Higher Than Eagles (Donovans of the Delta) (16 page)

He sank beside the road and put his head in his hands. Shame poured through him. For the first time in his life he had used a woman. And not just any woman. Rachel. He had tried to bury his hatred in the torrid flesh of the woman he loved.

His body jerked. Not love, his mind screamed. He didn’t love her anymore. She’d destroyed all that. He lifted his fist and shook it at the moon. The moon had no right to be so beautiful when his life was so ugly and wretched.

He rose slowly and started back to the encampment. He was bone weary, and his time was limited. He’d squandered too much already. He couldn’t afford to go back to the fire without any sleep. Too many lives depended on him.

When he got back to the shack, Rachel was sleeping. In the pale light that filtered through the windows he could see a tear that was not yet dry on her cheek. Remorse shot through him.

Bending down, he touched his lips to her temple. It was damp with sweat.

“I’m sorry, Rachel,” he whispered.

The faint scent of roses drifted around him.

CHAPTER NINE

The sound was soft—a footstep on the floor—but it brought Rachel completely awake. She sat up, pulling the sheet over her breasts, and watched Jacob dress. It was not quite dawn.

He hadn’t noticed her yet, and he was taking great care not to awaken her. She almost smiled. She’d never seen a big man tiptoe. As he pulled on his pants and shirt, she thought of the many other times she’d watched him dress. Happy times. Jacob had always been laughing and joking about how he needed her help. He’d cajole her out of a warm bed with his smile, then they would both be right back under the covers, tangled together in his shirt and giggling as only people in love can.

She wished she had some magic to bring back the past. Propping her elbow on her knees, she feasted her eyes on him.

A sense of being watched made Jacob spin around. When he first saw her, with her tumbled hair and love-flushed face, he felt a surge of joy. Then the ugly truth came pouring through him.

“Rachel.” He nodded curtly toward her, as if he were acknowledging a stranger. “I’m glad you’re awake.”

His cold tone squashed any hope she might have had.

“We need to talk, Jacob.”

His smile was bitter. “Yes, we do. But I think it’s best if you stay on that side of the room, and I stay on this side. We always seem to get sidetracked.”

She hugged her knees, taking courage from the solid feel of her own flesh. “I won’t make excuses for what I did, Jacob. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness and hope for your understanding.”

Forgiveness doesn’t come easily for a man with a raw and gaping wound. Jacob knew that and accepted it. At the moment he thought forgiveness might never come.

“You want me to absolve you of guilt and let you get on with your life. Is that about it, Rachel?”

“No. I want you in my life.”

“You want a miracle.”

“You could say that. I love you, Jacob. I want you to know that.”

“You’re a great actress. You almost make me believe you.”

“It’s not like that!” She swung her feet over the side of the bed.

“Stay where you are.” Jacob stalked across the room and jerked up the sheet. Lifting Rachel by the shoulders, he wrapped the sheet around her. “Keep that damned sheet on and don’t move.”

Turning around, he stalked to the other side of the room and sat down.

“Tell me about my son, Rachel.”

“What do you want to know?” She sat on the edge of the bed.

“What was the first word he spoke? Who was there to see him take his first step? Did he cry at night, and who comforted him if he did? Who read bedtime stories to him? Was it Bob? Did Bob Devlin do all those things for my son?”

Rachel met the cold fury in his eyes with a level gaze. “His first word was baba. That’s baby talk for bottle. Food was infinitely more fascinating to him than either of his parents.” She realized her mistake when she saw the way his face darkened.

“Go on.”

“He’s always had a sunny disposition. He never cried at night unless he was wet or hungry. We were both there for him, Jacob. Even though Bob knew Benjy was your son, he loved him as devotedly as if he had been the natural father.”

“He’d damned well better have.”

“Vashti was there too. She and I took turns reading the bedtime stories. As Bob’s health failed, he felt less and less like taking time with Benjy. But Benjy was always loved, Jacob.”

“It shows. He’s a great kid.” Jacob stood up. “I intend to be a part of my son’s life, Rachel.”

“He’s just a little boy!” Holding her sheet around her, she jumped up from the bed and whirled to face him. “I won’t let you embroil him in a nasty legal battle.”

Jacob came toward her and gripped her shoulders. Hauling her close, he glared into her face.

“Do you think I’d do that to my son? Do you think I’d hire lawyers and treat him like a piece of property?”

She looked into his eyes and saw the pain.

“No, Jacob,” she said quietly. “You’re much too kind and generous to do that to Benjy.”

He released her and stepped back. In the face of her reasonableness, his rage began to ebb.

“You and I can work out the details when I get back to the States. The only advice I want from professionals is in knowing the right time to tell Benjy I’m his father.”

“I’ve thought of that too.”

Her reply took him by surprise. “You have?”

“Yes. Over the years I came to realize that I had denied Benjy the right of knowing what a wonderful man his natural father is. He deserves to know his bloodlines, his ancestry.”

The sheet trailed behind her as she walked to the window. Pale fingers of light were beginning to brush across the horizon.

“Children are very adaptable, Jacob. I will work with you on this.” She turned from the window to face him.

“Rachel” —Jacob started to reach out, and then he lowered his hand— “I’m sorry for last night. There’s no excuse for the way I treated you. All I can do is promise you it won’t happen again.”

“You were hurting.”

“I still am.”

“So am I.”

“Every time we come together, we make a mess of things, don’t we?”

“We’re only human, Jacob.”

Jacob realized that the soul-blistering wrath he’d felt was gone. His shoulders sagged. All he felt now was a deep sadness and extreme fatigue. He began to put on his asbestos gear.

“You’re going back to the fire?”

“Yes.” He snapped his suit into place and picked up his headgear. “You’ll be gone when I get back.”

She said nothing, knowing she would not be gone. He took her silence for acquiescence.

“Goodbye, Rachel.”

“May the wind be beneath your wings, Jacob.”

His head snapped back around, and they exchanged a long, deep look. Then he was gone.

 o0o

Rachel dressed quickly after Jacob had left. She found some oatmeal packets and made herself a small breakfast. Not that she was hungry. In fact, the thought of food almost made her sick, but she knew she had to keep up her strength to fight Jacob. And that’s exactly what she intended to do. She’d fight Jacob Donovan every step of the way. She’d fight his anger, his accusations, his false beliefs. She’d battle with him until she won.

This was not about Benjy anymore. They’d settle that peacefully. Rachel was fighting for love now. The prize she wanted to win was Jacob Donovan himself. This time, she vowed fiercely, she wouldn’t let him go.

She was washing her cereal bowl in the small sink when the door opened. The man who came through was blond and lean and handsome. He stopped just inside the door when he saw her.

“Pardon me. I didn’t know anyone was here.”

“I’m Rachel Devlin.” She watched him closely when she told her name. He knew of her. She could tell by the play of emotions on his face. She decided that curiosity was the dominant emotion.

“Rick McGill, Jacob’s right-hand man and friend.” He came into the room and walked straight to a chair. “You don’t mind if I sit down, do you? It’s been a hell of a night.”

His smile was quick and easy. Rachel liked him.

“Please do, Rick. I’d like to get to know you.” She sat down opposite him.

Rick leaned across the table, his brown eyes intent.

“Let’s not pretend with each other, Rachel. I don’t know you, but I know about you, and I know that Jacob is going through the tortures of the damned. He’s my friend. Although you’re a beautiful woman with a charming smile, I’ll reserve judgment about whether you and I can be friends.”

“Fair enough. Do you mind if I tell you a long story?”

He quirked one eyebrow upward. “Justification?”

“No. Only the truth.”

Pushing his chair back, he reached for the box of oatmeal. “I’ll eat while you talk. And I have only twenty minutes.”

 o0o

At the end of twenty minutes Rachel had gained a friend.

“It’s not my place to judge right or wrong, Rachel. And I believe you when you say you love Jacob.”

“I
do
, Rick. And I’ll go through hell to convince him of that.”

“That’s about where he is right now, Rachel. When I go back, we’re going to set the explosives.”

“Explosives!”

“It will be an attempt to use all the oxygen that’s keeping the fire supplied. We’ll set the charges as close to the wellhead as possible.”

“Won’t it be dangerous?”

“Everything we do is dangerous.” Rick gave her a jaunty smile. “Even life is dangerous.”

“I’m going with you.”

“You can’t. The area is sealed.”

“Can you get me close enough to watch? If anything happened to Jacob, I’d blame myself. He’s terribly tired, and he has a lot on his mind. I have to see him through this.”

Rick made one of the snap decisions he was famous for.

“I’ll get Jack’s suit for you. He’s on a sleep shift right now. And you’ll do
exactly
as I tell you. Deal?”

She smiled. “Deal.”

 o0o

Dressed in an asbestos suit that bagged around her, Rachel was escorted to a small office building on the fringes of the oil field. Rick introduced her to the foreman and two members of the drilling crew who had been watching the progress of the fire-fighting team from the relative safety of the office.

“Don’t move from this spot,” Rick warned Rachel. “No matter what happens, you stay here.”

Rachel took his hand. “Thank you, Rick. And good luck.”

“That always helps.” Rick donned his headgear and went toward the blazing wellhead.

Rachel stood beside the window, trying to pick out Jacob. From the distance, all the members of the fire-fighting team looked alike. In their suits and headgear, they resembled identical abominable snowmen. Sooty snowmen, she corrected herself. She’d just have to watch them all.

Suddenly one of the men separated himself from the crowd. He pulled off his headgear, and Rachel saw the red hair. All the love she felt for Jacob welled up inside her heart, and she pressed close to the window, straining to get a better look.

Rick McGill joined Jacob. They put their heads together in earnest conversation, and then Jacob picked up a large bundle.

“Explosives,” Rachel whispered. She began to pray silently.

Jacob was moving back toward the burning wellhead. Rachel watched and prayed. A thousand horrible images crowded her mind as Jacob courted death. Suddenly he was up and running. A thunderous explosion shook the small building where Rachel was. Flying debris and smoke obscured her vision for a moment. Then, through the mists she saw Jacob. He stumbled and fell. Chunks of flame rained around him.

“Jacob!” She was screaming, running. Hands clutched at her. Voices yelled at her to stop, but she kept on running. She had to get to Jacob.

She fought her way through the smoke, screaming his name “Jacob!”

He rolled, cursing his lack of concentration and his own stupid fatigue. And then he heard her. Rachel. Terror clutched at him. Through the billowing smoke he could see her running toward him, still crying his name.

“Get back, dammit! Go back!” He was up on his feet, stumbling toward her. A chunk of flying metal fell into his path and he went down again.

Rachel bent over him. He reached out and jerked her down beside him as another fiery airborne missile landed close-by.

“Keep down,” he yelled. “Duck your head and run with me.”

He moved in a crouch, protecting Rachel with his arms and dragging her with him. Even under the headgear, she choked. Panic kept her on her feet— that and Jacob’s arm wrapped securely around her. They ran for what seemed to be an eternity, then suddenly they were in the clear.

Jacob threw his headgear off and reached for Rachel’s. When he could see her face, he exploded.

“You could have been killed out there.”

She faced his wrath with her head held high. “So could you.”

“It’s part of my job.”

Rick came running toward them. “Jacob, what in hell happened out there?”

Keeping an iron grip on Rachel’s arm, he turned toward his friend.

“My timing was off.”

“Thank God, you’re all right.” Rick’s face was pale under the layer of soot. “Good news, though. It looks like the explosives have done the trick.” He clapped Jacob on the arm. “The next time, I’ll go in. You’re getting too old for this, buddy.”

Jacob grinned. “Watch it, McGill. You’re treading on thin ice.” He glanced at Rachel’s pale face. “Rachel, will you wait for me in the office? Rick and I have a few more things to do.”

“I’ll wait.”

She started to leave, and Jacob caught her arm. “Are you all right?”

“Just a little shaken. I’ll be fine. You go ahead and do your job, Jacob.”

He watched her leave. She looked small and vulnerable in the too-big fire-fighting suit. But her chin was up and her step was firm.

“Don’t be too hard on her, Jacob. I’m the one responsible for her being here.”

Jacob spun back around. “You let her come?”

“I have a soft spot for women, and she can be very persuasive.”

Jacob reined in his temper. He knew all too well Rachel’s persuasive powers. Hadn’t he been caught in her trap just last night? The bittersweet memory seared through him, and he ached with remorse.