âYou getting something to eat?' I call after him.
âNo time, Chef,' Jesse replies. âI've got to get larder prepped up.'
âWell, boys,' I say to Soda and Choc. âThe team's back on.'
âSee you in there, Chef,' Soda says as he gathers up the dirty plates.
âI'm going to phone a kitchen hand!' I call after Soda and Choc.
âRighto, Chef,' Choc calls back. Soda has already disappeared up the tunnel that leads to the kitchen, chasing news from Jesse. Soda will want to smooth things over with his friend, reassure him that the respect is still there, that the fight they had after service is forgotten. And because of the status Jesse has with the boys, Choc and Soda will hang off his every word and study his every move to make sure that order has returned to their world.
I sit inside the Moroccan hut for longer than I should. Relief anchors me to the seat. Alice sends through another text:
I'm scared something is going to break
. And I'm amazed that she's not reading the signs. She would have checked out the ad in the paper by now and know which job I'm talking about.
I'm out of here in a couple of weeks, babeâtops!
I text her back, and hear myself sigh deeply as I slump further into the cool cement folds of the seat. I will miss this place but I'm also relieved about the idea of getting my life back.
Please be careful
, she writes.
And I've always trusted Alice's emotional radar; she taught me everything I know about what it means to feel . . . but it's worrying me that she's saying this now, because last time we broached the subject of me leaving Rae's, I was insisting on a few more months; get through the high season, see out summer and wave the kids back to school. And now, just when I tell her I'm leaving in a week or two, she starts peaking out.
Be CAREFUL
, she repeats, then,
I love you!
And now I'm really worried, because these are all the usual signs that mean I should grab my knives and head out the gate, asking questions later.
I'm serious about leaving next week
, I write.
Day off tomorrow, let's talk then
.
Okay, see you tonight
, comes the response.
And I figure she's just bringing me down before I get home. She hates it when it takes me a whole day to unwind enough to play with the kids or discuss things with her. And I hate it too, but my body . . . my body knows who's boss. It's looking forward to a couple of long weeks lulling about some cool ocean shallows. Nothing too vigorous, just sand and sun and water and fun.
But right now, I need to prepare for service tonight. And what that entails is not just a lot of knife work and pare cooking and sauce preparation, it's also an energy thing. For the guests who are dining here this evening, the prospect of dinner at Rae's is something they've been looking forward to. They may have organised a sitter for the kids or booked a table six months ago or even saved up for the experience. Dinner at Rae's is not inexpensive, particularly if you like to drink wine or champagne. And ninety-five percent of our clientele know thatâthey expect to pay at least a couple of hundred dollars per headâbut for one couple out in the restaurant tonight, this meal is going to be a once-in-a-year event, something they've saved money for and dreamt about. It's the pressure of that, of all the various expectations and swirling desires and moments of anticipated pleasure that function as a motivating force, which compels me out of my comfortable seat and into the office to organise a kitchen hand.
Carla agrees to operate as our dishwasher tonight because she wants a start in the kitchen as a chef. In previous careers, Carla has worked as a television actress, a lingerie model and a waitress. Carla's not your usual kitchen job applicant in that she's platinum blonde, early thirties and turning heads is still her primary occupation. Initially I was deeply sceptical about Carla and it took some prodding from Vinnie before I agreed that she could try out as a kitchen hand. I even agreed that if she was still turning up to work in the galley after a few months I might consider training her as a mature-age apprentice chef.
My reticence about taking on Carla is founded on twenty-something years of experience in a whole lot of different kitchens. It's experience that tells me people generally start out in kitchens when they're young, then move on to other careers as they get a little older, rather than the other way around. And they do this because the life of a chef, particularly an apprentice chef or a chef lower down the kitchen hierarchy, is physically demanding and often thankless. Carla never did strike me as someone who was going to cope with such a reality. To my surprise, though, she took on the role of kitchen hand with dedication and enthusiasm. She never stopped telling me or anyone else who'd listen she was only doing it to get a start as a chef, but nonetheless she impressed with her attention to detail and a capacity to say yes to starting work at ridiculously short notice. Whenever someone does that enough times, which is to say they take one for the team by agreeing to spend their night cleaning the kitchen, the possibility of something radicalâlike a little respect from the other chefsâbecomes a possibility.
When I phoned her to ask her to come in tonight, she said she would but that I needed to start thinking about a position on the line for her, something regular. It wasn't a threat, it's just the way it is; if a person gets some skills in the kitchen they realise that if things turn to shit or they get sick of a place they can move on and employ those skills somewhere else. And while she wasn't able to do Jesse's job if he walked out or didn't turn up to work one dayâor suddenly got sackedâthe other boys were more than capable of sliding up the line so that Carla could start down on pastry and help out in larder. Such a job description was a full-time position and she was more than keen.
âHey, Chefs,' Carla greets everyone as she enters the kitchen, grabbing a piece of fresh picked crab that Jesse is working on in the larder section.
âYou want some sauce with that?' Jesse asks her.
âYou keep it, Chef,' she replies. âWouldn't want you to run out.'
âHow much weight have you put on since you started here, Carla?' Jesse continues, feigning concern.
âWell, let's see. Over the last three months while I've been covering your arse, I've probably put on about three kilos, Jesse.'
âThree!' Jesse laughs. âWhat comes after ten, Carla?'
âYou sweetheart.' Carla grins and then ramps up the dishwasher so that any reply is drowned out. She cups her hand over her ear and looks at Jesse, who is saying something in response, but shakes her head to let him know she can't hear him.
Like I said, the boys will learn. Carla's been around some different city blocks to these boys, even if they've been in a whole lot more kitchens. As a rule I don't attempt to shut down the piss-taking and the banter too early because I find that if a head chef does that, tensions come out sideways and in between things: people start forging weird allegiances and cliques that exclude some and elevate others. Fuck that; let some of the heat and tension which builds between any group of people dissipate during service and the team is all the better for it.
âOne hour until service, people!' I call out.
âYes, Chef,' they reply.
âChoc, how's pastry section looking?'
âFucked, Chef,' replies Choc. âWe need a new coconut cake and vanilla ice cream and . . . everything else.'
âI liked you better when you didn't swear, Choc. Please, mate, for the children, keep it clean.'
âYes, Chef.' Choc is pissed off that he's been left to pick up the mess that the pastry section always is.
âCarla,' I yell down to the galley, âgive Choc a hand for an hour before service.'
âI've got a lot of dishes to get through here, Chef,' she replies.
âTwo words, Carla,' I call back to her.
âYes, Chef,' she yells back, like,
what would I know?
And that's just who Carla is. She overcompensates in all her communication because she's thirty-something and just starting out in the kitchen. And it's probably got something to do with the fact she looks like Marilyn Monroe and isn't married to some banker. Most fairytales would cast Carla as a guest of the hotel rather than our kitchen hand tonight. But that's not my problem.
âYou need a tissue, love?' Jesse asks Carla.
âFuck off, Jesse,' says Carla.
âChef,' Jesse calls over to me, âCarla's being mean to me.'
âListen up, people,' I warn everyone. âDuring service tonight I don't want to hear any voices other than mine, okay?'
âYes, Chef,' they chorus.
âYou're the voice . . .' Scotty calls into the kitchen as he dumps off the empty platter and plates from Vinnie's table.
âTry and understand it,' I say, finishing the line that I'm fond of saying.
âVinnie's leaving before the bill hits the table. I think his new friends might get a nasty little surprise there.' Scotty laughs.
âI thought he was buying them lunch?' I say.
âI think they did too.'
âThey coming back for dinner?' I ask him.
âNo chance,' Scotty says. âElle's in town, apparently, and they want to go somewhere decent for dinner.' Which is a joke that Vinnie likes to serve cold to the chefs at Rae's when he chooses to entertain visiting celebrities at one of the other fine-dining restaurants in town.
âAre you tagging along, Scotty?' I ask.
âI might go down for a beer after work,' says Scotty in a very noncommittal tone.
âReally, mate, I didn't think Elle was your type.'
âParis will probably be there,' Scotty adds with all the nonchalance he can muster.
âYeah, and she might need a butler,' chimes in Jesse.
âFuck off, Jesse,' Scotty replies. âIf I want your opinion I'll ask a chef.'
âOh, that hurts.' Jesse points his knife into his chest. âReally, Scotty, that gets right in there.' And Jesse appears to actually dig his knife hard into his chest, coughing a couple of times from his efforts.
âGo easy, Jesse,' I suggest.
âYou're such a fuckwit, Jesse,' Carla adds. âIf everyone's going to the Beachie after work, I'll come down with you, Scotty.'
As far as Scotty's fantasies go in regards to impossible dates with beautiful women, this is as close to scoring a bullseye as he's thrown in a while.
âYou're such a slut, Carla,' Jesse says in a high-pitched squeal.
âOh, that's so sweet! That's what your daddy said,' Carla fires back.
âBack to work, people. I don't give a fuck what you do after service tonight but right now I want you to focus on your sections and make sure they are completely fucking set. If anyone runs out of anything, I am going to take it personally. Does everyone understand?' I yell louder than is necessary because I want to call their attention to the tasks at hand.
âYes, Chef!'
Scotty takes his cue and disappears out of the kitchen.
âSoda, get over here on woks now. Jesse, are you all right over there?' I ask.
âYes, Chef,' replies Jesse. âCan I go back on my section tomorrow, Chef?'
âSee, here's the thing, Jesse. You and I, my friend, have a day off tomorrow and these scumbags don't. And tomorrow,' I remind him, âis just a day away.'
âYes!' Jesse sounds ecstatic. âI almost forgot.'
âWell, get cracking, mate. Carla, are you on larder tomorrow?' I ask.
âProbably,' she replies. âI'll be anywhere Joseph puts me.'
âThat'll be on your knees,' replies Jesse.
âYou're sounding more like your daddy every day, sweetheart,' Carla says. âIs he out of jail yet?'
And as a tactic, Carla's use of Jesse's father as a comeback is both clever and dangerous. No one knows too much about Jesse's father, including Jesse, and for Carla to be going there . . . well, it's opening a door into the unknown. And Jesse is starting to tense up.
âJesse,' I suggest, âgo have a cigarette before service. Which means a four-minute break. Everyone can go for a quick smoke before dinner, one at a time, okay?'
âYes, Chef,' everyone calls back, except Jesse, who has already gone.
âCarla,' I say, âgo easy, for chrissake.'
âHe'll learn,' she says.
âHe's got a bit going on at the moment, Carla,' adds Soda.
âHe's a big boy, darling,' Carla coos across the kitchen to Soda.
Carla and Soda are like a special club of two, each of them born with something special that most folks don't get. The thing that divides them, though, is that Carla's good looks, wit and charm are about fifteen years more used up than Soda'sâand Soda knows enough about life to know he doesn't want to end up where she is now.
âWhy do you always stick up for him anyway, Soda?' asks Carla, with her serious face on.
âI don't know.' Soda shrugs. âWe're on the line together.'
âThat doesn't mean he's always right about things,' she says.
âI know that,' Soda says, getting irritated. âIt's just the way it is. He sticks up for me and I stick up for him.'
âHe wouldn't stick up for you like you do for him,' Carla persists.
âJust do the dishes, Carla,' Soda says, cool as ice. âI don't want to talk about Jesse or me or anything else.
Just do your job and keep your trap shut.'
And it's not as if Carla hasn't heard it all before. Soda's the only person in the kitchen who can talk to her like that. They've got each other figured out and I don't interrupt them. The thing about Carla is that she's a talker, and what she talks about is the same thing a lot of women like to talk about, which is people. And relationships. And it confuses the hell out of the boys, who would rather not talk at all than discuss that stuff. For a moment Carla doesn't say anything. Which makes everyone happy. And in the silence, we all catch a fleeting glimpse of how stressed out we are, and how much further we've got to go in order to get through the rest of this crazy high season.