His Outback Cowgirl (Wildflower Ranch Book 4) (12 page)

Zane grinned at her, a smile almost identical to her own, as he opened a bottle of red wine. “Perfect timing. Mom needs help finding a recipe. She’s disappeared into the library.”

“Okay. I’ll go and find her.”

Bridie made her way to the library her mom had started when Zane was a baby and which now was a room of wall-to-wall books. She still found it hard to believe her mother had had another life before she’d married her father. A life she only talked about to her husband and not her daughter because it had caused so much heartache. Naïve and young, she’d married an older man to please her family. Her cold and powerful husband soon became abusive and once he had the sons he’d wanted, he’d used her postnatal depression to force her away from her home and her children.

Bridie walked into the room that had been her mother’s sanctuary and that she no longer needed with her ex-husband now long gone. Sadness filtered through Bridie. Even though her gentle mother never had the chance to reconnect with her youngest son, Russ, who’d died in a light plane crash, she was finally reunited with Zane and had met her grandson.

Her mother stood beside a small table, a pile of books beside her. Dressed in an elegant pale blue dress, she barely resembled the wan and rail-thin woman Bridie had put on a plane to Montana six weeks ago. Her grey hair was coiled into a neat bun, her frail limbs were now fuller and stronger, but most of all the light had returned to her blue eyes.

“Hi, sweetheart.” Her smile widened. “Don’t you look nice?”

“Thanks.” Bridie kissed her cheek and breathed in her familiar lavender scent. “You do too.”

Emotion thickened her words. She’d come so close to losing her. Before her father had fallen ill, her mother had fought long and hard to survive breast cancer.

“Can I please have your pavlova recipe to share with Payton? I’m also trying to find an old-fashioned lime cake recipe my mother used to bake. I know I once had a cookbook with it in it.”

“No worries.” Bridie walked toward the door. “I’ll write it down for Payton after I’ve helped with lunch.”

On her first visit to the long table Zane had placed in the shade of an old cottonwood tree, Bridie sat two pitchers of water. She waved to Henry who sat in a comfortable chair across the lawn, talking to Lesley, the bookstore owner, and Hank, the Hollyhock Creek ranch foreman.

On her second visit she set a vase of sweet-smelling pink roses in the middle of the elegant table. She stepped back to check the table settings were complete. Her grief stirred. If only she could have set a place for her father and he could have shared in her mother’s special day, a day they’d once celebrated as though it could be her mother’s last. Bridie’s walk back to the kitchen wasn’t quite so fast.

On her third trip Bridie placed a basket of fresh bread rolls on the table. She looked up and her eyes met Ethan’s. He smiled and she forced a smile in return. Finn left the sandpit and walked over to where Ethan stood with Cordell and fellow rancher, Rhett, and slipped his small hand into Ethan’s. This time the emotion that lanced through her wasn’t only grief. Being around Finn these past weeks had awakened her deep yearning to have a family of her own. And being around Ethan had unlocked feelings she wasn’t ready to examine.

Throat tight and desperate for air, she swung away. She couldn’t wait until her next mountain trip to be alone. She needed space ... now.

W
hen Bridie again went through the kitchen door, instinct told Ethan she wouldn’t appear again. With every trip to the table her shoulders were a little more stiff and her smile more brittle. She might look picture-perfect in her summer dress that clung to her curves and revealed the shapely length of her legs, but he knew better. She’d perfected the art of presenting a brave façade to the world when inside her heart bled.

He glanced at Cordell, who gave him a nod. His twin hadn’t missed how close he and Bridie had stood together near the stables or how Ethan had then watched her.

Cordell bent to talk to Finn. “Hey, buddy, I’d love to see how much Bug has grown. Can you take me and Rhett to see him?”

“Yep.” Finn slipped his hand from Ethan’s and took hold of Cordell’s. “He’s in his kennel that Trinity and I painted.”

Ethan waited a moment while the trio walked around to where Bug’s brightly colored kennel sat at the back of the ranch house, and then headed for the kitchen door. Henry glanced at him as he passed. In his faded blue gaze Ethan glimpsed concern. Ethan wasn’t the only person keeping an eye on Bridie.

Ethan entered the kitchen and saw Trinity and Rhett’s tiny but strong-willed fiancée, Ivy, chatting as they prepared fresh salads. As he’d predicted, there was no sign of Bridie.

Trinity gave him a knowing grin. “If you’re looking for Bridie she headed down the hallway. Clara’s still in the library so I think she was going to see her again.”

“Thanks.”

But when Ethan entered the hallway he paused. Bridie wouldn’t have gone to the library. She’d not want her mother to see her upset and then worry. She also wouldn’t go to her room, she’d want to do something physical. Riding was out of the question, which only left pool. He turned left to head downstairs to the games room. At Grey’s Saloon she’d played for hours.

He pushed open the games room door and heard the unmistakable clunk of pool balls connecting. Pool cue in her hand, Bridie straightened and stared at him. Her eyes were huge and dark in her pinched face but her lips curved. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He stepped forward, took a pool cue from off the rack and chalked the end. “So this is why you didn’t need any help from Nick Ryan?”

She shook her head, bent close to the table and shot a ball into the corner pocket. “That’s right. I did tell him three times I was fine before my elbow had to do the talking.”

Ethan chuckled and took a shot. The ball scooted across the table and also disappeared down the pocket. “It worked. He listened to you then.”

“I know but he hasn’t since.”

Ethan frowned. “Since?”

Bridie chalked her pool cue. “He keeps texting me offering to show me around. He swears he knows every back trail and the best places to take photos of wildlife.”

“I bet he does. One of them would be Bobcat Hill the local make-out spot.”

Laughter briefly chased the shadows from her face. “And you know this how? I thought you lived at Colorado Springs?”

He chuckled. “I do when I’m not playing tour guide or doing crosswords. I happen to have passed some trucks one night at Bobcat Hill that had very steamy windows.”

“Well, I won’t be steaming up Nick Ryan’s truck windows at Bobcat Hill or anywhere else.” Her expression softened. “I’d rather wait out bears anytime.”

Ethan tightened his grip on the pool cue. He was a breath away from kissing her. But she’d come inside upset and the last thing she needed was him reaching for her. They’d also agreed that there would be no more kissing.

“Hopefully when you’re back in the mountains there’ll be no bears to wait out.”

Even to his own ears his reply sounded husky.

Her eyes searched his before she nodded, lowered her pool cue and took another shot.

“Are you thinking of heading back there soon?” he asked, knowing her answer even before she spoke.

“I wasn’t. But I am ... now.”

He silenced his offer to go with her. She’d made it clear when she’d first visited Henry she needed time in the backcountry by herself. Despite drawing closer during their days away, it wasn’t his place to intrude on her grief. No matter how much he cared for her or how desperate he was to ease her pain.

He chalked his pool cue even though it didn’t need any extra powder. “When will you go?”

“I promised to take Finn to Marietta again tomorrow so it won’t be until Sunday morning.”

“I know you can take care of yourself but be careful up there. Cordell found three elk carcasses at the back of Beargrass Hills that had been left to rot. The poachers are still around.” He risked a glance at her. Her independent spirit wouldn’t have appreciated his advice. But instead of a frown, she watched him, gaze indefinable.

He spoke again. “Rocket loves the high country so why don’t you take him with you? Henry wouldn’t mind.”

“That’s an idea. But ... can he cook apple crisps on the campfire? Can he make me smile when all I feel like doing is crying?” She stopped. The pale skin of her throat rippled as she swallowed. “Ethan would you ... could you ... come with me?”

He hesitated.
Yes
had already formed on his tongue but his conscience held him quiet. He’d missed her so much, even just an hour’s ride with her would ease the ache in his heart. But more days away together, let alone nights, was only asking for trouble. Even if Bridie had said he wasn’t a complication he couldn’t risk anything further happening between them. She needed to say good-bye to her father not dive head first into a fling.

As the silence grew, she watched him, gaze steady but guarded.

He rubbed at his jaw. “Are you sure? I’d like nothing better but it has to really be what you want. Rocket will make any poacher think twice about approaching you, so you’d be safe. With him, you’d also be able to ... let go ... in private.”

Her chin angled. “I’m sure.”

“Okay then.” Caution still slowed his words. “There might be a problem though of when we can go. I can leave Sunday, but Monday I have to take Henry to Bozeman for business appointments. So if you wanted to be away longer than a day we couldn’t leave until Tuesday and that might be too late.”

She didn’t hesitate. “Let’s go for the day Sunday. I need to go ... soon.”

“Okay. Sunday it is.” He replaced his pool cue as though they’d agreed to something as simple and casual as having a coffee at the Java Café. He pushed aside his tension. They’d spend the day on horseback, not lying yards apart around an intimate campfire. Nothing would happen between them.

“Thanks.”

Bridie too replaced her pool cue. She tucked the hair brushing her cheek behind her ear. The action dislodged the white flower she wore and it fell to the floor.

Ethan bent to retrieve the flower and straightened to the sight of Bridie redoing her hair. The action of reaching behind her head stretched the bodice of her sundress tighter and higher. Mouth dry, he locked his jaw. He didn’t need any reminder of how feminine or gorgeous Bridie was, or how weak and human he was. His testosterone already fixated on the memory of how it felt to have her in his arms and her legs wrapped around him.

“Here you go.” He held out the flower spray, his hand not as steady as usual. For her sake he had to ensure that things remained purely platonic between them. No matter how much he wished things could be different.

She re-tucked the flower into her hair and lowered her arms. Their gazes held. Despite the blue in her dress, her eyes appeared more grey.

“Ready?”

His quiet question wasn’t just about having her flower back in place. He wanted to check she had her emotions safely stowed and was ready to return upstairs.

Her fingers looped through his and he curled his hand around their warm fragility.

“I am now.”

Her hand stayed in his until they reached the kitchen doorway. Then with a small smile she slipped her fingers free, and shoulders squared, stepped into the kitchen.

A
s lunch progressed it was as though Bridie’s heartfelt plea to accompany her into the mountains had never happened. Seated beside Finn, she made jokes with Henry, chatted to Payton about her mustang, Gypsy, and all the while ignored him. Which was just as well. While glasses clinked, cutlery rattled and laughter sounded as people enjoyed Clara’s birthday lunch, Ethan continually felt himself under observation.

Henry’s shrewd gaze flickered between him and Bridie. Cordell’s all-seeing stare rested on him far more than normal. Trinity’s green eyes missed nothing, even when Ethan passed Bridie a full water pitcher when he’d noticed her empty glass. The cutting of Clara’s cake couldn’t come fast enough.

When the cake had been cut and coffee mugs replaced wine glasses and beer bottles, Bridie slipped into the empty seat beside him. Just for a second her leg pressed against his to say that she hadn’t forgotten about him.