His Wife for a While (5 page)

"Twenty-eight," she corrected him. "Nevertheless, you're still a young woman," he said. "You'll be meeting a man before too long. You'll fall in love. You'll want to marry him and have his children. Why are you…"

"It's not necessary that you understand," she interrupted, erasing all emotion from her voice. Explaining herself to him was the last thing she wanted to do. She found the very idea utterly mortifying. "All you need to know is that I won't be getting married. I won't be having anyone else's children. Trust me on that."

Ben looked taken aback by the cool formality of her words. But she didn't have it in her to worry about how he might or might not feel, or what he might be thinking of her. She had to keep her eye on the prize. That's all that mattered.

"I do believe you," he said, seemingly caught in a moment of involuntary candor. Then he quietly added, "I don't believe there's a man alive who could melt your icy heart."

Her chin tipped upward, her mouth tightened, and she fought the urge to lash out at him. His opinion of her cut, bone deep, but she refused to let him see that.

"You're absolutely right," she told him. "Now, do we have a deal or not?"

Ben's fingers dug into the soft leather of the chair's back. "It doesn't look as though I have a choice."

~  ~  ~

Chelsea
let herself into the nature center and headed toward the back room where the caged animals were housed. The building had once been a large, rambling barn that had been converted into several spacious rooms used to inform the public about the area's wildlife and environment.

She stopped at the first metal cage she came to. "Hello there," she said, her tone quiet, calming.

The shy squirrel skittered behind the tree limb, its tiny nose wiggling furiously as it sniffed the air. The animal had been brought in three days ago. Mauled by a dog, there wasn't much left of the squirrel's bushy tail, but its hind leg looked as though it was mending well. Soon, it would be taken into the woods surrounding the center and released.

Moving slowly so as not to frighten the animal,
Chelsea
removed the glass water bottle from the side of the cage. She pulled out the rubber stopper, refilled it at the sink and recapped it. She hung the bottle of fresh water back on the cage, so the metal tube was sticking through the bars where the squirrel could reach it.

She unlatched the door to the cage and filled the small plastic feeding dish with a scoop of animal feed, a mixture of nutritious bits mixed with nuts and dried berries.

Chelsea
had discovered the center several years ago. She'd found walking the nature paths to be peaceful; the fresh air and tranquility of the woods had quickly become an addiction for her.

Offering a few hours of volunteer work at the center had been a natural progression. At first she'd picked up litter from the grounds or swept the floor of the center on weekends. Slowly, she'd gained the trust of the nature center's manager, and eventually
Chelsea
worked her way up to caring for the wounded animals that were invariably brought to the center wrapped in towels or dropped off outside the door in shoe boxes.

Most of the animals cared for at the shelter were unfortunate victims of fast-moving traffic. Then there were critters, like the squirrel, that had gotten themselves into some other kind of trouble. The actual medical care was performed by a veterinarian who donated his time on an "as needed" basis.

The hours she spent volunteering at the center were a joy for
Chelsea
. The animals she tended helped fill the emotional void inside her. The helpless creatures she fed and watered gave her an outlet for the love, kindness and caring she guarded so fiercely when it came to humans.

It was safe for her to pour all the compassion she felt into caring for the birds, chipmunks, raccoons, squirrels and other forest wildlife. It was safe because
Chelsea
knew from day one that there would come a time when each animal would be set free. She realized up front that each relationship was short-term, and that one day the animal would scamper off into the underbrush, never to be seen again.

Never to be seen again. The words brought an image to her mind. A sharp, painful image from the past.

"Mama Higgins," she whispered, her voice throaty with sudden raw emotion. Tears welled and burned behind her lids, but she dashed the back of her hand across her eyes, refusing to allow them to fall.
Chelsea
forcibly shoved the thought from her mind, inhaled deeply and cleared her throat.

But what had pulled that distant memory to the surface of her brain? She strongly suspected it was because she'd made herself vulnerable to Ben. Disclosing to him her desire to have a baby had caused a crack in the wall she'd painstakingly built around her emotions; a crack that had obviously widened enough to let out the painful memory of the woman from her past.

Don't let the memories escape, she commanded silently. Just push them down deep, and bury them there.

A beautiful blue jay perched in the next cage, its tail feathers slightly tattered. As
Chelsea
worked to install a small seed-covered suet ball in the cage, the bird never stirred, so exhausted by its earlier ordeal.

Chelsea
stroked the bird's tiny head. From the note near the cage, she learned that the jay had flown into the picture window of a house near the nature center.

"Poor thing," she crooned. "How were you to know the window was covered with a pane of glass?"

The birds were the hardest for her to part with. The center kept numerous bird feeders filled all through the year. She often wondered if any of the winged creatures that came to feed were the ones she'd previously cared for and had come to love. But she never dwelled on the thought, because she always reminded herself that she had known from the first that the animals she tended didn't belong to her. That was the rule. They would be returned to the wild as soon as they had healed.

That was the same way she must view this temporary relationship with Ben. Once they spoke the vows of marriage, she'd be his wife… for a while.

It was going to be imperative for her to be on her guard at all times. She couldn't afford to become involved with Ben on any kind of emotional level. She knew so well what would happen if she did. Heart wrenching pain. Humiliation. Unbearable sorrow. It had happened so often in her younger years. She wouldn't let it happen again. She couldn't. For if it did, she seriously doubted that she would survive.

Without thinking,
Chelsea
rubbed the flat of her palm across her taut lower abdomen. She would become Ben's wife, and she would sleep with him… no matter how difficult or embarrassing that might turn out to be. Because doing so would bring her a baby.

A baby on whom she could pour every ounce of love she felt. A baby who would love her unconditionally. A baby unable to inflict hurt. A baby she could care for and love and never, ever, ever abandon…

Chelsea
gasped and abolished the thought… a thought that came too close to completely demolishing the wall that held back her horrible memories. She shook her head.

Her emotions were in such turmoil. First, Mama Higgins had come to mind, and now she'd remembered that other woman, the hated, despicable one who had caused her such pain. It had been many long months since those memories had plagued her.

It had to be this tense situation with Ben that was causing these awful recollections. Her offer to marry him, for a price, had shaken her more than she'd first imagined.

Their drive into Elkton in order to register for a marriage license had been a trip fraught with awkwardness and emotions that she'd had to take great pains to hide.

Oh, it had all seemed superficial enough. The two of them had shared mundane conversation about the beautiful limestone carving on the facade of the old courthouse, several ducks taking flight above marsh reeds, a fat trout jumping out of the water. Ben had explained to her how the carving was supposed to have been an exact replica of the county seal, but the artist had added the fish without consulting the town's officials.

The two of them had chuckled together about how nervous the other registering couples looked. Ben had breezily commented how the two of them needn't feel the least bit nervous. But despite Ben's attempts to trivialize the motions they were going through, registering for their marriage license only seemed to emphasize the fact that he
was
nervous. Terribly nervous. And although she hadn't meant to, she'd found herself empathizing with him.

Then doubt had planted itself between his brows in a deep frown and Chelsea had begun to wonder things… what he was thinking, was he reconsidering the terms of their deal, was he going to back out at the last minute, how handsome he is…

The last thought had stunned her. Why the heck had she noticed his looks? It had nothing to do with their bargain.

Yes, she'd discovered that Ben evoked responses in her that were surprising. But that was okay, as long as she could hide those responses. As long as she showed him no emotion. As long as she didn't come to care. That would only result in her becoming vulnerable, and vulnerability was her dreaded enemy.

If she simply controlled herself, if she kept a cool reserve wrapped around her like a cloak of safety, she'd be fine. She could do this.

~  ~  ~

Ben maneuvered his truck slowly along the narrow, curving country road. Every morning he picked up his aunt and drove her to Reed's Orchard Country Store where she sold the fruits and vegetables that he grew. Every evening he drove her home.

"Why are you so quiet tonight?" May asked.

"No reason," he answered automatically. Then, he couldn't help chuckling. "Do you realize what's happened to me today?"

"Sure do." May shifted in the seat, seeming to grow two inches taller. "We're getting married."

"
I'm
getting married." He ran his fingers through his hair as he'd already done dozens of times today in his quest to figure out this curious situation he found himself in. "I can hardly believe it."

"I can hardly believe
Chelsea
offered." May cut her eyes at her nephew. "But, then again, she won't be walking away empty-handed."

"No," Ben said quietly. "She won't."

"Oooo-whee. You've not only saved the orchard, but you'll be making love to a beautiful woman."

"Aunt May." Ben's tone held a warning.

"You can't tell me you don't think she's beautiful," she said. "Those big brown doe eyes would melt any man's heart."

"I'm not in this to have my heart melted. And we are
not
going to be making love. Two people have to be in love to make love."

"That's what some fools believe." May snorted. "So you intend to use a turkey baster?"

"Aunt May!"

"What? It was a serious question! You going to do it natural like? Or are you going to go for that artificial insimulation?"

Ben groaned as he turned onto the gravel driveway that flanked May's one-story brick ranch house. "The word is 'insemination' and for your information Chelsea and I haven't discussed the details of how we're going to go about it. So will you just drop it? Please?"

May patted Ben on the arm. "Don't fret so. Everything will work out just fine. You'll see. People have been making babies since the dawn of time." Once the truck came to a halt, she got out and slammed the door. Leaning in through the passenger side window, she grinningly added, "And who knows? You might even enjoy yourself."