His Secret Child (14 page)
Authors: Beverly Barton
Tags: #Contemporary, #Fiction, #Romance, #General, #Religious
Sheila covered the three bakery brownies that were left over from the dozen Caleb had bought. He'd made a quick trip back into town when he realized he and Danny had been too involved in conversation to remember the one thing she had asked him to provide for their backyard cookout. Twilight surrounded them there in Sheila's yard and off in the woods behind the house, the chirping crickets began their nightly tune. Caleb cleared away the stack of paper plates and cups from the picnic table and tossed them into the garbage sack Danny held open for him.
Mike Hanley draped one arm around his wife's slender shoulders and caressed her small, protruding belly. "Hey, princess. This is your old man," he said to his unborn child. "Mommy and I saw our first pictures of you today and we think you're beautiful."
Christy beamed with delight, her pregnancy obviously a joy to both her and her husband. She covered Mike's hand with her own. "Your daddy's going to spoil you rotten, you know."
"How come Uncle Mike and Aunt Christy are talking to their baby while she's still in Christy's tummy?" Danny asked. "She can't hear them, can she?"
"I don't know," Sheila replied. "But I think she can. I used to talk to you before you were born."
"Ah, jeez, Mom." Danny glanced at Caleb, checking his reaction to Sheila's comment. "What's Caleb going to think?"
"I think you're a lucky guy," Caleb said, smiling at Sheila and then focusing on Danny. "You had a mom who loved you and wanted you even before you were born."
"Did you talk to me about baseball?" Danny asked.
The four adults laughed, but Caleb saw Sheila and Mike exchange an odd look.
"Sure, I did," Sheila said. "I talked to you about all sorts of things, including baseball." When Daniel hadn't been around, she had talked to Danny about Caleb. No matter how hard she tried, she could never think of Daniel as Danny's real father. In her heart of hearts, Caleb had always been and would always be Danny's dad.
Caleb watched the loving exchange between Mike and his wife, the tenderness with which Mike touched her, the love that shone so vividly in their eyes. A twinge of something unidentifiable shuddered through Caleb. Instinctively he glanced over at Sheila. She smiled at him. Warm. Welcoming. Loving. She pulled Danny back against her and wrapped her arms around him. He leaned into her, resting his head on her chest. The same twinge hit Caleb again, but this time he recognized the emotion for what it was. Jealousy. He envied Mike and Christy their happiness. He envied Daniel Vance for having possessed this remarkable woman—for having fathered her son.
This could be mine,
he told himself.
Sheila could be my wife. Danny could be my son. All I have to do is reach out and bring them into my life.
Do you have the guts to take that kind of chance? To risk everything in the hopes of finding permanent happiness?
"Hey, Uncle Mike, did you know Caleb's going to open a baseball-card shop in town?" Danny pulled away from his mother.
"Yeah, so your mom said."
"Y'all want to go through my whole collection with me?" Danny asked, glancing first at Caleb, then at his uncle.
"I sure would," Caleb said.
"I think this is our cue to clean up out here and then go out to the storage shed and take a look at Danny's baby bed," Sheila said. "It was Mike's and mine when we were babies."
"I love the idea of our little girl sleeping in her daddy's baby bed," Christy said as she picked up the leftover food items from the picnic table.
"Let's go to my room." Danny motioned to his uncle and Caleb.
"You go ahead," Mike told his nephew. "Caleb and I will be along in a few minutes. I need to talk to him about the Firebird we're keeping down at the garage for him."
"Okay, but don't be long," Danny said. "I'll lay everything out on my bed."
Mike waited until Sheila and Christy went into the house, then nodded toward the quiet road in front of Sheila's house. "Let's walk off some of that supper."
Caleb fell into step beside Mike and the two men walked a good ways before Mike spoke again.
"I'm fixing to butt into my sister's business," Mike said. "I love her and Danny a great deal and I don't want to see either of them get hurt. I figure that gives me a right to issue you a warning."
"Yeah, I suppose it does," Caleb agreed. "Go right ahead."
Mike slowed to a standstill, turned and faced Caleb, who looked him square in the eye.
"You've got to know that Sheila's in love with you," Mike said. "She always has been. She's not the kind of woman who has affairs. You and Dan Vance have been the only two men in her life."
"I know that I hurt Sheila twelve years ago when I left town and didn't ever get in touch with her again. She and I have talked about it, and I think she's forgiven me."
Mike huffed loudly. "Hell, man, that's just the problem. She'd forgive you for anything. Don't you see, she's opened herself up to you again? She's more in love with you now than ever. And she's risking her future happiness and Danny's on the chance that you'll come through for her this time. What I want to know is, are you a sure thing or a bad risk? So help me, God, if you hurt her, I'll—"
"I'm not a sure thing," Caleb admitted. "But maybe I'm not such a bad risk, either. I care about Sheila. I've never felt about another woman the way I do her. And I've been totally honest with her."
"She survived your walking out on her once before— just barely. Thanks to Dan Vance." Mike slapped his fist into the palm of his other hand. "What if you knew for sure that some guy was going to break Tallie's heart? What would you do?"
"I'd probably break his damn neck first," Caleb said. "Believe me, Mike, I understand how you feel. And I don't blame you for warning me not to hurt Sheila. That's the last thing I want to do."
"You could have stayed away."
"I could have." Caleb took a few steps, then Mike followed.
"Maybe I'm a selfish bastard, but I like what I've found with Sheila and I'm not willing to give that up."
"Not yet," Mike said. "Not until the new wears off. Not until you've worked her out of your system."
"You really don't think much of me, do you?"
"Prove to me that I'm wrong." Mike turned and headed back toward his sister's house.
Increasing his pace, Caleb went in the opposite direction. Everything Mike had said to him was true. All of his doubts were reasonable. Caleb's track record with women was dismal. Not once in his self-centered life had he ever put someone else's needs before his own. Was he doing that again? Asking Sheila to compromise her values, to accept their relationship on his terms, to risk her future and Danny's on a man who didn't know how to make a personal commitment?
Sheila loaded the washing machine, added detergent and fabric softener, then set the timer. Just as she closed the lid, Caleb walked into the kitchen.
"Is he asleep?" she asked.
"Finally," Caleb said.
"He was too excited to settle down, I guess. The thought of helping you at your card shop has him beside himself. It's hours past his bedtime. He'll probably fall asleep at school tomorrow."
"So, do you think I'm being a bad influence on him?" Caleb came over, took the wicker laundry basket out of her hands and set it on top of the dryer.
"No. Not really. You're just not accustomed to following rules and regulations set up for an eleven-year-old. Boys Danny's age need consistency in their lives."
When Sheila turned to go to the back porch, Caleb wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back up against his chest. "Mike
talked
to me tonight when we took our walk."
"I figured that was what was going on." She snuggled into Caleb when he leaned his head over to rub his cheek against hers.
"Your big brother issued me a warning."
A shudder racked Sheila's body. "What did he say?" Mike wouldn't have said anything to Caleb about Danny's paternity. She trusted her brother. He understood that if and when the time came to tell Caleb that he was Danny's father, she would be the one to tell him.
"Mike's concerned that I'm going to hurt you, that I'm using you because I'm bored, and that when I get tired of you, I'll walk out on you again."
Sheila pivoted in his arms, turning quickly to face Caleb. "Mike had no right to say those things to you."
"Honey, Mike has every right," Caleb said. "If Tallie were getting involved with a guy like me, I'd issue him a few warnings."
"You would?"
"Damn right, I would! I'd tell him that if he broke my little sister's heart I'd rip him from limb to limb." Caleb caressed her cheek. "Don't let me break your heart. Don't let me—"
Her kiss silenced him. She didn't want to think about the possibility that she could lose Caleb again. That once the year ended, he'd leave town—leave her. She wanted to enjoy the moment—enjoy the days and weeks they could share. Surely, if there was any justice in this world, Caleb would discover that his place was here with Danny and her. Surely, he couldn't walk away and never look back—not this time. Not after all they'd shared.
Deepening the kiss, he ran his hands over her body, familiarizing himself with the feel of her breasts and her hips. She clung to him, responding eagerly, her mouth hot and wet, her fingers biting into his muscular shoulders.
And then suddenly, she shoved him away. Her breathing ragged, her face flushed, she shook her head.
"We can't."
"Why can't we?" he asked, moving toward her.
"Danny," she told him. "We can't mess around here in the kitchen. Danny could wake up and—"
Caleb pressed his index finger over her lips. "Danny is out for the night, honey. But if you don't want to take a chance, then come with me."
She resisted at first, but when he grabbed her hand and led her out onto the dark back porch, she gave herself over to him. He backed her into a pitch-black corner, a nearby oak tree blocking out the moonlight. She could see only his outline, tall, broad-shouldered and closing in on her fast. Lowering his head, he drew the tip of one breast into his mouth and sucked her greedily through the thin layer of cotton dress and bra. She quivered from head to toe. He slid his hand under her dress, lifting it, and then ran his palm up her thigh to the apex between her legs. He covered her mound with his hand and conquered her mouth with his marauding lips.
She moaned his name into his mouth when he slipped his fingers inside her panties. He eased the cotton underwear down over her hips. When they fell to her ankles, she stepped out of them. He unzipped his pants, freed his sex and bent his knees just enough to seek the entrance to her body.
Standing on tiptoe, Sheila spread her legs and braced her back against the porch column. Caleb thrust up and into her, taking her completely. She bit her lip trying not to scream with the pleasure of having him buried deep inside her. He was so big. So hard. So hot. And he filled her completely. Being possessed by Caleb was like nothing she had ever experienced. For this kind of happiness, she was willing to take a chance that it might not last forever. But her heart told her that what she felt, Caleb felt. That it couldn't be this incredible for her and not be just as perfect for him.
He slowed the rhythm, stimulating her core with each deliberate stroke of his sex. He brought her closer and closer to fulfillment as he made passionate love to her there in the dark, with only the pale moon and the twinkling stars as witnesses.
They came together in a hot, wild frenzy. Kissing. Clinging. Skyrockets of release exploding inside them. And later, much later, when they had regained their composure, Caleb zipped his slacks and picked up her panties.
"I don't suppose you'd let me move in here with you, would you?" He whispered the question in the darkness, his big hands moving caressingly up and down her arms.
"Oh, Caleb. I can't let you move in with me."
"Because of Danny?"
"This is a small town. People will talk. I don't want Danny to be ashamed because of what folks are saying about his mother."
"Then I guess we're going to have to be inventive," Caleb said. "Because I'm planning on making love to you at least once every day."
Ten
"Come on in," Susan greeted Sheila, then stepped aside to allow her friend entrance into her home. "Lunch is ready. I stopped by Pete's and picked up loaded potatoes and lemon icebox pie."
Sheila entered the homey living room, filled with a mixture of antiques Susan had inherited from her aunt and a collection of nice reproductions. "Since our talk is going to be super-serious, I suppose treating ourselves to lemon icebox pie is appropriate. You know those calories go straight to our hips."
Susan smiled weakly. "I've fixed the kitchen table for us." She led the way down the hall and into her large, warm, comfortable kitchen. "I can't believe how nervous I am just at the idea of talking to you about it."
"Is everything ready for lunch or do you want me to do anything?" Sheila asked.
"No, everything's done. Just sit. I've made fresh coffee and … Can you believe this? You and I are both going to have to make the biggest decisions of our lives sitting here at my kitchen table."
Sheila reached out and took Susan's hands in hers. "Listen, old friend, we're going to be all right. Both of us. I already know what I have to do and I think you do, too. It's just a matter of getting some reinforcement, some support from each other. Right?"
"Yes. Maybe. I don't know. It's what Lowell wants, but I'm not sure I can actually go through with it. If he knew how I felt about—" Susan turned around, clasped her trembling hands together and took a deep breath. Then, with her hands steadier, she poured two cups of coffee and set them on the gingham placemats on the round oak table.
Sheila sat in the oak carved-back chair. "I just love Pete's loaded potatoes. All that butter and sour cream and cheese and bacon bits."
Susan sat across from Sheila. "So, who's going to go first, you or me?"
"We could eat and then—"
"You go first. Please."
Sheila hated seeing Susan—highly organized, strong-willed and always-determined Susan—coming apart at the seams this way. It was so unlike her friend to let anything get the best of her. Probably the result of having been raised by a no-nonsense, old-maid aunt, Sheila surmised.
Susan's dilemma made Sheila conscious of the fact that everyone had problems, many seemingly insurmountable. But all problems had resolutions, if not solutions. The decisions they made today would affect the rest of their lives and the lives of their children.
"Okay, I'll go first," Sheila said. "I've made my decision, now all I have to do is work up the courage to follow through and face Caleb with the truth."
"I think you may be worrying about nothing," Susan said. "After all, look how crazy Caleb is about Danny. In the past few months they've become inseparable. They're already like a father and son."
"I know. I know. And that's one of the reasons I can't go on lying to Caleb or to Danny." Sheila lifted her fork and jabbed the potato, mixing the toppings together with the hot vegetable beneath. "Over the summer, the three of us have become a family. The only way we could be closer was if Caleb actually lived in the house with us."
"He seems happy with his life here in Crooked Oak, doesn't he? I mean, you think he's going to ask you to marry him, don't you?" Susan sprinkled salt over her potato.
"I think he's considering it." Caleb had come very close, more than once, in the past few weeks to discussing marriage. With each day, each week, each month they spent together, she fell deeper and deeper in love with him, and even though he hadn't professed his love for her, she knew how much he cared. He showed her with his actions. Each kiss, each touch, each passionate encounter. And with each kind, considerate act he performed for her and for Danny. The selfish boy she remembered was gone—replaced by a caring, giving man, who worked hard at pleasing her.
I
want to make you as happy as you make me,
he'd told her recently.
"What are you so worried about?" Susan asked. "Do you honestly think Caleb won't be delighted that Danny is his son?"
"No, I think he'll be thrilled that Danny is his. But I also think he's going to hate me for lying to him, for keeping Danny's paternity a secret." Sheila rubbed the tips of her fingers over the smooth tabletop. "I'm afraid of what Caleb might do, of how the truth will affect our relationship. And Danny! How's this going to affect him? He loved Daniel. How will he react to finding out that Caleb is his real father?"
"You could always keep the truth to yourself and let Danny and Caleb just be friends and maybe even stepfather and stepson. You'll be taking a major risk with all your futures by telling them the truth."
Sheila sighed. "It was all so simple before Caleb came back to Crooked Oak. I thought he and Danny would never meet. I made sure Danny wasn't at Mr. Bishop's funeral and I kept him and Caleb apart at Tallie's wedding. But now, things are different. Caleb is a big part of our lives and if … if he doesn't ask me to marry him—"
"He can't blame you for not telling him." Susan lifted her cup and sipped on the hot coffee. "You married Dan and kept Danny's paternity a secret to protect Caleb—to give him his big chance at playing college baseball. He should thank you for making such an enormous sacrifice for him. If you'd told him about your pregnancy and he'd married you, then he'd have had to drop out of college, to find a job and support you and your baby. He'd never have become Mr. Superstar."
"I hope he sees it that way," Sheila said. "After I tell Caleb, I want us to tell Danny together."
"When are you going to tell Caleb?"
"This afternoon. I've asked him to come to my office at the garage." Sheila patted her curled fingers against her puckered lips as she huffed loudly. "I want Mike close by, just in case."
"Just in case of what?"
"In case I fall to pieces. In case Caleb decides to kill me. In case I try to chicken out at the last minute."
"Will you call me and let me know how things go?" Susan reached across the table, offering her hand to Sheila.
Sheila grabbed Susan's hand and squeezed tightly, then let go. "I promise that I'll call. Say a prayer for me. Okay?"
"I'll pray for you and you pray for me."
"That's a deal."
"Let's eat lunch before … I—I need some nourishment before I spill my guts."
They ate in relative silence, both women picking at their food, until Susan placed the pie in front of them. They devoured the rich, sweet, lemony dessert.
"It's your turn," Sheila said. "Remember that confession is good for the soul."
"Oh, God, I do feel like this is a confession!"
"No one else is ever going to know," Sheila said. "Just you and Lowell, the doctors and me. And God, of course."
"Hank will know."
"Hank may not agree to do it. He may turn Lowell down."
"What if he doesn't? What if Lowell can't convince him to … to donate his sperm and … We could adopt. I told Lowell that I don't mind waiting a few years and I don't mind adopting an older child. But he insists this way is better. This way the child will be ours. At least mine. And we'll get to share in the pregnancy and the birth and …"
"How would you feel about artificial insemination if Lowell agreed to an anonymous donor?"
"I'm not sure, but I don't think I'd have as many doubts." Susan stood and hurriedly cleared the table. "But Lowell doesn't want to use an anonymous donor. Ever since the doctors told us that Lowell is sterile, we've tried everything to correct the problem. They don't think there's any hope. Once he accepted the fact that he couldn't ever get me pregnant, the only alternative he's even considered is asking Hank Bishop to donate his sperm for an artificial insemination."
"What makes him think Hank would agree to such a plan?"
"Lowell says that he and Hank would do anything for each other, that if it were the other way around, he'd do it for Hank."
Sheila helped Susan load the dishwasher. She placed her hand on her friend's shoulder. "It's rather ironic, isn't it? If you agree, and then Hank agrees to Lowell's plan, your child will belong to the man you've always secretly loved."
Susan jerked away from Sheila. Tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm not secretly in love with Hank Bishop! Besides, the child would belong to Lowell. Not Hank. I could never allow myself to think of the baby as Hank's. It would be so unfair to Lowell."
"You know how I felt about your marrying Lowell, but I tried not to interfere. After all, I married a man I didn't love for my own selfish reasons, so how could I try to talk you out of marrying Hank's best friend?"
"No one could have talked me out of marrying Lowell," Susan said. "I was past thirty and ready to get married and start a family. I had a teenage crush on Hank Bishop and that's all there was to it. He never even knew I existed. Oh, maybe he noticed me once or twice when I was with you and Tallie, but that was it. I bet he doesn't even remember my name, and he thinks of me only as Lowell's wife."
"So, what are you going to do?" Sheila asked.
"I'm going to make my husband happy," Susan said. "I owe Lowell so much. He's such a dear, kind man and—"
"And you feel guilty because you aren't madly in love with him, when it's so obvious to everyone that he's crazy about you."
"You know me too well."
"If you do this, can you live with the consequences? I know what it's like to look at a child every day and see his father in him. I know the heartache of keeping the truth a secret."
"It's what Lowell wants."
"But is it what you want?"
"Yes. Heaven help me, yes, it's what I want!"
Sheila wrapped her arms around Susan and held her while she cried.