Highland Light (20 page)

Preparing to lie and rest, he was approached by Ainsley. By the light of the fire, Gideon saw the shine of tears in the lad's eyes. Gideon rose, he motioned Ainsley to follow him into the darkness away from the fire. He stopped and turned to Ainsley when they were far enough from the fire to be alone. Gideon took Ainsley into his arms. He allowed the boy to cry on his shoulder. Without a word spoken between them, Ainsley took comfort from Gideon. After a short time Ainsley took a deep breath then stepped back.

Gideon squeezed his upper arm as he whispered in his ear.

"Go and try to rest now lad. Be sure to say your prayers this night."

"Aye."

Ainsley breathed as he turned away from Gideon to make his way back toward the dying fire. Gideon went down on his knees there in the darkness. He asked forgivness for the day's butchery. He then went to his own pallet.

In the morning they found another small settlement to ravage. Gideon was chasing a cow out of the field past a rocky outcrop when he saw the young woman trying to hide under a ledge. She had two small children and a lamb with her.

He caught a flash of her red hair. They locked eyes. Gideon saw the fear in her eyes, he shook his head slightly. He had not been commanded to kill women and children only men. Something inside him shattered. He determined no matter what command was given, never would he kill innocents. He spurred the horse up the small rise after the cow. Upon reaching the animal, Gideon killed the cow as he had been ordered to do. It did not help the anger boiling inside his heart at the job he had been given.

That evening Cadell found him. He had been searching for Gideon for two days. Gideon pulled him to one side. He confessed his disgust at the harrying of Buchan to Cadell. Cadell was not pleased with the command to break Buchan.

Gideon took heart from the fact that Cadell was not happy about the situation in which they found themselves. Being a small clan and struggling to survive each winter, they were all too aware of the hardship the people of Buchan would face come winter. Cadell understood the King's reasoning. That did not make it easy to carry out the King's bidding.

Gideon was more than happy to be relieved by Cadell. He and the men who had been with him left as soon as it was light in the morning. They were all ready to be on the trail to their own home.

Gideon set a hard pace. He wanted to see his wife. He wanted to be home in the peaceful glen. The further he got from Buchan the better he liked it. By riding hard and long they reached the head of the glen in three days. Gideon uncaring of what anyone else thought, dismounted and dropped to one knee. He gave thanks for his home, his safe return and asked for forgivness for his sins. When he turned to mount, all the clansmen were rising to their feet behind him.

Gideon was the first man to enter the hall. He had given his horse into the care of Boyd who had dashed forward to help. Edeen was waiting in the hall. Before he could ask she pointed up the stairs.

"Ailene is up there waiting for ye."

With a nod of his head Gideon took the stairs two at a time. Bursting into the room he found her seated in a chair. Her belly was so swollen he could not believe his eyes.

Gideon's hands took hold of the doorway as he stared at her.

"Ailene?"

"Aye, love. I ha been waitin for ye. Our bairn is due any day."

She reached out both arms for him.

Gideon slowly walked forward and took her hands.

"Now I understand why they would not talk about you."

"Dinna blame anyone but me. Gideon, I did not wish ye to be distracted. I commanded them to all hold their tongues."

He put out a hand toward her swollen body. Ailene took his hand. She placed his hand on her belly as she reached out to stoke Gideon's cheek with her other hand.

"The bairn dropped two days ago. Edeen told me if I walked it might hasten the birth."

She smiled at his pale face.

"I ha taken to bed. I was determined that ye be here to see the birth."

"Ailene, please do not hurt yourself."

There was a wave across her stomach and his hand lifted and fell with the motion.

Ailene watched the look of wonder cross Gideon's face as the bairn moved beneath his hand. She laughed.

"Na worry love, childbirth takes place when God chooses. He only waited because He saw fit."

Gideon sat on his heels as he placed both hands on her stomach. Ailene pushed the hair back from his face.

"Well Gideon, how goes the campaign?"

His eyes had something in them Ailene had not seen before. She was not sure what she saw. Gideon shook his head slightly and looked back at her body.

"I would talk about the babe. How does it feel to be this full?

Tell me about everything that has taken place."

Ailene understood he did not wish to discuss what he had experienced. She began to tell him about heaving, how difficult it was to keep her balance. No detail was too small for him. Gideon prodded her for every piece of information.

The thought of the life that she would shortly bring into the world, a part of the both of them, cheered him. He thought about the little things he had missed. When sadness would have intruded into his thoughts, Gideon refused it. This was what life was all about. He felt a sudden bond with his father. His father had been there to see his mother grow swollen with him. Gideon had never before considered that aspect of his parent's life together.

After a time when Ailene had told him everything she could recall about being pregnant, they fell silent. They touched, kissed, and he helped her rise from the chair. Gideon wrapped his arms about her, craddling her, large with his child, to his chest.

Idelle took pity on them, she brought a tray of food up. The two of them stood quietly as she put the tray on the chest. They ate then Gideon helped his wife to undress. He was nervous about getting into bed with her. Ailene drew him to the bed, when he lay down next to her, she cuddled close to him spoon fashion. Gideon's arms fastened around her under her swollen breasts. With a sigh that settled into his heart like a healing balm, Ailene fell asleep.

Gideon inhaled the scent of her. She smelled of spices and heather. It was pure bliss to be in bed with her. After a while she turned. Ailene leaned her stomach against him as she slept. There were faint movements he felt as her flesh moved. Gideon did not want to sleep. There was too much he had missed. Sleep would rob him of the pleasure of being with her.

A thought crossed his mind. Gideon lay a hand on her. He wondered if the babe was a boy or girl. A girl, a red haired, russet eyed beauty, would please him to no end. They would be close, as Cadell and Ailene were close. A little girl, opinionated, stubborn and as fearless as her mother would tax his patience but bring joy to his heart. Just before he slipped into sleep he thought about being a father to a little boy. He wanted to be a father, a good father as Cadell was. And as he thought about it, a good father as his own father had been.

Christal found Ainsley before he was able to excape to the safety of the hall. Ainsley did not want to talk to anyone about his first experience of war. He was not sure what to say to Christal. Thankfully she did not question him. She only wanted to be held and kissed. Ainsley was eager to do so. They found a place to sit in the dark. Christal put her head on his shoulder. Ainsley was happy to be back in the glen. He silently thanked God for the peace he was now able to enjoy. Later, he wanted to talk with Gideon about what he had experienced. He had questions he felt only Gideon would understand.

Ailene was taking a nap. Gideon went out to see how the wall had turned out. He found Ainsley waiting for him. The lad followed him around silently for a bit. Gideon walked down along the burn until they reached a fairly secuded spot. He sat cross legged in a patch of grass near the bank. Gideon watched Ainsley walk slowly toward him.

"Ainsley, you wish to talk?"

The boy threw himself down onto the grass, turned on his side then propped his head up on his bent arm.

"Do ye mind?"

"Nay, Ainsley. What is it you wish to talk about?"

Gideon plucked a blade of grass. He bit on it tasting the slightly bitter grass.

The lad nodded.

"Are there no rules ta war? I thought knights wa to obey rules?"

His green eyes held a sadness, which had not been there before.

"In a perfect world, aye, there are rules. This is not a perfect world. You know what the Sassenach did to Wallace, what they did to the King's wife and daughter. You know how they killed his brothers?"

With thumb and forefinger, Gideon removed the piece of grass from his tongue.

"That dinna excuse the harrying of Buchan."

The boy's wide mouth that was usually smiling was turned down.

"Nay lad. I am not trying to excuse it. It is the climate that we find ourselves in. If you are in a storm, you need to try to protect yourself. Scotland is in a storm. The King is doing what he hopes will kill all opposition to his rule. If we are fighting among ourselves, we cannot keep the Sassenach from coming along and taking what they want."

Gideon wondered if he were starting training for fatherhood early. Cadell was not here to answer his fosterson's questions so that left him.

"I ken that. So, we must fight using ta rules the Sassenach have made?"

Gideon nodded.

"Unfortunately, we have no choice. As there was no unity in Scotland, the King was forced to fight like an outlaw."

Gideon shrugged.

"Longshanks decared all who wished to keep Scotland it's own country outlaws. Outlaws do not have the luxury of acting like great knights."

Gideon decided to try to expand Ainsley's horizon.

"You know about the crusades. The Moslems did not fight according to the rules of engagement. Therefore, those who fought them were forced to change the rules. Does that make sense to you?"

Ainsley nodded but was silent.

"What you can do is to decide within your own heart what you will or will not do. Once you have decided, stick to that. I will not kill innocents. I care not what I am ordered to do, I will not do so."

Ainsley nodded again and his lips formed a stern line.

"Nor will I. I canna kill those who canna defend themselves."

"There you have it Anisley. You have made a decision, no matter what, even if you lose your life, you must stick to that principal. If you do not your soul will be lost."

The lad and the young man were quiet. Then Ainsley looked at Gideon with a smile.

"Ye wa wrong. Ye ken more about women than ye ken, mind."

Gideon raised his eyebrows in question.

"I ha watched ye wa Ailene. Christal liked having her fingers kissed."

Gideon laughed. Ainsley laughed along with him. The sadness that had shadowed the lads green eyes was gone. Gideon felt he might have helped the lad cope with the realities they had to live with.

Chapter 18

Early the following morning Ailene woke Gideon. She asked him to rub her back, as she was unable to get comfortable. She turned on her side so Gideon could rub her back. Nothing worked so Ailene rose from the bed she began to pace. Gideon felt her growing nervousness. He rose then got dressed. Offering to get her something, he straightened the covers on the bed. Ailene only wanted water. Gideon went down stairs to refill the tankard for her. When he brought it back up stairs she was bent over with a hand over her stomach.

"Gideon, fetch Edeen. My water broke. The wee one is on its way."

He nearly dropped the tankard in his rush to put it on the chest. Then he hurried out of the room nearly falling in his haste to get down the stairs.

When Edeen followed him into the hall, she sent him into the kitchen to start a fire in the fireplalce. Idelle walked in as he was coaxing the fire into flame.

"It is her time I ken."

Gideon ran a hand through his hair.

"Aye. Edeen has told me to stay out of our room."

He rose from the fireplace and began pacing.

"I do not wish to be shut out. Not now."

"Aye. I can ken that. Ye are worried and ye ha not been able to be with Ailene. Gie up there lad. Tell Edeen to ask Ailene what she wants. Leave it to Ailene."

He raced up the stairs. Edeen came to the door at his knock.

"Gideon, ye need ta stay down stairs."

He shook his head.

"Ask Ailene. I will abide by her decision. If she wants me to stay away until the babe is born, I will."

Edeen left the door open so Gideon could hear Ailene's answer to the question.

"Aye, let him in. I need him."

Edeen shrugged her shoulders.

"Be warned Gideon, this will be messy an loud. No lose yer nerve here."

Ailene walked. She walked supported by Gideon. When the pains came she leaned against him and panted. Gideon kept silent. He did as directed by Edeen. Gripping his hands until he thought she might break his fingers, Ailene rode out pains that were becoming closer together and harder to bear. At times he bit his lip to keep silent. The day passed by ever so slowly as Ailene fought to bring the child into the world.

It was late in the day when Edeen felt that Ailene was finally ready. She had Gideon help Ailene to the birthing chair. Ailene was in almost constant pain. Gideon thought about how his mother had probably suffered the same bringing him into the world.

The thought that some women did not live through the odeal attempted to enter his brain. Gideon refused to think about it. He had been watching Edeen carefully. He did not sense any anxiety in her demeanor.

Edeen began to urge Ailene to push. A high thin scream came from Ailene as she pushed. And then it was done. Ailene's scream was replaced by the wail of the child Edeen now held. Gideon leaned forward to watch as Edeen lifted the child into Ailene's lap.

"A fine lad Ailene. Ye did well lass."

Edeen told Ailene as she tied the cord in two places then cut it.

Gideon watched as with trembling fingers Ailene used her stained night robe to clean the babe. Ailene turned her head to smile at Gideon. He brushed sweat soaked hairs from her face as he returned her smile.