Hidden Mortality (16 page)

He stood and tilted up her chin. His eyes filled with concern as if he’d done something to upset her. “What’s wrong?”

“My scar from my operation, my body, and me in general. That’s it, I’m going to ban mirrors from my bedroom.” She shook her head and for a moment considered this had been a foolish idea.

He pulled his t-shirt over his head. She gasped. His chest was criss-crossed with scars. There was also a nasty red mark on his left shoulder. Her fingers touched the marks. He trembled.

She bit her bottom lip thinking of the pain he must have endured. “How did you get hurt?”

“It doesn’t matter now but you need to know your scar doesn’t matter to me. I only wish I could’ve helped you with your pain.”

Her hands traced the scars till her fingers touched the waist of his bike-pants.

“I want you, Cara.”

He could have no idea what effect those three words would have on her. Feeling emboldened by his statement, she pushed him back on the bed and unzipped the pants. She pulled them off, pulling his boxers with them.

“I’m sorry.” She tried to stifle a giggle but it didn’t work. He was aroused and he was magnificent.

He sat up and smirked. “I had this image of us having a slow intense experience. From the way you undressed me, you can see I’m eager. Don’t just stand there. Please.”

He sat on the edge of her bed, naked and incredible. His eyes looked like those of a carnivore about to devour its prey as he stared at her. What was holding her back?
If he goes in the morning at least you will have had sex. From the look and size of him, it will be great.

Her track record of choosing the right man wasn’t good. She didn’t know that much about him. She had a few one-night stands over the years, men that she had known even less about. Was she afraid he wouldn’t match the dream lover she knew so well? She really needed to stop thinking and act.

He reached out and took her hand. “That day you came to my home something came alive in me again. I won’t hurt you. I promise.” He lay down on the bed.

Her breath was rapid. She stretched out on the bed beside him. He took her hand and kissed the palm, then her wrist, and slowly made his way up her arm. Each kiss, each touch sent little sparks of excitement through her. Easing her onto her back, he lay on top of her and she reveled in the way his body felt so right with hers. Her stomach turned to jelly at the thought that he was naked and on top of her at long last.

Feeling him hard against her, she opened her legs and wrapped them around his thighs. His hands eased around her back and undid her bra, flinging it across the room. He stared at her breasts as he supported himself on his arms. It had been so long since anyone had looked at her that way. It was wonderful.

His tongue gently explored from her neck to her left nipple making her sigh with contentment. His lips closed on the nipple and nibbled. Shivers rippled through her. She ran her hands up and down his back with a feather light touch. When she found a spot that made his skin turn to goose bumps, he arched his back and pressed against her. His kisses returned to her mouth parting her lips and his tongue fought passionately with hers.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered huskily against her skin. Rolling to her side, he hooked his finger in one side of her knickers and edged them down. Cara’s hand instinctively went to her scar just above her hair.

“Let me see.”

The dark pink line ran across her lower abdomen. He traced it with his finger. Then he bent and kissed her scar from one side to the other. “There is nothing you need to hide. I want you in front of me so I can see all of you.”

As his finger entered her, she let out a gasp. .

“Cara you’re so wet, so ready for me.” He caressed each fold and gently moved his finger in and out of her as she moved with him. Meanwhile, his kisses continued across her face, her eyelids, and her neck. Her hands roamed his body. When she encircled his shaft and squeezed gently, he groaned.

She moved her hand slowly back and forth as he massaged her clitoris and caused tiny sensations until she caught her breath. She needed him inside her.

He sat up and pulled her to him. She sat on his thighs with her legs circling him. He leaned forward and kissed her neck and breasts. She moved. His hardness pressed against her tummy. She smiled as she watched his face as his hands explored her body. He looked as if he was drugged on her. His lids almost closed. Leaning forward he sucked hard on one nipple, then the other. It caused the ache at her core to intensify. He trailed kisses back to her lips.

Feeling him hard between her legs, she couldn’t wait anymore, she lifted up until she kneeled on him. She leaned slightly forward so she could feel the head of his shaft press against her opening. She yearned for him. He slid in easily. Both of them groaned. The more she moved, the more intense the sensations became. She wanted to become part of him, to be lost in him.

Then he reached down. He touched her clitoris. Sensations wracked her body. The feeling of power and energy flowed through her. She arched her back and screamed in release. He kissed her, staking a passionate claim.

Withdrawing from her, he gently rolled her onto her back. He kissed her neck and mouth and lay on top of her. When she nodded, he entered her again. He might be holding his body off of her because of his size but it didn’t stop him as he thrust forward until the complete length of him was inside her. It was the most glorious thing that had ever happened to her. To be so completely connected felt perfect. She’d been waiting all her life for this.

She ran her hands down his back and placed them on his buttocks. He needed no encouragement. His movements before had been slow. Now, he didn’t hesitate. He plunged deeply inside her again and again. She curled her legs about him, drawing him deeper. He groaned in release. His movements slowed.

Finally, they lay still, wrapped around each other. She didn’t move. She didn’t want the moment to end as he pulsed inside of her. Breathing heavily, their chests rose and fell in unison. If sex was like this every time, she’d be constantly exhausted. But oh my God, it would be worth it.

He rolled off her and leaned on one elbow. His face wasn’t filled with passion or laughter. He looked sad. It wasn’t the expression she had expected after what they had just done.

“What’s wrong, Seth?”

“I lost myself, Cara. I thought I’d hurt you.”

She giggled. “I don’t mean to laugh, but I have no complaints. You were magnificent.”

“Thank you for the compliment. I don’t want you to feel that I underestimate the gift you’ve given me.”

“You made me feel beautiful for the first time in a long time. If this is where my life is taking me, it’s a marvelous place.”

“If you get some sleep, maybe we can go back there again.”

“I’ll keep you to that.”

It was easy to fall asleep with him curled behind her. His strong naked body felt warm and comforting. She didn’t care if this was love or lust. At this moment, everything felt safe and good. Her queen size bed was full for the first time in a long time. His arm draped over her waist and she took his hand in hers.

She felt his warm breath on her neck. She listened to the steady sound of his breathing as it lulled her toward sleep. She wouldn’t dream about him tonight. In fact, the dreams were nothing in comparison to reality.

Chapter 17

Nanna had always said that the best way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Cara decided she would cook Seth breakfast. Did she want his heart? That was too big a question to contend with right now. She certainly wanted his body.

Easing out of bed, she pulled on her undies and grabbed her dressing gown. Merlin ignored her and refused to eat breakfast when she measured cat food into his dish. He stalked out of the kitchen to the front room. He really didn’t like her sharing her bed with another male.

The coffee had finished brewing. She stirred the pancake batter and glanced at the bedroom when the door opened. Seth wore his bike pants and t-shirt. Her heart sank.

“You’re going? I was making pancakes.” How pathetic did she sound?

He walked over and put his arms around her waist. He pulled her close. She loved having his body next to her.

“I’m not going anywhere, except down to my bike. I’ve got some clean clothes in the top box. I didn’t think your neighbors would appreciate me walking out naked.”

“No, but I would.” Cara giggled. “Hang on. If you brought a spare set of clothes, it sounds as though you were pretty sure about getting lucky. I’m not sure I approve.” She pulled a snooty expression and pursed her lips.

“I won’t lie. I hoped. The clothes are there because of Janet. She has a thing about not leaving home without a set of clean underwear. You know she’s probably reorganized the whole gallery of that poor man in Paris.”

“I’ll let you off then, but somehow I don’t think he was poor.”

It was wonderful to have someone to share breakfast. She enjoyed watching him eat. She wanted to go back to bed with him. Why did it have to be Saturday? It was always their busiest night.

Opening her business diary she saw they had a dinner party at eight for twelve guests. Tomorrow was worse with a lunch and dinner. She would have to start preparing soon.

“I’ll clean this up. You go and have your shower.” She wanted to join him. Maybe she would. As she went to turn the handle of the bathroom door, the intercom buzzed. Cara thumped the button. “Yes.” She tried to keep the frustration out of her voice.

“It’s Matcher.”

Opening her flat door, she saw him coming up the stairs. He was dressed in black as usual. His hair covered half of his face.

“Want some coffee?” She wanted to send him away. It seemed childish but the short time with Seth had been a break from reality.

“Sure. Thanks.” Matcher glanced towards the bathroom as he answered. “Did you leave the shower going?”

“No, I had someone stay over.” She knew Matcher cared about her, but she wanted this time with Seth. He wasn’t really as frightening as he looked. Anyway she was an adult. She could choose who shared her bed.

“Why are you here so early?” Cara inquired.

“I was on my way into town. I wanted to ask a favor. Daniel told me that you have this big housewarming party coming up and you’re looking for extra staff. Well…”

Matcher started fidgeting. He bit one of his nails.

“I met someone. I wondered if she could get some work. She wants to move out of home and needs some extra cash.” Matcher went red. The shower stopped running.

“I’ll have to meet her, but if you vouch for her, it will probably be okay. I’ll need a couple of references.”

“I didn’t give you any.”

“That’s true enough, but if the silverware goes missing, you pay.”

Matcher didn’t smile at the weak joke. He stared towards the bathroom. “It’s him, isn’t it?”

Matcher didn’t wait for an answer. He tapped on the bench top with his fingers. “You did a meal for two for him last night. What did he do? Dump her and follow you home.”

“Back off, Matcher. It was a business dinner. His guest couldn’t make it. Why did she bother? Matcher didn’t act as if he was listening. Instead, he watched Seth leave the bathroom. “Anyway, it was good Seth followed me home because the intruder showed up again.”

“Did you call the cops?” Matcher turned back towards Cara.

“Seth dealt with him. It was actually somebody I knew a while back. He won’t return,” Cara replied.

Seth walked over. “Hello, I’m Seth Scanlon.” He held out his hand, but Matcher didn’t take up the offer.

“This is Matcher. You’ll have seen him at the function at The Crescent. I’m going to have a shower. Try to be nice to each other.” Cara shook her head as she walked away.

The hot water coursing down her back made her feel refreshed. If Matcher hadn’t been there, she’d want to get sweaty all over again. If she walked out after her shower and Seth was gone, she knew she would be hurt and angry. She didn’t care what Matcher saw in Seth’s aura. She wanted that feeling from last night back again. It made all the other pain in her life bearable.

She hadn’t heard the intercom while she was in the shower. Daniel was there when she walked in the front room. He looked a mess. Had he slept in his jeans and T-shirt? His hair was all over the place. When he glanced her way, she saw dark circles under his eyes.

“What happened?” Cara asked. “What’s wrong?”

Seth was pouring a mug of coffee for Daniel. Matcher eyed Seth as if he had put poison in the cup instead of cream. Daniel hugged her. She felt him shaking.

“Jeff’s in hospital. He got sick last night. I called for help. The ambulance came. They thought his appendix had exploded.”

“Is he all right now?” Cara asked. If there was one thing she knew about, it was hospitals.

“They said he arrived just in time. He looked so bad. He even looked sort of pale, which was odd for a black guy. Oh God, I thought I was going to lose him. I don’t know what I’d do if I did.”

“He’s going to be fine. You have us here. He’s where he needs to be right now.” Cara pushed Daniel into a chair.

“But what about the dinner?”

“I can deal with that. You need to go home. Get some rest. Then, you can come back and help me get ready. Matcher and I will do the party. He has been helping with the plating up recently. Matcher has a friend who will help with the serving. You can go back and spend the evening with Jeff at the hospital. He’ll probably be out of it for most of the day anyway. Matcher will go back with you. Won’t you?”

Matcher nodded. Cara looked around. Seth was no longer there. “I’m going to get dressed. I’ll be back in a second.”

As she walked into the bedroom, she saw Seth pulling on his leather jacket.

“You’re leaving?” She heard the lost puppy sound in her voice. He smiled. He walked over and pulled her close, his arms around her waist. Every time they came around her, the world seemed solid. His lips were on hers encouraging her to open to him which she did willingly. She was breathless when he broke off the kiss.

“Trust me, I want you in bed all day. At the moment, you have friends that need you and a business to run. I want to see you again, don’t doubt that.”

“I’ll call you when things are calmer. Knowing my life, it might be a while.”

Seth grabbed his bag and shoved his clothing inside. “Matcher doesn’t like me, does he?” He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on his boots.

“He worries about me. He doesn’t see you in the same way I do, but he’ll come around.” Cara hoped her statement sounded convincing.

“I’m rather glad he’s not seen me in the way you have.” Seth chuckled.

With a quick kiss farewell, he headed back to the main room. He nodded, said goodbye to the others and left. Cara missed him already.

Daniel came over and hugged her. “He scares the shit out of me every time I look at him. He’s brought a smile to your face. After last night I appreciate that. Matcher thinks he’s in league with the devil. That’s if Matcher believes in the devil. I’m not sure if he does. Do you?”

“I know you both think I’m crazy with my aura stuff,” Matcher said, indignantly, “but he’s not right.”

“That’s an understatement. He’s like Vin Diesel on a bad day. I like my men big and dark, but not like that.” Daniel laughed. It was a weak, unconvincing sound of amusement.

“I understand what you say about him. When he’s around, I feel safe.” Cara said. “I’m going to brush my teeth. Matcher, tell Daniel about your friend. Didn’t you say that her name was Rachel?”

There was nothing like someone being in a new relationship to get Daniel going. It might stop him worrying. If his attention was off Seth and her, it could only be for the better. Was she being stupid? She didn’t really know Seth. Her feelings when she was with him were so intense. Lately, there had only been bad things happening in her life. Being with him felt so good. The sex last night should have been illegal.

She walked back out of the bathroom ready to work. Daniel was loading the mugs and plates in the dishwasher while Matcher wiped down the counters. She’d trained them well. Now, she had to get on with everything else.

Saturday passed in a blur. At midnight while she put the away the crockery, she thought about ringing Seth. The mind was so willing. She knew she would be asleep by the time he arrived.

Sunday wasn’t much better. Daniel helped with the preparation. Then, he headed off to the Bristol Royal Infirmary. If Seth were in hospital instead of Jeff, she would be by his bedside. She was starting to fall for Seth way too quickly. Yet, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. How many people had a dream lover come to life?

It was Monday morning. If Seth said he was too busy for her, she would sit down with a glass of chardonnay and cry. Touching his business card and phoning his number made her breath quicken. It was an answer machine.

“Hi, it’s Cara. By the way, I hate these machines. I’m free tonight. Life’s been a bit hectic over the weekend as you can imagine. If you’re free, call me.”

If he didn’t phone back, then she knew where she stood. She really did believe that he was as keen on her as she was on him. She had made that mistake in the past, but she didn’t think she was this time. Sipping her coffee, she willed the phone to ring.

It didn’t but she nearly jumped off the couch when the intercom buzzed. It was the postman. The package he held looked heavy from the grimace on his face. Carrying the parcel upstairs, she noticed the stamps had Eire on them. Putting the package on the breakfast bar, she tried to see the return address. It was Nanna’s solicitors in Killarney. Her stomach did a little flip at what it might contain.

She got scissors and opened the cardboard box. Inside, she found a wooden chest and an envelope. The solicitor’s letter apologized for the delay in sending her the chest. The will had held up things. Her hand went to the necklace she wore all the time now. She needed to look for the stag necklace again. She would never forgive herself if she lost it. She placed the chest on the coffee table in the lounge room.

I won’t cry
, she told herself. She felt the tears coming anyway. For once she managed to keep them under control. The chest was about two feet long by eighteen inches wide and high. Its curved top, brass corners and lock made her think of a scaled-down version of a pirate’s chest. Cara turned the key. The lock clicked. She peered inside, feeling an ache in her heart. The woman who packed away these keepsakes was gone.

First, Cara found a pile of fine embroidered handkerchiefs. She picked up one. She smelled the lavender Nanna always put on them. Cara removed the handkerchiefs. Next, she found two frames holding old black and white photographs of Nanna and Pops, then a picture of their wedding. He looked so handsome in his suit and her dress had been simple yet so pretty.

Something big wrapped in tissue paper filled the next layer. Cara gasped when she opened it to discover Nanna’s wedding dress. It was no longer white, but a cream color. The lace and silk were still beautiful.

Finally, the box contained a small leather-bound notebook. Cara turned to the first page and started to read. The italic writing was beautiful.

‘
My name is Margaret Turner. This is for those who’ll come after me. This isn’t just about me, but my sister Rosie who was murdered. I was born in 1825, she was born in 1823. Mother took in laundry. We helped out. Father was a chimney sweep and my brother worked with him.

It was a hard life but we all got by. Then Rosie married and moved away. I couldn’t blame her for getting out. I would have if I could. When I was sixteen our father died and my brother followed not long after. The soot made them cough up blood. We had to find more money so I started to work the streets.

It was hard the first time, but then I saw my mother’s smiling face when I gave her the money. She spent it all on grog and died in the gutter. Rosie didn’t know what I was doing. When she found out, she took me to live with her.

She was special. She had the healing touch. People would come and see her, but she never charged them. I think it gave her happiness. There was never much love between Rosie and her man. He was just her way out.

She used to smile though when she spoke of the man she did love. He was a blacksmith. They met too late. She was married and then when her man died, the smith was wed. When his wife died in childbirth, Rosie was blamed because she helped at the delivery. It wasn’t her fault the woman and her baby both passed.

After Rosie’s husband died, the local landowner took a shine to her. He used to beat her up a bit. She said it didn’t matter as long as we had a roof over our heads. He beat her so badly one night that she stabbed and killed him. I knew nothing but the streets. It was all I had to offer as a way to survive.