Hold On Tight (Take My Hand) (28 page)

“Ah, fuck, doll… are you…are you sure?” I didn’t answer. My mouth was
too busy to respond. “Seriously, doll I’m gonna… I’m…I’m….” One final sweep of
my tongue was all it took to throw him over the edge. With a deep growl, he
thrust his hips one last time, so forcefully I almost lost my balance as I
welcomed the warm and salty fluid spurting into my mouth.

Oh my God, I had never felt so… so…. amazing. So alive… so turned on.
Swallowing purposely as I looked up towards Dexter’s hooded eyes, I rose to my
feet. Placing my hands on his rigid chest I could feel his heart hammering
against my palms. It was beating almost as fast as my own.

“Wow,” he murmured. “Just… fucking wow.” Grinning proudly I moved my
hands to his shoulders, ready to pull him in for a kiss. But then my hands fell
along with him as he dropped unexpectedly to his knees. Biting his bottom lip
and gazing up at me with a raised, mischievous eyebrow he whispered, “your
turn.”

Oooooooh…

~Dexter~

Three weeks later…

“So,
where we headin’?” I asked Chris. Today is my birthday and Chris has been
ordered to ‘get me out of the way’ while Emily and Aunt Sarah plan my
‘surprise’ party. Even if Chris hadn’t told me what was going on, it was pretty
damn obvious. Emily’s a terrible liar. She blushes too much.

You
thinking what I’m thinking? That a surprise party for a recovering addict with
virtually no family and even fewer friends equates to some lame music and lemonade?
Like that even mattered. I’d be spending my birthday with the most important
people in my life and I couldn’t wait. Obviously Marianne couldn’t be with me,
but she sent a text last night wishing me a happy day. We’ve been texting a lot
over the last few weeks and speaking once every few days. It feels both amazing
and completely freakin’ weird…

I’m
a big brother. Fuck, that sentence still gets me every time.

“Thought
we could go pick up some parts. No point wasting the day,” Chris replied,
opening the door to his pickup truck and hopping inside.

“Dude,
it’s my birthday. You seriously gonna make me work on my
birthday
?”

“Well
what the fuck else am I meant to do with you? Not like I can take you down the
pub for a few swift ones and I’m sure as hell not sitting in a dark cinema with
a dude by my side… that leaves a stroll in the park hand in hand, or getting
some work done.”

“You’re
a jackass,” I spat like only a dick with no comeback would. I was totally
messing around of course. Wanna hear another weird thing that’s happened over
the last few weeks? And by weird, I mean completely unex-fucking-pected and
utterly dumb-fucking-founding…

Chris
and I are kind of…
friends
.

I
know, right? Doesn’t make sense does it? Seems he really meant it when he said he
wanted to give me a chance. There are still a few weeks to go before I start my
night-classes at college but Chris has already taught me so much. He’s got a
wicked sense of humor and a passion for bikes and I suppose we’ve just…
clicked. Jesus, I’m starting to sound like I’m in love with the guy.

Saying
all that, I don’t doubt for a second he would take my ass down if I did
anything to hurt Emily, and I’m cool with that. In fact, I think it’s what I respect
most about him. If I’m honest I’m still struggling to understand why he’s not
waiting
for me to hurt her. I’ve hardly
given him any reason to assume otherwise now have I? I know this is gonna sound
weird because naturally, being Emily’s big brother, he’s going to want me to
treat her right… but sometimes it’s almost like he
needs
me –relies on me even- to do the very best by her. To
take care of her. Protect her.

Ah,
shit… it’s not coming out right. Obviously I want those things for Emily too
and I also
want
to be the one to give
them to her. It’s just the way he looks at her sometimes… little things he says
to me…

Oh
fuck it. I’m not explaining myself properly so I’m giving up. But hey, if you
figure out Chris’ deal before I do, give me a heads up yeah?

“Well
just remember I’m the jackass that pays your wages,” Chris replied as he
twisted the key in the ignition. “You heard back from Jared?”

“I’m
expecting his call any time now,” I replied. “They should be setting off soon
if all goes to plan.”

Oh
yeah, did I forget to mention Jared and Snickers are coming up for my surprise
party-that’s-not-really-a-surprise-or-a-party party? Well, I guess technically
tonight
will
be a surprise –
just for Emily, not me.

I
called Jared a couple of weeks ago and he confirmed my theory that Snickers was
just as miserable about the whole ‘no longer friends’ situation as Emily. If
the pair of them are too stubborn to sort it out, then it’s about time us guys
stepped in. Jared and I are convinced it all started because they weren’t used
to spending time apart. They both had shit going on and were usually so reliant
on each other… but what do you do if the other one is busy dealing with crap
too? Well, if you’re a girl – seems you get pissed and start ignoring
each other.

Now
that he’s screwing her (yep you heard right – they are
finally
a ‘thing’) he seemed pretty
certain he could convince her to pluck her head out of her ass and come on up
here. They were supposed to be arriving just after dinner tonight but as yet
Jared hadn’t called me to confirm.

“Right
I’ve just got to post these invoices,” Chris said, pulling up on the curb
outside a Post Office.

“Sure,”
I nodded, stretching my arms out in front of me while I prepared for a long
wait. The massive line was visible from outside so I flopped my head back on
the headrest and closed my eyes.

Then,
almost immediately, they sprang back open when my cell started buzzing in my
pocket.

Jared: Left an hour ago. Train was
delayed. U told Em yet?

Me: No. Want it to be a surprise.
U not driving?

Jared: Long story

Me: How’s Snickers feel about
coming? Truth?

Jared: She can’t fuckin wait.
Seriously mate… she just wants her friend back init.

Me: Init? Must’ve missed the memo
about u movin to the ghetto

Jared: Fuck off

Laughing
to myself I tucked my cell back in my pocket before reaching for my bottle of
water in the cup-holder. Smacking my dry lips together, I brought the bottle
eagerly to my lips and took several large gulps, feeling instantly refreshed…
until my last mouthful got caught in my throat and I almost choked to freakin’
death. I swear my whole life flashed before my eyes. I’m sure you know the
feeling I’m talking about. The one where you know if you breathe in you’re
gonna suck it into your lungs so instead you try to cough it out. But then
you’ve ran out of enough air to cough it out so you try stealing just a
little.
Then you choke harder… and cough
more. Choke, cough, choke, cough, choke, cough… And finally…

Breathe.

So, yeah
don’t worry… I didn’t die. I’m right here.

“Fuck,”
I muttered out loud to myself when I looked down and saw I’d spilled water all
over myself. Either that or the near death experience caused me to piss my
pants without me realizing. That was a joke by the way. I can categorically
state that I did
not
piss my pants.

After
patting down the damp area with my hands and then remembering I don’t have
superpowers that turn my palms into blow-heaters, I flipped down the glove
compartment and fumbled around for something absorbent. This was a work truck,
so I figured there had to be some paper towels or grease-stained cloths in here
somewhere.

“Fuck!”
I blasted, once again to absolutely no one. Tugging on what felt like the edge
of a paper napkin (you know, the type you get in McDonalds) I pulled it out,
bringing a shit load of other crap with it. A small pile of letters drifted to
the floor and a tin of breath-mints exploded all over the place. I say
exploded, what I mean is the cap wasn’t screwed on properly and they fell out.

Bending
down to the foot-well, I gathered up the fallen letters and began stuffing them
back where they came from. Fuck the mints. There were hundreds of them. I would
use a vacuum later, I decided. When I’d finished I noticed one letter still by
my feet. I don’t know what even made me look twice at it when I brought it up
to my face. Maybe it was the blue and white NHS logo that caught my attention.
Regardless, I knew I shouldn’t have kept looking, but my eyes had already
started reading.

Fuck.

Fuck
fuck shit and fuck.

Oncology?
That’s cancer and shit right?

Fuck.

It
was addressed to Chris. Chris had an outpatient appointment next week at the
oncology department to discuss his results. Does Chris have…
cancer?

Fuck.

Holy
shit, suddenly it all started to make sense. The way he looked at Emily
sometimes… like the sight of her was breaking his heart. The time he visited me
in rehab and told me Emily
needs
someone
to take care of her. This massive leap of faith he’s took in me… like he
needs
me to prove any doubts he has
wrong.

“What
the hell’s up with your mush?” Chris startled me and I tried unsuccessfully to
stuff the letter back in the glove compartment before he’d slid all the way
into his seat. “What was that?” he asked gravely. The speed the color drained
from his face told me he knew exactly what
that
was.

“It
was an accident. I was looking for a cloth and the whole fuckin’ thing jumped
out at me.” A silence so intense you could’ve heard an ant take a dump followed
and we both stared down at the offending letter – too nervous to look at
each other.
 
“What’s going on
Chris?” Jesus, my voice actually trembled. I was so freakin’ scared of his
answer. “Are you sick or something?”

Risking
a glance in his direction, Chris’ back stiffened and his nostrils flared. I
braced myself, expecting a punch in the face for going through his stuff. My
mouth dried out and my throat swelled up as I awaited the pain I was about to
feel in my nose. But then the hard line of his mouth softened and he ran both hands
through his short red hair.

“I’m
dying, Dexter.”

Fuck.

To be continued…

Dexter and Emily’s story is far from over. If you want to find out
whether they get their happy ever after, stay tuned for Never Let Go, coming March
2014. Also, if you missed Rachel and Jared and want to know what they got up
while Dexter and Emily were away from home, keep yours eyes peeled for Lean On
Me – Rachel and Jared’s story, coming January 2014.

As always, thank you to my wonderful family. Thank
you Michael, my husband and my
soulmate
, for your
continued support and encouragement. I love and adore you with all my heart.

Thank you Mum and Dad for all the wonderful things
you do for me and my family. Thank you for all your help and support and for
being such brilliant grandparents. I’m pretty sure if you didn’t look after my
children so often I would have gone insane by now!

Thank you
Keeley
Wall
– the best friend in the whole world EVER – for brainstorming with
me, encouraging me, being there for me, putting up with all my whining and most
of all for being as ridiculously
batshit
crazy as I
am!

Thank you to all you fabulous bloggers out there.
There are so many amazing bloggers who I just adore and am so, so grateful to.
To every single one who has read and reviewed my books, posted, shared, liked,
commented, pimped… THANK YOU. I have built up such a great relationship with
some of you and I can’t thank you enough for continuing to support me with
every book I write. The Book Enthusiast, Holly’s Hot Reads, Mia’s Point of
View, Reading
Rainblog
, Book Hooked,
Jelena’s
Book Blog, Book Fanatic –
Roni
, The Book Trollop, and no doubt some more that my
overcrowded brain has left out but who I still love to pieces… you are ALL
awesomely fantabulous!

Thank you to my wonderful beta readers for lending
me a few extra pairs of eyes. I can read and read and re-read some more yet
still I’m guaranteed to miss something and I am so grateful for your opinions,
feedback and advice. So, Karen Peacock, Paula Agnes, Holly Baker, Debbie
Diprima
, Tara
Greseth
and Autumn
Thibault
… thank you, wonderful ladies!

Special thanks to Debra at Book Enthusiast
Promotions. Thank you for your super organizational skills and all your help
and hard work arranging my cover reveals and blog tours, and also for being an
all-round super fun gal!

Thank you to Kari at Cover to Cover designs for
once again creating another awesome cover which I am so proud of!

And finally I would
like to thank my readers. I am overwhelmed by your support and positivity and
I’d like to say a HUGE thank you to each and every person that’s read one or
more of my books. As for my Facebook likers and Twitter followers – I
love getting to know you all and thanks so much for joining in with me. You
guys rock!

I have met so many amazing people since starting
this journey - readers, bloggers and authors alike (and yes, even though I am
one – I still totally
fangirl
when I get to
interact with an author whose book I have read!). I am so happy and proud to
have made so many new friends and if you’re reading this and we talk to each
other, even if it’s just sharing the odd comment on Facebook… then I’m talking
about YOU. I love you all…

Especially you, Paula Agnes! I may not have met
you yet in ‘real life’ but I already consider you one of my best friends. You
are one seriously awesome lady who is exactly my kind of crazy :D

The end… I think that’d make a damn good Oscar
speech. How about you?