Hold Me Tight (17 page)

“And I’m supposed to believe that?” I ask, pursing my lips.

“Yeah, because what Joanie didn’t know until today is that I made two sets of copies—one for her and one for me,” my mother confesses. “Honey, I have stuff on Conrad that could send him away for a long time. It’s the kind of damning evidence there’s no coming back from. It’d be an open-and-shut case. He wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.”

“Worse than a sex scandal?” I inquire, keeping my tone light even though I’m floored by her revelation.

“A sex scandal? I’d say,” she chuckles like I’m a naïve little girl. “These Wall Street types don’t care who you go to bed with, but if you steal their money, watch out. And Conrad stole a lot of it. I think that’s why he’s always been so obsessed with his image because any whiff of misconduct and it wouldn’t take much for an investigator with some moxy to dig it all up, especially if someone started leaving a paper trail.”

“So you always planned on getting even with him?” I watch my mom get up, surprised that she had the audacity to hatch such a plan. “You just needed the opportunity.”

“I needed Joanie…in the right frame of mind,” my mom corrects me. “Conrad allowing her baby to go to jail was the last straw. She was more than willing to tell him that she hid a second set of documents in a safety deposit box. This way, Conrad will never even know that I was involved.”

“Wait…where are you going?” I ask as she grips the door handle.

“Joanie contacted the rehab treatment facility over in Smithfield, and she was able to pull some strings to get me in. Or should I say she blackmailed Conrad into giving her the money to pay for my stay as a little bonus incentive for keeping her mouth shut?” my mom ponders with an impish grin. “I’m checking myself in as soon as I leave here.” She collects herself, before looking over at me. “Because I want to get sober. So that one day, I might be able to meet my grandchild.”

I blink when I feel my eyes welling up. “You do that,” I respond, not making any promises.

“It was good seeing you again, Ivy.” She gazes at me fondly, like she’s taking a mental snapshot of me to hold on to. “See? Your mom isn’t such a flake after all. I might be a terrible mother, but no one threatens my Ivy’s life and gets away with it.”

“Maybe you can turn it around as a grandmother,” I reply, wanting to give her something to cling to.

“One good turn deserves another. I helped Joanie. Joanie helped me, and I was able to help you. It feels like the tide is finally starting to turn, doesn’t it?” she asks with a smile on her face.

“I certainly hope so,” I say with all the enthusiasm I can muster, watching her go. “Because we need it to.”

But she doesn’t hear me as the door swings shut behind her. Maybe she’ll change, maybe she won’t. All I know is I’m not getting my hopes up. Not yet, anyway.

Chapter Twenty-Four
Eric

I hate being away from Ivy, but I hate even more the sight of my best friend’s coffin sitting in the ground.

The sleet drips down my ears as I stare at the gaping hole before me. My dad comes over with an umbrella and stands beside me, but I brush him away. It’s too late. I’m already cold and wet—heartsick over regaining a friend only to lose him again.

“I’m glad that Ivy brought you two boys together in the end,” my dad says, keeping his eyes trained straight ahead.

We’re not good at sharing our emotions with each other. I either go off the deep end or shut myself off, and he takes everything in stride like nothing’s capable of ruffling him. It’s a frustrating mix, considering we’re both too stubborn to make the first move.

“So you forgive me now?” I ask, my voice sounding brittle and worn out as droplets of water start to bead on the cedar casket.

“There was nothing to forgive, son,” he responds, shifting toward me. “I just didn’t want another girl coming between the two of you again.”

“But you just said…?” I question him, getting mad.

“I know what I said,” he replies, affixing me with that look of his when he means business. “I saw that shiner you gave Tim, and I was conflicted. I was happy because it meant that you two were talking again, but I was disappointed that you were talking with your fists.”

“It’s how we spoke best,” I say past the ache in my heart.

“I didn’t like what Cassidy did to you boys, tying you up in knots, choosing one over the other. It wasn’t right.” He walks closer to the grave, his feet sinking into the mud. “I hope he’s at peace now. I never saw anyone pine over someone like he did for her.”

“Not even me?” I ask sharply.

“You moved on,” he responds, tilting his umbrella. “He never did. He lost her. He lost you. He lost everything. You needed to be the bigger man in this situation, but you let it drag on for years, even after she was gone.”

“And don’t you think I won’t be kicking myself for the rest of my life because of it?” I spit back angrily. “I don’t need you adding to my guilt.”

“Hear me out, son,” he says, watching me shiver. “That was before I had a chance to talk to him.”

“I didn’t know you…” I trail off.

“Exactly.” My dad steps forward, holding the umbrella over both of our heads. “There’s a lot you didn’t know. At first, I had my doubts, too. I thought he might’ve developed a thing for Ivy, and that’s the last thing I wanted to see happen.”

“What changed your mind?” I inquire, peering directly into his eyes.

“He covered for you when you went out hunting. He didn’t have to, but he did. He pitched in around the garden center, working all kinds of crazy hours, knowing we were short-staffed.”

I look at my dad—I mean really look at him. Up close, I can see the weathered lines on his face and the grey tinge to his complexion. His shoulders are stooped and his suit seems to be hanging off his body. I’m usually too busy to notice these things, but I can’t ignore them now.

But he keeps talking, “Then Ivy asked if we could come up to the cabin and help her decorate as a surprise for you. I thought Tim would balk, but he was game. I watched how they interacted with each other. He was friendly, obliging. I think he liked making her laugh. But I wasn’t sure if he had feelings for her or not.”

“What convinced you?” I ask, concentrating on the crookedness of his tie clip.

“Ivy had him go up into the crawlspace and bring down some stuff, and when he didn’t come back, she asked me to check on him.” My dad exhales, his breath hanging like a fine mist in the air. “And when I did, I found him curled up in a ball in the corner of your room, rocking back and forth.”

“Jesus,” I mutter.

“He had found some old Polaroids of the three of you from when you were kids.” My dad grips my arm, forcing me to look at him. “There was one of just him and Cassidy that you must’ve taken. She’s not even looking at the camera. She’s just looking at him. And the smile on his face could’ve lit up the room.”

I drop my head, feeling Tim’s pain anew.

“I knelt on the floor beside him, and you know what he said to me?” my dad asks with a quiver in his voice.

I raise my eyes to his, seeing the sorrow reflected in them.

“'Maybe she’ll look at me that way again when I see her in heaven,'” he responds, choking up, and I take a step back, putting some distance between us. “He knew everything she did, yet he was still in love with her. That’s when I knew why he kept away. Because being around you was too painful… You reminded him of her.”

I dig my toe into the corner of a nearby tombstone, so mad at the way things turned out. Tim never opened himself up to life again. It was like, in the years after Cassidy died, he was already living among the dead. He couldn’t let go of her. He never would.

“So I’m sorry, son, for putting all of the blame on your shoulders,” he admits, coming up behind me and patting me on the back. “I was wrong to do that. I always thought that being around each other would only help the two of you get past your differences. I didn’t see how far gone he was. Hanging on to her became a habit for him. He could only handle the version of her he had in his mind. The minute reality interfered, he was lost.”

I rake a hand through my damp hair, gazing off in the direction of Cassidy’s grave. “Do you think they’re together now?”

“If there’s any mercy in this life or the next, I surely hope so,” he replies softly.

“Even with Conrad’s baby?” I turn on my heel, unable to put a rosy spin on things.

“It didn’t matter to him,” he responds, placing his hand on my lapel. “You know that.”

“Does that mean I loved her any less?” I ask, furrowing my brow at him.

“No,” my dad says with conviction. “It just means you love Ivy more.”

I nod, feeling the emotion build up inside of me. He’s right. I got my happily ever after, just not with the girl I expected. I can only hope the same is true for Tim wherever he is now. His heart was capable of so much love, love that was never fully returned.

“Thank you, Dad.” I give him a quick hug, understanding the precious gift of wisdom he’s given me.

At least at the end, Tim and I were on the same side, fighting for what truly matters. Nothing can take that away from me. Coupled with the insight that my father just shared, I think I can finally stop beating myself up over what happened, then and now.

But I’ll never be able to forgive Conrad for setting this in motion and Lauren for carrying it out. The damage they inflicted lives on. The guilt they shared can’t be washed away so easily.

I look down the hill and see Will standing beneath a tree while Ben and his parents stoically shake hands with the mourners who remain. Ben is still in a stupor. Half the town views him with suspicion, wondering how such a nice young man could have shot the editor of the
Gazette
, while the other half thinks he’s a hero for gunning down a madwoman after watching her murder his brother. Public opinion is definitely mixed as evidenced by the light turnout. No one wants to cross the Prices, even in death.

Lauren’s funeral, on the other hand, bore all the pomp and circumstance of a royal wedding. Conrad had a horse-drawn carriage strewn with roses carry her to the family plot. She was laid to rest yesterday as dignitaries and politicians descended to pay their respects. I only heard what Will told me bitterly over breakfast in the hospital cafeteria as he skimmed through a copy of the
Gazette
somebody had left behind. The front page contained a full-color photo of Lauren, and inside there was a complete pictorial spread of the procession. It’s sickening that someone so evil should warrant that much attention.

Some people are starting to whisper and point at Will, no doubt wondering why he’s hanging around. Yeah, it’s common knowledge that he works with Ben at the garden center, but now is a time for family and close friends. His presence is getting conspicuous. He’s drawing attention to himself for all the wrong reasons. Everyone knows he was in league with Lauren this summer to put together the gala for the film festival. He shouldn’t be here right now.

I jog down the slippery grass, leaving my father behind, and make a beeline straight for Will. He’s dressed to kill in an Armani suit he refused to pawn. He definitely doesn’t fit in among people like my dad, who pulls out the one suit he owns for occasions like this. I know he wants to be here for Ben, but now even his parents are starting to notice him. They’re going to wonder why, thinking he’s one of the Prices’ spies.

“C’mon, man. Time to get back to the hospital,” I greet him, tossing an arm around his shoulders getting him to walk with me.

“Look at him,” Will cries, digging in his heels. “I can’t leave him. Not like this.”

“You’ll see him later,” I insist, pushing him along. “You don’t want to blow your cover now, do you?”

“No,” he moans pitifully. “But I’m only doing this for his sake. I could care less what these people think. Besides, I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have with him.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, pulling up short.

“I got a call from Warren after he heard about Lauren,” Will says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I guess he’s back together with Dave and they’re still interested in the screenplay. They want me to come out to L.A. at the beginning of the year and work on it with them.”

“And you’re going to leave Ben?” I ask, shooting a quick glance behind us. “You’re going to break him if you go now.”

“Eric, what choice do I have?” Will groans in frustration. “Do you really want me in your parents’ guest room once the baby comes?”

I haven’t even thought that far ahead, what with everything going on, but he’s right. There’s hardly room enough in my parents’ house now, and spring is a long way off. I can’t expect Will to wait around for Ben to graduate.

“When are you going to tell him?” I inquire once we reach my truck.

“Soon, just not today,” he responds glumly. “He hasn’t been himself since all this happened. He’s lost inside of himself, retreating to a place where I can’t follow. I just don’t know how to reach him.”

“Keep trying,” I encourage, not wanting to face the bleakness of Ben’s new reality. “Don’t give up on him.”

“I could never give up on him,” Will proclaims adamantly, hoisting himself into the truck. “I just might not have a choice. I can’t very well crawl through his bedroom window tonight when his parents are asleep, and he’s not answering any of my calls.”

“He’s just in a state of shock,” I reply, hoping I’m right, as I turn the key in the ignition. “He’ll come around. He just needs some time.”

“Well I guess you’re the expert when it comes to love in extreme circumstances,” he responds, giving me a weak smile.

“Ain’t that the truth,” I agree wholeheartedly, getting him to laugh for the first time in a week. “Besides, Ivy will never forgive you if you leave before the baby’s born. She expects our baby’s godfather to be here for the christening, you know.”

“Do you really think she’s going to be able to hold out much longer?” Will asks as we sit and watch the wiper blades travel back and forth across the windshield.

“Honestly?” I shrug my shoulders. “It’s anyone’s guess. Right now, we’re sitting on the cusp of twenty-two weeks. She just has to hold on a little bit more. Dr. P. bought us some time, but if the baby comes shortly thereafter, it’s going to be extremely premature, and there’ll be a lot of complications that come along with that.”

“Like what?” Will questions, turning to look at me.

“It’ll probably have to be placed in an incubator,” I explain, gripping the wheel. “It might have to be hooked up to a ventilator if its lungs aren’t fully developed.”

“Man, I can’t run off to L.A. Not with everything that’s going on here,” Will cuts in, pressing his forehead against the glass.

“Bro, you gotta do what you gotta do,” I acknowledge. “We’ll definitely miss you, but we’ll get by. Don’t go taking all this upon yourself. My parents are here. Dr. P. and his staff are the best. Trust me. We’re in good hands.”

“And what about Ben?” he asks warily.

“You’ll figure it out as you go along,” I respond, not wanting to sugarcoat anything.

He sighs, covering his eyes with his hand and lightly ramming his fist into the side of my arm.

“Whoever thought I’d be taking love advice from the Landscaping Lothario,” he groans, causing me to snicker.

“It could be worse,” I deadpan. “At least I didn’t find you spilling your guts to Shep.”

“I never thought you’d be the one cheering me up with all that you have going on,” he mumbles, embarrassed. “I think you’ve finally grown up.”

“Well, one of us had to,” I say, trying to downplay the complement.

“No, I’m serious,” he continues. “Remember when you were going to kick my ass that day on the street when I was putting up the marquee? Whoever thought we’d end up friends? I sure didn’t see it coming.”

“Maybe it’s because I’m not the only one who’s changed,” I admit, sneaking a look at him out of the corner of my eye.

“Yeah, Ivy does have the effect on people, doesn’t she?” he replies, stiffening up next to me, probably thinking of all that can still go wrong with her and the baby.

“That’s why I fell in love with her,” I say softly, hoping against hope that everything will turn out all right—for everybody.