair, loving the way it felt

between her fingers. "I'm not sure how she knew-,"

"Knew what?" he asked, interrupting her.

As she toyed with a strand of his hair she answered, "That this was going to end when the tour was over."

"And that's why you thought I'd whore myself out to keep you under my thumb?" he asked casually, but there was not

missing the hurt in his tone.

She released the strand of hair she'd been playing with to run her fingers over the slight stubble covering his jaw. "Is that

what your mother did?" she asked, already having figured it out from the comment he made about losing his virginity.

For a moment he didn't say anything as he looked away from her. She thought that maybe she'd gone too far and opened her

mouth to apologize when he cut her off.

"My mother was sixteen when she had me. She was a typical teenage runaway who got mixed up in drugs and sex and had

parents who didn't look too favorably on her behavior. She decided that she didn't need them and took off for California where

she thought she was going to be a movie star," he said, ramming his fingers through his hair as he looked back at her.

"She got mixed up with the wrong kind of people very early on. When she discovered that she was pregnant her and about

five friends who were also hookers rented a three bedroom apartment. They set up two of the rooms to work out of and shared

the third room. When I came along the initial plan had been to give me away, but it was Christmas and most of them were

young kids and thought that my birth was a sign of good times to come so they named me Nicholas," he said with a mocking

smile.

Her heart broke for him as he continued. "They set my room up in the walk in closet off their room and whenever there

was a John in the house they took turns locking themselves up with me until the John left. Needless to say with six hookers in

one house I spent a lot of time in that closet. When I was about four they decided I was old enough to watch out for myself."

"You don't have to tell me about this if you don't want to, Nick," she whispered as she traced his strong jaw.

"It's fine, baby," he said, leaning in to press a kiss against her forehead. When he leaned back he focused all of his

attention on the water between their bodies. "I didn't think much about the women living there walking around naked or

blowing some guy on the couch while I watched my cartoons. It wasn't until I started school and noticed that the other kids'

mothers didn't behave like mine did."

"As much as I hated living there," he said tightly as his hands clenched into fists, "and how I fucking hated it, I couldn't

leave. I always thought, hoped really that my mother would wake up one day and decide to be a mother to me like the other

children had, but she never changed and when I was old enough I walked away and started my own life and never looked

back."

"I'm sorry, Nick," she said, not knowing what else to say.

"Don't be," he said, forcing a smile, "I'm over it."

She didn't think that he was. In fact she was pretty sure that the reason that he worked so hard was to put distance between

himself and his past. She could relate to that. She didn't want people knowing that she was a pushover or how pathetic she used

to be. All she wanted was a chance to live her life without anyone trying to keep her down.

He looked so sad at that moment and she wanted to make it better for him, to let him know without words that he was

loved. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. At first he didn't move and she feared that perhaps Holly was right

but then with a sigh he moved his lips against hers.

"I don't want you to worry about anything, Jamie. I'm going to take care of you," he promised as he gave her the sweetest

kiss of her life.

As good as it sounded she knew that he wouldn't be able to keep his word. As soon as the tour was over he was going to

break her heart and she would be left with unimaginable pain, but she refused to focus on that. Right now she was in his arms

and he was hers. She didn't want to waste a second of their time together since she already knew that it wouldn't last.

Soon the kiss turned hungry and they couldn't stop running their hands over each other. There was really nothing better

than being in Nick's arms, she thought as she ran her hands over his wide shoulders and down his back, enjoying the feel of

hard muscle tightening beneath her touch.

"Up you go, baby," Nick said huskily against her mouth as he pressed one last kiss against her lips.

When he went to raise her out of the water she stopped him with a simple shake of her head. Frowning, he put her back in

the water. He opened his mouth, probably to ask her what was wrong, when she gestured for him to get his butt out of the

water. With an amused smile and a quick kiss he did just that. Once he was sitting on the edge she realized something very

important.

She was kind of short.

Nick must have realized the problem because he lowered himself off the edge until his large erection was at eye level

with her and although that was a pretty impressive sight she couldn't seem to take her eyes off the muscles flexing in his arms

and chest as he held himself up. When she caught his amused smile she forced herself to focus and leaned in and pressed a kiss

to his hip.

She'd only done this a few times, but it was easily one of her favorite things to do for him. She knew that she probably

wasn't very good at this yet, but she was more than willing to keep trying. As she kissed and nibbled her way to the neatly

trimmed patch of hair surrounding the root of the large erection that demanded her attention she couldn't help but wonder what

it would be like to take him to completion in her mouth. Whenever she thought he was close he always pulled away, but maybe

now she'd get her chance, at least she hoped she would.

When she came to his erection she continued to take her time pressing teasing kisses against the hot skin until she couldn't

resist gliding her tongue over it. His low groan encouraged her to do it again. This time she took her time tracing her tongue

over the thick vein that ran along the underside of his thick erection. She flicked her tongue over the tip, licking away the

excitement there before she took just the very tip into her mouth and suckled on it while she slowly traced the tiny slit with her

tongue.

"Aw, fuck," Nick groaned when she took him in her hand and slowly stroked him. The movement pushed more of his

erection into her mouth, but not enough. She looked up and met his hungry gaze as she moved forward and took more of him in

her mouth. He sucked in a breath as he moved to pull away from her, but she refused to let him go, not when she had him where

she wanted him.

"I need to be inside of you," he ground out between clenched teeth as he tried to pull away from her.

Never pausing in her slow strokes, she pulled her mouth away long enough to point out, "You are inside of me," before

taking him back into her mouth and doubled her efforts.

He was panting hard and she couldn't help but love the sound of a strong man like Nick losing control because of her. It

wasn't long before he was slowly thrusting in and out of her mouth. When he became impossibly thicker in her mouth and let

out a sexy growl she knew that she had him. It was confirmed seconds later when he shouted her name and he released that

salty sweet treat that she was beginning to love.

As he pulled away she pressed one last kiss to the tip of the soft velvety head and couldn't help but smile when he

shivered. Her smile quickly disappeared when she found herself suddenly yanked out of the water and in his arms.

Without a word he moved back on the tiled floor until only his legs were in the water and laid back. Just as she was about

to ask him what he was doing she found herself moved up his body and straddling his face. She wasn't exactly sure what was

going on until she felt the first swipe of his tongue and then she decided that she simply didn't care as long as he did that again.

When he gripped her bottom and encouraged her to move she did, hesitantly. She wasn't really sure what to do, but she

decided that she'd figure it out when he slid his tongue inside of her. Her hands as if they had a mind of their own slid up her

damp stomach and over her breasts, pretending that they were his hands.

His grip tightened on her bottom as his tongue went wild inside of her. She pinched her nipples the way he did and she

was surprised at how good it felt. She'd never really touched or explored herself, too shy to even try that, but right now it felt

too good to stop. As she continued to gently squeeze and caress her left breast she slid her trembling hand down her stomach.

The few times she'd attempted to touch herself down there it had never felt good. But the way he was licking inside of her

was making the little nub between her legs swell up almost painfully. It was practically begging for attention and when her

fingertips brushed up against it she couldn't hold back the gasp of pleasure that slid through her.

She watched as his eyes closed to half mast as he watched her touch herself. He looked like he was in ecstasy as he

continued to lick her. It felt so good. She never thought that anything could feel this good. She loved when he touched her,

craved it in fact, but the way he was giving her free reign to enjoy him made every little touch and sensation so much more

powerful.

All too soon she was throwing her head back as she cried, screamed really, his name. She was still screaming his name

when she found herself suddenly lifted off his mouth and shoved onto his newly restored erection. He sat up and wrapped his

arms around her as he took her mouth in a hungry kiss that quickly ignited her need for him again.

Her fingers tangled in his hair as she returned the hungry almost brutal kiss as they ground their lower bodies together. It

wasn't long before she was panting and struggling to hold back, but he wouldn't allow it. He used his hold on her to slam her

down hard on his rock hard shaft as he thrust forward. It was too much, too soon and she lost the battle. She screamed his