Hit the Wall (Blythe College) (16 page)

We held hands as we walked through the crowded room over to my teacher. She was surrounded by a circle of people, so I waited until I could get her attention. She beamed a smile at me as soon as she noticed us standing there.

“Kaylie! I am so glad you found me,” she greeted me before pulling me into her group, Jackson following behind me since I didn’t let go of him.

“This is the dancer I was just telling you about. Kaylie Rhodes.” She introduced me to several of the people with whom she had been speaking before we’d arrived. “And Kaylie, there are a couple people here who are going to want to talk to you about your plans for after graduation.”

I was blown away when a couple of the women with her nodded their heads and smiled at me before introducing themselves. “You danced beautifully tonight,” one of them said. “I’d be very interested in talking to you if you’d like to give me a call.” Then she handed me her business card.

That conversation was repeated a few times. By the time Jackson and I left, I had four business cards held tight in my hand. Four different opportunities to dance professionally and make my dream come true. I could hardly believe it. I wanted to jump up and down and do a victory dance, but that hardly seemed appropriate right here in front of everyone. Besides which, my celebration might be too soon without knowing how the rest of my night would go now that the cat was out of the bag since Jackson had been right there with me as it all happened. And he’d been very quiet through it all, just giving my hand a quick squeeze here and there.

“Kaylie!” Char screamed as she came running towards me, interrupting my line of thought. She threw her arms around me for a big hug before stepping back. “
Ohmigawd, you were amazing up there! So beautiful I could hardly believe that was you. Not that I didn’t already think you were amazing. But tonight you took it to a whole new level!”

I held up the business cards for her to see. “Yeah, well. It looks like you weren’t alone in thinking that.”

She shrieked as she grabbed the cards from my hand to look through them—something I hadn’t brought myself to do yet because I was too focused on Jackson right now.

“Holy fuck, Kaylie. This is some pretty amazing shit right here. Please tell me your aunt was here when this happened and you got to rub it in her sour face.”

“No such luck. Jackson and I had already run her off before the good news.”

Char glanced at Jackson standing next to me and back to me again. She knew damn well that I hadn’t talked to him about what might happen tonight, and she gave me a worried look before greeting him.

“Hey, Jackson. Don’t you think our girl was amazing tonight?”

“Yes, my Kaylie was fan-fucking-
tastic.”

She nodded her head, like that was exactly the answer she’d been looking for. “It looked like you two lovebirds were on
your way out when I interrupted. I take it I won’t get Kaylie back until the morning?” she asked Jackson.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s a safe bet to take.”

I was so relieved at his reply. He already knew that I might take a job dancing somewhere, but he still planned on being with me tonight. That tight feeling in my chest, the fear that I’d fucked up so badly I wasn’t going to be able to fix it, loosened slightly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I told Char as I gave her a quick hug.

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered, slipping the cards back into my hand before taking a step back.

“Love you,” I mouthed to her as we walked away.

I’d walked to the auditorium, another one of my rituals before a big performance. It was convenient tonight because it meant I could ride with Jackson without having to worry about my car. The atmosphere in his truck was tense though, and my nerves started to come back when I realized he were headed to his parents’ cabin. It wasn’t an unusual thing for us to do, but it pretty much meant that this was going to be a conversation for which he wanted us to have privacy.

When we got there and made it inside, I used one of the oversized chairs instead of the couch where Jackson sat down. He gave me a strange look before shaking his head at my choice of seats and scooting down the couch so he was closer to me.

“I think you left out some details about your showcase tonight,” he started, pausing so I could explain.

“I know, and I am so sorry. I would totally understand if you’re completely pissed at me.”

He shook his head in response. “Kaylie,” he sighed. “I’m not mad exactly. Disappointed? Yes. Worried that you felt like you couldn’t talk to me about shit like this? Yes.”

“No, Jackson! It wasn’t that I felt like I couldn’t talk to you. I know that I can and you’ll always listen. I’m not sure how to explain it though.”

He ran a hand through his hair in a frustrated gesture. “Just tell me what you’re thinking. What’s going on in that mind of yours?”

“You know how much I love to dance,” I began. He nodded his head because this was something we had discussed before. “The showcase was my best opportunity at a chance to dance professionally after school.”

“So the people your dance teacher introduced you to tonight—they could offer you a job?”

“Yes,” I sighed as I reached into my pocket to pull out their business cards. “This is huge. I had hoped that someone might possibly be interested, but this is more than I even let myself dream.”

“Where are they from?” he asked, gesturing at the cards.

I shuffled through them and was shocked at the variety. “Chicago. San Francisco. And two are from places in New York.”

“They’re all pretty far away,” he pointed out.

My heart sank at the thought that we wouldn’t be able to figure this out somehow. Dance was my dream, but Jackson had quickly become a huge part of my happiness. If keeping my dream meant losing him, I just didn’t know what I was going to do.

“Yeah, unfortunately they are. There just aren’t a whole lot of opportunities to dance around here. I swear to God, if there were I would be interested because you’re here.”

“And this is what you want to do? Go somewhere to dance?”

I thought about how to explain it so that he would understand and moved to a kneeling position at his feet as I answered. “Yes, Jackson. It really is what I want to do. It’s my dream, and if I don’t chase it now, then I will lose my chance forever. I’m just not ready to let go of it yet.”

Jackson pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me. “I think that’s what bothers me the most, Kaylie. That you would honestly think that I’d want you to give up your dream for me. You should know me better than that. I want what’s best for you. Always.”

I breathed a huge sigh of relief. “Even if it means that I have to move a thousand miles away?”

“Yes, Kaylie. Even then. But I need to know right now. Do you also want our relationship? Because I can’t do this thing alone.”

“I absolutely want you in my life,” I whispered against his lips before kissing him.

“You need to fucking learn to talk to me,” he replied after our kiss ended. “I know it’s hard. Hell, after meeting your aunt, I don’t know how the hell you ended up so sweet. And I definitely get why you learned to keep shit to yourself living with her. But if you want this thing to work between us, it’s something you need to work on with me. Especially if you’re going to move a thousand miles away to dance.”

“I know, and I swear I will do better. I don’t want to lose you, and I know that if I can’t figure out how to let you in more I might.”

“That’s all I needed to hear,” he reassured me. “I didn’t want to ruin your big night, but I needed to know that you’re in this for the long haul with me. Because I’m in it with you, Kaylie.”

“Even if it means a long-distance relationship?”

“Yes, sweetheart. Even then,” he murmured. “I already broke all my other rules. Why not this one too?”

CHAPTER 16

Jackson

It was like the flood gates had opened between us when Kaylie and I spent the whole night after her showcase talking. She finally started sharing more of what was going on inside her head with me. Thank fuck, because I’d felt like an idiot asking my girlfriend to talk to me. I was probably the only guy in the world that had to practically beg his girl to talk to him when most other guys avoided serious conversations like the plague. I couldn’t help but wonder how the hell I’d gone from being the one-night-stand guy to being so serious about Kaylie that I wanted to know everything about her.

It was pretty damn scary to think about the importance she had in my life now. My feelings for her were just so fucking intense. She had the power to crush me, and I didn’t think she even realized it. I’d waited a long time to let a girl into my life, and now that I had, I’d gone full fucking throttle straight from the gate. No pussyfooting around for me. And the plan I was currently considering sure as shit showed how much Kaylie had come to mean to me in the short time we had been together.

Kaylie had dreams that meant a lot to her. They seemed to be the last tangible thing tying her to her parents. She worked damn hard to make those dreams come true, and there was no way I could be a roadblock to them for her. I wanted her to have every fucking good thing she wanted in her life. When she’d told me about the offer the dance company in New York had made, her eyes were shining so fucking bright that it was impossible to miss how much she wanted to go. But she was still considering her other options and had talked about possibly going to Chicago because it was closer to me. She was happy about that option, but she was thrilled about the idea of going to New York.

I hated the idea that she might miss out because she was factoring me into her decision just as much as I loved that she was thinking about my place in her life while she was considering her options. So I needed to find a way for her to be able to take the New York offer without worrying about our future as a couple, and I thought I’d finally figured out just how to do it. But I needed to talk to my dad about it first because it would completely change our plans for me after graduation. I was on my way to his office to do that right now, and I was nervous as hell that he’d tell me I was fucking crazy. I just might be, but I still wanted his support anyway.

I headed straight to his office as soon as I made it to the bank. Dad’s secretary waved me in since I had called ahead.

“Hey, Dad,” I said as I walked in and spotted him sitting behind his desk, working on his computer.

He stood up to walk around his desk and gave me a quick hug. “Hey, Jackson. Your call was a nice surprise. I don’t know how long it’s been since you popped into the office to see me during the workday. Don’t you have a class or something? Or are things already winding down with graduation just around the corner?”

“I needed to talk to you and wanted to do it here, away from home, so it could be just the two of us.”

My dad cocked his head and considered me for a moment. “That sounds pretty serious. Everything okay? Anything I can do to help?”

That was so like him, offering to jump in and help me before he even knew what was going on. “Things are good, Dad. But I do need your help with something.”

He moved to the conference table and pulled a couple chairs out. “Well, come on. Sit down and let me know what you need.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat at the thought that Kaylie didn’t have this kind of support system behind her. No matter what I did or where I went, I would always have my parents’ backing. That knowledge just made my decision even easier.

“I know you’ve planned on me coming to work for you here this summer for just about forever, Dad,” I started. “I hate to disappoint you, but I want to wait before doing that.”

“What would you do instead?” he asked, waiting to pass judgment until he had more information.

“I’d like to try to get a job at one of the bigger banks in New York.”

“New York? That’s certainly a big change of plans when you’ve always talked about staying in town,” he pointed out.

“I know it is, Dad. But it will give me some valuable experience. I’ll learn a lot because I’ll have to start from the bottom without any favoritism out there. And I can bring that knowledge back with me when I return.”

“You could start at the bottom here if it’s favoritism you’re worried about,” he offered.

I took a deep breath before delivering the part of the news I figured would shock him the most. “Here’s the thing, Dad. Kaylie got an offer to dance there, and I know she wants to accept it. But she’s considering a different offer that would let her stay closer to me so it would be easier for us to see each other more often.”

“Jackson,” he sighed. “How did I know this was somehow connected to Kaylie?”

“Trust me, I know it sounds crazy that I want to move halfway across the country to be with my girlfriend, especially when we haven’t been together that long. And I don’t even know what she’s going to say about this idea because I haven’t talked to her yet. I wanted to make things right with you first.”

“Why do you think this is the right decision for you?” he asked.

“I think she could be it for me, as girly as that sounds coming from me. She has come to mean a lot to me in the time we’ve been together. We might be able to survive a long-distance relationship, but what we have between us is so new that I’m just not ready to test it that way yet.”

He nodded his head as I was explaining, as though he got what I was saying. “I understand why you might have those worries, but have you considered maybe trying it out at first instead of jumping into this decision? I’d hate to see you make a life decision out of fear.”

“Yeah, but that’s only part of why I think this is right. I also want to be there for Kaylie. This is a huge change for her, and she doesn’t have anyone else to support her except her friends. They won’t be in New York with her, but even if they were, I’d still want to be there for her. No, that’s not strong enough to explain it. I feel like I need to be there for her.”

“It means that much to you? Being able to support her from there instead of here?” he asked.

I stopped to think for a moment. This was the moment of truth. No hiding from my feelings. If I was going to get him on my side, I needed to lay it all on the line. “Yes, Dad. It means everything to me. I think she needs me there with her instead of here. And that makes it pretty damn simple for me. If Kaylie needs me, then I am going to find a way to be there for her. Because that’s what I was made to do. Make her world a better place.”

At my words, my dad’s face broke into a beaming smile. “Then that’s what you’ll do, son. All your mom and I want for you is happiness. That’s what I was trying to tell you back over Christmastime. You needed to find someone who makes everything else seem less important because they mean everything to you, like your mom does for me. If you need to go to New York for now so she can dance, then we’ll figure it out. I’ve still got some contacts there, so I’m sure we can find you a job. But you need to live your own life, son. Don’t worry about your mom and me or the bank. We’ll all be here waiting for you if or when you want to come back.”

That right there was why my dad was still my fucking hero. He was one of the strongest men I knew, but he still had no problem letting us know how important we were to him in both actions and words.

“Thanks, Dad,” I muttered, relieved that I’d managed to explain this to him in a way that he understood why I was changing my plans so drastically.

“Don’t thank me yet, Jackson. We still have to explain this to your mom,” he reminded me. “And it sounds like you need to have a serious conversation with Kaylie, too.”

I wasn’t too worried about my mom. If my dad was already on board with the plan, she’d come around eventually. But I wasn’t sure how Kaylie would take my news. I hoped she’d be excited, but it wasn’t something we’d talked about at all. She hadn’t asked me to come with her. The idea was all my own, but I wasn’t going to wait around to see if she was going to ask me to go with her, because if I waited too long, she might do something impulsive and accept the Chicago offer. It might be ballsy of me to barge into her new life, but I was going to do it anyway.