His Absolute Assignment - Elise's Love Story: The Billionaire's Continuum (#1) (A Contemporary Romance Novel) (7 page)

"You infuriate me sometimes," Lucent said, but his voice was soft and kind.  "I love you, too."

I looked into Lucent's eyes, losing myself in them.  He was a universe, mysterious and deep, and I wanted to explore and discover everything about him.  I wanted to show him every part of me, too.  I wanted us to learn about all this together, and to enjoy each other.  I wanted him to dance with me at business parties and cuddle against me in the middle of the halls at Landseer Tower.  I wanted him to unabashedly kiss me on the lips, and maybe even cradle my butt in his hands, pulling me against him; not just in private, but everywhere else, too.

I wanted a lot.  I wanted comfort and safety, and I felt it with Lucent.  I felt it so much; it was impossible not to.  I felt insecure sometimes, too, though.  Self-conscious, unsure if I was good enough, not knowing if I was doing well, uncertain if I was even doing the right thing.  Whenever I was with Lucent, whenever we were close and together, I never thought of those things, but when I was alone they all came crashing back to the fore of my mind, and it was hard to deal with sometimes.

I stared into Lucent's eyes for what felt like forever.

"Elise," Asher said, "have you ever considered narrating audiobooks?"

My attention jumped to the thought of audiobooks, and I considered it quickly.  Had I?  No, but maybe it would be neat?  Hm...

"No," Lucent said quickly.

I scrunched up my brow and pouted at him.  "What?  Why not?"

He whispered into my ear, quiet so that no one but me could hear him.  "Miss Tanner, your books are somewhat too arousing in subject matter for me to feel comfortable with that."

"Oh," I said.  Oh, um... "I'd be narrating my own stories?"

"I believe that's what Mr. Landseer had in mind.  Yes."

I looked to Asher and he confirmed with a laugh and a nod.  "It was just a joke."

I turned back to Lucent.  "Can I, though?" I asked.  "Can I narrate them for you?  Not to sell or to publish.  I don't think I'd want to do that."

Lucent blinked, clearly not expecting this turn of events.  "Do you want to?"

I bit my lip, shy and smiling, and nodded.

"Hm..."  Lucent said.  "Perhaps."  Swift, uncharacteristic, he dipped his head down and pulled my bottom lip away from me, nipping at it with his teeth.  He pulled it into his mouth, teased at the edge with his tongue, and then let it free.

My mouth dropped open and I gaped at him.  "Lucent!"

"My lip," he said.  "Don't tempt me into doing it again."

I bit my lower lip again, intentionally this time, but I also jumped from my chair at the same time, fleeing Lucent's playful, obsessive glare.  I laughed, smiling.

"I've got to go," I said.  "I think I'm going to go home soon.  Will you be here for much longer?"

"Unfortunately," Lucent said.  "Mr. Landseer and I have some important matters to discuss.  I apologize, Miss Tanner."

"Sorry, Elise," Asher added.  "I'll try not to keep Lucent for too long, though.  I know it's going to be a little stuffy, but Jessika and I really would like it if you could come tonight, too.  If you don't want to, I understand.  Maybe you could at least come for the ceremony, then leave when the company party starts?"

Lucent remained passive, nodding slightly to me, accepting.

"I'll go," I said.  "I just feel uncomfortable, that's all.  I know it's dumb, and I try not to, but it's just how I feel.  Will you dance with me, though, Lucent?  I know it's going to be a business thing and I know why you wouldn't want to.  I really do and I understand, but I'd just really love it if—"

"I will," Lucent said.  "Miss Tanner, I deeply apologize for what I said before.  I forget sometimes that... that our relationship is different from those I'm accustomed to.  I've..."  He looked towards Asher with a furtive glance, then back to me.  "I've never been involved with anyone in such a meaningful and important way as the way I feel you and I are involved with one another.  Our relationship is extremely special to me, but I'm still trying to adjust to the nuances of it.  Please forgive me for falling into old habits."

"I forgive you," I said, bouncing on my toes, giddy.  "I do understand.  I need to make compromises sometimes, too."

Lucent rose, fast and unexpected.  He swooped towards me like a practiced dancer and then swept me into his arms.  And then he kissed me.  This was not exactly a chaste kiss, either.  Not kinky or too excessive, but it was full of passion and love and longing.  I blinked—once, twice—then I kissed him back.  The tip of his tongue teased at my lips, but went no further.  I joined it with the end of mine, playing a careful, tantalizing game.  Our lips pressed softly together and he squeezed me tight against him, holding me.  I put my arms around him and held tight to his back and his shoulders.

"I'll try to be better in the future," he said when we finally broke away from our kiss.

"I think Mr. Landseer saw us," I said.

We both turned to look.  Asher pretended to be looking in an entirely different direction, eyes wandering everywhere but towards us.

"It's fine," Lucent said, grinning.  "I'll see you soon?"

I kissed him again, quick.  "Just call me when you leave, alright?"

"Alright."

I decided to go home.  After a quick side trip to collect my belongings from Lucent's office, I took the elevator to the underground parking area.  My car was where I left it.  I started it up, drove to the entrance, stopped to show my parking permit to the man in the booth near the exit to the street, and...

I was going to go home, but I changed my mind.  Instead of going right, I went left.  I drove two blocks, turned into a small parking lot on the right side, and parked my car in an empty space.  Grabbing my laptop bag, I hopped out of my car and made my way to the entrance of the library.

As soon as I walked inside, the girl behind the front desk greeted me.

"Hello!  Welcome to the—"  She paused, sizing me up.  "Oh, hey, Elise!"

I smiled and waved.  "Hey, Margaret.  How are you?"

"Good.  Bored.  I was hoping I could convince the next person who came in that they needed my help finding a book.  I'm stuck back here.  Everyone else is on lunch or busy.  If someone asks for a book, though... I can't turn them down, right?"

"You're asking me to ask you for help finding a book, aren't you?"  I laughed.

"Well, you know where everything is, so I guess you're not the best one to ask, but I'm desperate here.  Help?"

I shook my head.  Nope!  No way.  I didn't work here anymore, but I wasn't about to go against Rob's wishes, either.  "Is Rob around or will he be back soon?  I wanted to ask him something."

"Sure," Margaret said, forgetting her previous disappointment at not being able to get out of front desk duty.  "He should be back soon, I guess.  Five or ten minutes?  He's one of the lunchers.  I mean, he could eat lunch up here, don't you think?  I don't want to be presumptuous or anything, but..."

"He just wants to be professional," I said.  "How would it look if you were a patron and walked in to see somebody eating a sandwich?  Kind of weird."

"Is it?" Margaret asked, tilting her head to the side.  "You think so?  Huh!  I wouldn't care."

"Alright, well, how about if you walked into a restaurant and the host was eating a dinner roll at the front podium?"

"Um..."  She shrugged.  "I guess!  As long as it's not my dinner roll, I wouldn't mind.  The rolls are free anyways, aren't they?"

I laughed and stuck my tongue out at her.  "Maybe you're right.  How about I keep you company until Rob comes back?"

"Hey!  Sure!  So what have you been up to, anyways?  When are we going out again?  You want to tonight?  Or we could stay in.  Movie night!  I bet Vanessa's in.  It's weird now that we're out of college, huh?  I'm still looking for a better job, but it's cool here, too.  I mean, we can't all find great jobs right out of school, and the library's kind of fun."

"Yeah," I said.  "I can try and help if you need?  I don't know what I could do, but um...?"

"Are there any good jobs at that Landseer place?" she asked.

Margaret was a history major, which probably had absolutely nothing to do with tourism.  Who knew, though, right?

"I can ask?"

"That'd be so cool!  Right?  If we worked in the same place.  Do you have an office?  Does everyone get an office, or no?  You want to share your office with me, maybe?  I'm quiet.  You know me, Elise.  We're friends, right?  We could be office roomies or something."

"Margaret, you didn't even apply for a job yet!"  I laughed.  "I don't think there's such a thing as office roomies, either."

"Yeah?  Oh well."

Rob returned.  He was about to chastise Margaret, who was leaning over the counter talking to me and looking absolutely nothing like what a librarian should probably look like.  In all honesty, Margaret looked more like she should work somewhere a little less intellectual.  Looks can be deceiving, though, and she read an insane amount of books.  As a history major, she loved books in a different way, too.  I really enjoyed talking with her because of that.  She brought stories into a different light and supplied information that I never would have thought about; and all while being casual and upbeat about it.  I wished I could be more friendly like her, more adventurous.

"Margaret," Rob said, starting into the beginnings of a chastising speech.  Then he saw me standing opposite Margaret and stopped.

"Oh.  Hi, Elise.  How are you?  What brings you here?" he asked.  "Is everything alright?"

"Books," Margaret said.  "Duh.  Elise and books are like anyone else and air."

Rob pursed his lips and stared at Margaret.

I stifled a laugh and jabbed her with my elbow.  "Margaret!  Don't make Rob angry," I said to her, hushed.

"Sorry, Rob," she said.  "Elise comes in here a lot, though.  I mean..."

"It's nice to have you, Elise," Rob said, ignoring her.

"Thanks," I said.  "I'm doing well, too.  Everything's fine.  I just..."

After entering the library, after seeing Margaret and talking with her again as if I hadn't even left and still worked here, and now seeing Rob too, I felt so much better.  I did come here as much as I could, but I hadn't been able to visit too much lately.  I had a reason for being here today, though.  I told Rob about it and asked him if he'd be able to let me do it.  Maybe?

"Of course," he said.  "I'm not supposed to, though.  Let's keep this between you, me, and the wall."

"What about me?" Margaret asked, pouting.

"You, too," I said, smiling and patting her shoulder.

Rob just laughed.  "Come on.  I'll get the key.  You might want to open a window.  No one's been in there for awhile."

Lucent attempted to call Elise's phone, but after multiple rings he was directed to her voicemail.  He tried calling her again, but had similar luck the second time.  A text message met the same fate and went entirely unanswered.

Curious, he thought.  She'd asked him to call her once he finished at Landseer Tower, and now she wasn't answering her phone.

Previously, this would have worried him.  Irrationally so, though.  He knew he needed to stop doing that, to stop obsessing, to stop trying to control every minor part of everything around him.  It was extremely difficult, though, especially when it came to Elise.  He understood why she should want a moderate amount of distance at times, but he found it hard to stop thinking about anything but her whenever he gave it to her.

Or, no.  Distance wasn't a thing for him to give and take.  It was something she had all on her own, outside of their relationship.  Lucent recognized this, realized the difference, and yet...

He was used to control.  Domination and submission.  His relationships before meeting Elise were entirely of that nature.  He gave, and his submissives accepted.  They did nothing without his permission, because if they disagreed with his rules, he never began a relationship with them in the first place.  There was more, too.  Yes, there was some modicum of intimacy involved.  Sex, closeness.  He didn't act absolutely formal and austere every second of the day.

He'd never accepted unacceptance before, though; at least not from a woman he was involved with outside of business.  Presumably business and pleasure couldn't mix, and yet Miss Elise Tanner was making him question this every single day.  Lucent found himself adoring her every chance he got, sometimes for his own reasons and sometimes for hers.  They were together, yes, and she was his, but she was not always his, and she wasn't only his.  She was hers, too.

He was also hers.  He'd always expected his previous submissives to give themselves completely to him, and out of a personal resolve he'd only maintained one submissive at a time, not wishing to muddy the waters, as it were.  He'd never given himself to them, though.  He'd never connected on a level other than what domination and submission entailed.  He preferred an aloof stance with BDSM because it provided him with an answer to one of his needs.

He wanted control, but a part of him yearned for it because it could control him, too.  He needed order, desired certainty, hated chaos and illogical thought.

Nothing with Elise was certain.  Her logic was without rhyme or reason most of the time.  Even when she gave herself to him, he never truly felt as if he was controlling her.

She was, in a lot of ways, perfect.

He wanted to give her everything, all of himself.  He wanted her to know him, he wanted to open up for her, and he wanted to become better simply because he hoped one day to be good enough for her.  It was a strange cluster of emotions that he'd never truly dealt with before, but he found it oddly palatable.

He knew not to worry, because Elise wouldn't want him to worry.  Their relationship had taken a strange turn in those regards.  In their private lives, they enjoyed the occasional bout of BDSM, with him being the dominant and her being the submissive.  Somehow, in all of their lives, he felt like she was dominating him in a different way, though.  She controlled his emotions, consumed his thoughts, and made him yearn for...