Hidden Mercies (30 page)

“Too?”

“Last Sunday, Missy Perkins told me at church that they were having a nice sale on dress shoes at Payless this week.”

“Why is that a problem?”

“Missy was a clerk in the clothing department store over in Wooster for years and always thought she had to dress nice. She’s seventy-six years old and still wears high heels to
church. Probably wears them to do her housecleaning in for all I know.”

“I still don’t understand why that’s a problem.”

“What’s wrong with you? It’s as clear as a bell to me. I’ve been thinking about it all week. She’s been trying to tell me that my tennis shoes aren’t good enough to come to church in!”

“Isn’t she the one who picks you up for church sometimes? I thought she was your friend.”

“She is my friend.”

“But you’re mad at her.”

“I am now!”

“Why?”

“She called me this morning to say that she’d be here to pick me up and she asked if I’d gotten a chance to go to that shoe sale.”

“But don’t you have the right to wear anything you want?”

“I certainly do! If Missy wants to break a leg falling off of those high heels she wears, that’s her business! It’s not like anyone’s going to mistake her for a fifty-year-old just because she dyes her hair red and wears her fancy shoes. My tennis shoes are comfortable, thank you very much. I have no intention of breaking a hip just because Missy doesn’t approve of what I wear on my feet.”

He didn’t know whether to be amused or worried.

“I’m about ready to take Grace’s car and drive myself. I still got a driver’s license. Just because I stopped driving for a while because I was sick doesn’t mean I can’t get around now.”

“I thought Levi told me there were some vision issues, as well.” He said it as gently as he knew how.

“Levi needs to keep his nose out of my beeswax.”

“Would you like for me to take you today instead?”

“Oh!” Elizabeth’s demeanor changed completely. “Would you?”

“I’d be happy to.”

“This is wonderful! You’ll like our preacher, and our singing is real good—as long as Missy don’t start screeching around on the high notes.”

He’d just been offering her a ride to keep her from saying something she’d regret to her best friend. He had no intention of going inside with her.

But she was already on the phone, telling Missy that she had another ride to church and would be bringing a visitor with her.

He supposed it wouldn’t hurt to go with her. He would just be sitting around anyway. Unless he decided to take off for good. “I’ll go put Rocky inside the barn for now, and get the car.”

“Better tuck in that shirttail while you’re at it!”

“I will, Elizabeth.”

As he walked back to the apartment, despite everything that had happened this morning, he smiled. Going to see Elizabeth had not turned out as he’d expected, but somehow he felt a little better anyway.

Thirty minutes later, they were inside of the church where Elizabeth went three times a week like clockwork. Four if you counted her ladies’ class on Thursdays. Plenty of time for Missy to get on her nerves. Today was a good day for her, though. Elizabeth was as proud as punch about having him sitting beside of her.

The singing was good, but the preacher, Darren Stephens, was so young, he reminded Tom of a new, raw recruit.

“How old is that kid?” he whispered to Elizabeth.

“Doctor Stephens?” Elizabeth whispered back. “He’s thirty-two.”

“Oh.” Tom paid a little more attention after that.

“I’ll be preaching from I Timothy 5:8.” Dr. Stephens said.
“The King James Version is my favorite translation of this particular passage.”

Elizabeth shared her Bible with him, opening it at the assigned place.

Tom glanced down, found the passage, and read it. The preacher’s voice faded into the background as Tom read it again. And again.

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Tom had heard of things like this happening to other people—but it had never happened to him. And yet for the preacher to choose this particular passage today of all days when he was wrestling with the desire to pack up and leave . . . Well, it was uncanny.

He didn’t hear another word the preacher said.

•   •   •

Claire was peeling potatoes for supper when he came back.

“Can we talk for a second?” he asked.

One look at his face, and she knew the potatoes could wait. “Maddy, would you keep an eye on Daniel and Sarah for me, please?”

Maddy was sitting at the table reading her Bible. She closed it now and turned to the two littles ones. “Want me to read you a story, Daniel? You, too, Sarah. I’ll read any book you like.”

She rinsed off her hands, dried them on her apron, and followed him out onto the porch.

“I saw your car leave,” she said. “You were gone a long time. I was getting worried. Where did you go?”

“I drove Elizabeth to church. Then I dropped her back off and just drove around for a long time, thinking.”

He looked so straight and tall standing there on the porch.
His scars had faded, but his eyes were troubled, and his hands were shoved deep into his pants pockets—a gesture she remembered from their childhood when he was upset about something. How could she not have recognized him all this time? The minute she knew he was Tobias, she could read the truth of it in every line of his body.

“I’ll be honest with you. I seriously considered leaving and never coming back.”

“I thought that might have been what happened, especially when I realized you’d put Rocky in the barn.”

“I’ve served my country well, Claire, but you are right. I have sacrificed nothing for those I truly love. I made a decision today. Instead of asking for an extension of my sick leave, tomorrow I’m going to ask for a full retirement. When it comes through, I’ll look near here for a place to live permanently. I have no earthly idea how to make amends to you, or Faye, or Levi, or
Daed
. All I know is that I have to stay here and try.”

“Won’t you miss your—what was it that Jesse called it—your Cobra?”

“I’ll miss a lot of things, but right now, none of them seem very important to me.”

She studied his face, his eyes, the set of his mouth. What she read there was that he was dead serious about this.

He would be living here. Near her. Quite possibly forever.

He had said he was willing to sacrifice for those he truly loved. It had not escaped her notice that her name was the first one on the list.

Did her heart
have
to start racing at the mere thought?

She would have to keep their relationship on a friendship level, and only a friendship level. Anything else would be disastrous.

“If this decision gives you peace, then I’m happy for you.”

“It does give me peace. Now, is there anything you can tell me to do that would make your life easier?”

“Actually, there is a big thing you can do.”

“Name it.”

“You won’t like it.”

“Name it.”

“I’ve asked Henry and Rose and their children over this evening for Sunday supper,” Claire said. “I would appreciate it if you would join us.”

“That’s it?”

“That is a lot to ask. It is not easy for me to be around my brother-in-law these days,” Claire said. “Having you there would be helpful to me.”

“I’ll be happy to come. Have things gotten worse?”

“Rose told me last week that they are for sure and certain losing their home. The bank will give them no more extensions.”

Jesse came bounding out of the house, came to a skidding stop at seeing their serious faces, and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong,” she said. “I was inviting Tom to come to supper tonight with Rose and Henry and their children.”

“Is Henry a bad man?” Jesse asked.

“Why do you ask?”

“Because every time you say his name now, your voice sounds like it does when you’re mad with one of us.”

Tom expected her to sugarcoat her answer. She did not.

“You are right. I am angry with Henry,” she said. “And I have no idea if he’s a bad man or not. That’s what I hope to find out.”

C
laire already regretted inviting Rose and Henry and their five children to supper. The invitation had been extended in a fit of compassion for her sister. Now she wondered how she could manage to show respect to her brother-in-law when she believed with all her heart that he was involved in something he should not be.

Had she been in Rose’s shoes, she would not have stood for being kept in ignorance. But then again, she had never been in Rose’s exact shoes. It was not possible to understand the intricacies of another’s marriage. Abraham had not been an easy man to live with, but she had never had reason to doubt his faithfulness. Nor had he ever left them in want.

“They are here,” Jesse called.

She also regretted her words earlier this morning when Jesse asked if Henry was a bad man. Who knew what the child might say at the supper table? She did not want Rose or her children getting their feelings hurt.

She did not care if Henry’s feelings got hurt.

“You have made a feast,” Rose said, as she and her family walked into the kitchen. “Thank you.”

“Maddy helped a great deal. And Sarah.” Claire said. “My girls are becoming very good cooks.”

“Henry.” She tried to be civil. “I am glad you could come.”

“Is supper ready yet?” He fingered his beard, nervously, a habit she hated to see in a man.

“Are you in a hurry, Henry? Do you have someplace you need to be?” She tried to keep the sarcasm from her voice but did not succeed. It would be best, she decided, simply to keep her mouth shut.

“I wrote a poem for you today.” Amy wheeled herself into the kitchen and handed a card to Rose. “I thought you might like it.”

Claire saw that it was the card that Amy had been working on all day, ever since she found out that Rose’s family was coming. She had looked over Amy’s shoulder at one point and had been surprised to see that she was drawing a stark, barren tree with no leaves on its branches. That was not the kind of picture Amy usually drew.

“Read it out loud,” Amy said.

“Thank you,” Rose said. “I will be happy to.”

Dreams

Dreams are made of heart and soul

More precious than diamonds or gold.

Some dreams get broken and frayed

Leaving your heart lonely and betrayed

Left not knowing where to stand

You reach up for a helping hand

A strong hand and maybe angels, too.

He said, “Follow, I’ll lead you there.

I know it’s hard to see it true

But I have better plans for you

The road may be long and rough,

But lean on me, and it won’t be so tough.

Soon the sun will light your path,

And a dream will blossom,

One that will last.

Claire saw her sister’s chin tremble.

“Thank you, Amy. I needed that poem today.”

Amy, with eyes entirely too wise for her age, said, “I thought you might.”

•   •   •

“These green beans are outstanding, Claire,” Rose said. “How many quarts have you and the girls canned so far this year?”

“Only four dozen. I’ll get another good picking in a few days and the girls and I should be able to double that.”

“That’s good.”

Silence fell on the table, and it was not the first time. Tom could tell that Claire and her sister were struggling to keep a conversation going. Now they gave up and simply ate their meal. Even the children seemed subdued.

He had been introduced only as Claire’s renter. Within those boundaries, there was little he could contribute to the dinner conversation. Henry didn’t even try.

Tom had gone to the hardware store in Mt. Hope several times since he’d seen Henry catching a ride there, but had never caught him there again. He could still kick himself for having almost run out of gas that day. He didn’t know what he could do about it if he found out what Henry was up to, but at least he could give Claire something to work with.

Henry finished his plate and pushed it aside. They had been seated next to each other, and Tom saw Henry, with his hands now unoccupied, flicking his right wrist beneath the table as he gazed out a window.

It was one of the oddest mannerisms he had ever seen, and
yet it was familiar. He had known a soldier who had developed the same strange behavior.

“How about me and you outside and walk off some of this good food?” he suggested. “While the women clean up the dishes.”

“What?” Henry looked startled. “Oh. Sure.”

Tom led him toward the barn, chatting about inconsequential things, but the minute they walked inside and were out of sight of the house, he slammed his cousin up against a stall.

“How dare you do this to your family?”

“Wh—what?” Henry looked dazed.

Tom grabbed him by the shirt collar and shook him. “How dare you allow your wife and children to go hungry? How dare you lose the good farm your father handed over to you free and clear? I thought you were smarter than that, Henry. I can’t believe you’ve been this stupid.”

“What are you talking about?” Henry struggled to get away. “Who are you, anyway?”

“Tell me how you lost it. Blackjack? Poker? Slot machines? Playing the ponies?”

Henry’s eyes grew wide. “How did you know? And who are you?”

“That thing you were doing with your wrist at the supper table. You were throwing dice, weren’t you? Visualizing it in your mind? Or is it because you’ve tossed so many dice you can’t stop throwing them, even when they aren’t there? I bet you can’t even tell me what you were eating, and Claire’s worked on that supper all day.”

“Get off me!” Henry shoved him away.

Tom came right back at him, so furious he felt like he could tear the man apart. “You deserve a beating for what you’ve done. Do you know that?” He grabbed him by the
collar again. “Do you realize your wife was here, trying to sell her favorite china to get enough money to buy groceries? Claire gave her four hundred dollars that she couldn’t afford to give. How long did it take you to gamble that much away? Five minutes? Ten?”