HIDDEN (Hidden Trilogy Book 1) (16 page)

“Here.”  He said, I sat down and was surprised when Cade draped a blanket across my legs, sharing it with him.  He really could be sweet at times.  He handed the plate to me after I was settled between him and Cassie. 

“Thanks, you didn’t have to hide my slices.” 

“If I didn’t, Brody would have eaten them.”

“Would not!”  Brody laughed as he reached for another piece from the end of the couch.  Bree rolled her eyes beside him and reached for one herself. 

“You are such a dork.”  Cassie laughed.  I looked around the group and noted that Hunter was sprawled on the other side of Cade again.  Just like the first night we watched movies together. 

“So, what movie is it tonight?”  I asked.

“Bree has one.”  Cassie piped up before anyone could say anything.  I saw Bree’s face turn a subtle shade of red. 

“We don’t have to watch it, we can save it for another time.”  She said.

“No,” Hunter spoke up which surprised me.  “Whatever it is, we’ll watch it.”  I watched as Brody stood up and selected a chick flick from the shelf and proceeded to slide it into the player.

“How did you know which one she wanted?”  I asked curiously.  Brody grinned as he turned around and made his way back to his seat.  He tapped his temple in answer.  “How often do you guys do that?”  I asked. 

“A lot.”  Cade replied, as he leaned forward to grab a drink and hand it to me.  “We can communicate that way from an early age.  The closer the bond, the stronger the signal, so to speak.  Helps us communicate across great distances.”

“Cool.”  I said, as I accepted the drink and leaned back in my seat, balancing the plate in my lap.  Cade watched me as I settled. 
To make sure I didn’t spill anything?  Or was he checking if I needed anything else?
  As the movie started, I tried to ignore the wayward glances Cade threw my way and engrossed myself in the pizza and movie.  It wasn’t bad, but I wasn’t all that into chick flicks.  I’d suffer through it for Bree though.  At one point when I finished my pizza, Cade took my plate and set in down on the coffee table in front of us.  I smiled my thanks and he nodded in return. 

Things between Cade and me were…different now.  He seemed more relaxed and open that I knew what they were, but with the revelation of lifemates from this afternoon, I knew there was no chance for us to ever be anything more than friends.  I didn’t know what was going on in his brain, or if he wanted something between us.  I mean, he was a wolf.  A destined Alpha wolf.  He was supposed to meet his lifemate somewhere, settle down, and pop out the next heir.  I didn’t exactly fit anywhere into those plans.  Especially when I didn’t even know what I was.  There was no room for an “us” in that picture. 

Reluctantly, I realized that I was falling for him.  Yeah, he was frustrating, overbearing, and a caveman but he could be sweet too.  I loved watching the way he cared about his pack members.  He protected them, and I knew he protected me like I was a pack member too.  But things couldn’t go any further than that.  There couldn’t be anything between us when we had no future together.  If we tried, and he found his lifemate, my heart would be shattered into a million pieces.  He would probably feel guilty for leading me on, and things would forever be changed between us.  It was better to cut off any developing feelings then have my heart broken when he found his lifemate one day.  I decided then and there that I would treat him just like Brody and Hunter.  A friend to hang out with, nothing more.  It was the way things had to be, for both our sakes. 

All through the movie I kept myself aware of the distance between Cade and me.  I didn’t want or need a repeat of that first time when I was sprawled out on top of him.  I could tell he knew there was a shift in my demeanor, but I tried to look like I was paying attention to the movie.  A couple times he moved his leg that was closest to me so that he was barely brushing up against mine.  Both times I subtly moved mine away.  After the second time, he took a deep breath and folded his arms across his chest.  I glanced at him, then quickly away when his glaring eyes met mine.  Apparently Cade had an idea of what I was doing. 

On the second movie that Brody picked out, some action film, I received a text from Tyler. 
Bonfire tonight.  U in?

Can’t.  Movie night at McCoys

Oh.  Next week then?
 

I paused before answering.  If I wanted to put some emotional distance between Cade and me, then I needed physical distance too.
I had to save myself the heartbreak somehow.
  I could probably work it so I was there to help with the car but not any other time. 
At least when Cade was around.
  I texted Tyler back.

Yeah, I could stop by next week

Cool.  I’ll talk to u in school.  Enjoy ur movie.

Thanks have fun at ur bonfire.

I slipped my phone into my pocket and could feel the heat of Cade’s gaze on the side of my face. 
Aw shit. 
I shifted, nervous under his penetrating gaze and finally decided I needed some space.  Now.  I pulled the blanket to the side and stood up.  Brody paused the movie.

“Where you going?”  Brody asked.  I walked around the edge of the couch before I answered him.  

“Bathroom.  Upstairs.”  I added.

“Why upstairs?”  Hunter asked, curiously. 

“With your superior hearing I don’t need you listening in on me peeing.” 

Brody scoffed.  “One floor isn’t going to help,” He mumbled under his breath. 

“Don’t need to know that!”  I threw over my shoulder.  “Start the movie.  I’ll be right back.”  I rounded the wall and made my way upstairs.  I found the bathroom on the main floor and decided I really did need to pee.  I didn’t turn on any lights in the hallway since it was lit enough to see my way to the bathroom.  After finishing my business and washing my hands, I opened the door and stepped out into the darkened hallway.  A movement from the hallway made me jump out of my skin. 

“Holy Hell!”  I yelled as I finally realized Cade strode down the hallway toward me.  “What the hell is your problem sneaking up on people?”

“What is your problem?”  He growled at me as he approached.

“Excuse me?”  I asked, hands automatically going to my hips.  He stopped a foot from me and glared down at me.  I returned his gaze.

“You kept moving away from me, you promised Tyler you will go to his house next weekend, and you ignored me throughout the whole movie.  Both movies.”  He added.  I could feel the frustration, anger, and a little hurt, coming off him in waves.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”  I hedged. 
I couldn’t let things continue with him, I just couldn’t. 
That thought was like a broken record playing through my head.  Was that selfish?  Maybe, but sometimes you have to make the hard choice to save yourself later.
 

“Then let’s start with the easy one.”  He said.  I noticed that he was balling and un-balling his fists at his side.  “Why are you going to Tyler’s next weekend?” 

“He’s a friend.  I want to hang out with him.” 

“Were you going to tell me you guys were going?”

“I didn’t say Bree and Cassie were going.  Tyler invited me.  I want to go.  Alone.”

“Alone?”  He seethed. 

“Yes.”  I stated empathetically. 

“You can’t go alone.”

“You don’t have any say in what I do.  I’m not one of your wolves that you can tell what to do.” 

“I’m looking out for your wellbeing.”  His voice rose. 

“I don’t need you to look out for me!”  I yelled.  “I’ve taken care of myself just fine without your help.” 

“Why were you ignoring me?”  He changed tactics.

“What?”  I asked, confused on the change of subject.

“Why were you ignoring me downstairs?”

“I was watching a movie.”

“You moved away.  Never looked at me.”

“I was watching a movie.”  I stated firmly.

“GOD DAMN IT, KENDRA!”  Cade roared, frustrated.  My eyes widened but otherwise I held my ground.  He turned and paced away a few steps and placed his hands against the wall.  He took a couple deep breaths before he turned and glared at me.  “I don’t understand you.  We were getting along fine.  It’s like something snapped and now you put a canyon between us.”

“I don’t know why it matters.”  I muttered.

“Why what matters?”

“You’re going to find your lifemate someday and be extremely happy with her.  Another wolf.” 
I can never be that.

“Where did you hear about lifemates?  When?”  His eyes widened in surprise. 

“I asked Cassie and Bree about it today.”  I shrugged.  “They told me.”  I paused before adding softly, “We can never be any more than friends.”  He quickly stepped closer to me and grabbed me by my biceps.

“That’s not true.  What we have is different.”  He insisted.

“What we have, or could have, can never be.”  I said and shook my head.  “You’re destined to be the Alpha of your pack.  You need a strong Alpha woman by your side.  One who understands pack politics and how to govern a pack.  One who can shift into a wolf with you.”

“Kendra-,” He breathed. 

“No, it’s done.  We’re done.  I need to go home.”  I said decisively and shook out of his hold.  “Cassie!”  I yelled, knowing she’d hear me.  Two seconds later she was at Cade’s side.  She looked between us before her gaze landed on me. 

“Yeah?”

“Change of plans.  I need a ride home.”

“I’ll take you.”  Cade said firmly.  I shook my head.

“No, if Cassie is okay with it, from now on she will pick me up and drop me off.  At least until my car is fixed.”  I paused before adding while I looked at Cade, “If you don’t want to work on my car anymore I’ll understand.”  He growled in frustration.

“Don’t be ridiculous.  I said I’d finish your car.”  He ran his hands through his hair. 

“Thank you.”  I nodded and made my way to the front door, Cassie at my heels.  I snagged my backpack by the stairs and opened the door. 

“Kendra, you don’t have to leave.  Let’s talk about this.”  Cade said from behind me.  I took a deep breath before I half turned toward him. 

“I think it’s for the best, Cade.”  I said softly.  “We need some distance between us.  We can still be friends, I just can’t do more.  I’m sorry.”  I turned away again but his voice stopped me. 

“How much distance?”  He asked, hesitantly.  I looked back at him and that was the first time I’d ever seen Cade unsure, and I didn’t like it.  He was supposed to be a strong, self-assured Alpha.  Why would my leaving affect him so much? 

“Cade, we’ll still be friends.”  I said softly.  Cassie had walked ahead to the car and was waiting inside.  I headed that direction and Cade beat me to the door to open the passenger side. 
Ever the gentleman. 
Even as I was basically breaking up with him, not that we were dating to begin with, he was still being nice.  Me, on the other hand…

“What if I want more?”  He asked quietly just as I was going to step inside.  I glanced up at him.

“Just remember that you have a wolfy lifemate out there that is waiting for you to find her.  You’ll fall in love with her, have a future with her.  I’ll-” I paused before clearing my throat and adding, “I’ll still be a friend.  But I can’t start something with you when I know there is no future.”  I quickly slid into the seat and pulled the door from Cade’s grasp.  Cassie turned the car around and headed down the driveway.  I didn’t look back. 

“You sure you know what you’re doing?”  Cassie asked. 

“It’s not like we were dating.  We need space between us.”

“Doesn’t sound like he wanted space.”

“I need space.”  I clarified. 

“Why?”

I hesitated before I admitted softly.  “I don’t want my heart broken when he falls in love with his lifemate.” 

“Oh, honey.”  Cassie sympathized.  She didn’t say anything else on the matter but did ask, “Does this mean I’ll see you less?”

“I hope not.”  I glanced at her, fighting back the tears.  I never cried.  I wasn’t going to start now.  “We will just have to hang out at my house more often.  I’ll still come out and work on the car.  Do you mind driving me around?”  I asked.

“Not at all.  I can keep an eye on you that way.” She winked trying to lighten the mood.  A beat passed in silence before I made my soft confession. 

“I think I liked him more than I admitted to myself.”  I commented. 

“I think you both came to that realization tonight.”  Cassie said as she pulled out onto the main highway.  I didn’t comment as the sound of a forlorn wolf howl echoed through the trees around us. 

The next few weeks were rough, and as we closed in on the holiday season, I couldn’t seem to get in a chipper mood.  I felt horrible for the way things went down between Cade and me.  We weren’t dating, but there was still something there, even if it was unexplainable. 
And unattainable
.  I had to remind myself daily - morning, afternoon, and night - that Cade was off limits.  He was destined for a future I couldn’t share, I needed to accept that and move on.  Unfortunately, my heart wasn’t having any of that. 

That first Monday after our…fight, I panicked.  Cade didn’t show up for class and I couldn’t help the worry I felt.  I hesitantly asked Cassie about it and she gave me a sad smile saying that he needed some time, and distance.  Apparently he had shifted and ran.  A long ways away.  They expected him back by the end of the week. 
Maybe he’d find his lifemate.
  The thought made my chest seize and I tried to push through the rest of the day.  I had no idea what the teachers said, but I had other things on my mind at that point.  Steve and Nicole gave me funny looks when Cassie picked me up instead of Cade.  But they didn’t comment.  I was grateful that they didn’t pry.  It wasn’t something I really wanted to rehash at that point. 

At school I would go through the motions, dedicate my time to my school work, just to keep busy.  I picked out a few familiar faces in the younger grades that were pack members, but I didn’t do more than nod in greeting.  While they were all nice and understanding, I still knew it was my fault that Cade ran off.  I did go to Tyler’s bonfire that following weekend.  While I had some fun, it felt like I was trying too hard to have a good time.  I missed Cassie and Bree.  Even Brody and Hunter.  Cade, well, that was a constant ache. 

When Cade returned to school, things were strained between us.  I was at my locker when I felt something shift in the air.  I glanced up to find Cade staring directly at me from down the hall.  We studied each other.  He looked a little disheveled, but otherwise I drank in the sight of him. 
Oh how I missed him.
  A brief flash of hurt and longing passed through his eyes before his face blanked.  Hunter jostled him, breaking our eye contact.  I shut my locker and hurriedly walked to my next class.  We didn’t talk during any of our classes.  Or at lunch.  Or study hall.  I tried to smile and talk with everyone else, but there was an underlying tension in the group that I knew was entirely my fault.  But I had to stick to my beliefs.  Cade was a wolf.  I wasn’t.  There was absolutely no future for us. 

With my thoughts constantly returning to Cade, I decided I needed a distraction.  The following weeks I made an effort to finish up my college application and hoped they would accept me.   Southern Oregon University was an hour away, and outside of McCoy territory.  I’d asked Cassie.  Chances were I wouldn’t run into Cade that way. 

A few days later, the subject of colleges came up again and that was when I also found out that Cade’s elite family school was just for shifters. 

“What do you mean, just for shifters?”  I asked Cassie one night while we were studying at my house.  Bree couldn’t be there since she was working with her Mom on some healing thing.  We spent more time at my house now anyway, since there was less of a chance of running into Cade. 

“All the prospective alphas have to train as the High Council’s Enforcers for five years.  They learn the ins and outs of laws, procedures, and protocols that govern our society.  As well as get an up close and personal experience in the life of the High Council.”

“Who would want to do that?  I thought you said the High Council were a bunch of old, stuffy shifters?”

“They are but every prospective alpha is required to serve for five years upon high school graduation.  I think it’s their way of keeping track of the alphas and knowing who the trouble makers are.  Just in case they get any ideas.”

“Ideas about what?”  I asked, curiously.

“Like if they don’t like the way things are run, I’m sure the High Council would tamp out the rebels quickly.”

“Tamp out meaning?”

“Anything necessary to keep the peace.”  Cassie replied.  I shuddered. 

“Are they that strict?”

“Tradition and order are important to them.  Very important.  They don’t take kindly to anyone opposing them.”

“Why would anyone oppose them?”

“You only know the bare minimum on the rules we follow.  Besides, we aren’t the only ones, Kendra.”  She looked at me quietly. 

“I know.  You said there are other packs with their own territories.”

“No, I mean shifters.”  She paused before adding, “We are wolf shifters, but there are other kinds of shifters too.”  My eyes widened.

“Really?” 
Why didn’t I think of that before?

“Yes.  But according to the High Council, all other shifters besides wolves are secondary.  Seen as less important.”

“Why?” 

“Supremacy?”  She shrugged.  “I told you they are steeped in tradition and that’s the way it’s always been, as far back as I know.  Everyone on the High Council is a wolf.  Other shifters don’t get a chance to serve.”

“That hardly seems fair.”

“It’s the way things have always been.”

“So, these other shifters.  They would be the ones that would be the rebels?”

“Most likely.  They are the ones with the most objections.” 

“Are there any at our school?”

“No.  They aren’t allowed in our territory.  They have their own schools.” 

“I never figured there would be more of you out there.”

“Mom has some history books around home somewhere.  It tells a lot about all the different shifters.  Remind me to find you one next time we are at my house.” 
Speaking of her house…

“How’s Cade doing?”  I asked quietly.  She sighed. 

“He’s moody.  I swear his mood swings give people whiplash.  He’s half smiling to reassure our parents one second, then he’s running out of the house, shifting midstride, and disappearing into the forest for a few hours.  He acts like he lost his lifemate.  Which can’t be, because you’re not a wolf.”  She looked at me before asking, “How are you doing?”

“I miss him.”  I admitted.  I didn’t add that it felt like a piece of my heart was gone. 

“Maybe you should talk to him.  You see each other at school but you avoid him even though I know you want to be near him.  He looks after you like a lost puppy.”  She shook her head.  “I don’t see the harm in spending time together if it’s what you both want.”

“And what happens when he meets his lifemate?”  I argued.  “I get pushed aside and my heart-“ I cut myself off but Cassie finished the thought for me.

“Will be broken.”  She sighed.  “Yeah, I can understand not wanting to go through that.  But is what you are feeling now that different?”  I didn’t answer.  The rest of the night was spent on homework and we discussed the upcoming Christmas shopping trip we planned for Ashland. 

Cassie followed through on her word and handed me a history book on shifters the next time I was at their house to work on the car.  Everyone always gathered around when it was time to work in the garage.  It was almost normal if it weren’t for Cade’s steady gaze on me.  I made it a point not to look at him.  Brody was good about cracking jokes to try and lighten up the mood. 

Bree would try to smooth the tension over with little known facts about healing she picked up from her Mom, Diane.  Apparently being the Omega was super awesome.  Bree was working on projecting emotions of calmness through touch that would help diffuse stressful situations, which could otherwise escalate into an all-out battle if left alone.  She admitted that she tried it on me a few times before I knew about wolves.  To say I was surprised was an understatement. 

I also witnessed her healing abilities when Hunter accidently cut his hand open while working on the car.  As soon as Hunter hissed in pain, Bree ran over to him and picked up his cut hand.  I watched in amazement as she concentrated and the wound slowly sealed. 
Like it wasn’t even there.
  A beat passed where Bree was ecstatic as she managed to seal the wound and looked up at Hunter in happiness.  Hunter looked sucker punched.  I couldn’t tell if he was surprised by Bree’s achievement or that Bree was smiling up at him.  The smile fell from Bree’s face and she retreated back to her seat.  To cover her awkwardness, I asked about their natural healing abilities.  Brody informed me that if they shifted it helped the healing process speed up, although nothing was as fast as an Omega’s ability. 

The week leading up to our shopping trip, I read through the short history book that Cassie gave me.  No other history book ever held my attention like that one.  There were so many different kinds of shifters.  Cougars, panthers, lions, tigers, foxes, grizzly bears, polar bears, hawks, eagles, just to name a few.  How could they not have any representation on the High Council?  I didn’t understand it, nor did I believe it was fair.  There was one small blurb about how other shifters besides wolves used to be represented on the High Council but that was over 200 years ago.  A power struggle of some sort brought about the change in leadership.  Wolves had been in power ever since. 

I tried to do a little research on my own, about what I was, since I needed things to keep me busy.  But when you don’t know what you are, or what makes you different, well, you don’t really have a good starting place.  To everyone’s frustration, Liam and Mica still hadn’t figured out anything either.  They said they had a few leads, but wouldn’t tell me what.  I had mentioned my mother’s name, Clara, in the hopes that it might help them.  So far, nothing had come up. 

My sketches and drawings had taken a turn for the bizarre, but maybe I could chalk it up to all my lessons on other shifters.  They were starting to contain depictions of other animals, in all shapes and sizes.  I couldn’t seem to get the details right, like they were in a haze and you couldn’t pick out the true image.  But I knew what it was.  A panther seemed to be the only image I could draw with detail.  My dreams were the same way.  I knew it was connected to what I was, but I had no way of knowing for sure. 

My hearing seemed to be improving too, which I found extremely weird.  There were times at school when I had my head down as I worked on my homework and I could hear Tyler talking with his friends about some sports thing.  I’d look up to comment, then frown when they were nowhere near me, but across the room.  How could I have possibly heard every word?  I didn’t mention that, or the new developments in my drawings and dreams to any of the pack.  Things were always better swept under the rug anyway, right? 

Finally our shopping day arrived.  Cassie planned to pick me up at my house before her, Bree, and I continued on to Ashland.  I assumed it was just us girls, but I should have known that a trip outside of Pack territory would mean an escort.  When I stepped out of the house that morning, I wasn’t prepared for what greeted me.  Hunter and Cade waited on the driver’s side of a silver Chevy Tahoe.  Bree and Brody stood on the other side.  Cassie was making her way toward the front door but stopped when she saw me standing on the front porch. 

“Surprise,” she smiled hesitantly and bit her lip.  I looked from her, to the others surrounding the Tahoe, then back to her.  I raised my eyebrow in question.  “Yeah, sorry.  I couldn’t leave them home.”  I made my way to her and stopped a short distance from her.

“Whose idea was this?”  Thinking Cade was the usual culprit. 

“Dad’s actually.”  Cassie admitted.  I looked to her in surprise.  “Since we are leaving the territory he wants us to have enough protection to be safe.” 

“So we have to bring Brody, Hunter, and Cade along.”  I noted.

“Well,” she hedged.

“What?”  I asked suspiciously. 

“A few of Dad’s Enforcers will be tailing us also.”  I blinked at her.

“Come again?”  I asked.  Hunter stepped up beside us.

“The Alpha’s daughter needs to be protected.  We don’t want other packs getting ideas that kidnapping Cassie would broker a deal with Liam.”

“Who would make a deal with kidnappers?”

“We wouldn’t,” Cade answered softly as he approached our small group slowly.  “But other packs are sometimes desperate.”

“Desperate for what?”  I asked.

“Let’s continue this conversation in the car.”  Bree called.  We made our way to the SUV and both Bree and Cassie jumped into the back seat.  Hunter slid behind the wheel and Brody folded himself into the front passenger seat.  This left me in the middle with Cade. 
I had great friends. 

“So why the added protection?” I asked as Hunter turned the car around and headed out of town. 

“Our pack is pretty strong.”  Cassie explained from behind me.  “A lot of packs want a treaty with us, others just want what we have.”

“Meaning?”

“Power and Money.”  Cade supplied.  I glanced over at him and noted that he was watching me.  I couldn’t very well ignore him when he sat right next to me.  Cade continued with his explanation.  “Our pack is strong because we have a lot of members.  There are some packs that have less than ten.  Our territory stretches across thousands of acres, while others only a few hundred.”