His Angel: The Angel Trilogy Book One (25 page)

“No, wait, I’m on the pill. I can’t be pregnant,” I declare.

“Abby, really? It’s only ninety-nine percent and let’s face it doll, if anyone can be that one percent, it’s you.” She laughs now.

“What do I do? I don’t know what to do.” Panic begins to creep in that door of destruction, the destruction that can rock my world. What will Evan say? We haven’t talked about having children. Is he going to be happy or upset?

“Well first thing first. You need to take a pregnancy test,” she says.

“Um…I don’t know how to use those. I will just call the doctor,” I whisper as the reality is setting in and the nausea is in full force.

“Abby, you pee on a stick, it’s not that hard.” She laughs.

“Well, have you had to do this before?” I ask naïvely, because of course she has, I know that. She rolls her eyes at me now.

“I will run to the pharmacy and grab a few, I’ll be right back,” she says as she exits the bathroom. It is already almost eight in the morning and I’m going to be late anyway; might as well be really late. I find my phone and call the office to let them know I will be in as soon as I can. Luckily, it is Melissa that takes my call and she seems very sympathetic to the possibility that I have the stomach flu.

Amy gets back in record time. Typically, when in a store of any kind she has to stop and look at every possible item that she can buy.

“Ok, ok pee,” she demands. I begin reading the directions, reading
every
word trying to buy the time I need so I won’t have to go through with this.

What would I do with a baby? What will I say to Evan? I thought I missed a pill in June, but I completely forgot about it and
now
I’m remembering. Too little too late.

“Just pee on the damn stick Abby!” Amy wants to know more than I do.
What if Evan is mad at me for letting this happen?

“I’m scared, I don’t want to know.” I throw the test at the sink.

Amy approaches and kneels down next to me. “Abby, you love Evan, Evan loves you. If you’re pregnant, you’ll deal.”

There is some truth to what she says. I love Evan to my core with every cell of my being and I know he loves me just as much, well maybe a little less cause I’m not really sure how anyone can love more than I love him.

“Just pee on the damn stick Abby,” Amy whines.

“Get out so I can.” She turns around and shuts the door behind her.

It probably doesn’t make any difference that she isn’t in here because I’m sure she’s stuck to the door listening, making sure I pee on the damn thing.

When I finish I gently place the stick on the sink. I open the door for Amy because I just can’t bear to do this without her. I need her here more than ever.

“Three minutes,” she announces, taking my hand for support.

“I need coffee,” I say, knowing that lately the smell of coffee has been making me sick so I simply opt for a hot cocoa instead.

“You can’t drink coffee if you’re pregnant,” she hisses.

“Relax, the smell of coffee has been making me really nauseous in the morning, probably because that’s when I’m sick so I’m just going to make some cocoa. I at least need to pretend like its coffee.”

“Abby, I have a friend in New York that got pregnant and she couldn’t stand coffee after that.” The look on her face is sadness at the probability that I’m pregnant; even though I think she’s really excited deep down.

“Time’s up!” she hums, running back to the bathroom.

Yea, I’d say she’s very excited.

I can’t follow. I remain in my seat on the couch where I just sat down, my warm mug in hand. Amy walks into the living room with the test trying to hide the smile on her face.
Shit!
I close my eyes tight hoping that if I can’t see her then I can’t hear her either. I know it’s pointless, but what the hell.

“Abby, it’s positive.” She does a little dance in the spot she stands. I don’t share in her excitement. “When are you going to tell Evan?” she asks.

“I don’t know, let me see that thing. Can it be wrong? It can be wrong, right?” There is a little digital readout that says I am pregnant.

There is a little Evan in my tummy, a tiny little Evan.

“It’s not wrong you’re going to be a momma and Evan is going to be a daddy and you’re going to live happily ever after.”

I’m not so sure that I know what happily ever after is like, but it sounds nice.

“I have to get to work.” I stand from my seat, taking my mug to the sink to rinse out.

“Well, I love you, congrats momma!” She beams, laying a big hug on me.

I leave the apartment feeling a lot better than I had been earlier this morning, but now I have news that I hadn’t expected. I don’t know how to feel. Should I be happy, sad, scared to death? Yeah I think it’s the latter. I
am
scared to death. A baby? Can I take care of a precious helpless baby? I’m barely able to take care of myself. Seriously. I don’t know what to do.

My phone alerts me to a text as I arrive at my car. I know it’s probably Evan and I want to tell him what’s going on, but I don’t know how. I promised him I was on the pill and while I am, forgetting to take it every once in a while never came up.

I decide I need to see my gynecologist and make sure that everything is ok. I have been taking the pill except for the one or two days that I forgot. I have a worry ping in my gut. I’m not sure what to think about this pregnancy thing.

I call my doctor and they are able to get me right in. While I am grateful for that, I am also terrified. Terrified that they are going to tell me that the pregnancy test is right, terrified that they are going to tell me it is wrong, and terrified I am pregnant and something is wrong with the baby. The emotional roller coaster I’m on is pulling me in a thousand directions and they are all leading to a foreign place I’ve never been.

The waiting room is full of pregnant mothers with little children clinging to their sides. There are a few young women that look even more terrified than I am. Which is insanely comforting.

I pick up the first magazine I see, trying to think about something else, anything else. The magazine that I’m holding in my hand is a parenting magazine with a little boy on the front. I imagine it’s a little Evan Jr. I smile at the thought.

The article inside talks about potty training, teething, and all of the different techniques one can use to help with the smooth transition of adding children to a relationship.

I don’t know how adding a child to my life can be smooth. I have never been around babies, I have been around younger children when my cousin’s would visit, but it’s been a few years since they were considered small.

I’ve never changed a diaper or fed a baby.
Oh my God, how do babies eat?
I mean I know they use bottles or breastfeed, but I wouldn’t know where to start. Would I bottle feed the baby, would I breastfeed him? There is a trickle of sweat falling from my brow as the questions form in my head.

“Ms. Hayes.” The nurse calls my name.

It’s time to find out what my future holds and I really wish Evan was here to hold my hand. My stomach turns with fear now.

I follow the tall brunette through the hallway first to be weighed and then to the room where my fate will be sealed and my life will change forever.

The nurse weighs me and then asks that I urinate in a specimen cup. I open the bathroom door, staring at the cup they expect me to pee in. The sickness works its way up again as I prepare to follow the directions the nurse gave me. I do as they ask and then I put it through a little metal door that leads to their lab so they can check it for whatever it is they check it for, I don’t really want to know. I’m just not sure how these nurses do what they do, God love them, but I couldn’t do it...

When I walk out into the hallway the nurse is waiting for me. I follow her to a room down the hall to the left of the large nurse’s station. She takes my blood pressure and asks me a few questions then says the doctor will be right in. The door closes behind her and the tiny room starts to enclose. My breathing hitches and fear takes over.

The florescent lights are bright and I can feel the warmth take me into a sweat. My hands shake and my heart pounds in my ears.

The seconds tick by into what feels like hours. I want to run from this room. I want to jump out of the damn window, well if there was a damn window, but there isn’t. I don’t know what the doctor is going to say and any scenario that I come up with scares me to death.

Knock. Knock.

“Hello? Ms. Hayes?” Dr. Ambrose announces her presence and enters the room. She recognizes the fear in my eyes. Apparently she sees
this
a lot more than I thought. “Ms. Hayes.”

“Abby, please,” I interrupt. The last thing I need is to be Ms. Hayes right now. That is way too formal and that is not going to help my nerves. It’s way too clinical for my taste.

“Abby…What brings you in here today?” she asks as she sits down on the little round stool in front of me. Dr. Ambrose isn’t my usual doctor, but seeing as I needed to be seen right away I was cool with having another doctor today.

“Well, I took a home pregnancy test this morning and it was…Positive,” I announce.

“Ok, well.” She looks down to the file she holds in her hand. “It appears you are indeed pregnant.” She smiles kindly.

I don’t know what emotion to let go of in this second, there are so many that storm the halls of my mind.

“Well…I…have been taking the pill and I…will it hurt the baby?” I spit out once I have the nerve.

She continues to smile and while that is comforting it is also kind of annoying. I don’t know how I feel about all of this and I don’t know if I’m ready for smiles and congratulations just yet, if ever. She writes me a prescription for a prenatal vitamin. Once all of my questions have been answered she announces I will need to come back in a month for my prenatal visit and to make sure that I take the prenatal vitamins every day.

I walk out of the building with an overwhelming feeling. I need to speak with Evan. I need comforting words to flow from his beautiful lips. I need his amazing dimples to shine bright at me and then, and only then, I will know that everything will be ok.

“Abby?” a female voice calls. I turn my body to see a woman standing fifteen feet away. She’s familiar; tall, blonde, full figured, her busty body is holding a helmet, she is setting it down on a red motorcycle.

“Can I help you?” I ask confused.

A horn blares in my ear as I wait for her response. She struts over in her tight jeans and black top.

“Hi Abby, you don’t know me, but I’m friends with Evan.” She holds her hand out and produces a gentle smile.

“I am really worried about Evan, do you think I can join you for a cup of coffee and we can chat?”

I’m so excited to meet one of Evan’s friends. “Oh, yes of course. I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name.” I smile and take her hand.

“Monica.” That name sounds so familiar to me, but I don’t remember Evan mentioning a friend named Monica. But he never really talks about his friends.

“Sure, I was just going to run in and grab a cup of tea on my break, but I have a few minutes.” I smile, glancing to my watch. She nods her head and enters in front of me.

Remy’s isn’t busy this time of day and I’m grateful to get my caffeine fix sooner rather than later. Monica and I sit down at a table in the rear corner next to the window. I cross my legs as I sip my tea.

“How do you know Evan?” I’m so curious about his life.

I want to know what he does when he isn’t with me. He’s so secretive about work and rarely mentions his friends; he never talks about it and I’m beginning to realize that it bothers me. I want a peek into the life Evan led before he met me.

Monica is beautiful, her eyes hold impressive lashes. “Abby, you are just as amazing as Evan said.” Her eyes begin to go dark; my gut says something is off, but I try to wave the feeling off with my next breath.

“Thank you, that is very kind,” I say, fully dismissing my concern.

The door dings as someone walks in. Monica turns her head to see who has entered, quickly turning her head back towards me.

“Abby?” Monica glares at me now and the warning pings are back.