Hidden in the Stars (Falling Stars #2) (27 page)

I nod.

"Any other questions?"

Giving a shake of my head, I answer, "No."

"Okay, well, I just need you to sign these documents." She places a few forms and confirmation of information in front of me.

Upon completion, I sit back and take a deep breath.

"I know it seems daunting now, but, Liza, I've known you for years. You'll be fine." When she closes the manila folder, a feeling of closure comes over me.

"I think you're right." I meet her eyes and smile.

Jackson

"What the fuck could I possibly do with a cell phone?" The edginess has every muscle aching and sweat dampening my hairline.
Stupid fucking withdrawals.

"It's policy, Mr. Shaw." My newest nurse, Joe, stands at the nurse's station. With a look of annoyance on his face, he points to the
Rules to Live By
sign on the wall near the front desk.

I scared away two nurses before they brought in Joe last night. He's bigger than Elliot and as strong as a damn ox. I’m only on my second day and he's already got me under his damn thumb.

"It's not like I can fit an iPhone up my goddamn nose," I growl, turning back to my room.

"You need to be on your way to therapy." Joe ignores my tantrum.

"I don't need goddamn—”

"Wow." The voice makes me spin on my heels, causing me to get dizzy and sway. "Are you sure you and Christopher aren't blood?"

A smile parts my lips. My family sent reinforcements. Dr. J, Chris' psychiatrist, the only shrink Chris would open up to about his past, stands next to the nurse's station. "Finally, you came to spring me from this place!" I throw my arms in the air. "Uh, no." He crushes my elation.

"What do you mean ‘no’?" Dropping my arms, I slowly walk toward him.

"I'm here to collect you for therapy." Without another word of explanation, he waves for me to follow him.

"What? You take care of Chris."

He's Chris' shrink, helping him deal with his shit as well as putting up with Chris' need to be a constant pain in his ass. I mean, he practically toured with us.

I catch up with him, but he doesn't elaborate until we are inside a small, light blue room used for individual counseling.

"Take a seat, Jackson." He's suddenly all business.

I don't sit.

"What the fuck is going on?"

"Jackson, your family asked me to counsel you for the rest of your detox so we can continue sessions after your release." He sits down in a black chair at a small, round table.

"I don't need a shrink," I argue.

I sit across from him and spread my legs wide so I don’t bang my knees on the pole under the table.

"I'm going to provide support during your recovery, that's all." He settles back in the chair, tenting his hands in front of his mouth.

"This isn't like Chris. I got carried away with partying. I don't need—”

"Someone to discuss the feelings that drove you to the drugs and alcohol?" His brows raise.

"It was just an escape. Once it's out of my system, I'll be fine." I press back into the chair, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Yes, well, I've been assigned the task of creating your recovery plan."

I open my mouth to argue, but he lifts a hand, silencing me.

"Whether you like it or not, you will have an ongoing plan. The first thing you need to understand is that you are an addict." Dr. J leans forward, his elbows on the table.

"I'm not an addict. I just…I…"

"There's nothing wrong with admitting you’re an addict." He shrugs.

"Nothing wrong with being an addict? Doc, you may not be doing this right." I curl up the right side of my mouth.

"Nice attempt, but Chris is much better with the witty taunts."

My could-have-been smile drops from my lips.

"I didn't say being an addict is okay. I said there's nothing wrong with admitting you are one, and Jackson," he eyes me sharply, "you are an addict. You took the drugs for fun and then they became a necessity during daily life."

"I just got carried away and—”

"Lift your hand," Dr. J cuts me off. "Do it."

Unfolding my arms, I put one hand up between us. The tremors in my hands are noticeable to the naked eye. There's no hiding my jonesing.

"That right there is your body fighting the effects of not having a foreign substance in your system. Your body craves the drug, the euphoric feeling." Dr. J reaches out and takes my hand.

"Jack, you have permanent liver damage because of how far it went. There's a chance you will have kidney problems in the future."

I drop my head and take a deep breath.

"What's the plan?" My question is my resignation.

"You'll finish the detox week. At the end, I'll consult with your doctors and nurses, and we will decide if you can leave the facility."

"Then?" I press, finally meeting his eyes again.

Releasing my hand, he sits back once more.

"You will meet an AA sponsor this week. If you are comfortable with them, then you will regularly connect with them to check in and for support. We'll find local AA meetings you can attend to support your sobriety goal."

"So, what the fuck are you for?" I grin. "Are you just trying to make Chris jealous?"

Rolling his eyes, he explains his role.

"I'll be doing some sessions with you to discuss the pressures you face. And, perhaps, it’s to make Chris a bit jealous." He shrugs, keeping a straight face. "Let's take a selfie together and send it to him." He cocks his head before a wide grin spreads across his face.

Our laughter fills the small room.

Walking Dr. J back up to the front, I notice a satisfied look on Joe's face and flip him off.

"You still got your therapy session, didn't you?" He pushes his bottom lip out in a fake pout.

"I don't like you," I inform in a bored tone.

"Good." He nods. "Just remember, I've worked here for six years and I'm not going anywhere. In order to avoid me, you will need to stay out of here."

A familiar voice interrupts before I can take my edgy-withdrawing-addict attitude out on Joe.

"Jackson?" Nicholas sounds both sad and stern. I'm not sure how he pulls that off.

Turning to face him, I'm shocked by how tired and aged he looks. This isn't the Nic I know.

"What’s wrong?" My feet carry me until there's only a foot between us. "Is it Mom?"

He looks up and shakes his head.

"She's okay. I just came to check in on you so she would rest this afternoon. She's been worrying herself about you all night."

Guilt assaults me and by the hard look on his face, I'm sure that's his intention.

Walking by him, I say, "Tell her I'm fine and doing what I agreed to do."

I enter my private room and sit on the bed.

Nicholas follows, closing the door behind him.

"I never thought I'd be here with you." Deep lines mar his forehead. "I wasn't prepared to do this…" he motions around the clinically clean room, "with you."

I open my mouth, but he puts a hand up, silencing me.

"I know I'm not your biological father, Jackson, but I can't hold back my disappointment." He closes his eyes and presses this thumb and pointer finger into the lids.

"Yeah, well, you disappointed me, too."

My response brings his eyes back to me.

"You didn't think about telling me my mother has cancer. That MY mother has a disease that destroys lives like a tornado." The venom in my voice surprises me.

"I respected your mother, MY wife's wishes." Nic steps closer to me.

Resting my elbows on my knees, I focus on a dark green fleck in the mint green tile at my feet.

"I know you're angry. But when she finally opened up and told me what was going on, the only way I could help her was by doing as she wished. Do you understand how helpless I feel?"

Bringing my glare from the fleck to his face, I answer, "No, Nic, I don't, because no one told me."

I push to my feet and Nicholas raises his head to keep his eyes on mine.

"I could've helped,” I say, pointing to my chest. “I would've been the person you could lean on, but you didn't give me that chance."

"You didn't give me that chance either, Jackson." He closes his eyes, inhales, and blows the breath out. "I know I'm not your real father, but—”

"Not my real father?" I choke out the question. His words both anger and sadden me.

"Yes, I understand I'm not." His arms cross over his chest like he needs something to hold on to. "But I wish you would've come to me. I would've listened. You aren't the only one who knows how deep heartache can go."

"How can you say that?" My body goes lax, my anger washed away by his words.

His eyes meet mine, confusion on his face.

"
You
are my father, Nicholas." All expression leaves his face at my words. "No one else has been there for me, raised me. You did that when you didn't have to."

Nic drops his arms and visibly swallows.

"I thought you understood.
You
are Dad."

The watery look in his eyes puts me in motion. Stepping forward, I reach out and pull his chest to mine, embracing him.

"It's hard to stay strong for her." The unfamiliar waver in his voice causes an ache in my chest. This is Nic—confident, strong, decisive Nicholas Shaw. He doesn't falter.

But he's human
, an internal voice reminds me. I hold him tighter.

"We'll do it together."

"You just get better first." He pulls out of my arms, returning to the Nicholas I've always known. "She needs that from you."

My response is a quick nod.

Three days have passed since the emotional confrontation with Nicholas. Today, I'm surrounded by too many guests. And if Nurse Joe's scowl is any indication, he’s not happy about the rule breaking.

"Is this her?" Elliot turns up the next online contestant's submission.

Her voice induces the same reaction. My body warms and my cock stirs to life. Licking my bottom lip, I nod.

"Fuck me. I'm going to need to talk to Red about reservations." Elliot sits back in his chair, closing his eyes and listening. "Do they all sing this well?" His fingers tap out the beat on his massive bicep.

"The real question is, do they get naked?" Kat asks without looking up from the magazine she's flipping through while seated on the window sill. "If so, I'll need to be added to the reservation."

"Now you're into women?" Jimmy asks, slouched in one of the uncomfortable chairs.

"Maybe I've always been into women. Ever think of that?" She finally looks up from the magazine.

"Ever been into Serena?" Elliot's face displays genuine perverse curiosity.

"Will you guys shut the fuck up?" I snarl, taking the laptop from Elliot. "I can't hear shit."