Highland Fling (15 page)

The door to the flat clicked open and she jumped back guiltily from the box.

Aleck stepped inside, his wary gaze seeking her out. “I tried to give you some time,” he said cautiously. “I know it might not—what’s this?”

She followed his gaze to the box and the guilt inside her multiplied.

“Your mom gave it to me to give to you. I shouldn’t have opened it, but she suggested I help you go through it. I know it’s none of my business.” She was rambling. “I’m sorry.”

He came closer and stared down at it. His face seemed to lose some color and his mouth tightened.

“I swore I’d thrown this box away.” He reached out to touch the school dance picture that now sat on top. “Me ma must’ve found it and retrieved it from the garbage.”

Delonna frowned, glancing back at the box. She started putting together the puzzle pieces in her head.

“Was she your girlfriend before you moved to America?”

“Aye.” He smoothed his thumb over her face in the picture.

“You loved her, but it didn’t end well?” she guessed. “You guys had some big fight and broke up, and then you moved to another country with your family?”

“You’re right on most accounts, save for one part.” His lips twisted into a bitter smile. “We didn’t have a fight and break up.”

“You didn’t?”

“No. We’d probably be married right now…” He paused. “That is if Cassie hadn’t gotten herself killed.”

Chapter Sixteen

Aleck felt a bit guilty for announcing it so bluntly when Delonna blanched and looked as if she might be sick.

“She’s dead?”

“Aye, she was only seventeen,” he said as he rummaged through the box. “I gave her this bracelet on her sixteenth birthday.” He touched the daisy charm and smiled faintly. “She loved daisies.”

Delonna was silent for a moment. “How did she die, if I may ask?”

“She was walking to the market when a drunk driver jumped the curb and hit her.” He said it feeling almost matter of fact about it now. The years had severed most of the pain.

“Oh my God…”

“Before the accident, I had no intention of leaving with my family to America. I loved Cassie, and in another year I would’ve turned eighteen.” He sighed. “We had made plans to marry.”

“To marry…” she repeated faintly.

He dug around in the box and pulled out a slippery piece of paper, unfolding it from the square shape it had been folded into.

“She was pregnant.” He touched the ultrasound picture, tracing the tiny baby with his finger. “She was not yet twelve weeks into the pregnancy when she was hit by the cabbie. She didn’t die right away, but suffered a traumatic brain injury—was brain dead, you see. She, along with our baby, passed away within a few days.”

When he glanced up, Delonna’s expression was a mix of horror and stunned disbelief.

“Aleck. Oh my God, I don’t even know what to say. Did your family know she was pregnant?”

“Only our parents, and they learned after the accident.” He shook his head. “There was nothing to be done for the baby, though. It was too late. My siblings never knew about the baby, and I hope they never learn. It’s quite a bit to take in, as you’re realizing.”

“Yes.” Tears brimmed her eyes now.

“I wouldn’t have laid it upon you either, Lana, but it seems my mother took that choice out of my hands.” He gave a bitter smile.

Why had his ma given Delonna the box? Clearly she’d known what was in it.

Realization sank in. He knew his mother well enough to know that maybe she’d only been trying to help. To help Delonna see why he was the way he was. Delonna had likely shown up at their flat earlier, and had probably still been in distress.

“I shouldn’t have opened the box,” she whispered. “This was your story to tell me and even then only if you wanted to.”

“Actually, when I came back to the flat tonight, it was with the intention of telling you about Cassie.” He set the ultrasound picture back in the box. “This is just a quick, more in-depth way of explaining, I suppose.”

“And painful.”

“Aye.” He didn’t deny it as he set the lid back on the shoebox. “Though much less painful now than it was back then. It felt as if me heart had damn near been ripped from me chest when I lost her.” He turned and walked to the kitchen to pour a glass of water. “So in the end I went to America and buried the past—quite literally.”

Delonna was silent and when he returned with a glass of water, he found her wiping a tear off her cheek.

“Can you maybe understand now why I fear you loving me?” he asked, searching her face. “Can you see why I can’t love like that again?”

She nodded, dropping her gaze. “I understand. Really, I do.”

Maybe she did, or maybe this topic was just so horrifying that she’d say anything to end it. He took a sip of water, letting the cold liquid slide down his throat. Focusing on that for just a moment.

“You’ll never love anyone the way you loved her,” Delonna said, almost inaudibly.

No, he realized, she didn’t really understand. But maybe it was better that way.

“I’m sorry, Lana,” he said softly. “For letting you find out like this, and for this afternoon. I was a complete bastart to you up at the castle,” he admitted. “And I hope you can forgive me.”

“I do. But only if you can do the same.” She gave a poor attempt at a smile. “I shouldn’t have dumped that announcement on you like that. I think…maybe I’m just confused by everything. The romance of Scotland. Good sex. All that adds up, right?”

Did it? Or was she just trying to make things easier on him?

He gave a faint smile. “So where do we go from here?”

She took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Where do you want to go?”

Where did he want to go? Straight to the bedroom. And maybe that made him a bit fooked up after they’d been discussing his dead girlfriend from his teenage years. Here was this woman in front of him who was vibrant with life, and who’d somehow made him start to care about someone who wasn’t considered family. It went beyond lust, he knew it, even if he refused to let it be love.

“I see,” she said softly. “Come on.”

Did she see, he wondered? But realized she did when she led him down the hall to their room and undressed him slowly and deliberately, then did the same to herself.

He did very little, too emotionally drained now, but his body awake with the need to have her. She seemed to know that and took control, easing him onto his back on the bed.

She was gentle with him. Touching and tasting him nearly everywhere, before taking his erection with her mouth and bringing him near to the edge.

“Lana,” he groaned her name softly, holding her hair. Closing himself off from the past and focusing only on the present and the pleasure Delonna was giving him.

When she pulled back it was only to move on top of him a moment later. To take complete control of the lovemaking and ride them both into pleasure.

When it was over and she was curled into his arms, he closed his eyes and waited for his heart to slow to normal. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, feeling strangely vulnerable and so damn grateful.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, boss boy.” Her reply was almost a whisper, before she rested her head on his chest.

There was no other way to describe what had just happened other than complete and tender lovemaking. And as much as Delonna wanted to convince him her declaration at the castle had been bogus, he knew every touch just now had been an act of love. Knew by the way she gave herself to him so completely and intimately. The way she folded herself into his arms right now.

It simultaneously petrified him and sparked something inside his heart that had seemed dead to other lovers. He knew every day he spent with Delonna made him more in danger of falling for her—if he hadn’t already. He already knew her better than he had any lover since Cassie.

His blood pounded harder and a feeling of dread built in his belly. Love someone the way he had Cassie? He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t go through that kind of pain again. It didn’t matter that it had been nearly twenty years; he could remember the pain of losing her as if it were yesterday.

He’d sworn to never care about someone that much again. Had done a damn good job at keeping the women in his life fleeting. Enough to satisfy the itch to be intimate with someone, but never long enough to fall in love.

And it really hadn’t been that long with Delonna, but apparently he hadn’t needed that long for something to click into place between them.

“I promised your mother we’d be there for breakfast.”

She was rather good with his parents. She was rather good at many things.

“Starbucks again?”

“No, she wants to cook.”

“You’re in for a treat. Eggs. Tomatoes. Beans. Bacon—quite different, bacon from ours though, just to warn you.”

“I’m not picky about my meat.”

Another brilliant thing about her, it seemed. Why the fook couldn’t he let the past go? Move on and give them a chance?

She unfurled from his arms and climbed out of bed. “It’s too early to sleep. Want to find something to watch on TV?”

“Aye.” A bit of mindless distraction sounded perfect, actually. He slid out of bed and followed after her.

“How was breakfast?”

“Wonderful. And filling.”

Aleck watched as Delonna leaned back in her chair and pressed a hand to her stomach. She’d nearly cleaned her plate, which was pretty common for anyone eating his mother’s cooking.

“Good to hear. We’ve a surprise for you.” His mother stood up and left the kitchen, returning a moment later with a set of keys.

“What’s this?” Aleck asked when she made to give them to him.

“The car is full of petrol and you’re to take Delonna for a drive into the Highlands.”

Aleck frowned, casting his father an uncertain look.

“We’ll not take no for an answer, son,” his da agreed. “We’ll manage a day alone just fine. Have done so up ’til you arrived anyway.”

“But we came to spend time with you and assist in Rodrick’s recovery,” Delonna said hesitantly. “I don’t need to make this into a sightseeing trip.”

“Nonsense. You’ve been helping out plenty.” His ma brushed aside her protests. “This is your first trip to Scotland, and who knows when you’ll get back. You must see a few things, dear.”

“We’ll not take no for an answer,” his da repeated. “Tomorrow I’ve an appointment you can drive me to, but there’s nothing we need today.”

“Right then.” Aleck grimaced and accepted the keys. “We’ll be back by nightfall then to check on you.”

Rodrick eased from his chair at the table, looking stronger today than he had yesterday even. He waved away any attempts Aleck or Delonna made to assist him.

“No need to rush, son, we’ll be just fine,” his da called out as he made his way down the hall. “Though if you could help me grab a towel from the closet here?”

“I’ll help.” Delonna was on her feet and down the hall in a moment. It gave Aleck the moment alone with his mother that he’d hoped for.

“You gave Delonna my box.”

His mother didn’t even pretend to not understand and lifted her chin to meet his stare unwavering. “She had a right to know the ghosts she was up against if she’s going to love my son.”

He flinched and shook his head. “I would’ve told her.”

“Aye? Well, I couldn’t be certain.” His mother leaned forward. “It’s long past the time you let Cassie go, Aleck. Time to let yourself love again. You’re no getting any younger, and surely you want a wife. A family.”

“He’s settling in to take a shower.” Delonna returned from the hallway. “Refused any help other than handing him the towel.”

“Sounds about right.” His mother smiled. “Thank you for all your help, Delonna. You’re an incredible woman.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Delonna’s eyes had widened. “That’s, um, very sweet of you to say.”

He knew what his mother was doing and he wasn’t going to bite. “Thank you for the car and the suggested day in the Highlands.” He kissed her cheek. “We’ll be sure to have fun.”

“Oh, one last thing, Aleck,” his mother said quickly. “I almost forgot to tell you that your brother Colin called and asked that I give you a message.”

“Oh aye?”

“He said you’d be very interested to hear that someone named James has been located and arrested?”

Chapter Seventeen

“I can’t believe they found him,” Delonna murmured as they sat in morning traffic to get out of Edinburgh.

Aleck snorted. “I can. The wanker was stupid enough to send you a text message. I don’t care if it wasn’t from his phone, I’m sure with a little detective work he wasn’t all that hard to trace.”

“I’m so relieved. But what if…what if that other guy who has been harassing me doesn’t back off?”

“Then I’ll hunt him down and shove his bollocks down his throat. Simple as that, luv.”

She laughed, but her heart wasn’t really in it.
Love
. It had never bothered her when he called her the endearment before, but now, when he was clearly so against falling in love with her, it stung a little.

“This traffic is just as bad as Seattle’s,” she said, to change the subject. “Which is why I live on Whidbey now.”

“It’s much lighter on Whidbey,” he agreed.

The traffic began to ease up moments later and soon they were out of the city and moving almost briskly on the road.

“You should stay with me still.”

She glanced at him, frowning. “Stay with you?”

“Back on Whidbey. Since you’re worried about the guy who’s been harassing you.”

“Oh.” She’d forgotten all about returning to the island and then actually going home to her rental she shared with Kenzie. Leaving Aleck’s place. It left her a bit hollow. “I’m sure I’ll be fine now.”

He didn’t answer, and a good amount of the drive into the Highlands was spent in silence. Part of it was her trying not to cry, and part of her was just being so blown away by the beauty of the land around them.

There were mountains and hills, some in brilliant shades of green, while some were more of a brownish yellow. Now and then some were snowcapped. The mountains held gentle curves, though some were more dramatic and sharp in their points. In one spot a deep dramatic valley ran between the hills and they parked to get out to look around and take pictures.

“They filmed a Bond movie here,” Aleck said.

“James Bond?”

“Aye.”

“I can see why. Here. Let’s get a pic.” She forced Aleck to do a selfie with her. It was the only pic she’d have of them together, and when it was taken and she stared at it, she could only smile as she noted how stoic he looked in the picture. He was the same as the child from years ago.

“Gorgeous,” she said, turning back to the view and stuffing her phone back into the pocket of her jeans. “It literally takes my breath away. It’s so vast. So stark. I can’t believe people lived in these hills.”

“Me neither. Not nearly close enough to a Starbucks for me taste. Come, let’s get back in the car and drive to a nearby town to have lunch.”

Lunch was at a tiny town that really had just a restaurant and a store attached. It was cozy and completely unique, and after a small simple lunch, Aleck walked her over to a nearby pasture where a peculiar-looking animal was grazing.

“What is that?” Delonna asked, leaning against the fence. “Some type of bull?”

“What you’re looking at, luv, is a Highland cow.”

“A Highland cow,” she repeated and then something pricked in the back of her mind.

“Didn’t you once say I was more attractive than a Highland cow?”

Aleck squinted his gaze at the cow. “Mmm. I’m not quite sure I remember—”

“No, you really did. And if this hairy, red thing, obviously lacking a few brain cells is a Highland cow, then I should probably be a little insulted,” she teased.

“Well, if you must. But be warned, you’ll have hurt its feelings.” He smiled and cast her a sideways glance. “It’s different taking you here. Someone new to Scotland. My siblings and I come at least once every year or two.”

“I would too if I were in your shoes. Family would be the excuse to get me here. The scenery and charm would make me stay as long as I could.” She hesitated. “Would you ever move back?”

He didn’t answer right away. “I love Whidbey quite a bit, but I’ll never say never.”

She nodded, suspecting that some day he would indeed come back. Follow in his parents’ footsteps. But he would come back alone, without a wife.

Her heart did that little twisty and achy thing that was becoming all too familiar the last couple of days. The unhappiness that she’d managed to smother with the sights of Scotland was never deep enough buried. She’d had to come to terms with the truth.

Aleck moved to rub her back, the gesture comforting and without sexual intent. A few days ago it wouldn’t have bothered her in the least. Today, it was like rubbing salt in a wound.

She stared at the cow, focusing on the awkward and yet fascinating beast, and knowing what she had to do.

“Aleck?”

“Mmm?”

“I need to stop sleeping with you.”

The hand on her back stilled and the air between them was suddenly heavy with unspoken words. She couldn’t say more. Didn’t even need to, because clearly he had to know why she’d said it.

Finally, “I understand.”

He accepted it so easily that her heart split a little more and tears pricked at the back of her eyes. Yesterday when they’d made love she’d wanted it to be all for him. Bringing him pleasure. Bringing him peace and comfort with her touch. And in the process she’d lost a little bit of herself again, even as she knew it had been healing for Aleck.

They had four more days here in Scotland, and she’d be spending it out of his arms. Out of his bed. If she were going to survive without giving him another little piece of her heart, she had to nip this in the bud now.

“We can be—” she swallowed hard, “—just friends again. Okay?”

“Aye. Friends is good,” he said quietly.

Between seeing more sights and helping out with his dad, the days passed quickly. It was the nights that seemed to drag on. Aleck had spent the rest of them on the couch, while she’d slept in the big bed. Used to sleeping alone, she’d gotten all too accustomed to being with Aleck. It was lonely, cold and depressing. She hadn’t had a good sleep since they’d slipped back into friend mode.

The morning they were scheduled to fly home, they said their goodbyes at the airport to Aleck’s mom. Rodrick had stayed home to rest, having said his farewells earlier.

“It was lovely to spend the week with you, Delonna.” Brenda kissed her cheek and stared down at her. “I hope you enjoyed your trip.”

“Of course I did. It was such a pleasure getting to know you.”

Aleck’s mom gave a slight smile, but her eyes were troubled. Delonna knew she had sensed things had taken a turn for the worse between her and Aleck.

“I’m sorry,” the older woman whispered, barely audible as she glanced at her son who was moving the luggage toward the airport doors. “I had hoped…”

Delonna hugged the other woman again and shook her head. “It’s fine.”
It isn’t
. “I knew going in what to expect.”
I just completely ignored it.

“All right, Ma.” Aleck returned and pulled his mother into a big hug. “Good to see you as always. Don’t let Da be such a grump, and keep him active, aye?”

“Always do. Love you, son.” She looked as if she wanted to say more, but Aleck kissed her cheek and then turned Delonna’s way.

“Ready?”

Delonna nodded against the lump in her throat. Time to go back to real life.

Getting back to normal was bloody awful. Not just because of the adjustment to the time change, but because Aleck was once again alone.

And with no one but yourself to blame
, he reminded himself as he made his way through the pub, checking up on things.

“You look exhausted, go home.” Kenzie appeared in the doorway to his office several minutes later, her forehead wrinkled into a frown.

“I’ll head back in a bit,” he muttered.

“Have you even slept since returning?”

“A few hours each night, but my body is still all out of sorts from the time change.”

Kenzie shut the door to the office and leaned against it. “What happened between you and Delonna? She’s moved back into the rental—which is a really bad sign after you’ve just spent the week together in Scotland.”

“There’s no reason for her not to move back. The threat is gone, and… You know, it’s none of your fookin’ business really. It was just time for her to go home.” He almost made it sound like he’d kicked her out, when she was the one to leave.

“You totally blew it with her, didn’t you?”

Completely. But it was safer to his sanity this way. His heart.

“Again, none of your business.” He moved from his desk to kiss his sister’s cheek. “But thanks again for taking care of things while I was gone. Things went well?”

“Perfectly.” She didn’t look happy with the subject change, but went along with it. “The window was replaced and I think the excitement of being shot up actually brought in more customers.”

He grimaced. “Good to hear humanity’s thirst for violence is strong as ever.”

“You know James made bail.”

Aleck stilled. “He’ll be convicted when it goes to trial. Has he made any attempt to see her?”

“No.” Kenzie hesitated. “But he’s out there and could at any point.”

“Have there been any threats against her from that other guy?”

“No. As far as I can see, she’s safe.” Kenzie sighed. “But she’s not happy. She hasn’t left her room. I can hear her crying at times.”

Aleck’s chest tightened almost painfully.

“And she’d kill me if she found out I’d told you that. But I just knew you’d end up hurting her,” Kenzie continued quietly. “I warned her. I just, dammit, Aleck, it’s Delonna. Could you not just have left her alone in the first place?”

“I wanted to,” he rasped, thrusting a hand through his hair. His heart thumped quicker in his chest. “Fook, I tried. I really did. I just, I couldn’t.”

There was a heavy silence and when he finally got control of his emotions and glanced at his sister, she stared at him with dawning comprehension.

“Holy shit on a stick.” Her eyes were wide and her brows drawn together. “I almost don’t believe it, but I think you’re in love with her.”

“No.”

“Aye. Like it or not, brother, it’s happened.”

“The fook it has,” he snapped, striding past her to grab and drink a bit of the pint he’d poured himself earlier.

Kenzie followed him. “It’s quite amazing how you can have so much advice, so much insight on your siblings’ love lives. Be so spot on sometimes, and yet be utterly blind when it comes to your own heart.”

He closed his eyes and tried to block out the wash of despondency that moved through him.

“You don’t understand.” He shook his head, his voice cracking. “I can’t go through that again. I can’t love someone that much.”

“I know how much you loved Cassie. How much she meant to you.” Kenzie touched his shoulder. “Maybe you never told any of us, but even with as young as I was, I could see it. And I saw the change in you after it happened.”

He stared at his little sister, a bit amazed at how much she’d been able to surmise back then.

“Is it that you don’t think you can ever love someone that much again?” Kenzie asked, seeming genuinely confused.

“It’s not that I can’t love. Clearly I can. Some people you love by default, like family. But I’ve no desire to ever romantically love a woman that deeply again. So much that it nearly destroys you when something happens to them.”

“But that’s a risk we all take. It’s a risk I take every time Brett gets sent out on the boat.” Kenzie looked dismayed. “Do you really want to just grow old alone?”

“Aye, that’s the plan.”

“And you don’t want children.”

“I’ll have me nieces and nephews to keep me busy. You and Brett should start right on that,” he tried to tease.

She didn’t take the bait. “You don’t ever want a wife. A partner in life.”

“No wife,” he agreed, feeling strangely empty now.

“Then there’s no hope for you.” Unhappiness and disbelief shone on his sister’s face. “If I thought you could make it work with anyone, it would’ve been Delonna.”

“I’ve been clear to everyone what my intentions are in life.” Fook, why the hell wouldn’t she drop it already? His head began to throb.

Kenzie didn’t back down, but went toe to toe with him. “Tell me, to my face, that you don’t love her.”

“Dammit all to hell. I don’t love her, Kenzie,” he yelled, smashing the pint glass against the wall. “Do you hear me? I don’t love her and I’ll
never
love her. Is that clear enough for you?”

“It’s clear enough for me.”

It wasn’t Kenzie who answered, but Delonna. He hadn’t heard the door to the office open. Hadn’t seen her come in.

Her eyes were bloodshot and strangely devoid of emotion. She wore no makeup and appeared as if she’d been in the same sweatpants and hoodie for days.

Shame slammed through him hard, making him start to almost shake as bile rose in his throat.

“Ah shite.” He stepped forward. “Delonna—”

“It looks like I’ve made the right choice.” She stepped past Kenzie and held out a piece of paper to him.

He didn’t take it. “What’s this?”

“I’m quitting. I’m old fashioned and put it on paper.” Her mouth almost twitched with a semblance of a smile.

Kenzie shot him the most vile, loathing look ever, but he couldn’t acknowledge it as he stared at Delonna.

“You don’t want to do this.” His words were unsteady as he reached for her.

She sidestepped him, dropping the paper on the floor as he refused to take it. “I do want to do this. I have to do this. I’m sure you’d rather not lose your moneymaker of a bartender, but you’ll find someone to replace me. Both at the pub and in your bed.”

That was a low blow.

“Aleck,” Kenzie hissed, clearly telling him to fix this.

“Don’t leave. I fooked up, Lana.” He caught her wrist as she tried to move away.

“No you didn’t, I did. I slept with and fell in love with my boss. I knew the risks involved, and I knew you didn’t want serious.” She met his gaze now, solidly and without judgment in her eyes. She tugged her wrist free and backed away from him.

“We can work through this…”

“I can’t compete with someone who’s dead. I said I loved you up on the castle and nothing’s changed. But since you can’t accept that love, and you clearly can’t return it…” She gave a helpless shrug. “I’m out, Aleck.”