Hold Your Breath 02 - Unmasking the Marquess (16 page)

“You walked upstairs? Ludwig didn’t announce you. Hell, Devin is going to kill me.”

“I wanted to visit with Reanna without you hovering. So I asked him not to let you know I was here quite yet. Please, sit. I cannot stand to have another man pacing in front of me. Days of watching Devin do it has made me dizzy.”

Killian crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking down on her. “I will stand in one spot, then, for your sensibilities. So Reanna was awake when you went up there?”

“Yes.”

“How do you think she is?”

“Honestly, she is confused.”

“Confused? About what?”

“About you. She does not know what to think. All of a sudden you want her? Why? You want to move on? For what purpose? Of course she is confused. That, and she thinks you are going to close down the orphanage. Or at the very least, not let her go back there.”

“She hates me.”

“I would not go that far, only because I do not think she is capable of hate. But if so, yes, you well deserve it.”

Sighing, Killian turned and sat next to Aggie, elbows balancing on his knees, hands clasped in front of his mouth.

Aggie lifted a hand from her belly and placed it gently on his shoulder. “Killian, you know you are one of the dearest people to me. Sometimes I may dislike you, but I always love you. You are family. But you also know I never approved of what you have done to Reanna in order to achieve your revenge. You have been a complete bastard to her, and now you are going to have to deal with the consequences your own idiocy created.”

He turned to glare at her. “That is harsh.”

“I only say it because I want you to understand the magnitude of what you have done, so you can try and fix it.”

“I do not think it can be fixed.”

“Rubbish. Your idiocy is in the past. There is nothing for it, now. So how do you get her to think about the present, and not the atrocities you set upon her?” She bit her lip. “That is a tough one. Does she really know anything about you? About your past? About your childhood?”

“No. And she said I killed her heart. Killed her heart, Aggie. How do I come back from that? How do I make amends?”

“Maybe you start by acknowledging that you have had all the power, and with it, you have taken away everything in her life. Now you need to give it all back to her.”

“How would I even begin that? She does not trust me. She does not like me.”

“I do not have an answer for how to do it, but I can tell you how you don’t do it. You don’t take away from her what her world has become.”

“The orphans?”

“Precisely. She has built something very admirable on her own, and you cannot just ban her from that. Those children are her life, her world. They are what she trusts. And you are right, she does not trust you right now.”

“But she is killing herself over them. You saw the pain—how frail she is.”

“You cannot underestimate how much they mean to her. You took away her innocence, Killian. You did that, and it crushed her. Do you not understand that these children—their innocence—are everything to her? That she will do anything and everything to see that they remain innocent for as long as possible? You cannot take her away from them, Killian.”

“So I need to send her back to her aunt’s home?”

Aggie smiled, her sparkling eyes plotting. “That is where fortune has smiled upon you, my friend. Even she knows she is stuck here until her feet heal. There is already too much mayhem at her aunt’s home. So you have been granted time. Use it wisely. I think she can learn to trust you. And I think if you want it, she may even find a way to love you again.”

Aggie’s face tightened into a wince, and the rubbing on the top of her belly sped, but after a moment, her smile reappeared. “Reanna has an incredible soul, Killian. Of all the women to be an ass to, you picked the right one. She loved you once. You did not want her love, and you tossed it aside. But she did love you. Now you just need to decide how far you are willing to go.”

Killian rubbed his forehead. “She is different now, Aggie. Aside from not believing a word I say, she questions everything. I don’t intimidate her like I once did, and she is not afraid to challenge me. And she cares so deeply. So many in her place would have turned bitter, mean, but she didn’t. She moved on, making a life for herself. I found that out at Holloton from the staff. She learned to ride, and then once she found those children, she put all her energy into them. She found purpose. Purpose without me.”

A wide smile cracked Aggie’s face as her eyes brightened at him. “Killian, you want your wife, don’t you? You have actually decided that you want her. For her and her alone.”

“Maybe.” Killian’s eyes went down, shaking his head with a sad chuckle.

“There is no maybe in this, Killian. There is only yes or no. You cannot break her heart again. You cannot take this lightly.”

Killian took in Aggie’s words. She was right. He had to be sure. Hell. He was sure. He looked up at Aggie. “Yes. Yes I want her. I did not know what I had, much less what I lost. Since the day we were married, I have seen nothing when I close my eyes except for her face. No matter what I did to erase it. And now, what she has done. Who she is. You were right about her depths, Aggie. Last night. What she did for those children, it—”

“Oh, hell.” Aggie’s face froze in shock.

Killian snapped to his feet. “What is it?”

The liquid running down along the front of the settee and dripping to the floor told him all he needed to know.

Gripping her belly, Aggie looked up at him, her face petrified white. “My water…”

Killian grabbed her wrists, pulling her to her feet. “Bloody hell.”

Aggie’s breath sped up into quick, shallow bursts. “Killian. Get Devin. I need him. Now, dammit.”

“No. I am getting you home. Devin would kill me if he knew you were out of the house and I didn’t immediately send you home.”

“I don’t care if you get killed or not, Killian, I need my damn husband.”

Killian dropped her arms, and took a step to the door.

“No, Killian. Stop. Don’t leave me.” Her hand flung out to him.

“I am just going to get Ludwig.”

“No. Don’t leave me.”

Killian grabbed her hand while leaning toward the hallway, his voice bellowing, “Ludwig.” He turned back to Aggie and wrapped an arm around her back, walking her forward. “Out to the carriage.”

Ludwig appeared just as Killian opened the front door.

“The duke needs to be found immediately,” Killian said over his shoulder. “He is most likely at the shipping offices. Have him found and sent to his townhouse as quickly as possible. And the duchess’s midwife. She must be brought to their house as well.”

Ludwig nodded and disappeared while Killian half-carried Aggie down the front steps to her carriage.

Her first hard contraction hit in the coach.

In pain, Killian now knew Reanna was a silent screamer, taking in the pain and holding it tight within. Aggie was the exact opposite. Aggie was a screamer, not shy about letting the entirety of London know her body was being ripped apart. She also had a vicious grip on Killian’s hand.

Her townhouse was only ten minutes away, but that gave plenty of time for the bones in Killian’s hand to come near to cracking during the two contractions Aggie had during the ride.

Her screams in front of her house brought several staff outside, so Killian had help in getting her up to her bedroom. Once she was flat in bed, Killian tried to stand up, but Aggie’s death grip on his hand refused to yield.

“No. Don’t leave me, Killian. Please. I cannot do this alone and Devin is not here.”

He sat down on the bed, trying to fake a smile against watching the pain rack her body. “I am here.”

His hand went to her forehead, smoothing the hair away as another set of screams tore from her throat. At their silence, Killian brought his hand down, wrapping his fingers around their clamped hands. “I am here as long as you need me. You do not even need to ask.”

She nodded, relief evident as a slight smile cracked her lips. “Thank you. I am sorry about your settee.”

Killian smiled. “It is all right. I was planning on getting rid of it anyway. I was planning on getting rid of a lot of things.”

Her eyes turned serious. “Killian. If anything should happen—”

“Nothing is going to happen, Aggie. You are wicked strong, and you are going to birth this baby by your sheer damn willpower. And the baby will be healthy. And you will be healthy. Nothing is going to happen.”

She closed her eyes, and tears squeezed past the outer edges of her eyelids. “But if something happens…you need to get Devin through it. Whatever it takes. I don’t know what he would do. Promise me.” She opened her eyes. “Promise me you will take care of him.”

“You know you don’t need to ask.”

“I need to hear the words, Killian. Promise me.”

“I promise. Whatever it takes.”

Her other hand came up to go over his. “You are a good man, Killian. You just have to remember that. No matter what has happened, what you have done. You are good. I know it. Devin knows it. You need to make your life right. You need—”

She doubled over as a scream ripped away the rest of her words.

“Bloody fucking hell, Killian, what the hell are you doing with my wife?” The words boomed over Aggie’s scream.

Killian stood from the bed, but Aggie’s grip didn’t let him escape. Killian was trapped between a seething, out-of-breath Devin who was two steps away from killing him, and a screaming Aggie, who refused to release his hand.

He got one hand up to ward off his friend. “She’s in pain, Devin. Did you really want her to be alone?”

Devin stepped past him, wedging himself between Killian and Aggie. He tore Aggie’s hand from Killian’s, and she clamped onto him, screams still suffocating the chamber.

Killian stepped out of the room.

~~~

Fourteen hours later, Killian heard a new scream tumble down the stairs of Devin’s home. A baby’s wail.

Killian sat up on the sofa in Devin’s study. He hadn’t slept—only a deaf man could with Aggie’s constant screams. An hour after the baby’s cries quieted, Killian saw the midwife leave. But no Devin, no staff came into the study.

Pacing for the next hour, Killian’s heart began to sink when Devin’s valet, face
drawn, came into the study and requested his presence upstairs.

Heart slowing to crawl, Killian walked upstairs, stopping at the door to harden himself against whatever was inside the bedroom.

He knocked.

Footsteps thudded across the floor, and the door opened. Devin stood, eyes sunken, exhausted darkness shadowing his face.

But even through that, he beamed.

“It is a boy,” Devin said, his voice only a crack above a whisper.

Killian didn’t want to ask. “Aggie?”

“I do not think she will be able to talk for weeks. Beyond that, she is as fine as fine can be after childbirth.”

Killian let his held breath escape.

Devin opened the door wide. “Come in and meet my son.”

Killian stepped into the room, following Devin into the dim light of a few lamps. Aggie was propped up on the bed, back against a wall of pillows, baby in her arms. She looked exhausted. Exhausted and beautiful.

Devin went over to her and she handed the bundle of swaddling into Devin’s arms. He turned to Killian.

“I told her it could wait, but Aggie wanted to ask you right away. And I was not about to argue with her after what I just witnessed.”

He held out the bundle to Killian, and after a second of trepidation, Killian took the baby from Devin. Fast asleep, the baby had thumb solidly in his mouth, cheeks flexing in and out with sucking.

Killian looked up at Devin, then to Aggie. “He is splendid.”

She smiled at him and then leaned forward, face grimacing at the movement, to poke Devin in the back.

He looked over to her, smiling as he rolled his eyes. “Yes. What my wife has no voice for right now, and would like to ask you, is if you will be his godfather, and, God forbid, his guardian should the need ever arise?”

Killian looked up from the baby at the two of them, shocked. His eyes landed on Aggie. “I…that you trust…”

Aggie’s scratchy voice, near silent, interrupted him. “Of course we trust you, Killian. We still have faith in you, the good in you, even if you have lost it in yourself.”

“We do believe in you, Killian,” Devin said, grabbing his wife’s hand. “There is no one we trust more, and we would be more than honored if you said yes.”

Killian looked down at the babe’s semi-round face, watching the tiny eyes scrunch, and was more humbled than he had ever been in his life. “Yes. Then yes. I am the one that is honored.”

At the sound, the baby yanked his thumb from his mouth and bellowed. Aggie motioned for him, and Killian cradled the baby to Devin, who passed him to Aggie.

“Excellent.” Devin slapped him on the shoulder as they walked out of the room and clicked the door closed behind them. “Oh, and I apologize for my thoughts of killing you.”