Hidden Barriers (6 page)

Lucy slides one arm over my shoulder before she declares, “I love you, Sam, but you really do need to get laid or at least go on a date or something. Not all guys are like Stone. You have to believe that.” This is the one topic I try to avoid. I know Stone is in a league all on his own. I know guys aren’t like that, and I know I need to put myself out there at some point. I’ve used the C-Naughties for too long to hide behind and try to make myself believe I don’t need a guy.

The truth is, I’m scared to put myself out there. If I do and I find the right guy, what does that mean for my derby sisters? They have helped me through so much and have been my rock. I’d feel bad if I ever had to leave them behind.

Rose taps her nails against the tile counter as she thinks silently. Lucy pulls away from my shoulder as she clears her throat before saying, “Why don’t we go ice skating at the College Park pond today?”

Shrugging my shoulders half-heartedly, I reply, “Well, it’s going to be nearly thirty degrees today. We may as well get out of the house.”

Kim looks at me with some apprehension. “Sam, are you sure you should be taking that chance with your shoulder? I don’t want to lose our lead scorer for opening day in another month.”

I jump up from my seat to throw the banana peel into the trash and then head over to Kim’s side. Placing my hand upon her shoulder, I confidently say, “There’s no need to worry about me. I’ll be there opening day, and we’ll beat The Dirty Waters.”

Everyone else goes along with the day’s plans, and within the hour, we are walking out the front door across the street with skates in tow. I think I’m wearing at least five base layers, not including my multiple scarves and hats. Luckily, if any of us were to get cold, the house is literally a couple of minutes away.

The late morning sun is shining brightly off the snow-covered park as we approach. Lucy’s laughter echoes off the vast open space as we find the pond empty of skaters. If this were a weekend, I’m sure we wouldn’t have it all to ourselves. Pond skating is only slightly different from roller derby, but without a doubt, we will end up practicing our jams and body checks. Hence my multiple layers. I already know there is a chance I’m going to go plunging into a snow pile.

While we’re lacing up our skates, I’m the first one done, only because Rose has to tie my skates due to my shoulder injury. My feet hit the rough corners, and the ice below me pops and cracks under my weight. Turning around my skates, I face the others who are still on the bench getting ready. I need to lay down a few ground rules. “First off, easy on my shoulder. I don’t need to end up back in the ER, and second, no booty checks or whips.”

Kim groans from the bench. She’s notorious for whips in the jam pack. Basically, a jam consists of the group of girls in the derby pack. When the scorer, also known as the jammer, comes up from the back of the blockers, one of the blockers grabs the jammer and whips her around to gain speed and score once she passes all the other girls on the track.

It can be fun, but if you aren’t ready for it, you can certainly get injured. That’s exactly how my shoulder became dislocated in the first place. Kim whipped me a little too fast into the steel beam at the practice center.

After skating around the pond for about an hour, we decide to take a break. We brought a couple of thermoses of hot cocoa and snacks to eat. The hot cocoa warms me up quickly. Suddenly, a dog barking breaks the conversation in the group, and we all turn toward the sound.

A huge fur covered dog is galloping in the fresh snow. Noticeably, he’s happy to be outside playing. I wonder where the owner is. Then, a figure emerges from behind a tree, jogging at a steady pace. He’s running toward us, and the dog sprints over to him. Everything is fine until the dog sees us. It appears we are all done for as he lunges for us.

“Aspen! No!” the man yells in a breathy voice.

Aspen. Cute name, but obviously, he’s not listening since he keeps coming for us. Once he finds Rose, he rubs his nose against her legs in excitement. The dog’s owner finally slows his sprint and then walks closer to us. As he approaches, he starts to remove his neck warmer that covers half of his face, and that’s when I see him. My mind starts racing, and words stop processing.

I pull down my scarves from my chin before saying, “Seriously, you again?”

Everyone’s eyes shoot up at me first and then over at the man standing no more than ten
feet in front of me. It would probably be easier to form words if he wasn’t wearing tight-fitting running gear that shows off his muscles on every part of his body, and I do mean
every
part of his body.

I try to step closer, but my skates have other ideas as I lose my balance and begin to tumble forward. Apparently, it’s my month to make a fool of myself. No sooner am I toppling over do his arms extend in an attempt to brace me. As I wince in some pain after my shoulder bumps into him, he gently eases me back to my feet.

He reaches over to help adjust my shoulder sling and then notices all the girls staring silently at him as if waiting for something to happen. Sorry, girls, but the show’s over. You would think he would just leave already, but no. He makes his way over to the girls before speaking, “Sorry about Aspen. He’s my brother’s dog. I’m just kinda watching him for a while. Clearly, I’m not doing a good job. Oh, sorry, I’m Josh.” He reaches out his hand to shake everyone else’s.

It also appears my roommates have lost their voices, so I have to introduce them all. “These are my roommates and teammates, Rose, Kim, and Lucy,” I say as I point to each one individually.

“Oh, so you are all…what was it? Oh, yeah. C-Naughties, right?” Josh asks, laughing.

He remembered?

The sun is shining for the first time in days, and after picking up Aspen from my brother’s place, I decide to go for a run before work.
Damn dog
, I yell silently as I run through the park near the townhouse. The minute I start running I lose track of him, but at least I see which way he heads. Far off over a small hill I notice a large pond. That is, I think it’s a pond. It’s hard to tell with everything covered in white.

The sun might be out, but it’s still winter. Even with a balaclava, neck warmer, and more than enough cold weather compression layers, the winter wind is still biting at my skin. I trudge forward, hitting the sweet spot in my pace. Finally rounding the bend, I see Aspen frolicking in the open field of fresh white snow.

Then, the damn dog catches a glimpse of a group of girls skating on the pond about a quarter of a mile up the path. I can hear their laughter echoing through the open park, and evidently, Aspen does, too. All covered in white, his nose shoots up from the snow. He turns his head in their direction and takes off running.

“Aspen! No!” I shout.

He keeps running, as do I, to try to stop him before he does any damage. I’ll have to remind myself later to tell my brother he needs to get this dog trained at some point. As Aspen is rubbing his nose against all the girls’ legs, I finally catch up, seeing them laugh at his antics. He really is a big ham when he needs to be, and he loves the attention.

I quickly come to a halt in my jog and walk closer to the girls, pulling my neck warmer below my chin so I can talk. I hear one of the girls in the group ask, “Seriously, you again?” My eyes shoot over to her as she pulls down her oversized scarf from her face.

How in the world is this even possible?

I close the gap between us, since the chances of me ever running into her again were slim, but she stands here assessing me with her eyes. Then, it dawns on me that I’m wearing my tighter than normal base layers, and she can ultimately see every angle of my body. I wasn’t exactly dressing for meeting people today when I threw on my running gear. Had I known, I might have thrown on an extra layer to hide my junk. Who am I kidding? It’s not exactly like I’ve been out picking up chicks recently, but I’ll never hide what I’ve been given if it helps attract them.

Pulling myself from my thoughts, I glance around and notice the other girls staring at me as well. The air is thick with awkwardness. The only sounds heard between the stares are Aspen shuffling about and the birds off in the distance. Just as I’m about to move closer, she moves at the same time, losing her balance.

My instant reaction propels my arms out in front of me to grab her before she falls. Shit. What is her name?
You have her damn roller derby flyer still in your work coat, stupid.
Stacey? Sandy? Wait. No, it’s Sam. Yes? Holy shit, I’m bad with names. Yes, I remember Sammy Sweet Cheeks.

Sam flinches slightly, and I suddenly recall she had a shoulder injury the last time I saw her. As I’m about to ask her if she’s all right, I feel the other sets of eyes burning holes through me.

Once I know Sam is not going to fall over, I eye the other girls and say, “Sorry about Aspen. He’s my brother’s dog. I’m just kinda watching him for a while. Clearly, I’m not doing a good job.” I realize these girls have no idea who I am. I continue to introduce myself and extend my hand toward them. “Oh, sorry, I’m Josh.”

None of them say anything until Sam speaks up to introduce them, pointing to each one as she says, “These are my roommates and teammates, Rose, Kim, and Lucy.”

They all smile and shake my hand as I ask, “Oh, so you are all…what was it? Oh, yeah. C-Naughties, right?” I laugh because it really is the craziest name I’ve ever heard.

I look up at Sam to confirm I’m correct, but she just stares at me. Her mouth is hanging open as though I said something wrong. The rest of the girls say something amongst themselves and take off back onto the ice. Aspen follows along with them, obviously not getting into any more trouble as he chases the snowballs the girls toss away from him.

I glance back at Sam. “Did I say something wrong?” I ask.

Sam snaps out from whatever she was thinking about and looks up to my eyes. Her cheeks are raw from the cold, but it doesn’t take away from her warm brown eyes. God, those eyes. She reaches up to adjust her sling, recoiling just enough for me to know she must still be in pain.

“Did you hurt your shoulder again, just now?” I ask as I move closer.

She chuckles softly as her face grimaces slightly. “Not any more than when a hospital door slammed into it.”

Aw, shit. “Yeah, I still feel bad about that. I was having a bad night, and then you were there wearing…shit, I don’t even know how to describe your outfit. I was a little taken back. Normally, I’m more attentive to hurt people. It’s a force of habit in my job.”

“Oh, yeah. You’re a cop, right? Do you work around here?”

“Yeah, state police barracks over in Andover. I just moved up here a couple of weeks ago. I transferred from Boston.”

“So, do you live around here, too?”
“Maybe a half mile from downtown.”

She hesitates as if not knowing if she should say what she’s thinking, but she says it anyway. “You’re close to us, too. Our place is about a fifteen-minute walk in that direction.”

Aspen comes rushing back over, and I realize I really should get him back to my parents’ house and start getting ready for work.

“Hey, listen. I still feel bad for that night I ran into you. Since you live close, do you think I can make it up to you sometime this week? Take you out for a drink or something? Maybe you can tell me more about this roller derby stuff. I’m not busy Wednesday and Thursday.”

She hesitates, and I almost sense fear of the unknown in her body language as she glances back at the girls still laughing and roughhousing on the ice. One of the heavier-set girls, Rose, I think, body slams another girl into a snow pile.
Jesus.
These girls are brutal. No wonder Sam ended up in the ER that night.

“Um, yeah, sure, do you know the little place Vines downtown? If you want to meet me there Wednesday around six, I can do that.”

“Wednesday at six. It’s a date,” I say jokingly.

Was it a date? Could be.