Holding a Tender Heart (25 page)

O
n Monday morning, a week later, Verna hummed a tune as she washed the dishes. Everything looked so much brighter now. The early July sunlight poured in through the kitchen window, and the field near the barn was filled with mown hay. Her outlook on life had greatly improved because Joe's heart and hers had mended with the time they'd spent together recently. It had been two Sunday nights now that they'd enjoyed each other's company after the hymn singing. Deep in conversation with each other while sitting on the couch, Verna couldn't stop looking into his strong, handsome face. She was sure no one had ever felt as happy as she did when she was with him.

She jerked her head around as quick steps sounded on the stairs behind her. Debbie rushed into the kitchen, obviously on her way to work at that
Englisha
place in Lewistown.

“Having a good morning, are we?” Debbie asked.

“I am!” Verna said, practically glowing. She couldn't help but have a
gut
day unless
Da Hah
decided to break her heart again. And He hardly seemed about to do that this morning.

“I'm so happy for you!” Debbie gave Verna a quick hug. “I do confess I kept holding my breath the past two Sunday nights, expecting another breakup between the two of you.”

“It won't happen,” Verna said with a grin. “We're getting along just fine.”

“That's certainly what it looks like,” Debbie allowed. “I was determined to awaken when you came upstairs last night. I thought I'd come over and wish you congratulations for your continued success. But I must have slept soundly.”

“That's so sweet, Debbie,” Verna said. “But I don't want anyone waking up for me. Not once it's past midnight.”

“Well, it's so great that you had a good time,” Debbie said as she dashed out the washroom door.

Verna looked out the kitchen window and watched her friend leave. Not until Debbie was in her car and had driven out the lane did the thought cross Verna's mind. Debbie was in her Amish dress. She'd worn Lois's Sunday dresses for the weekends, but she'd always worn her own
Englisha
clothing during the week. Had that changed now with Debbie's steady journey toward the Amish way of life? That was another great happiness to add to her joy this morning. What a blessing Debbie was to their family, and now Debbie dared show her intentions to the
Englisha
world! Would her boss be happy about that?
Yah
, apparently. Things must be okay at work if Debbie had enough nerve to wear Amish dresses that were unstylishly long.

Debbie didn't speak a lot about her job. Here at home her focus was on learning the Amish lifestyle. Lois gave her cooking lessons at least once every week, and sewing lessons were on the list somewhere. How Debbie managed all that plus a regular
Englisha
job was hard to imagine. Maybe that's why she was always rushing around, especially in the morning. She was a brave and determined girl, and Verna admired her a lot. It took great courage to change one's lifestyle the way Debbie planned to. And
Daett
liked and approved of Debbie too. That was its own miracle all by itself.

Verna glanced toward the basement stairs as footsteps sounded. Ida appeared with an empty hamper basket. Her cheeks were rosy
from her outside work. She'd hung another load of clothing on the wash line. Verna had been out in the barn earlier with Ida while Lois made breakfast. Lois was in the sewing room now, busy with a dress pattern.

Verna glanced at Ida. “Do you need help? I'm almost done here.”

“
Nee
, all I have is a load from Emery's room.” Ida muttered, “Boys—what a mess they make! More dirty clothing from one boy than ten girls.”

Verna smiled. Emery
was
a little spoiled, but then Ida did exaggerate.

“I'm getting a clean man—once the time comes,” Ida said as she plopped down on a kitchen chair.

Verna hid her look of astonishment. Ida never sat down for a minute in the middle of her wash day. At least not until every last piece was on the line, so she must have something serious on her mind. Verna turned toward her. “Did something happen I don't know about? Were you asked home from the hymn singing for next Sunday night?”

Ida laughed. “
Nee
, of course not. But that doesn't keep one from thinking, especially since you and Joe patched things up. Do you think
Daett
would allow me to say
yah
if someone did ask?”

“Certainly, Ida. I'm sure he would.” Verna made her voice sound cheerful. She wanted to hide her lack of confidence lest Ida notice and her hopes end up dashed before they ever took flight. The truth was, what their
daett
would say was far from certain. And after the trouble she'd had with Joe,
Daett
might be more wary than ever. The thought cast a dark shadow across her heart. Things with Joe must continue to go well. Especially if Ida had hopes some boy would bring her home soon.

Ida said, “I'm not so sure what he'd say.”

Verna ignored Ida's gloominess. “Has someone perhaps…?”

Ida laughed. “Paid me attention? Hah! Now that would be the day.”

“Ida, you mustn't think like that! There's someone out there for you. I know there is!”

Ida jumped to her feet. “What in the world am I doing? My wash isn't done yet.”

Verna watched Ida dash off to go upstairs. Some man
had
paid attention to Ida. She was sure of it. But who could it be? Should she inquire further? What
gut
would that do? She couldn't help Ida beyond making sure there was no further
kafuffle
with Joe. Well, she would do exactly that, Verna decided.

Ida appeared with her hamper full of dirty pants and shirts. “Almost done!” she said as she continued her dash toward the basement stairs.

Something was definitely bothering Ida. She was acting quite strange this morning. Verna finished the last of the dishes and slipped into the living room.
Mamm
was on the couch knitting. The whirr of Lois's sewing machine rose and fell in the distance. Verna wished to speak with someone about Ida, but Lois had the door closed. She probably didn't wish to be bothered. But this was important, and
Mamm
probably wouldn't know the answer to her question.

“I have to speak with Lois,” Verna announced as she motioned toward the sewing room.

Mamm
raised her eyebrows but didn't offer an opinion.

Verna opened the door and quietly stepped inside and closed the door behind her.

“What?” Lois asked not looking up from her work.

Verna waited until the next line of thread was finished. “Something about Ida bothers me this morning, Lois. Has a man been paying her attention?”

Lois looked up. “Ida? She has been asked to be taken home?”

“
Nee
, I'm asking if you noticed anything, that's all.”

“Well, don't ask me. How would I know? Don't bother me now. I'm trying to focus.”

“Then focus on my question,” Verna insisted. “Have you seen anything?”

Lois groaned but stopped and took a few seconds to think. “No one except Paul Wagler. But he flirts with everyone.”

“
Yah
,” Verna allowed. “But I thought Paul was giving Debbie the most attention. Unless I miss my guess, Ida's got someone in mind, although who it is I can't imagine.”

“You never know.” Lois looked down and her sewing machine whirred again.

Lois didn't know more than she did, Verna decided. She opened the door, stepped out, and closed it behind her. She walked into the kitchen and slipped out the washroom door. Ida was outside placing clips on the line to hold the last load of clean clothes to the line. Verna grabbed a few clips and held them in her mouth as she reached down to pick up a pair of Emery's pants and pin them to the line. She turned to Ida. “You might as well tell me what's bothering you. I know something is.”

Ida wrinkled her face. “I'm just worrying, I guess. Like everyone does sometimes. You know, about what life holds. Maybe after a few years this single life will get better.”

“My, you're morbid!” Verna said before laughing. “It's not the end of the world, you know. Look at me—I'll be twenty-five before long.”

“
Yah
, and married by this fall, if I don't miss my guess. Has Joe kissed you yet?”

Verna figured her cheeks were turning into flames of red about now. She took a deep breath. This wasn't how she wanted the conversation to go. Ida's words troubled her, and not just because she'd never talked about such things before.

“You don't have to tell me,” Ida interjected, a little red-cheeked herself. “I suppose I shouldn't be thinking about such things.”

“Well, he hasn't,” Verna admitted. “And,
yah
, I'm hoping for a fall wedding. But it takes a willing man, you know.”

“Oh, he's willing enough,” Ida said.

“Do we have to have such plain talk?”

Ida laughed. “You're the one who started it, remember?”

“But there is someone you're interested in, isn't there?” Verna pushed.

Ida took a moment to answer. “
Yah
, if you must know. But I think it's just on my part. He would never give someone like me a second glance.”

“But he has given you
one
?” Verna glowed. “Tell me, Ida, who is he?”

“Calm yourself.” Ida's face burned red. “It's nothing but my imagination. And that's all it will ever be.”

“But you must not say so, Ida. Look what has happened between Joe and me. Even after the awful
kafuffle
we had.”

Ida laughed bitterly. “You have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Then speak plainly for once. I'm tired of beating around the bush.”

Ida's face flamed again. “If you must know, it's Paul Wagler. Are you happy now?”

Verna gasped. “Oh, Ida, no!”

Ida hung her head. “
Yah
, I'm afraid so. My heart has gotten ideas of its own, and there's nothing I can do about it.”

Verna dropped the shirt she held into the hamper. “You must get this out of your heart at once, Ida,” she scolded. “There's not a bigger flirt around than Paul.”

Ida groaned. “You think you're telling me anything new? If Paul would only settle down with someone maybe I could get him out of my mind. But he keeps flitting around like a bee between flowers. And my heart beats faster hoping that one day I'll be one of those flowers—like maybe the
last
one.”

“Has he given you any reason to hope, Ida?”

Ida shrugged. “A smile here and there while he's stealing glances at Debbie. Now there's a flower he's landed on. Clinging to it is more like it.”

Verna reached up to clutch the clothesline. “Ida, please don't tell me you're jealous?”

Ida laughed. “Jealous of Paul's attention?
Yah
, but not of Debbie. She cares nothing for the man.”

“And you know this?”

“
Yah.
Debbie has told me.”

“Does she care for another Amish man?”

Ida wrinkled her face. “You can ask Debbie about that. I promised not to spill her secrets.”

Verna sighed. “I'm not worried about Debbie. She can take care of herself. It's you I'm worried about. This is never going to happen, Ida. Not with Paul.”

Ida didn't say anything more because there was nothing more to say. The two finished hanging up the clothes and walked toward the house.

“I'll be happy with what
Da Hah
has given me,” Ida said at the basement door. “It just takes me a while to adjust. Seeing you and Joe though…I have to admit it…makes things worse. I don't want to spoil your joy, Verna. Believe me! I'm very happy for you.”

“I believe you.” Verna gave Ida a hug.

Ida, holding the empty laundry basket, hugged her back with one hand. “We'll always be sisters,” she whispered. “And when you bring your little
bobblis
home, Verna, I'll love them like my own.”

Verna stared off into the distance. “You don't know yet what
Da Hah
has in store for you, Ida. He never gives anything we don't need.”

“Then this may be what I'm needing—the single life.” Ida tried to look happy. “I will pray
Da Hah
's presence carries me through my life even if I never have a man to hold me in his arms.”

“Oh, Ida.” Verna wrapped her sister in another long hug. “You mustn't say such things. Soon you'll have both of us crying.”

“I know.” Ida took a deep breath, gathering herself together.

“I will pray for you,” Verna whispered as they went inside.