Highland Champion (21 page)

“What I see is that, weel, how to put this? Did ye ne’er consider that ye just didnae see the attempts to woo ye for what they were because ye werenae really interested in those men? It sounds to me as if ye had already decided to accept the verra first mon to approach ye or your kinsmen and then along came our Duncan. A mon decides to take himself a wife, and he is verra apt to, er, test the water first. If there is no welcome, he will go elsewhere. I think that ye ne’er gave a mon any sign that ye would welcome their wooing, that ye didnae e’en ken that ye were being wooed. So they moved onto the next lass.”

Keira sat up a little straighter and began to consider that, suddenly recalling things said to her by her own family that had been very similar. Unfortunately, she would have to consider that matter later. Joan clearly had more to say.

“And, think, m’lady, ye are a wondrous healer with a blessing from God resting in those wee hands. Ye left here wounded and alone, yet ye got yourself to a safe place, healed, and regained your strength, then brought us what we needed to be free of that bastard Rauf. Aye, and ye were sorely tested by your marriage to a mon who was so scarred and crippled in his mind, he ne’er should have taken a wife. But ye held fast, and we who ken what Duncan’s troubles were truly believed ye could have helped him. There just wasnae enough time. Ye healed Sir Archie. My Malcolm doesnae suffer unending pain in his hand, and ’tis near as good as it was. All because of ye. Ye healed that husband of yours, and because of ye, he is a laird, a mon with lands and power, instead of just another cousin to a laird. All that he is now is due to ye.”

“But what does all that have to do with his feelings for me, or if he e’en has any deep ones?”

“Naught. It does have to do with how ye seem to think ye arenae good enough for him. Aye, most of us think he was born to this, that it would have been a sad waste if he had remained just another cousin, but he gained this because of ye. Ye love him; ’tis easy to see that ye warm his bed to his satisfaction, he treats ye as a true equal in all of this, and ye are about to give him a bairn.” Joan shrugged. “I cannae think of anything more to say. What ye need to do is have a hard look at yourself, and see the good in yourself, for I dinnae think ye do, nay clearly.” Joan stood up and tugged Keira to her feet. “And ye might think on just telling him.”

“Oh, I do intend to tell him about the bairn soon.”

“Good, but I was meaning that mayhap ye should just tell him that ye love him and see where that leads ye. Now, get some rest.”

It was not until Keira was in her bedchamber cleaning the dirt from her hands that she realized she had just been sent to her room like a naughty child—by her cook. She laughed and shook her head. Lectured thoroughly, told what to think hard about, and then sent off to do so.

Keira sighed; she was forced to admit that Joan was right about many things. She
had lost faith in herself. It was also very possible that she had simply not noticed any attempts to woo her because she had not been interested in any man enough to notice. That utter lack of interest would certainly have turned away any number of men. Many of her kinswomen had tentatively said the same. She had noticed Duncan, but that could have been because she had decided that she needed to marry and Duncan had been the first man after that to step to the fore. It was all rather sad. Recalling how she had felt when she had first seen Liam, even bruised and swollen as he was, she knew she had had no real interest in a man before that. It was easy to see how her feelings, or complete lack thereof, had turned aside any who had even thought to woo her.

Peering at herself in the looking glass, Keira saw yet again how much she looked like her grandmother, several of her aunts, and many of her cousins. And yet, had she not always thought them handsome women? she thought. Somehow she had neglected to carry that appreciation over to her own face. Surrounded by so many who looked similar to her, she supposed it was easy enough to begin to think herself very ordinary. She was not the great beauty Lady Maude was, but there was nothing to shame her in her looks.

Or her body, she thought, as she glanced down at herself. She was small and slender, but there were no unsightly parts she needed to hide. She was also strong and healthy. And she had good teeth, she thought and laughed.

She stripped to her shift, gave herself a more thorough wash, and went to lie on the bed. It was only a few hours until they all gathered in the great hall to sup, and it was probably a good idea to rest a little before she had to help with the meal. Keira placed her hand over her still flat stomach and smiled faintly. She always told women to rest a lot when they were carrying a child. It was time this healer took a little of her own advice.

It would be best if she was well rested, she decided as she closed her eyes, for she intended to confront Liam tonight. Even if she could not find the courage to tell him she loved him, she would tell him about the child. It would be wrong to wait so long that he discovered it on his own or, worse, from someone else.

Liam fought the urge to crawl into bed with his wife when she finally responded to his soft calls and slowly opened her eyes. There was such a soft, welcoming look in her eyes. He could almost believe it was a look filled with love, but he quickly smothered that hope. Until Keira told him how she felt, he would only drive himself mad trying to guess what each look, smile, or kiss might mean.

“I would love to crawl in there with ye, love,” he said and kissed her, “but Joan has worked hard to prepare our meal, and Kester is eager to see how she prepared the rabbits he caught.”

Keira blinked, realizing suddenly that Liam really was leaning over her. She had thought it a dream. Her hand was still touching his cheek, and she could almost taste the words
I love ye
on her tongue.

“Och, aye,” she mumbled, slowly sitting up. “Kester must be feeling verra proud of himself.”

“That he is.” Liam frowned for if she was not with child, this weariness could be a sign of some illness. “Are ye feeling unweel?” he asked, a tingle of fear tripping through his body at the mere thought of Keira falling ill.

“Nay, I am fine. Just fine. I think it was spending so many hours pulling weeds in the sun.” She smiled. “We get so few warm, sunny days, ’tis nay wonder I am not
accustomed to them.”

Liam kissed her again. “I will meet ye in the great hall.”

Keira nodded, watched him leave, and then fell back onto the bed with a soft groan. She had almost told him everything. Although she was planning to do so, a better time and place was needed. And she had better choose her time and place very soon, she told herself sternly as she got out of bed and began to dress. It was cowardice holding her silent, and that could no longer be allowed. Keira knew that even though Liam might not return her feelings in full, he would never treat her vow of love as unimportant or as a burden.

After thoroughly looking herself over, Keira deemed herself ready. She wore her best gown, she had brushed her hair until it gleamed and had only loosely braided it for that was what Liam preferred, and she had touched her skin very lightly with lavender oil. Tonight, after the meal was done, she would get Liam to walk her out into the garden, and she would tell him her secrets. Or at least half of them, she mused as she started out of the room. Cowardice being difficult to shake free of, Keira did not want to promise herself too much.

A smile curved her lips as she walked into the great hall. It was filled with men laughing, talking, and even arguing. It was a strange mix of men. Some had come from her kinsmen’s lands, some from Liam’s, the few MacKails who had survived, and even some from the MacLeans and the MacKays, but Liam was right. They were beginning to act as one. It was good to hear laughter inside Ardgleann again. Even the few women there no longer held that frightened look while in the company of the men. Keira felt laughter was one thing that would cleanse the place of Rauf’s evil better and more thoroughly than any scrubbing could.

Keira smiled at Tait Cameron who sat on Liam’s right as her husband helped her into the seat on his left. With a different shade of copper-colored hair than Liam’s and ivy green eyes, Tait was quite handsome. It seemed odd to her that the man had little to do with the women working inside Ardgleann. Perhaps, she thought as she filled her plate with a page’s assistance, Tait held to some of the same rules Liam did. She would be pleased if that was so. At the moment, she was just pleased that the man was not as odd as his elder brother Sigimor.

As the pages and the maids removed the remains of the last course and began setting out fruits and other sweets, Keira reached out to take Liam’s hand in hers. She was opening her mouth to ask him to take her for a walk in the garden or to come to the solar with her if the weather had turned sour when a loud disturbance from outside the great hall’s doors pulled her attention away from Liam so swiftly it made her a little dizzy. Then she recognized the voice of the woman arguing with Liam’s men, who wished her to wait somewhere quietly. She yanked her hand away from Liam. This time, it was not cowardice that would halt her confessions, but fury.

Keira turned to glare at Liam as a sweet, feminine voice cried out, “Liam, my sweet prince, where are ye?” Keira also came very close to repeating the foul curse Liam spat out.

The look Keira gave him should have slain him in his seat, Liam thought. He was almost surprised not to see his life’s blood pooling at his feet. Liam did wince, however, although he was not sure how much of that reaction was due to Keira’s look and how much to Lady Maude’s shrill voice echoing too sharply through the halls of Ardgleann. When he heard Tait murmur the words
sweet prince
, Liam gave his cousin a hard glare of reproof before Lady Maude raced into the great hall.

“Oh, Liam,” Lady Maude said, pausing a few feet inside the hall to clutch her dainty hands together as if in prayer and press them against her heaving breasts, “at last I have found ye, my dearest love.”

Keira watched every man and boy in the great hall fix their gaze upon Lady Maude’s breasts and nearly screamed. A calm, reasonable part of her attempted to make her take careful note of the fact that Liam was not one of that crowd, that he looked at the beautiful Lady Maude as if she were a rat in the meal. She ignored that voice, too angry to care. Not only was Lady Maude’s arrival a stark reminder of Liam’s past, but it also had ruined the careful plans she had made for the evening. Keira had to wonder if it was an omen as well.

Here was her future as the wife of a man like Liam, a future filled with women trying to pull him away from her or tempt him to betray her. She was almost certain Liam had told the truth when he had claimed he had never been the woman’s lover, but that did not matter. Keira might believe him now, but what about the next time? She could not feel certain she would not slowly turn into a jealous shrew, and whatever hope she had for a long, happy marriage would quickly disappear. The fact that she might never have the knowledge that he loved her to quiet her doubts made it an even greater possibility.

When Lady Maude ran up to Liam and nearly hurled herself into his lap, Keira gritted her teeth so hard her jaws ached. Liam grasped the woman by the arms and held her away from him, but his quick rejection of the woman’s embrace did not make Keira feel any less violent. She had the urge to run to her bedchamber and lock herself inside before she gave in to the aching need to pull out every strand of Lady Maude’s golden hair. Stiffening her spine, Keira forced herself to stay in her seat. She would not allow herself to do anything that weak, that spineless, and that undignified before the people of Ardgleann.

“Curse it, Maude, what are ye doing here?” demanded Liam as he pushed her into the seat one of the men had hastily brought over for her.

“Looking for you,” she replied and then took out a delicately embroidered scrap of linen to dab at the tears that suddenly began to glisten in her big eyes. “My husband locked me away after he dragged me home from the monastery where I came to you, m’love. It took me weeks to get free so that I could be with ye again. Och, my bonnie lad, my husband was such a brute to me.”

“Mayhap having his wife gallop about the country hunting down another mon irritates him a wee bit,” murmured Keira. She found it almost funny when Lady Maude somehow managed to glare surreptitiously at her yet hold firm to her air of distress and lovesickness. “’Twas just a thought.”

“Who is that, my love?” Lady Maude asked Liam.

“This is my wife, Lady Keira,” Liam said. “I am a married man now.”

This was all a game to the woman, Keira realized. Although she truly had begun to
believe that Liam had never bedded the woman, she had remained torn concerning how responsible he was for Lady Maude’s apparent adoration. Now she doubted the woman loved Liam at all. Lusted after him, perhaps, for what woman with blood in her veins would not wish to bed Liam if he wanted her or if she was daring enough to take a lover. But loved him? No. What Keira could not even begin to understand was why would the woman play this game at all?

“I would suggest ye return to your husband, m’lady,” Liam said, praying this could all be solved so simply, but doubting he would be so lucky.

“To Robbie? But, my sweet prince, he was so cruel to me. Why, he quite terrified me.” She gave a little shiver that immediately drew nearly all the men’s gazes back to her breasts. “Ye would ne’er be able to guess how horribly he has treated me.”

Looking around at the men gathered in the great hall as Lady Maude proceeded to relate tale after tale of her husband’s barbarous treatment of her, Keira decided the woman was too caught up in her game to even notice when she went too far. Except for Tait and Liam, most of the men initially had looked outraged by her tale and even sympathetic to her plight. Kester, Malcolm, and Sir Archie began to look skeptical very quickly, and then, one by one, Lady Maude lost the others. Even the most besotted man had to doubt the woman’s claims when she sat there looking so beautiful, so healthy, so strong, and so very well dressed. The survivors of Rauf’s brutal, but thankfully brief, reign at Ardgleann and those who had seen them before their wounds had healed began to look particularly disgusted with Lady Maude. They knew all too well the look of a woman beaten often or a body made to suffer from little food or water for days on end.

“Ye accuse your husband of some hard crimes against ye, m’lady,” said Liam. “Mayhap ye best take your tale to your own kinsmen.” He glanced at the three men who had entered with her. “If ye feel a need for more protection, I believe we can find a few men to assist yours.”

“But how can ye cast me out so heartlessly?” asked Lady Maude. “Ye ken I will simply be taken back to Robbie if I go to my kinsmen. They willnae protect me from my husband.” She started to weep. “They cannae understand the ways of love. Robbie was such a fine choice they will tell me as they take me back and place me into his cruel, unloving hands. Rich, powerful, and possessing some verra fine lands. That is all they will care about.”

As the woman sniffled and complained, Liam rubbed at his right temple where a sharp ache was rapidly growing. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Keira watch Lady Maude. Keira ate slowly, rarely taking her gaze from the woman. Liam could sense Keira’s fury in every taut line of her face and body. Lady Maude seemed completely unaware of it, which Liam found totally incomprehensible.

“Please, m’love,” begged Lady Maude, “let me stay here with ye.”

“I willnae shelter ye from your lawful husband, m’lady,” Liam said.

“But after all I have told ye—”

“Ye must give me leave to doubt some of your claims.” The way her tears seemed to dry very quickly told Liam that he had just angered her. “As I said, I can give ye some men for added protection on your journey—”

“But, Liam, my dearest, the sun has set, and the weather has turned most foul.”

A quick glance at her men revealed that that at least was the truth. The men looked wet, muddy, and very tired. Since Lady Maude did not look as if she was even damp,
Liam had to assume that she had ridden in a covered cart or that all the men had been forced to sacrifice their oiled skins for her comfort.

“Then ye may stay here for the night,” he said.

The words were still falling from his lips when Liam realized he had just made a very big mistake. He should have driven the woman out of Ardgleann, offered her a cottage at the far corner of his lands, or even paid for a bed for her at the alehouse in the village. His sympathy for the men Lady Maude dragged around with her had prompted his invitation, but he noticed they were giving
him
a look of sympathy now. The way everyone in the great hall nearly gaped at him, however, told him that his explanation would be doubted. Liam did not even look at Keira for a moment. He would almost swear he could feel her gaze burning a hole through his clothes. To his relief, Lady Maude’s attempt to enfold him in an embrace was thwarted by the arm of the chair just long enough to give him a chance to hold her back.

“As soon as the weather eases, ye will leave,” he said firmly as he pushed the woman back into her seat “I refuse to be caught up in the middle of whate’er game ye play with your husband.”

“Oh, how cruel ye can be,” she murmured.

Liam noticed that his cruelty did nothing to dull her appetite as she helped herself to whatever food was within her reach. Quietly, Liam instructed one of the scowling serving women to see that Lady Maude and her men were served something heartier. He then turned to look at his wife.

“Her men need a rest,” he said.

“Of course,” Keira replied. “They look verra worn out. Tired, hungry, and irritated.” She looked at Lady Maude, making it very clear whom she felt was fully responsible for that. “Courtesy demands that we dinnae send them out into the dark and the storm.”

“Aye, it does.” There was something in the tone of Keira’s voice that told Liam not to get his hopes up, that this was not the polite, meek acceptance it sounded like.

“Courtesy doesnae demand that I like it, however.”

Liam sighed as he watched Keira walk out of the great hall. He was astonished, however, when every other Ardgleann woman also left. Even Meggie left Kester’s side.

“I do believe the battle lines have just been drawn,” murmured Tait, and he grinned when Liam glared at him.

Turning his glare upon the one he felt was fully responsible for his troubles, Liam snapped, “I believe this game has gone on long enough, Lady Maude. I grow verra weary of it. I dinnae ken what ye think ye will gain from this, but it starts to cost me verra dearly. I am now a married mon—” he began.

“Aye, so I heard. So I can see,” Lady Maude replied as she looked around the great hall. “Ye have done verra weel for yourself. Despite your many charms, I ne’er would have thought ye would be allowed to reach so high.” She smiled and stroked his hand, appearing oblivious to the way he yanked that hand away. “Now it will be easier for us, my love. Ye are now a laird with an army at your command. We can defy anyone and everyone in the name of our love. Is that nae wonderful?”

He did not really think she was insane, but Liam could not begin to guess exactly what was part of her game and what she might actually believe. “Nay, it isnae wonderful. I dinnae ken what strange dream ye are caught in, m’lady, but ye willnae pull me into it
with ye. I have told ye—I will be no partner in adultery. I will hold to vows I have made with my wife. These are the rules I follow, ones weel-kenned by many people. Why would I break them for ye?” To his surprise, she looked briefly, intensely furious.

“Why would ye nae do so? Ye certainly didnae follow your virtuous, wee rules when ye bedded down with my sister Lady Grace.”

“Lady Grace MacDonnell?”

“Aye. I see that ye recall her weel enough.”

“Of course I do. I spoke with her husband Edmund many times, e’en supped with him and his wife on occasion. I ne’er bedded down with his wife, however.” The invitation had certainly been there, but Liam had held fast to the rules he had set for himself. He also considered Edmund a friend, and he would never betray him so.

“She told me—”

“I dinnae care what she told ye. I
never
bed down with a married woman. Ye have believed a lie and have let your beleaguered husband believe e’en more lies. And just when can we expect Laird Kinnaird?”

Lady Maude stared at him for a full minute, then shrugged slightly. “I cannae say. He wasnae at home when I freed myself from my prison and sought ye out.” She sniffed. “Only to have ye break my poor heart as usual. I dinnae ken what to do next. I have no one to turn to in my time of trouble. Truly, life has become such a weary burden for me, so full of pain and disappointment, I oft-times wonder if I should continue to struggle through another day.”

“Weel, if ye finally make up your wee mind and the answer is nay,” said Liam as he stood up and pointed east, “the river is that way.”

He heard her gasp, but it was quickly drowned out by Tait’s laughter, a laughter that quickly spread to the other men in the hall. It was tempting to leave the keep and ride away, far away, and not return to Ardgleann until he was absolutely certain Lady Maude Kinnaird had left it. Looking up the stairs, Liam sighed and started up them. There was a part of him that felt he should not have to placate his furious wife, that she had no right to be furious with him. He had done nothing wrong, had never bedded the woman whose sanity he now seriously questioned, had never even encouraged her.

Then he recalled how lovely Keira had looked tonight. She had obviously taken extra care with her appearance. After the way she had touched his cheek and smiled at him when he had roused her to come down to the great hall to sup, he believed she had decided to tell him about the child. That belief had been enhanced when she had taken his hand in hers at the table. There had been that soft, warm look in her eyes again. Unfortunately, whatever Keira had intended to say or do had been lost when Lady Maude had, yet again, intruded upon their life.

“The woman is a curse,” he muttered and then stopped just outside of the bedchamber he shared with Keira.

For a moment, he tried to think of what to say, but it was useless. He was not exactly sure of what she was angry about or who she was most angry with. Liam shrugged, grabbed the door latch, and tried to open the door. He tried several times before he accepted the fact that Keira had locked him out.

“Keira!” he yelled as he banged on the door.

“What?” his wife called back.

“Let me in.”

“Nay, nay tonight. I need to think, and I dinnae get much of that done when ye are about.”

That sounded good, but the thinking alone sounded very bad. Liam suddenly recalled what Keira’s brothers had said about the danger of letting her think. He had thought their remarks funny at the time, but he felt no inclination to laugh about them now. There was no telling what path her thoughts might lead her down. Liam could all too easily think of several conclusions she could reach that he would suffer for.

“I think it would be better if we talk.”

“Nay, we can talk about it when I am done thinking.”

Liam stared at the closed door. He considered getting a few burly men and some very sharp axes and turning the door into a pile of splinters. It was a pleasant thought, but he sternly repressed the urge to do just that for two reasons. It would be undignified, and he had the sudden thought that Lady Maude would find far too much enjoyment in it.