Holding Out For A Hero: SEALs, Soldiers, Spies, Cops, FBI Agents and Rangers (43 page)

And what ordinary person got ambushed, for God’s sake? She speared her hair in disbelief as the possibilities of what that incident meant played havoc with her imagination.

The sound of the back door caught her attention, and she heard her father’s familiar walk. “Jaymee girl?” he called out.

“I’m in here.”

Bob opened the study door and looked into the room before walking in. “Alone?” he asked.

Jaymee waited a beat for the usual deprecatory remarks that followed, but none came. Looking at her father, she was surprised to find him clear-eyed.

“Yes,” she answered, studying him.

Bob glanced at the computer and the papers on the desk. “Have you found more work to replace the Hidden Hills subdivision?”

Jaymee shook her head. “I haven’t been looking around. Several builders have some work for me, so I’m not too worried.”

“Yes, but a subdivision is steady work. It’s a shame we lost the account.”

We? Did she hear right? It had been forever since her father included himself in the business. “That’s true,” she agreed. “Is there anything you needed, Dad?”

Bob picked up a bill from the pile, looked at it, then put it back. “I just wondered how the inspection had affected our business, that’s all. Builders don’t take kindly to undernailing. I’m worried that word might get around.”

Her father was behaving very strangely. Something was different, the way he spoke, the way he looked at her. Pushing her chair away from the table, she stood up.

“Nothing to worry about,” she said. “I had the inspector give me copies of his findings. Whoever sent in the complaint didn’t know I’d gone back to check the roofs.”

She left out Chuck’s and Rich’s names. Bob surprised her by bringing them up himself.

“You went back because you knew about Chuck and Rich all along.”

Jaymee shrugged, wondering where her father was trying to trip her up. “I had my suspicions.”

“And you made sure those roofs were done right after firing them, didn’t you? You’ve always taken care of everything, haven’t you?”

“Why the sudden interest, Dad?”

He fidgeted with the papers again, drawing a slight frown from Jaymee. “Everything’s in order, right?” he continued in that half-stating, half-questioning tone of voice. “All caught up.”

“Dad?” She wondered whether he was really as sober as he appeared.

“That computer makes all the paperwork so much easier, doesn’t it?” he went on, still fidgeting with the bills.

Jaymee studied her father a few seconds. “Paperwork is still paperwork,” she said slowly. “I’m really behind filing these bills away.”

Bob cleared his throat. “Is it still the same system?”

She nodded, too stunned for a moment to say anything. Finally, she said, “There’s a pile of bills in the shoebox that needs sorting.”

Her father avoided meeting her eyes. “Good. Well, good night. I suppose you’ll be at Mindy’s party tomorrow.”

“Yes. Good night.”

She remained where she was as her father closed the door behind him. She couldn’t recall the last time her father hadn’t been caustic or drunk while talking to him. Tonight, he was neither.

She was tired. It had been a very long day and a nap sounded a lot more tempting than house chores. She dimmed the lights and lay down on the sofa. If Nick didn’t show up by midnight, she would go to bed. Closing her eyes, she let out a long sigh. She didn’t even know where he stayed. Details, she needed details.

***

Nick checked the time as he made his way to the back of Jaymee’s house. She had left the porch light on for him. He paused for a second before inserting the key into the lock and turned. Such a familiar act, turning a key and walking into a house in the dark. Familiar and intimate. He smiled humorlessly.

Things hadn’t quite gone the way he’d wanted this evening. Jed’s sudden appearance not only changed his plans, but also sped up his intention to slowly reveal himself to Jaymee. There was no hope for that now, knowing how her mind worked. Not after she’d witnessed that little display in the woods. Jed had done it deliberately, of course. Jed, who never stopped pushing anyone to his limit, who constantly tested everyone around him. Nick’s lips curled up resolutely. He’d be damned if he allowed his cousin to test Jaymee or toy with her in one of his usual mind games. Not this time, cuz.

Light shone from beneath the study door and he quietly opened it. The computer was still on, but Jaymee was curled up on the couch, her face hidden against the back pillows. Closing the door, he lay down the book bag he’d brought along, and went to sit on the floor by the sofa. He heard her soft, even breathing, and didn’t have the heart to wake her. She didn’t sleep enough as it was.

He glanced back at the computer. He’d shown Jed how far along he’d gotten before he was alerted there was an explosive aboard his boat. After debriefing him, Jed had agreed they needed to break the code before he could surface again. If the program fell into the wrong hands now, the loss of lives thus far would be a waste. Most of all, they needed to get the ones who were responsible for his near-demise, as well as their friends’ deaths. Their enemies weren’t stopping there, that was certain, and Jed wasn’t going to wait around for them to dig and find out about Grace. Nick could understand his determination, especially now he knew about Emma’s death. Reaching out, he wrapped a long ringlet of Jaymee’s hair around his finger. He didn’t think he could bear it if she was hurt because of the nature of his job.

He took out a flash drive from the side pocket of the book bag. Jed’s programs were nowhere near the capacity of what his specially-designed software could do, but since his precious belongings were at the bottom of the ocean, he would have to make do. It would take some time, with some serious rewriting, to get these programs ready the way he wanted them. Might as well get started while she slept.

***

Jaymee heard him at work even before she was truly awake. With her eyes still closed, she could see with her mind’s eye the expression on his face as he concentrated on the screen, his mouth occasionally quirking as he thought out a problem, his fingers moving knowledgeably on the keyboard.

She opened one eye. The room was in darkness, except for the illumination from the computer screen casting a silver gray glow over the man in her chair. He typed. Her computer flashed back answers to his commands. He typed some more.

She doubted she’d understand anything on the screen even if she were close enough to make out the lines. His familiar profile, silhouetted in the shadows, projected a mind in its element. He worked efficiently, communicating with that damn machine as if it hadn’t given her fits for months. She wrinkled her nose then gave in and smiled wryly. A man in deep thought was a very potent draw to a woman like her. Slowly, she sat up.

Nick didn’t turn around. “Don’t turn the light on,” he said, his fingers continuing their dance on the keyboard. “Come here, babe.”

It didn’t even surprise her any more, the way he knew she’d awakened. She rose, pushing away the sofa pillow, rubbing sleep from her face, and went to stand behind him. She was right. Nothing on that screen was comprehensible, as rows and rows of what she usually termed computer garbage flashed and disappeared. She wanted to touch him, but didn’t. At the moment, he had become a stranger.

He clicked the mouse, and after a series of beeps, her usual normal MENU popped back on the screen. Then, he whirled the office chair around to face her.

“Did you have a good sleep?”

She wished she could see his face, wondering why he’d turned off the lights. “Yes, I did. Is it very late?”

“Around midnight.”

She angled her head. “Not zero hundred hours?” she asked softly. When his hand reached up to touch her, she took a step back from him. “No. You aren’t going to divert me tonight with your evasive tactics, Nick.”

“I see you’ve been getting information.”

“Grace unintentionally let me know.”

His laughter was lightly mocking. “Wrong, sweetheart. Jed’s daughter never slips information unintentionally.”

Jaymee frowned. “You mean, she wanted me to know?”

Nick settled back into the chair and sighed. “Grace is her father’s daughter,” he explained. “She likes to test people. She obviously liked you enough to give your unasked questions some answers.”

“Not all my unasked questions. She wouldn’t tell me what it is you do.” She gestured at her computer. “What it is you were doing just now.”

In the darkness, his voice was enigmatic, with none of his soft drawl. “Tell me. What is it you think I do—was doing just now?”

He wasn’t fooling her this time. Glibly, she told him, “Certainly not my taxes. And you’re doing it again, making me go round and round while you sit there all detached. It’s pissing me off big time.”

There was a smile in his voice. “You haven’t done so badly, Jaymee. In fact, you’re closer to the truth than you think.”

She didn’t want to guess, didn’t want to be toyed with, any more. Glaring at the dark plains that were his features, she lashed out, “I know what my truth is, but what’s pissing me off is your deliberate ways to avoid telling the truth to me. Oh yes, let’s kiss Jaymee and distract her when she gets too close. Let’s bounce her on the bed if she asks too many questions.” She fought back hot tears. “You used me, Nick. Or Killian, whoever you are. You were playing with my mind all along, knowing my secrets, taking me down this far and no further. Well, no more, damn you! I’m not going to let you push my buttons, you...you....”

She wanted to call him a hurtful name, but couldn’t even think of any. Her heart ached too much.

Nick could see light reflecting from the tears in her eyes. His own feelings were a jumble of anger and regret. She was right, and there wasn’t a thing he could do to ease her pain. Even as he wanted to comfort her, the trained part of him was analyzing her and the situation, always in absolute control. How was he to explain he depended on that detachment to survive?

Her anger was justified, and he couldn’t bear to see her in pain. Yet he couldn’t deny a single one of her accusations. He’d taken and hadn’t given back, and he knew, for her, honesty was the most important thing in her life.

“Jaymee...” he began.

“No,” she interrupted. She took a deep breath and said in a clear, even voice, “I won’t be accused of emotional blackmail. You feel sorry for me now, so you’re going to throw out a few crumbs. You can keep your stupid secrets. I told you I grew up among men, and I understand more than you think…Nick. Placate the crying female. Stroke and pet her. Bah!” She made to turn away.

“Don’t. Don’t turn away from me.”

If he had shouted back, Jaymee would have walked away, just the same way she always did when her father went into one of his tirades. But Nick’s words were commandingly quiet, threaded with steel. She stood there, watching, as he stood up and loomed over her in the shadows. She could feel tension emanating from him and once again she was frustrated by the darkness in the room.

He read her mind. “Do you know why I won’t let you turn on the light?” he asked as he drew closer.

There was something very dangerous about this dark, faceless Nick, and Jaymee backed away, shaking her head. This was silly. She would not be intimidated. Forcing herself to stand still, she waited as he closed the few steps between them, until he was barely a few inches away.

“Do you feel the difference, Jaymee?” His hands snaked out, gathering her into his arms. His voice was just as dark and dangerous, and she could hear her heart begin to beat faster. “Do you feel this darkness that blankets us? Full of unspoken emotions. Danger, even. And then there’s the sunshine you work in, the hot and bright light in which you happily oversee every detail of your roofs. Up there, the sky’s always open, the breeze hits you in between blasts of heat, and you feel it and you marvel at how a breeze could make you feel so damn great. And if you see any storm clouds coming, you cover up the roof as best you could.” He sighed, and continued, “You can’t see where you’re going in the darkness, Jaymee. You have to rely on instinct, on manipulating every obstacle to your advantage, so you don’t trip over the unexpected. How do I make you understand? Maybe I can show you the difference”

His hands dropped away from her and this time it was he who stood back. The tension between them beat in unison with her heartbeat. Jaymee was very conscious of his anger, his frustration, his desire for her, as they stood facing each other. She had an odd feeling she’d just unleashed the real Nick Langley.

***

Jaymee shivered. She had wanted this, to unmask the mystery of her lover. This dangerous, shadowy figure was still Nick, yet…she sensed she was seeing him for the very first time. Here, in shadows, was the wolf she had always called him, without his disguise. She swallowed. Okay, maybe she should call him Killian right now.

Standing inches away, he didn’t attempt to touch her, but she was more aware than ever before of the idling power he always held back. Somehow, she’d been aware of this side of him, and had resented his self-control enough to constantly try to uncover his disguise. Now she wasn’t so sure whether that was such a great idea. She realized he was waiting for an answer.

Slowly, she reached out and placed both hands on his chest. His heart beat strongly under her palms. She slid them upwards, tracing the outline of his broad shoulders, and brought them down his biceps, feeling his unyielding strength as she massaged the muscles of his forearms. Moving closer, she brushed her body against his as she moved her hands back up his thighs, his sides, and pectorals, to link them behind his neck. She massaged his neck lightly and laid her cheek against his chest. Hot and musky. And totally male.

He may finally have revealed himself, but he was holding on to his control, as was his nature. She understood him better than he thought. He was trying to tell her his world was this maelstrom of darkness, the complete opposite to hers.

Not so opposite.

“There are risks in all aspects of life,” she said, carefully keeping her voice steady. It was difficult when she could feel his hunger for her vibrating like a live wire between them. Taking one of his limp hands, she placed it over her heart, and closed her eyes briefly to savor the feel of his touch. “I’ve been avoiding risks for eight years, until you came along. I came out of my own kind of darkness for you, darling.”