His Captive Bride (27 page)

She spread the woolen blanket across the sand. The material was worn from years of use, felt soft as she sat down, tucking her bare feet beneath her. “Hauk, what did you mean when you said, ‘we have become almost too peaceful’?” She looked up at the gentle waterfall. “How could it be possible for Asgard to become
too
peaceful?”

“Because you
utlending
keep extending the boundaries of your world and coming closer to ours.” His voice became somber. “For six hundred years we have been safe here. Few ships ever venture into these northern waters—but with each passing century, your people build bigger and stronger ships, and explore farther into the unknown reaches of the world.” The fire sparked and flared to life. “Someday the outsiders will find us.”

Avril felt a shiver go through her at the hollow certainty in his voice.

“And we have become so accustomed to peace rather than war,” he continued, the glow of the flames accenting the hard set of his jaw, “that we may not be able to defend ourselves when that day finally comes.”

Avril thought of the kind, amiable people in town, of little Marta and her family, of Josette and Keldan, and her heart clenched. She knew that the violent men of her world—the lords and princes and kings—would not hesitate to wage war to lay claim to this place.

“You have to do whatever you can to protect yourselves,” she blurted. “You have to... to raise an army—”

“Build a fleet of warships? Give everyone weapons and teach them to kill? That would destroy the very way of life we are trying to protect.” He gazed out at the waters of the cove, glassy and black in the darkness. The mast of his
knorr
was just visible in the distance, outlined by the moonlight. “The time may come when I am forced to recommend that, but for now I have argued that we should change some of our traditions, such as the Claiming voyage. Because every time we venture out—”

“You risk having someone follow you home.”

He nodded, glancing toward her. “And in these times, with so many people crowding your world, we must be more cautious than ever about remaining hidden here. We must take greater care to protect Asgard’s secret.” A look of regret came into in his eyes. “At all costs.”

Avril held his gaze, understanding as she never had before why it was so vitally important to him that none of the captive brides leave Asgard.

Including her.

He had not kept her from returning to Giselle because he was unkind or uncaring; he cared a great deal.

But he also cared deeply for his people.

“So that is why you are the only one who leaves anymore,” she said quietly.

He came over to sit next to her on the blanket, declined the water flask she offered and picked up the wine. “It is my duty to keep watch on the
utlending
, so that if necessary, we can take up arms.” He took a long drink. “I observe their ports and their ships. Gather what news I can. Listen for word of explorers who might travel in this direction.”

A chill chased down her spine. “But you said that you cannot survive away from Asgard—”

“Not for more than six days. My voyages are, by necessity, short. And I go only two or three times a year. But it is a risk I must take.”

Her heart thudded at the danger he was placing himself in. “And if something were to happen to you while you were on one of these expeditions—”

“Away from the island, we do not have its healing protection. In Antwerp, two of our party were killed.”

The pain in his voice brought a sharp ache to the center of her chest. “Hauk, I am sorry. It must be difficult to lose friends you have known so long.”

He did not reply for a moment, the rush of the waterfall and the crackling of the fire filling the silence.

“They were young,” he said gruffly. “Too young to listen when I told them what the dangers would be. Too eager. We only undertake the Claiming voyage every thirty years, when a new generation has come of age.”

“Like Keldan.”

“Aye, like Keldan.” A rueful grin tugged at his mouth. “He wanted to go on the last voyage, but the elders refused because he was only twenty, barely more than a boy.” Hauk’s smile faded. “He has waited a long time for his bride.”

Avril saw concern in his expression and it troubled her. “Do you not think Keldan and Josette will be happy together?”

He set the flask aside and stood, walking toward the edge of the cove, the ocean breezes ruffling his hair. “They will be fine. She will be very happy. As will their children.”

“And Keldan?”

“Keldan is still...” He hesitated. “Too young to understand.” He did not look back at her, his words almost lost on the wind. “What it will be like, when she is gone.”

Avril heard the sorrow that laced his voice—and felt as if the moon had just fallen from the sky and knocked her to the ground. “You have been married before,” she said, her voice shaking, “to a woman like me, to an
utlending
.”

For a moment, she was not sure he would answer her.

“Twice.”

She gasped, too shocked to speak. But of course. Of course he would have been married before. God’s mercy, she could not believe she had not guessed sooner.

“You wanted children,” she whispered. “A family.”

He did not reply, standing there as still as one of the distant rocks that protected Asgard, battered by the cold sea. Only the unsteady rise and fall of his shoulders as he struggled for breath betrayed any emotion.

Avril shut her eyes, anguish opening some deep place in her heart. He had said that the only reason an
innfodt
married a mortal was to have a family. But he did not have a family.

And he had called it a foolish, senseless tradition.

Now she saw those words in a different, more painful light. Aching, she stood and went to him. “Hauk,” she asked softly, “what happened?”

He flinched when she touched his back but did not turn around. And did not speak for a moment.

Then the words started to come, haltingly.

“My first wife, Karolina”—his voice was strained, as if he had not said the name aloud in many years—”died in childbirth and our son with her, after we had been together a year. My second wife, Maeve...” He tilted his head back, looking up at the night sky. “Died after we had been together more than fifty years. But in all that time, she never conceived.”

Closing her eyes, Avril rested her forehead against his back. “Hauk, I am so sorry,” she whispered.

She felt him shrug. “It happens to some couples. Large families are rare here. Most have only two or three children, which is mayhap for the best.”

“That is not what I meant. I am sorry that you lost them.” She lifted her head. “I am surprised that you would marry again, after you lost your first wife.”

He turned to look down at her.

And a moment of understanding passed between them, too deep for words.

“We are not gods, Avril,” he said softly. “Only men. Men who live and work and laugh... and want.” His voice roughened. “And need.”

She blinked hard against the tears that blurred her vision.
And dream
. Hauk had dreamed, like any ordinary man. Dreams that had never come true. He had longed for a family—and instead had been left alone, to carry inside him all the sorrow and loss of many lifetimes.

She did not know how he could bear it.

“I had not planned to take another bride.” He touched her cheek, grazing his thumb along her jaw. “Ever.”

For one moment, a single heartbeat, she tried to resist the tenderness in his eyes, to keep denying this feeling she had been fighting against so hard.

Then she leaned into him, sliding her arms around him, unable to stay within the safe boundary she had drawn around her heart. Not when everything within her wanted to hold him and comfort him.

Slowly, his arms circled her and drew her in close.

She pressed her cheek against his chest, listening to his strong heartbeat. “No wonder everyone has been besieging us with gifts,” she whispered with a pained smile. “They did not expect you to marry again.”

He stroked her back, his hands warm through the linen of her tunic. “I have been resisting my uncle’s prodding on the matter for most of the past century.”

“Your uncle? The man from the council of elders, the one who looks like you?” she guessed. “I thought he was your brother.”

“Nay, he is my uncle, Erik. My grandfather, Hakon Valbrand, was the leader of the group of explorers who discovered Asgard. Before he died, he had two sons—the eldest, my father, who was
vokter
before me, and Erik. They were part of the first generation of
innfodt
. The fourteen men who survived from that generation make up our council of elders.”

“And the others,” she asked hesitantly, “the ones who did not survive—”

“Were the ones who could not accept being made captive here. Could not accept what they were. What Asgard had made them. They persisted in trying to find some way to be free.” He paused. “None were successful.”

Her heart beat painfully hard in her chest. “And your father was one of them?” she asked gently.

He nodded.

She shut her eyes. “How old were you?”

“Eight.” His chest rose and fell shallowly beneath her cheek.

She did not ask any more, simply holding him as he had held her before, sensing that he had already told her far more than he had told anyone in a long time.

But after a moment, he continued, unbidden.

“He loved my mother so deeply that he could not bear to lose her. He thought if he could discover Asgard’s secret, find a way to give her the gift of being
innfodt
...” He exhaled sharply. “He thought he had succeeded. I do not know how. I was too young to understand. I only knew that the experiment killed her. And my father felt such remorse, he sailed away from the island, taking her body with him... and stayed away longer than six days, apurpose.”

“Oh, Hauk.” Avril felt his grief knife through her, could only imagine how hurt and confused and angry a young boy of eight would have been, left behind. Left alone.

“My uncle Erik was so furious, he burned my father’s notes, his books, destroyed everything he had used in those accursed experiments.” Hauk unwrapped himself from her embrace and turned away, toward the cove. “For years I hated my father for what he had done. It was not until much later...” He hung his head, looking down at the dark waves that washed across the shore. “That I understood him.”

“After you lost Karolina,” Avril said softly.

“Aye.” His tone became harsh. “My uncle was determined that I not make my father’s mistake. He raised me to accept my place here and devote myself to training to be
vokter
. And I did—until I lost my wife and son. Then I neglected my duty, indulged in drink and danger and whatever willing women I could find and whatever
reason
I could find to open my eyes in the morn. That was when I...”

He turned toward her again, a look of unspeakable pain shadowing his features.

“When I understood why my father did what he did.” His voice choked out for a moment. “Because everything and everyone around us, even those we bring here and care for and protect,
dies
. While no matter what we do, we go on.” He shook his head. “Unchanged.”

Alone
, Avril thought. Even after he had taken the risk of loving again, married a second time, he had been left alone. But no pleasure, no drink, no risk could fill that part of his soul that ached for what he had lost. For what had lasted so briefly and been so sweet.

For love.

She walked over to him, silently, and took his hand in hers.

He drew her close, with a low sound of pain. “I did not want another wife, Avril. Do you not understand—”

“I understand,” she said brokenly, even as she tilted her face up to his.

“I had accepted that I would always be alone.” His hands tangled in her hair. “That I was
meant
to be alone.” His blue eyes burned with intensity. “Forever.”

 As he said the last word, he shut his eyes—but not before she caught the glimmer of dampness there.

It made the last of her defenses against him, this strong, impossible Norseman with a warrior’s courage and a gentle soul, crumble and vanish.

Lifting her hands to his face, she cupped his stubbled cheeks in her palms. “Hauk...” She could not find words to express the feelings that overwhelmed her.

Instead, she drew him down to her and kissed him. Told him without speaking that he was not alone. That she was here with him, that she
wanted
to be with him.

Because she cared for him, deeply.

His mouth was warm against hers, the kiss slow and soft and infinite. But she could feel his muscles going taut, as if he were fighting an inner battle—some deep place in him determined to remain alone and apart, unwilling to accept the caring she offered.

But she was unwilling to retreat, and only offered more.

Threading her fingers into his hair, she drew him closer. Allowed all the tenderness she felt to show in her touch, her kiss. Offered him all of herself, body and heart and soul.

She could not think anymore, not about the impossible differences between his world and hers, or the past or the future or any time but
now
. Any place but
here
. Here, where they were together in this secluded haven, cloaked by the night and surrounded by the sounds of the waves and the water falling from the cliffs.

The heat that had flared between them from the moment they met shimmered and caught fire.

And something within him seemed to give way, like a defensive palisade that had finally burned to ashes.

A groan escaped him, a sound filled with torment and longing, and he responded to her, fiercely. One of his hands fisted in her hair, his mouth slanting over hers, his tongue thrusting deep. His other arm fastened around her, hard as iron. Avril moaned at the raw power of his hunger for her. Desire, lightning-hot, scattered her senses and struck sparks through her body. The world spun dizzily. She clutched at his hard-muscled arms.

Their kiss became an urgent mating of lips and tongues, breath and longing. Scorching. Impatient. She melded her body to his, could not get close enough. His rigid length pressed against her and she arched into him with a low sound of need, her voice echoed by his. Heat curled in her belly. His hold on her shifted.