“My parents don’t have health insurance and the medicine required to slow the MS down is very expensive.”
“Most medicine is, but how expensive are we talking? A few hundred a month?” I actually laugh at his estimate. I wish it was only a few hundred a month. Hell, I’d be able to pay that on my own if that were the case.
“No, not even close. Do you know what MS is, what it does to the body?” He shakes his head, so I continue. “It’s an auto immune disease. Basically, the body attacks the coating around your nerves, which results in the body not being able to send proper signals to the brain. Things like walking, talking, touch, memory, they’re all affected depending on where the legions are. There’s no cure, so the doctor’s goal is to stop it from progressing and try to put it in remission.”
“Jesus, I’m so sorry. So she’s on a lot of meds to stop the progression?”
“Not really. She only takes three medicines, but they’re really expensive. She’s doing this treatment where she goes in to get an infusion one day each month until it either goes into remission, or she dies. There’s a forty-percent chance it’ll be put in to remission. It’s a new drug, so she’s only been on it for four months. Anyway, that alone is fifty-six hundred dollars a month. Add in the other two medications she’s on, and it’s almost six thousand dollars a month.” I notice his eyes widen when I throw that number out at him.
“Holy shit. That’s seventy-two thousand dollars a year!” I nod my head slowly. I’ve done the math countless times. I know exactly how much it is every year. “What happens if she doesn’t get the medicine?”
“Then the disease will eventually completely debilitate her before killing her.”
“Damn, and Cal pays for all of that?” He almost seems surprised by Cal’s generosity, but let’s not fool ourselves into believing he’s doing this because it’s the nice thing to do. No, he knows it would look horrible if the press ever found out my mother was dying of a disease because she couldn’t afford the medicine and Mr. Money Bags Fitzgerald did nothing to help her. Again, it’s all about appearances and strategy.
“Yep, and because of that, I’m indebted to him. If I leave, she won’t get the treatment she needs and her deteriorating health and likely death will be on my hands. I’d gladly sacrifice my happiness so that my mother can live as full a life as possible in her condition.”
At first, his only response is to shake his head. “I don’t know what to say. I want to throw you over my shoulder and carry you out of here so damn bad. But I get it, I understand why you live in misery now.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Fuck,” he says to himself. “So now what?”
“Right now I’m going to put ice on my cheek, take some aspirin, and go to sleep.” He looks like he’s about to get upset again, so I hold up my hand to stop him. “It’s fine, Alex. I’m going to make sure I toe the line better in the future to keep him from lashing out at me again.”
“Elizabeth, if he touches you again I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold back. I’ll likely end up in jail for killing him, and I’m not kidding.” Looking into his eyes and seeing the utter seriousness pouring out of them, I don’t doubt him for a second. He would hurt Cal, and bad too.
“I’m not going to give him a reason to hit me and everything will be fine. Can we talk more later? I’m really tired and I just want to lie down.” Reluctantly, he gets off the bed. He leans over and whispers a kiss across my lips before moving over and lightly kissing my sore cheek. His gentleness never ceases to amaze me, and I have to suck back the tears that threaten to spill over. It’s been an emotional day and I’m exhausted.
“I’m going to figure out a way for you to leave him, I swear it.” I shake my head and open my mouth to protest, but he covers my lips with his fingers. “Yes, I am. If it’s the last thing I do you will walk out of that door and be free from the burdens and abuses in your life. You deserve the world, and dammit, I’m going to do my best to give it to you.” Without another word or waiting for a response, he gets off the bed and leaves the room.
Rolling over onto my side, I let the tears flow freely across my face and onto my pillow. I was holding on to such a small piece of myself through this marriage, clutching on to it with all my might. The piece that let me know that while a lot of my virtues and beliefs have been compromised, my dignity was still intact. That piece has been ripped from my stiff fingers, crashing to the ground. Now it’s like a dandelion blowing in the wind, the fragments never to be found again. And because I have to stay, I know that I’ll forever be lost too.
THE NEXT MORNING
when I wake up, I notice two things: my head feels like it’s been hit by a semi truck, and I’m burning up. I go to throw the covers off when my elbow hits a solid surface. I freeze, terrified that Cal came home and is in bed with me. Peeking one eye open, I slowly turn my head to see Alex laying beside me. He’s on top of the covers on his side facing me and still dressed in his clothes from yesterday. His boyish looks cause me to smile slightly, which I instantly regret when a sharp pain zaps the side of my face. Relaxing my features, I study the softness of his face in his slumbered state. A day’s old stubble coats his chin and I have to fight the urge to reach out and touch it.
“It’s rude to stare,” Alex mumbles.
“Jesus,” I say, my voice still clogged with sleep. “You scared the hell out of me.”
Smiling, he opens his eyes slowly. “I gathered that.”
“Did I wake you?” I sit up, my whole body feeling stiff from the stress of yesterday.
“No, I’ve been awake for a while. I set some aspirin on the nightstand beside you.” He nods his head gesturing to the side table.
Picking up the pills and the glass of water, I swallow the medicine willing it to work instantly. Now that I’m up and awake, the pounding in my head is almost more than I can take. “I need to use the restroom.” Once I’m to the bathroom, the sight reflected back in the mirror startles me. I gasp and slowly bring my hand up to my face, wincing when I touch my bruise. My cheek has doubled in size, a myriad of colors marking the skin. Tears fill my eyes, unable to really deal with my appearance. Alex knocks before peeking in from behind the door.
“Jesus, come here.” In a second his arms are wrapped around me while I cry into his chest. “It’s okay. I’m here for you, sweetheart. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you again, you understand?” All I can do is nod while I continue to cry.
I pull away from his chest. “I’m sorry, I just wasn’t prepared to see this,” I say as I wave at my face.
“You don’t need to apologize. It’s taking all I have not to track that fucker down and beat him to a pulp for doing this to you.”
I look into his eyes, seeing every emotion laid out for me. Anger, fear, worry, and something deeper that scares me to death. “Alex, I—” I pause, suddenly not sure what I’m going to say. I don’t get to finish though because the doorbell rings.
“You stay here, I’ll get it.” Alex stands and leaves the bedroom. After a few moments, he returns. “It’s Aaron. If you’re not up to talking to him, I’ll make him leave, but he was pretty adamant about speaking with you.”
“Is Cal with him?” He shakes his head. Taking a deep breath, I let it out and say, “You can bring him up.” I had a feeling I would hear from Aaron at some point today to do damage control. However, I didn’t expect him to show up. I look up when both men enter the room.
“Fucking hell,” Aaron whispers. He scrubs a hand over his face and starts pacing. “Okay, you are not to leave this house until your face heals, understand?”
“Excuse me? I’m not a prisoner.” Actually, I kind of am. I’m a prisoner to my marriage. Aaron stops pacing abruptly.
“No, you’re the wife of a prominent senator and the next president of the United States. We can’t risk anyone seeing you look like that. Even with the best excuse, no one would believe it. Speculations would turn into digging, and digging would turn into this huge scandal that we can’t afford.” I’m floored. Never in his explanation was there concern for me.
“Are you listening to yourself? Look at me! Do you think this is right? And you have the nerve to stand there and preach to me about how important it is that people don’t see my fucked-up face?”
“Look, I don’t get paid to make judgments on what is right or wrong. I’m paid to win Cal elections. And keeping you out of sight will make sure he wins this election. People cannot see you like this.”
“You might want to give this same spiel to Cal seeing it’s his actions that are going to lose him the election. It’s not like I punched myself in the face.”
“We’re canceling the appearance you have tomorrow.” He pulls out his phone and starts tapping it rapidly.
“What appearance?” I was never told about an appearance.
“It was a last-minute engagement where you would talk about your upbringing and Cal’s compassion toward you and your family.” Oh, that’s right. I almost forgot they were using my life story as a campaign tool.
“Why don’t we change the topic then? I could always give a speech about domestic violence,” I deadpan.
“Now’s not the time to be joking, Elizabeth,” he chastises.
My whole life is a big joke
is what I want to say, but don’t. “Is he coming home tonight?”
“No, he’s letting things cool off before coming back, give it a couple days.”
Cool off? He thinks I’m going to forget this? “I think it’s time you leave, Aaron. I won’t go out so you and Cal can rest easy.” He gives me a curt nod and starts to leave, but I stop him. “Wait, did he report Alex for . . . interfering?”
Aaron glances behind him to Alex before looking at me. “No, I advised him not to. There’s nothing worse than a disgruntled former employee to fuck up a campaign. There’d be nothing stopping him from going public with what he witnessed, not to mention a slew of other issues.” Turning his attention back to Alex, he says, “I trust you’ll show discretion in regards to Mr. and Mrs. Fitgerald’s private matters, right?” Alex’s jaw ticks before he nods, giving Aaron a glacial look. “Good, I’ll be on my way then.”
After Aaron leaves, I flop back down on the bed. My headache is feeling better, but there’s still a dull throb pounding against my skull. “You are surrounded by scum,” Alex says, disgust punctuating each word.
“I know,” I groan. “I really don’t want to stay here feeling sorry for myself all day.”
“I’ll tell you what, I’ll run you a nice warm bath. You go soak and relax for a bit and when you get out we can veg out and watch TV all day. Deal?”
“Deal.” When I walk into the bathroom, I’m stunned by the display before me. Small votive candles are lit around the tub and on the counters. The smell of lavender hits me and I realize he’s used my favorite bubbles too.
“Do you like it?” Alex says into my ear from behind me.
“I love it. This is so thoughtful. How’d you find all this stuff?”
“It was all under the sink, so I didn’t exactly have to tear the house apart to find it.”
“Thank you.” I turn around and throw my arms around his neck, holding on to him as tight as possible. These last twenty-four hours he’s been my rock, and I can’t thank him enough for all of his support and comfort.
“Go on, before it gets cold.” I turn around but jump slightly when he lands a small tap to my butt.
“Excuse you, Mr. Matthews,” I say playfully over my shoulder. I’m rewarded with a heart-stopping smile. He leaves, shutting the door behind him. My clothes are thrown in a pile in the corner before I slowly step into the hot bath and ease down. Once I’m laid back, I take a deep, cleansing breath. Lavender floats all around me, the bath soap softens my skin, and the hot water relaxes my muscles. This is heavenly.
I take this moment to shut my brain off. I’ve been thinking, debating, and fighting myself on everything lately. As much as my body hurts, my mind is far more tattered. I just need a mental break, so that’s what I do for the next forty-five minutes. I soak in the bath and don’t think about anything. Cal, my mother’s illness, my misery, my growing feelings for Alex, none of it exists right now. Once my body is good and pruny and the water is starting to get cold, I get out of the tub and throw on my robe.
Entering the bedroom, I see Alex sitting on the bed, but he’s not in his usual attire of a suit and tie. He has on sweats and a long sleeved T-shirt that’s pushed up to his elbows. The sight of him looking so casual does strange things to me. It’s a welcomed image and one that feels so normal between us. I’ve only seen him like this twice before, but each time is like a sucker punch to the gut. There’s just something seriously sexy about it. Of course, he’s seen me in a lot less, but I’m not going there right now.
“Do you feel better?” he asks when he notices my presence.
“Much better. I needed that, so thank you.”
“Ah, it was nothing really. Come sit and join me for the gourmet meal I’ve prepared for us.” He waves his hands out at whatever he has spread across the bed. When I get to the edge of the bed, I laugh at his
gourmet
meal. Set out on plates are a variety of cheese and crackers.
“Gourmet, huh?” I joke with him.
“Well, I can’t be good at everything.” He looks around the room as if someone might be listening. “Cooking is one of my weaknesses. But don’t tell anyone,” he whispers. A laugh bubbles out from my lips. It’s the first real laugh since Cal hit me, and there’s something cathartic about it. Like yesterday has been cleansed from my body.