Highland Soldiers: The Betrayal (4 page)

Turning was one thing. Even meeting her eyes was within the bounds of courtesy, but to fix his eyes on hers was wholly unwise. There was no helping it. Love pulled him to her and overpowered months of bitterness that should have protected him by now.

“Jenny.” His polite manner put distance between them. He saw that it stung, and he took some pleasure in it.

“How are you?” Jenny asked meekly.

With that, his pain soured. Duncan let out a bitter laugh, which threw Jenny off guard. With forced cheer, he leaned on his shovel, eyes gleaming with rancor. “I’m fine, Jenny. Thank you for asking. And you?”

She was visibly hurt.

“How are you, Jenny? And how are the wedding plans coming?” Without waiting for her answer he turned away and propped the shovel against the wall. There he took a moment to stare at the stone wall and seethe.

When the silence grew too much for her, Jenny said his name softly.

“Why have you come here?” He turned to face her.

“I’m sorry that you had to find out from somebody else.”

“Tavish.”

“Sorry?”

“I found out from Tavish.”

“Och, Duncan. I’m sorry. He dinnae know about us.”

“Of course he dinnae know. No one did. That’s what made it so easy for you.”

“Nothing’s been easy for me.”

A dark look clouded his eyes, but he tamped down his feelings and shrugged. “You’ve made a good match. A laird’s son. You’ve come up in the world.” Duncan cast a disparaging glance about his own byre. “Although, I’ll admit I was surprised when they told me. I never knew that was what you wanted. I thought–” Duncan stopped and seemed almost to smile to himself. “Well, it doesn’t matter what I thought.” His face drained of expression, until all that remained was a stony stare. “Good luck to you, Jenny.”

“Duncan, I–”

Before she could go on, Duncan turned away and resumed working. “Goodbye, Jenny,” he said, as scooped with his shovel and filled up the barrow.

*

Alex and Duncan went down to Loch Oich to fish for some salmon for supper. Duncan cursed as one got away.

Alex kept his gaze on the lake. “You’re in a right foul mood.”

“Aye.”

They stood quietly fishing. Alex glanced over at Duncan. “I have not seen you like this since Edinburgh. It isnae Mari still, is it?”

“Mari? No.” Duncan stared at the water. “I wonder if it ever really was Mari.”

Alex watched the water and waited.

“At the time, I was trying to forget someone else.”

The thought settled in silence between them for a moment, and then Alex asked, “Have you seen Jenny yet?”

“Jenny?” The mere mention of her caught Duncan off guard.

Alex’s expression was too knowing to ignore, and yet Duncan tried. “I have.” Even as he said it, his indifference faded.

Alex would not be deterred. “There was a time when we all thought there was something between you and Jenny.”

Duncan took in a breath to protest, but exhaled with a rueful nod.

Alex asked, “How could we not?”

“We were friends, she and I.”

“Friends?” Alex looked doubtful.

Duncan gazed at the lake. “Aye, friends.”

“Friends who fell in love,” Alex said, completing the thought.

“Well, I did, anyway. All she did was promise to marry me.”

Alex cast a sharp look of concern. “We never knew that. We would see you steal glances at each other, but... marriage...” Alex slowly shook his head.

“We were handfasted. On the night before we all left, we promised to love one another forever, and I meant it. We were going to have a kirk wedding when I came home. And the next week, along comes Tavish MacLean strutting about camp and boasting to all who would listen–including me, to my misfortune–that they were betrothed.” Duncan swallowed his pain. “She gave her body to me, except for her hand. That she gave to Tavish MacLean.”

Alex said, “I dinnae understand. Why would she do it?”

“Well, I am braw and handsome.” Duncan let out a laugh that soon faded. “But I am not the son of a laird.” Duncan thought of whose son he was.

“She cannae love him,” said Alex.

“What does it matter? I cannae have her.” He looked at Alex. “It’s taken me over a year to come up with that brilliant conclusion.”

With a sympathetic smile, Alex said, “Aye, well you are a powerful thinker.”

Duncan laughed, in spite of himself. “Not long after that, I met Callum’s Mari. I saw what they had. It was what I had lost. And I was lonely for it. I saw Mari with Callum, and I fell in love with the way that she loved him. She was devoted to him, and still is.”

“Unlike Jenny,” Alex said quietly.

“Just so.” Duncan gazed at the lake and exhaled. “We will starve at this rate.”

“It’s too early for salmon,” said Alex.

With a wry look, Duncan said, “I believe I said just that on our way down here.”

“But did you not miss the fishing here while we were gone?” Alex grinned.

“This isnae fishing. It’s standing in water.”

Alex laughed. “Well, perhaps we could pack up and go have a dram.”

Without hesitation, Duncan turned and waded back to the shore, calling behind him, “You have renewed my faith in your wisdom.”

*

Jenny walked with her mother to the village to shop in the mercat square. Her father had already left very early to look at some cattle and hogs. Vendors were selling their wares from pushcarts. People bartered and chattered, and all was a clamor of color and movement. Once one of her favorite pastimes, she now found herself walking with no more purpose than to listen and respond to her mother when needed.

From moment to moment, she hoped to see Duncan. He would not want to see her, but if she could just gaze at him unnoticed, her heart might not ache so. She longed for a glimpse of the masculine grace of his walk, his dark hair and deep eyes that always seemed remote unless they regarded her. She used to watch him when he was not aware, and she would wonder if anyone would ever get close to his heart. He had always been standoffish, but not out of arrogance. Behind his aloof manner he was caring and kind. Few people knew him well, but those who did found little fault. Acquaintances respected his character. Foes in battle faced his fearsome skill with a sword, but Jenny knew his heart and his passion. She knew also what he must think of her. Part of her hoped, in some way, he might hold onto his faith in her and discern her dilemma. But how could he? Short of reading her mind, there was nothing left for him to think, but that she had cast him aside in favor of Tavish. Tavish had social standing, which Duncan did not. Still, she wanted to believe that he knew her better than to think this would sway her. Her heart sank. How it must have hurt Duncan to come home to the burden of his family’s debt. That weight, alone, was enough. But to lose Jenny to Tavish must have hurt deeply. For that, Jenny had no cure. She had already come too close to telling the truth. She had never stopped loving him, nor would she. She had done what was best for his parents. She had to be strong and not tell him until she found a way to convince her father to call off the wedding.

*

Jenny’s mother chatted with a baker while he wrapped up some tarts.

While they talked, Jenny planned her escape. One of them would have to take a breath soon. “Mum, my head is aching. Would you mind if I walked home?”

“There were a few more things I was hoping to get, but I suppose they could wait.” Her mother’s eyebrows creased as she stared off to the distance and thought.

“You stay,” Jenny insisted. “I’ll walk home. ‘Tis not far, and I think a walk may help.”

Rowena smiled gently and touched her daughter’s forehead and cheek. “Alright. But lie down when you get home. I willnae be long here.”

Jenny passed by Duncan’s mother and her friend Nellie, who were waiting for a draper to measure out four ells of cloth. Jenny greeted them warmly and continued toward home. Duncan joined them, leading his horse as he walked through the mercat.

Nellie gave him a hug. “I’ve not spent more than a few minutes with you since I left for home from the fighting. You must come by for a visit. I’ve missed you, lad.”

Duncan smiled. “I’ve missed you, too, Nellie.” He turned to his mother. “While we were in the lowlands, Nellie made us feel as though we were home.”

Nellie’s eyes misted up. “I wish I had stayed a bit longer.” With a sigh, she said, “Ah, well. If wishes were horses, poor men would ride.” Nellie squeezed Duncan’s arm. “Look at me–and on such a fine day.” She glanced up with false cheer. “Och, I spoke too soon. Do you see those clouds? I’d best be on my way home.”

Duncan’s mother asked him to pack a few of her heavier items on his horse. “Nellie, can we carry something for you?”

“I’ve already given Charlie the bulk of it. But you could do one thing for me, Elspeth.”

“Aye?”

Nellie nodded. “Stop for a cup of tea on your way home.”

“There is nothing I would enjoy more.” Elspeth smiled warmly.

Lightening flashed, followed in an instant by thunder and the crack of a tree as it fell.

Both flinched. Nellie said, “Did we not see Jenny walking that way?”

Duncan looked toward the tree, where Jenny must be.

Elspeth studied him for a moment. In a quiet voice, she said, “Duncan, we’re closer to her than anyone else, and you’ve got your horse.”

He started to shake his head, but she urged him. “Go to her.”

*

Relieved to be alone with her thoughts, Jenny reached the outskirts of the village. Her heart was with Duncan, and hiding that fact was a burden. A mile from her house, thick clouds rolled in to darken the sky. She quickened her pace as a few drops of rain fell. Wild gusts whipped her arisaid about as she held it close to her chin. Lighting flashed. Thunder bellowed. With a deafening crack, a tree split down the middle and started to fall. Jenny ran, but her foot caught a deep rut in the road and she fell. The tree barely missed her as it landed across the road. By now, rain was pelting her, drowning the sound of the hoof beats. She struggled to stand as her ankle buckled beneath her. Rivulets of water streamed about her feet as she gripped limbs of the fallen tree for support.

“Jenny!”

She glanced up to see Duncan on horseback. “Are you hurt?”

“Och, it’s my ankle. I twisted it when I fell.”

“I’ll take you home.”

“Dinnae worry about me.”

Ignoring her protest, he leapt down and lifted her onto his horse, then mounted behind her.

The storm was as violent as it was sudden. Jenny gripped the edge of the saddle, but there was no need. Duncan circled her waist and held her securely against him as they rode through pelting rain for the last mile to her house.

Held against his strong shoulders and chest, she felt safe and sure. She had missed his warmth and his touch. She could almost forget what had torn them apart–enough so, that she let herself imagine how it might be to flee with him now. What if they ran away? She could tell him the truth. There was nothing to stop them. But that was not true. If they ran away, her father would evict Duncan’s parents. With no home and no place to go, his parents’ lives would be ruined. If she were lucky, she might find work in Glasgow or Edinburgh, never seeing daylight as she worked from dawn until well after dark. Duncan’s father would try, but he would be as he always had been, a dreamer who would never find his way past a drink or the next chance to gamble. Duncan’s mother would never complain, but the burden would fall on her, and the weight would wear her down, if not crush her. That would be the price for Jenny’s happiness, and it was too great. She could never tell Duncan. He would not let her go. He would insist upon shouldering the burden for them all, but he was in no position to do so. Her father would turn them all out. With no home and no means of support, even if she and Duncan could manage, it would be too hard on his parents. In time, Duncan would grow to resent her, for she would have been the cause of their hardship. Without her, their lives would go on undisturbed. Every time she tried to find a way out of the trap she was in, she wound up back here in its snare, her heart breaking. The best thing for Duncan and his family would be to go on with their lives without her.

So Jenny tried to sear into her memory what she could never have: Duncan’s arms about her as they were at this moment, the palm of his hand on her waist, and how close his mouth was to hers. If she turned, her lips would meet his. In another time, she might have kissed him on a whim, unconcerned about whether such a moment would come again. But now, she had lost her true love, but her heart would not break. Poets would have people believe that hearts broke, but they did not. They beat on, and with each beat, they ached without mercy.

They reached the stable. Duncan helped Jenny down from his horse. Her breath caught as his hands gripped her waist and she slid down against him. But her feet touched the ground, and the strong hands were gone.

Duncan turned and ran to swing open the doors, and they rushed inside. “That was a terrible storm to go walking in,” he told her, as he checked his horse’s hooves for stones.

With longing, Jenny took in the sight of his broad shoulders and muscular arms. “I dinnae see it coming. It was good luck that brought you to me.”

Duncan busied himself tending to his horse. Without looking up, he said, “It wasnae luck. My mother saw you leaving the village as the storm clouds blew in. When we heard the tree fall, she and Nellie sent me after you.”

“Oh.” Although she had no right to be, Jenny was disappointed that it had not been his idea. “Well, thank them for me.”

At last, he leveled a gaze, and her heart missed a beat. They had known one another too long and too well not to see more in a glance than either might wish to reveal. Duncan could not have missed her reaction, but he turned away and spoke as if to a stranger. “I’d have done it for anyone.”

“I know,” she said, watching him still. She could not help herself. His wet leine clung to his muscles as if to taunt her with how it would feel to touch him and know every part of that body again.