His Good Opinion: A Mr. Darcy Novel (28 page)

Business took Darcy to Matlock for two weeks in the middle of June, and not wanting Georgiana to be alone, he asked if she would wish to stay with their aunt and uncle. Her pensive frown should have told him she had something in mind, but he had forgotten her normally observant nature.

It was not until they were on their way back to Pemberley two weeks later that he realized his mistake. She waited until they were comfortably ensconced in the carriage and on the main road before she turned to him.

Darcy laughed. "Why do you look at me with such a serious expression, Georgiana? Have I done something to vex you?"

Georgiana frowned and shook her head impatiently. "Of course not, Fitzwilliam. You know you are the best brother--no one could be kinder to me. That is why I must ask what is troubling you."

Darcy crossed his arms over his chest. "Whatever makes you think something troubles me?"

She leaned forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Please, Fitzwilliam, won't you trust me? You were so good to me last summer when I... when I needed you." She blushed, but did not drop her eyes. "I only wish to be as much help to you."

Darcy swallowed. He could not refuse such a request, but everything in him revolted at the notion of exposing his misfortune to anyone, even to his beloved sister. He thought for a long moment and then said, "Do you recall me writing to you of Elizabeth Bennet last fall?"

Georgiana tapped her chin and then smiled. "Was she not one of the young ladies you wished I could meet?"

"She is." Darcy carefully considered his next words. "I have found myself thinking of her often, but... there are circumstances which are likely to prevent us from ever meeting again."

Georgiana clasped her hands together on her lap. "Fitzwilliam, are you in love with her?"

He shifted uneasily in his seat. It was this very question he had been trying to avoid, and in the end, he did not truly answer. "I will only say that I admire her more than any other female I have ever met, besides you and Mother."

"And these... circumstances, they are what has been troubling you?"

If by "circumstances" you mean my own foolish behavior.
But this would tell Georgiana more than he wished her to know about the events of the spring, so he merely nodded and said, "They are."

She frowned. "If you admire her so very much, I do not see why you do not find a way around them."

Her innocence broke Darcy's heart. "You will find, dearest, that there are some things not even the stoutest heart can overcome."

"I suppose," she said, but she still looked doubtful. "But what if you were to meet her again?"

"That is unlikely ever to happen. The family is not often in town, and Hertfordshire is quite a ways away from Pemberley."

"But if you were?" she pressed.

"Please, Georgiana, I cannot consider it."

The pain in his voice ended her questioning, and the carriage was silent for a good thirty minutes. "I am saddened I shall never meet Miss Elizabeth," Georgiana said finally. "I think, given your approbation, that I would like her very much."

Darcy smiled sadly. "I believe you would, Georgiana. I believe you would like her very much indeed."

To his surprise, Darcy found that sharing even a part of his burden with Georgiana helped. Some of his melancholy lifted, and by the end of July, he was able to look forward to the coming visit with Bingley with a degree of pleasure.

He broached the subject with Georgiana in late July. "I invited Bingley and his sisters to join us here for a few weeks, in thanks for their hospitality last fall. Would you care to travel with me to London to bring them hither, or shall you stay here?"

"I will come with you, I believe."

"Good, I have a gift in mind for you, and it is one you had best choose for yourself."

She wrinkled her nose. "A gift?"

Darcy chuckled. "You will have to wait till we arrive in London to learn more--I must still have some power of surprising you."

Georgiana attempted to wheedle more information out of Darcy for the next week, but he deflected every attempt. Thus, when their first stop in London was not Darcy House, but a renowned music shop, he was rewarded with a girlish squeal.

"Oh, Fitzwilliam, are you sure? A new pianoforte? The one we have at Pemberley is perfectly suitable --"

"-- for a novice," Darcy finished. "You, my dear sister, are no longer a novice. If you are to truly excel, we must get you a new instrument."

The workshop owner was most solicitous, once he realized Darcy had every intention of making a purchase. Georgiana wandered the floor, stroking the veneer on this instrument, checking the action on another.

Darcy observed that though she looked at all the pianofortes available, she came back to one over and over. After the fourth time, when she actually sat down and played for a few minutes, Darcy turned to the man and said, "I believe we have made our choice. You will see that it is delivered to Pemberley?" He wrote a bank draft and left directions to the estate, then he and Georgiana left.

The coachman had hardly closed the door when she turned to Darcy, stars in her eyes. "Oh, Brother, you are too good to me! A Broadwood grand!"

Darcy leaned back in the seat and smiled indulgently. "Even one as unmusical as myself could tell it produced the best sound, Georgiana. Will you be happy to find it in your music room when we return to Pemberley?" The smile on her face was all the answer he needed.

Darcy stopped by Bingley's lodgings that night and found a warm welcome. "Darcy, I cannot tell you how glad I was to receive your letter last week, confirming your invitation to us. London has been quite dull this summer."

"Surely you did not stay in town? Did the Hursts not invite you to join them?" Mr. Hurst owned a small estate in Richmond, and though it was not as fine as Pemberley, it at least would have been cooler than London.

Bingley grimaced. "He did, but I only stayed a few weeks. It may surprise you, but even I grow weary of my sisters at times. I had thought to spend some energy looking for an estate of my own, but I will not be free of Netherfield until Michaelmas, and..."

Darcy could easily fill in the blank--"and my last attempt to settle down did
not
end as I had hoped." He examined his friend closely and saw sadness behind the cheerful smile.
He still regrets Miss Bennet
. Never had Darcy felt the justice of Elizabeth's reproach so strongly, and were he but certain of the constancy of the lady's regard, he would have confessed all to his friend on the spot.

Instead, he said, "Well, I hope you will not mind the presence of your sisters at Pemberley. I could not very well exclude them, when you all showed me such hospitality last autumn."

Bingley laughed. "Even if I did mind, I would not dare suggest you exclude Caroline from Pemberley's hallowed grounds. I left Richmond in part to avoid her constant comments on the subject."

Darcy groaned. "Perhaps we might stay in town and send the ladies on ahead?" he said, only half joking.

Bingley shook his head, and Darcy was glad to see mischief in his eyes. "I fear the estate would be nothing without its master."

"Very well, but you may warn her I have no intention of being monopolized. I will not be settling down anytime soon." He hid all traces of pain when he made that statement. "You will be ready to leave day after tomorrow?" Bingley nodded. "Good. Then I should go home to my supper."

The party left London early in the morning, and they had not been on the road for an hour when Darcy realized how right Bingley's veiled warning had been. Miss Bingley would not allow anyone else to speak, and she would speak to none but him. In the closed environment of the carriage, Darcy could not ignore her without giving her the cut direct.

By the time they reached the posting station where they took a light nuncheon, Darcy feared he could no longer withhold his scathing remarks. Therefore, he was glad to find a letter from his steward waiting for him.

"What news is it, Mr. Darcy?" Miss Bingley purred. "Nothing that will postpone our visit, I hope."

"What?" Darcy questioned sharply, and then regained control of his temper. "No, nothing as serious as that. However, my steward has some business he would like to discuss with me, and as I would prefer to be at leisure during your stay, I am sure you understand if I ride ahead and leave you to follow with the carriage."

From her expression, he could see she did not know if she should be gratified he wished to have no entanglements during her visit, or put out that he would leave. Bingley's ready agreement robbed her of either option, and the matter was settled.

After their repast, Bingley followed Darcy out to the stable where he mounted his horse. "Tell me truly, Darcy--will our visit inconvenience you in any way?"

Darcy shook his head. "Not in the slightest. The matter with my steward is very minor and could in truth probably wait another day. However..." Darcy glanced back at the inn.

"Ah, I see. You seek an escape from Caroline. Well, I cannot blame you there. We shall see you on the day after tomorrow."

"Watch out for Georgiana for me--I am trusting you with her care."

"Of course."

On horseback, Darcy was able to cover half the remaining distance before nightfall. He spent the night at a small roadside inn where he was well known, and set out again at first light. The rolling hills of the Midlands soon gave way to the more rugged countryside of Derbyshire, and Darcy spurred his horse on, eager to be at home.

Darcy turned off the main road about half a mile from the Pemberley drive and followed a shortcut that led directly to the stables. He waved to the tenant farmers he passed along the way, but he did not stop. This close to home, he would not allow any delays.

This approach gave the view of Pemberley from the side, with the stream seeming to flow out from the house itself. The first glimpse of Pemberley always filled Darcy with a combined sensation of pride and contentment, and latterly, a sense of longing.
If I could see Elizabeth here...

In the stable, Darcy passed the reins off to a stable hand and gave explicit instructions on where to return the animal. He was pulling his riding gloves off as he headed toward the house when he heard a sound that did not belong.

Shock flooded him when he looked up, and he stood there ridiculously, one glove half off. He blinked, but still she stood before him.

"Miss Bennet!"

Darcy took in every detail of Elizabeth's appearance, from her slightly rumpled traveling gown to the light blush coloring her cheeks. She turned, and he spied one curl which the wind had teased free from her pins. It caressed her cheek, and Darcy's hands shook with the effort it took to restrain himself from starting forward to brush it back behind her ear.

An instant later, her actions registered.
She is leaving!
He covered the remaining yards between them in a few quick steps and bowed low before her. "Miss Bennet," he repeated, his voice calmer.

Elizabeth turned back, looked at him, and flushed cherry red. "Mr. Darcy."

She seems almost embarrassed, but why? Unless... Could she have believed better of me after reading the letter?

The thought gave him courage. "It is a pleasure to see you again. May I ask how your family is doing?"

She inclined her head. "They are all very well, thank you very much."

The quiet control in her voice did not satisfy him, and he pressed further. "Indeed, your mother and father, and your sisters?"

She smiled at last. "Yes, indeed, they are all quite well, thank you."

Darcy glanced at the couple who stood a few feet away, and then back to Elizabeth.
"Have you been in the country long?"

"Only a few days, sir."

Sir--how he hated such formality from her.

Elizabeth again made a motion as if to leave, and Darcy sought frantically for a topic, any topic, that would keep her with him. "And what do you think of Derbyshire so far?" he asked, finally recollecting that she must be traveling.

Real animation sparkled in her eyes. "It is beautiful." A breeze caught the errant curl, and she tucked it back with an economical, practiced gesture. "I have never seen anything like the Peaks before."

A genuine smile crossed her face, and Darcy caught his breath.
My memory did not do her justice.

Ironically, it was that which impressed upon him the immensity of the moment. Elizabeth was here, in Derbyshire--at his home, even! The wave of panic he had been holding in swept over him. He had not the slightest idea what to say next, and he had an inkling that he had repeated himself several times in their short conversation. After standing in awkward silence for a few minutes, he bowed once more and excused himself.

Darcy had not gone many steps before reason woke him and he realized he had thrown away his one chance to redeem himself in her eyes. "She may never think well enough of me to return my love, but if I can show her that I have taken her criticism to heart, then perhaps she will at least think better of me," he murmured, and his steps toward the house quickened to a near run.