His to Possess (26 page)

“What do you mean?”

He drew away from her warm, inviting body. “I can’t do this because I know there’s
no future for us. I was wrong. We aren’t meant to be together.”

“Because I like to be dominated?”

“That’s part of it. Dane can give you what you want in that department, but I can’t.”

“Rafe, that doesn’t matter.” She tried to touch him again but he stepped out of reach.

“It
does
matter. I can’t allow myself to open that door. My dad was an abuser and…” He shrugged.
“I can’t go down that path. Dane has a lot of control, but I … I don’t trust what
might happen.”

She shook her head. “No. You would never go too far.”

“Do you think my father logically thought, ‘Ah, I’m going to beat my son today’? Or
do you think he just lost control and did it?” He stepped toward her and her eyes
widened. With anger fuming through him, she must feel intimidated. “Like I did last
night.”

“No, you had just—”

“Had a drink? My father was often drunk when he beat me.”

“I think your father was a monster and I know you
aren’t
. You would never really hurt me.”

He compressed his lips. “Well, that’s where you’re wrong. Because what I’m about to
do will probably hurt quite a bit.”

She gazed at him in shock.

“Because right now I’m telling you that we’re through. I realized that I’m not really
in love with you.” He paced across the room. “I haven’t had a lot of affection or
love in my life, and when you showed me so much love,”—he shrugged—“I cherished it.
Then when I lost it, I realized I couldn’t bear my life without it.” He patted his
chest. “It filled a hole deep in here. But I realize, now, that it wasn’t love. Let’s
face it. Neither of us really knew each other. You only knew a small part of who I
am. And I had no idea that you liked to be dominated in the bedroom. And don’t tell
me it’s not important to you because I know it is. But it makes us … incompatible.”
He sighed. “I don’t want to hurt you. But just like last time, if I don’t take action
now, it’ll only hurt more when we finally both discover that we’re just not right
for each other.”

He took her hand, his heart aching at the tears swelling in her eyes. “Besides, I
know that you love Dane.”

Anger flashed in her eyes, and she tugged her hand free. “No, I don’t.” She glared
at him. “If you want to break up with me, at least be man enough to do it without
trying to look like you’re doing me a favor. You don’t love me. I get it.”

She turned and strode toward the entrance.

“Jess, wait.”

But she disappeared out the door. Damn, that hadn’t gone well.

*   *   *

Jessica marched through the lobby and the doorman pulled open the door for her.

“Ms. Long,” he said as she exited the building, “Mr. Ranier called down and asked
me to arrange a ride for you. His limo is waiting just over there.”

She glanced to where he pointed to see the familiar long, black car. It had only taken
her five minutes to get down here. Did this guy just drive around waiting for one
of the Ranier brothers to call?

The driver opened the door for her and she hesitated only a moment before she got
in.

“I’m heading home,” she said.

He knew the address. She settled into the comfortable seat as the car moved into traffic,
then her tears started to flow. She’d been rejected by two men today. Both of whom
had proclaimed their love in the past. And she had no job. Her closest friend had
shut her out. Her whole life was crumbling around her.

When they arrived at her apartment, the driver opened her door, then hurried ahead
of her and opened the door to the building.

“Thank you,” she said, aware of her tearstained cheeks.

He nodded. “Of course, Ms. Long.”

The compassion in his warm smile boosted her spirits a little and she walked to the
elevator. She sucked in a breath as she rode upstairs, trying to regain her composure.
Melanie had been fired today and now was the time to focus on getting her friend to
open up so she could help her, not wallowing in her own problems.

She opened the door to their apartment, not sure what to expect on the other side.
Certainly not what she saw. Melanie sat on the couch with nail polishes laid out on
the table in front of her, mostly in bright, fluorescent colors. She had her nails
partially painted with three vertical stripes of different colors and she was currently
using a striping brush to add a vivid orange stripe to each nail.

“Just Give Me a Reason” by Pink was playing in the background. The phrase “nothing
is as bad as it seems” echoed through their cozy little apartment and boosted her
spirits the slightest bit.

Melanie glanced up. “Oh, hi. You’re home early.”

Jessica did not want to explain that she’d quit. Not yet.

“I wanted to check on you.”

On the end table beside Melanie was a tall glass of cola and an open box.

“Donuts, Melanie?”

Melanie grabbed one and waved it at Jessica. “Don’t judge me.”

“Judge you?” She walked toward the box and grabbed one of the chocolate glazed donuts.
“I want to join you.”

Melanie laughed and set the donut on the table, then continued painting the stripes
on her nails. Jessica took a bite of her donut and enjoyed the rich burst of chocolate
flavor. Then she hummed along to the song, something about not being broken, just
bent, and learning to love again. It spoke to her current situation perfectly.

“That’s some manicure you’ve got going there,” Jessica said as Melanie added a startling
yellow stripe to her nails.

Melanie grinned. “It’s not finished yet.” Then she picked up a bottle of black polish
and rolled it between her hands. Melanie had once told her that shaking a polish could
introduce bubbles, so it was better to roll it like that. “Now I’m going to put a
black crackle on top. I think it’ll look quite dramatic.” She nodded toward the bottles.
“Grab some polish and do yours, too.”

“Nope.” Jessica settled back, donut in hand. “I’m just going to relax.”

Melanie had applied the black polish to four nails so far and faint cracks were already
appearing on some of them.

“So, Melanie, what happened this morning? Why did Dane fire you?”

Melanie inspected the hand she’d just finished and then started on the other one.

“I mean, I know he has no grounds on which to fire you,” Jessica continued, “so we
must be able to fight it.”

Melanie frowned and for the first time, Jessica wondered if she was wrong. Had Melanie
done something? Everyone made mistakes sometimes, but Jessica couldn’t possibly figure
out what Melanie could have done to deserve firing.

“I don’t want to fight it.”

“I know it would be awkward coming back to work for Dane,” Jessica said, “but Ranier
Industries is a big company. I’m sure they could find something else for you so you
wouldn’t have to work for him directly.”

Melanie sighed and put a last swipe of polish on her nails, then put the cap back
on the polish bottle.

“Dane already suggested that. I said no.”

“What? I don’t understand.”

Melanie settled back on the couch. “This morning, I went into Dane’s office to quit.”

“Why did you want to quit?” As soon as she’d asked the question, Jessica wished she
could take it back. It had to be because of the relationship between Rafe and Jessica.

Melanie frowned. “You know I don’t begrudge you the fact that you and Rafe fell in
love, but…”—she glanced down at her hands—“it’s hard to watch. I’m happy for you and
all, and when you get married, I still want to be your friend, but…” She gazed Jessica’s
way again. “I guess I always held hope that Rafe would eventually notice me and that
we could somehow get past the whole boss-secretary thing and … I don’t know … maybe
my dream would come true. But I know now that it will never happen, and I don’t want
to hang around and watch that dream being torn away from me.”

Jessica placed her hand over her heart. “I’m so sorry, Melanie. I knew—”

“
Please
don’t be.” Melanie smiled. “I didn’t say it was logical, and I don’t blame you for
any of this. In fact, I didn’t even realize I was harboring such insane feelings,
but when I saw that you had won Rafe’s heart and I didn’t stand a chance, I realized
I’d been letting that subconscious hope stop me from moving on with my life.”

“How did that all translate to Dane firing you?”

“It turns out he already knew I had feelings for Rafe. Did you tell him?”

“No, I would never do that.”

Melanie nodded. “Anyway, we both knew that no matter what I told Rafe about why I
was leaving, he’d do everything he could to talk me into staying. He’d probably better
any offer I might have received elsewhere and I’d find myself in an awkward position.
Dane suggested that he’d just tell Rafe he laid me off. I wasn’t comfortable with
that, because you know that would cause huge problems between them, but … damn it,
I was upset and things were complicated, and so Dane told me not to worry about it
and to just go home and we’d figure it out. But I know I can’t let him do that. It
would cause too many problems. I’ll just have to figure something else out.”

Jessica bit her lip. “It’s too late.”

Melanie stared at her. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve already told Rafe. I confronted Dane right after you left and asked if he fired
you, and he said he did. I then went over to Rafe’s, hoping he could get your job
back.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, no. I’ll have to call and talk to him. Straighten this out.
But what do I say?”

Jessica shook her head. “No, it’s not your fault this all blew up. I’ll talk to Rafe
about this. I think I can fix it.” She gazed at her friend. “I need to ask, though.
If Rafe and I weren’t involved, would it make a difference?”

“No. I’d just wind up back where I was before, wishing for something I can’t have.
I really need to move forward.”

Jessica nodded. She stood up, and headed toward the door, but then hesitated and turned
around again. “Melanie, I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m sorry I caused you
all this heartache. And even though it won’t make a difference, I just want you to
know that Rafe broke up with me.”

Melanie’s jaw dropped open. “Really? But he was so in love with you. Did it have anything
to do with the threesome?”

Jessica’s cheeks flushed. “You knew about that?”

“I wasn’t supposed to, but Rafe’s door was open when he and Mr. Ranier were talking
yesterday afternoon and I heard just enough to get a gist of what they were planning.
I also got the idea that you and Mr. Ranier do some dominance stuff.” She smiled.
“You know, sometimes I really wish I were you. Two hot guys ordering you to do unspeakably
sexy things. I wish.”

“Yeah, but Rafe didn’t like the dominance and punishment. He’s really uncomfortable
with it.”

Melanie nodded. “So is that why he broke it off?”

“That was part of it, but he also realized that he was never actually in love with
me. I think he just wanted to be in love with someone, and I was there when he needed
someone most. I also think he’s a little lost right now and needs to figure himself
out before he can really connect with someone else.”

“I’m sorry, Jessica. I know it must hurt. But at least now you can focus on your relationship
with Mr. Ranier. Maybe it will develop into something deeper.”

Jessica shook her head. “Afraid not. Dane broke it off with me, too.”

“Oh, my God, girl. Your day has been even worse than mine. Get over here. We’re doing
your nails.”

*   *   *

Jessica stood in front of Rafe’s apartment door for the second time today, her stomach
fluttering. He opened the door, then tipped his head and smiled, showing his straight
white teeth in a beaming smile. The one that always managed to melt her heart.

“I see you’ve decided to forgive me after all.” He stood there looking exceptionally
masculine, in his jeans, his chest bare and his hair damp. Whether he’d been for a
swim or a late morning shower she didn’t know.

She followed him into the living room and sat down.

“I’m glad you came back. I didn’t want to leave things the way they were.” He patted
the moth tattoo on his shoulder. “I want you to understand that this still means something.
I will always be there for you. I know you’re mad at Dane right now, and frankly,
so am I, but I’ll sort this mess out with Melanie.”

“I’m not mad at him.”

His eyebrows arched. “You aren’t? What changed?”

“I had a long talk with Melanie. It turns out Dane didn’t fire her after all. Not
exactly.”

His brows furrowed. “What do you mean not exactly?”

She leaned forward. “Okay, I need you to listen to what I say and just accept it.
No questions asked. You trust me, right?”

“Of course, I trust you.”

“Then can you do that?”

He stared at her for a moment, then nodded. “Shoot.”

“Melanie quit.”

“Why would she—?”

“No questions, remember? And I mean don’t go asking Melanie, either. Or Dane. Got
it?”

“Sure, but why?”

“That’s a question.” At his pursed lips, she continued, “But I’ll answer it. Because
Melanie doesn’t want you to ask her. That’s what this is all about. She wanted to
leave, but didn’t want to have to face you and the fact you’d try to talk her into
staying. She went to Dane and he said he’d take the hit and tell you he fired her.”

“All this because Melanie wants to leave and she doesn’t want me to know why?”

“Just respect her privacy, okay?”

He frowned. “I thought Melanie was happy working for me. Did I do something or say
something to upset her?”

“See, you’re still asking questions.” But she smiled and leaned forward. “But I will
tell you she loved working for you. Just accept that it’s time for her to move on.”

He sat back and sighed. “Okay. I’ll miss her though.” He glanced toward her. “So what
about you? Is it time for you to move on? Or can I talk you into staying?”