HisMarriageBargain (29 page)

Autumn fidgeted all the way back to the scene of her firing.
They even sat in their same chairs. She rubbed her hands on her knees and blew
out a breath. Mary folded her hands in her lap and wordlessly waited for Autumn
to speak.

Mary was the silent, strong one, but that exterior was false
at times. Autumn could see cracks, knew whatever was going on internally, she
wasn’t ready to talk about yet. Then again, Mary wasn’t big on words.

This was up to Autumn.

“I’m not asking for my job back. Things with Sammi are a
little nuts, so I don’t even think I can be dependable,” she began. “I just—I
want to apologize. I know I’m not the easiest person to work with, that I can
be thoughtless and immature. How I handle high-stress, emotional situations
isn’t the best. I run away. And I hate that it’s put a wedge in all our
friendships. I really want to get back to a place where we can be friends. I
miss you guys. I miss you.”

Mary nodded and the corners of her mouth quivered. “I miss
you too.”

Autumn bounded off the couch and pulled Mary to her feet.
She was getting a damn hug, and it looked as if Mary’s strength was waning.
They clutched each other. Moisture collected on Autumn’s lashes and Mary’s
breath came in little pants, as if she were fighting off tears.

They finally broke apart, wiping at eyes and full of smiles.

“Knock, knock.” Kellie tapped on the door, slowly swinging
it open.

“Come in.” Mary grabbed a tissue off her desk.

“Your next appointment is here,” Kellie said to Mary, her
gaze jumping between Autumn and Mary.

“Thanks.” Mary turned to Autumn. “You going to stick around
for a while?”

“I guess. I have no plans today.” Autumn shrugged.

“Okay, if not, we’ll talk later.” Mary walked across the
hall to the bathroom, no doubt to collect herself.

“Should I break out the riot gear?” Kellie leaned against
the sofa.

Autumn flopped back on the cushions. “Nah, I just wanted to
make sure we’re all okay. I didn’t like us being at odds.”

Kellie slid down to sit opposite her. “How’s it going?”

“Hey, Pandora,” Autumn yelled. “I can see you.”

Pandora edged around the door, a guilty grin on her face.
“Can you blame me?”

“Come on.” Autumn patted the couch, but Pandora opted for a
rolling office chair instead. “I might leave Sammi.”

“What?” Pandora yelped, sitting upright.

“Okay, what happened?” Kellie showed no surprise.

Autumn shrugged. “Love might not be enough.”

* * * * *

“Yeah, Mom,” Sammi replied automatically at an appropriate
lull in her monologue.

Three days.

He hadn’t seen Autumn in three whole days. Not since
Wednesday, and now the weekend was here.

Once again he picked up his phone and scrolled through the
numerous messages he’d sent her.

Where are you? Please come home.

I miss you. I’m sorry.

I screwed up. Please talk to me about it.

You can tattoo my other arm.

I’m worried. Please let me know you’re okay. Be angry
with me, just don’t shut me out.

Still no answer.

Sammi was close to tearing his hair out.

“Have some more tea. Your color doesn’t look so good.” His
mother set another dainty cup of fucking tea in front of him.

“Mom, I don’t want—”

“Go look at yourself, Sammi. Your color is off. You’re
letting this hussy get you all worked up. Good riddance to her. You’ll feel
better with some tea.” She pushed the saucer toward him.

Sammi gritted his teeth and tapped out another text.

I don’t smile without you around.

“Who are you talking to?” she persisted, finally sinking
into the chair across from him.

“No one, Mom.”

The summer heat was close to making even the
well-air-conditioned sunroom unbearable, and yet she would persist in sitting
out here.

The dizziness was back. Over the last two days he’d been in
a constant fugue a more romantic person might call the effects of a broken
heart. If only it were that. He was eating only the most basic of foods,
keeping anything down except the damn tea was an accomplishment. With his
mother noticing at last, Sammi figured it wouldn’t be long before he had to
admit, at least to her, that his condition was declining.

Sammi picked up his phone and stared at the screen. He
couldn’t text her again, not so soon. He was starting to sound as desperate as
he felt.

“Your tea. Drink it.” She nudged the cup toward him.

Sammi snatched it up, spilling a few drops over the side of
the porcelain, and downed it. The taste had changed a little, but it was still
the same disgusting, sour tea she’d always served him. He tossed the contents
back in two gulps and set it down.

“I’ll see you later, Mother.” He leaned over to kiss her
cheek.

“Where are you going? Leaving me all alone?”

“I have errands to run,” he lied.

“Bring lunch tomorrow from the deli.” She spread the
newspaper over the table and seemingly dismissed him.

Sammi made his way through the house and to his SUV, no real
purpose in mind except to escape his mother. He’d never realized how bitter she
was but it was there. It had taken Autumn’s polar opposite personality to shed
light on it, but now he saw it.

He turned the car on and turned the air conditioner to high.
Sweat poured off his brow and soaked his shirt. The drive home passed in a
blur, his heart rate increasing and his stomach churning.

Sammi stumbled into the house and headed straight to the hall
toilet. The muscles in his stomach heaved, but there was nothing except tea and
water in him. He gripped the toilet seat and sucked down deep, lemon-perfumed
breaths.

Something wasn’t right.

His whole body shook and his vision hazed in and out until
it faded completely to black.

* * * * *

Autumn accepted an iced beer from Kellie and clinked the longnecks
together.

“Cheers,” Kellie said as all five So Inked women lifted
their beverages in a toast.

“Man, this place is really looking great.” Pandora turned to
survey the living room, which a year prior had been a gutted shadow of the
house they stood in now.

“Yeah, I think Quin is almost finished, which means he’ll
start all over again. I swear he’s ripped the floor up and redone it three
times.” Kellie shook her head.

“Three? I only knew of one.” Autumn peered at the flooring,
which looked like the same wood floor from before.

“Nope.” Kellie shook her head. “When he decided to keep the
house and make the whole us living together official back in the winter, suddenly
the floor wasn’t good enough. It would be okay if he were just flipping it, but
there was no way it would be good enough for him. The one after that was the
wrong color from the sample, the one after that I nixed before it even went
down and we found this on sale for half the price.”

An invisible hand squeezed Autumn’s heart, thinking about
the house she’d shared with Sammi. They’d picked furniture out together, and
while it was more sedate than she would have liked, it was them. And now she
wasn’t part of the picture.

She’d taken the last couple of days to think their
relationship over and get some space. A month ago she’d been a different
person. Did the new, semi-responsible her want to settle for half a marriage?
Was that what she wanted?

Through the windows she could see Quin, Kellie’s boyfriend,
at his station on the grill. The back patio was full of friends, his employees
and the team of mixed martial arts fighters, drinking more beer and watching
the four grills set up to provide food enough for everyone. The house was
relatively empty except for Quin’s daughter Josie and her mother Penny, busy
coloring in the living room, and the So Inked girls.

Autumn caught sight of Brian and Quin, their heads together
and gazes trained on the window. Pandora and Kellie were each unaware of the
audience, but it was clear that in their own way each man was in love.

It was unmistakable to see it in the way Brian was never far
from Pandora, ready to come to her defense or hold her back from kicking ass.

Quin was willing to take on the world for Kellie, and
together they were a powerhouse couple, with more drive and willpower than a
team of people.

They each loved in their own way, and though they were far
from perfect, they were good guys.

Autumn’s gaze flicked over their shoulders to where Jacob
stood next to his wife, apart from everyone else, neither speaking. They even
looked awkward together. While Sammi would never stay with her out of
obligation, did she want a marriage without love?

No, she didn’t, and it was tearing her up into little tiny
bits.

“Earth to Autumn.” Pandora waved her hand in front of
Autumn’s face.

Autumn shook her head. “Sorry, spaced out for a minute.”

“Noticed.” Pandora grinned, pulled a magazine out of her
purse and spread it out on the lower kitchen counter. “Okay, now that I have
your attention, what would you guys think about being my bridesmaids?”

“What?” Carly yelped.

“Hell yes!” Autumn pumped her fist even as her heart
crumbled.

“Only catch is the dresses are pink gingham.” She pointed at
a glossy, full-page ad for a new, retro swing dress from a popular website.
“I’m thinking teal jewelry and shoes, pink dresses. What do you guys say?”
Pandora glanced between the four girls.

“Do you seriously have to ask?” Autumn blurted out.

“Of course. I’m so happy for you,” Mary said, hugging
Pandora.

“Fine, I’ll wear pink,” Kellie pretended to grumble, but her
smile won out.

Autumn wrapped her arms around Mary and Pandora, clinging to
her friends. The next few minutes were a blur of wedding details and plans
Pandora had been sitting on but hadn’t shared. Autumn cared but her insides
were growing numb.

“I’ll be right back,” she muttered and slipped away from the
group, down the hall to the bathroom, but it was locked.

She leaned against the wall and stared at the light hanging
from the ceiling. No crying. There’d been enough tears.

The bathroom door opened suddenly and Quin stood there
surveying her barely-held-together mess. When had he slipped inside?

“You okay?” he asked.

“Rough week.” She mustered a smile and sipped the beer,
hoping he’d leave her to hiding in the bathroom for a few minutes.

“Kellie said you were having some problems with your man.”
Quin leaned against the doorframe.

He was choosing now of all times to be involved? Quin was a
dude, a guy, a man’s man, and he wanted to know about her relationship issues?
Why her? Why now?

The truth was on the tip of her tongue. She was tired of
everyone believing she’d had a secret romance when everything was a lie except
her love.

“Yeah, I’m just starting to think we jumped in too fast,”
she said as honestly as she could. Story of her life, a failure to think
everything through.

“You might not want my advice, but give it time. Guys can be
stupid and slow. Sammi’s a good guy. You deserve someone who’s going to be
there for you.”

Once Jake had tried to steal her paycheck right from under
her nose, except Quin had seen the theft and called Jake on it. It had been an
embarrassing situation that played out at the bar across from the shop, but
they’d come out on the other side a little closer, she and Quin.

Autumn pushed her hair back and blew out a breath. “It’s
hard though. I love him and he doesn’t love me.”

His gaze narrowed. “Then why’d you get married?”

She shrugged. “He asked me.”

“If he asked you to marry him he must have had feelings. You
don’t get married for the hell of it.”

Except we did!
she wanted to scream.

“Kellie said Sammi came up to the shop yesterday and he was
really upset. I know she’s in your corner because you girls have been tight for
so long, but don’t make the poor guy suffer. If he didn’t love you he’d have
let you go.” He held his hands up. “That’s all I’ll say. Go ahead.”

He stepped aside and she rushed into the bathroom, shutting
the door and leaning against it.

She dug out her phone. With no charger she had to turn it on
sparingly. Did she dare?

Curiosity won out and she powered it on, holding her breath.

Had her silence chased him away?

Had she pushed him too far?

The phone vibrated and she breathed a sigh of relief.

She brought the messages up and scrolled through the new
ones, covering her mouth with her hand.

You are my sunshine.

Tears slid down her cheeks.

What was she doing?

She loved him, and even though it might not be enough, was
she willing to walk away from him like this?

Autumn slid to the ground, too confused to make an actual
decision.

The last text message was hours ago, but he’d sent her at
least fifty since she left. On top of that were missed calls and voice mails.
She hadn’t known he’d go to the shop, but it had been a possibility. Jamar had
called to tell her Sammi had been back by her apartment, but she wasn’t staying
there either.

A tiny knock on the door brought her out of her pity party.

“Just a second.” She shoved to her feet and dashed tears
from her face.

“I need to pee-pee,” a little girl’s voice said through the
door.

“I’m almost done.” Autumn hastily ran her hands through the
tap and patted her face.

She threw the door open and Josie dashed in, followed by
Kellie.

“Josie, pull your pants down first.” Kellie slid on her
knees, making a mad grab for the little girl.

Autumn vacated as fast as she could, snatching her purse
from the couch.