Holding On (24 page)

Daniel followed Justine into the short-term parking lot. She clicked her key fob, and a silver Mercedes SL convertible let out a shrill sound.

“This is what you’re driving these days?” Daniel asked as he hoisted his suitcase into the barely there trunk.

“It’s one of the aforementioned Byron benefits.” Justine grinned as she gracefully slipped into the driver’s seat.

The inside of the car was stuffy from the day’s heat, but the warm leather seats felt good against his aching back.

“What do you want to eat?” Justine asked.

“Whatever’s close.”

“This is LA. Nothing’s that close, and nothing’s that far either. What are you in the mood for?”

He caught a hint of mischief in her voice, but her face betrayed nothing. “Honestly, I don’t care. A burger’s fine. Anything.”

“Burger it is.” She started the car. They rode in silence with Justine interjecting trivia about a landmark here or there. Daniel was busy brooding about Bob. He kept imagining Marienne snuggled in a blanket on his couch. Laughing with him over a mug of cocoa. Ella and Drew sleeping under his roof. Stomach acid singed the base of his throat.

“Where are we going?”
Why are we driving so far?

“We’re not going anywhere,” Justine said. “We’re here.” She pulled into a parking spot on the street.

“Sorry.”

“Like I said, you’re cranky when you’re hungry.” She grabbed her purse and climbed out of the car. “These are the best burgers I’ve found out here. You’ll feel much better after you have one.”

He followed her down the street and into Twenty Six Beach. His mouth watered from the aroma of grilling meat. They took a seat and Daniel scanned the menu. There were over a dozen burgers to choose from ranging from standard to bizarre.

“Peanut butter and jelly on a burger?” He crinkled his nose.

“Yeah, that’s a popular one, but I’ve never had it.”

“You hate peanut butter, I know.”

Justine smiled. “I’ve had most of the others. They’re all good. You’d like Olé. The guacamole is fantastic. Or the brunch burger—they’re famous for that.”

“Bacon and eggs on a burger. Sounds perfect. Particularly since I may well be at the airport straight through breakfast.”

“Why don’t you just wait and take your flight on Friday?”

“I want to go home.”

The waitress came up and gave them a huge smile. “Are we ready?”

Justine ordered a caprese burger—fresh mozzarella, heirloom tomato, baby greens and balsamic drizzle, with a salad instead of fries and an unsweetened iced tea. Daniel went with the brunch burger, fries and a Coke.

“I’ll bring your drinks right away.” The waitress finished scribbling on her pad.

“Could we start with an order of Chilaquiles Diablo?”

“You got it.”

Daniel’s brow furrowed.

“They’re like nachos, only better. And very hot.”

Daniel glanced at his watch.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure the planes are still a million hours behind schedule. Relax.”

The waitress brought their drinks.
Daniel folded his straw wrapper into a tiny square while Justine chattered.

“You’ll never guess who I ran into a few weeks ago at a CD release party.”

“Who?” He didn’t really care. He looked around to try to tell if the restaurant might have internet access and wondered how much Justine would bitch if he asked the manager if he could connect his laptop so he could check flight status.

“Mark Feldman.” Justine sipped her tea, looking at him with her bright, expectant eyes.

He hadn’t heard that name since college. “That dick who was always asking you out, even when I was standing right next to you?”

“That’s the one.”

“Dick.” Daniel took a swallow of soda and caught the pleased look on Justine’s face. She had always loved when he was jealous.

“Well that dick is now a major record producer. He’s had three clients go gold.”

Daniel scowled. “Well good for him. Maybe now when he asks women out they’ll actually say yes.”

Justine laughed, and Daniel did too, in spite of himself. The Chilaquiles Diablo arrived, an enticing plate of tortilla chips with melted cheeses and chilies and a scoop of guacamole. He pulled one off the plate and popped it into his mouth.

“Careful,” Justine said.

The heat hit him as he chewed. “Bloody hell.” He sputtered and grabbed for his Coke.

“Told you.” Justine grinned as he coughed. “Here.” She held out a forkful of guacamole. He quickly took it, sighing as the creamy avocado quieted the flames in his mouth.

“Jesus.” He wiped the sweat off his forehead. His eyes still watered.

“You’re so British.”

He was too flushed to come up with a clever retort.

“Can we get some more sour cream please?” Justine asked the waitress. “East coaster.” She shrugged and pointed to Daniel.

“Very funny.”

She grinned and shoved a chip into her mouth. No coughing ensued. “You know I’ve always liked things hot.” She batted her eyes.

“Don’t start.” He shook his head.

“I’ll be good.” She smiled and popped another chip into her mouth. “So, tell me about Drew. Is fatherhood all you hoped it would be? Do you have a picture?”

“It is. And I do. Do you actually want to see it? You’re not a fan of babies.”

“I’ll make an exception for this one. It’s not all the time your ex-husband has a child. I’m curious what your baby looks like.”

Daniel pulled out his wallet and opened it.

“Oh my God,” Justine said. “Is that Ella? She got so big. How does she feel about having a baby brother?”

“She adores him. She’s such a good big sister. Always helps care for him. She acts like he’s her baby half the time.”

“That’s sweet. He’s beautiful, Daniel. He has your eyes.” She handed him back his wallet. “I’m glad you got what you wanted.”

“Thank you.”

“And the success with your screenplay. That’s got to be an incredible rush.”

“I suppose. I’m not much for that type of rush as you know. But I’m glad it’s doing well.”

The waitress brought their burgers. “Is there anything else I can get you now?”

Daniel raised his eyebrows at Justine.

“No, we’re good thanks,” she said.

Daniel took a huge bite of burger. The fried egg and bacon complimented the flavor of the beef. “You’re right,” he said between chews. “These are fantastic burgers.”

“Told you.” Justine stole a fry off his plate.

He scowled. “Hey, get your own fries.”

“Why would I do that when I can just eat yours?”

“You haven’t changed a bit.” He chuckled but Justine’s brow furrowed.

“You have.” She paused, eyeing him as he continued to eat. “How is it that now that you’re married to Marienne you’ve managed to become everything I wanted you to be when you were married to me?”

The melancholy tone of her voice came as a surprise. She looked down.

“I’m sorry, Justine. I truly never meant to disappoint you.”

“I know.”

“We wanted such different lives.”

“I know. You’re right. It’s all worked out for the best. You’ve got your baby. And I certainly never would have moved to New Hampshire. I’m glad you’re happy with your life. I’m happy with mine, too. I just wonder sometimes what it’s going to take for me to be really satisfied. No matter how much I get it’s never enough, you know?”

Her eyes filled with sadness, and he reached for her hand. Her fingers closed around his, and for a moment he remembered how close they once were—how hopeful they’d been for a future together. Flashing lights at the next table caught his attention and he turned to see several people snapping shots of the couple who’d just been seated.

“Gotta love LA.” Justine laughed. She craned her neck to see who was being photographed. “Reality TV stars,” she announced, taking another sip of tea. “Maybe we’ll wind up on the cover of
The Scoop
.” Daniel looked down at their joined hands and yanked away from Justine.
Oh good God
. That’s all Marienne would need to see. He checked his watch. “I really want to get back to the airport soon. Maybe they’ve got some flights running by now.”

“As soon as we’re done eating we’ll go.” She plucked another fry off his plate and popped it into her mouth. Daniel took a deep breath and finished his burger.

They headed back to the airport in relative silence. Justine pulled into the terminal.

“You’re not really worried about that Bob character, right?” Justine asked.

Daniel remained quiet.

“Come on. Marienne knows how good she’s got it with you. She wouldn’t be that stupid.”

“I’m the one who’s got it good. I hate that he’s there for her in ways that I’m not.”

“So you’re jealous. Jealous isn’t always a bad thing.” She pulled into a parking spot and he saw a glint in her eye. “I know how you could make her jealous.” Justine put the car in park and leaned closer.

“I don’t want to make her jealous.” Daniel stared her down.

“Why not? Could be fun.” She put her hand on his leg.

“Stop it.”

“I kinda owe her you know. She did lure my husband away with her baking prowess and her willingness to use her uterus for practical purposes.”

Daniel laughed. “You know, you’re pretty funny when you’re not being a total bitch.”

Justine smiled. “I’m pretty funny then, too.” She ran her hand up his chest and played with his collar. “Just once, for old times’ sake.” She held her face inches away from his.

It was tempting. The old attraction was still there, now an enticing mix of forbidden and familiar, but he pulled away. “I love her,” he said.

And that said it all.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Daniel couldn’t believe how dark the streets were. Not a light on anywhere. It was the opposite of LA. Flickering candlelight glowed from windows here and there but otherwise there was only darkness.

“Bet you’re wishing you’d stayed in LA,” the driver said.

“No,” Daniel said, without hesitation. He puffed his breath into his hands. Even inside the cab it was cold. He wished he had his warmer coat.
Marienne and the kids must have been freezing in the house.
His leg bounced with impatience as the driver inched along the icy side roads.

“The wife and kids at home?”

“Neighbor’s house. Their power came back on already.”

“Want me to take you there or to your place?”

“Let’s go to my house and see if the lights are back. If not, I’ll go to the neighbor’s.”

The headlights from the cab showed the extent of damage to the power lines. Trees were bent into enormous ice-covered arches, pressing down on the wires. Street signs, mailboxes, lampposts, everything glittered with a thick coating of ice.

“Your street got hit wicked hard.” The driver pointed out the window. Three power poles lay like fallen dominoes along the road. “Bet you’ll be out ‘til sometime next week.”

Daniel took a deep breath.
We can’t spend an entire week with Bob.

The driver pulled into Daniel’s driveway. Two trees were down in the front yard, one blocking the driveway. “Hope you weren’t planning on taking your car anywhere.”

Daniel let out a deep breath. “Fantastic.” He opened the car door.

“You want help with your bag? Or you just gonna bring it to your neighbor’s?”

“I don’t know.” Daniel stepped out onto the icy driveway, almost slipping as he slammed the door shut. He made his way to the front door, stepping over ice-crusted branches, the grass crunching beneath his feet with every step. He shuddered as he fumbled to get his keys in the lock. The doorknob was ice cold. His fingers stuck to it.
Jesus.

The door was partially iced shut. Opening it sounded like the seal breaking on a fresh jar of nuts. Daniel walked into the cold silence of his house. He longed for the warmth of his home, his family, and all he had now was emptiness. He flipped the light switch but nothing happened. In the dark he couldn’t find a flashlight so there wasn’t really much he could accomplish. He’d have to go to Bob’s.

****

The lights blaring from Bob’s house were annoyingly bright, given the circumstances. Daniel asked the driver to wait while he went to the front door.

He rang the doorbell and waited, shivering again.

Bob answered, holding a cup of coffee. “Hey Daniel. We were wondering when you’d make it here. Phones have been out all day, but they’re working on them. Come on in.”

We were wondering
. The thought of Bob and Marienne as ‘we’ made his blood boil.

He stepped into the house and heard Ella yell, “Daddy!” She ran from the living room and flung herself against him. He scooped her up and held her tight. “I missed you!”

“I missed you too, sweet girl.” He closed his eyes and kissed the side of her head. “Where are Drew and your mum?”