Authors: Julia P. Lynde
"Just Karen and me," I told her.
"Then use the same menu," she said. "And your silly boss
will just have to deal with it. Do you need help?"
"No, but I might call you while I'm cooking."
She laughed. "I'll keep my cell phone handy."
"Thanks, Mom." I paused. "This is a very strange job. I feel like she's trying to turn me into June Cleaver, and that is so not me."
"You have always been able to do anything you set your mind to. This is no different than all the strange things you did for Marsha."
* * *
I spent the early part of the week finishing Karen's Christmas shopping, buying the last few presents I needed at the same time. I practiced making breads the rest of the week. By Friday I was pretty pleased with the results. I baked more
krumkake
and took care of last minute planning for the dinner party.
I didn't sleep very well Friday night. I had never cooked for a dinner party before, and for some reason, I wanted Karen to be proud of me. I did the last minute grocery shopping in the morning. The bird was in the oven at two. Throughout the afternoon I took care of the other needs.
I had a window of time at four thirty to get ready. I took my time
to look nice, then went downstairs and put on an apron over the dress.
Karen was still upstairs getting ready when her first guest arrived. I opened the door to be met by Sally and Loraine. We shared introductions and I immediately drafted them to man the door and take drink orders. I headed back to the kitchen and ignored the bustle after that.
The other two couples arrived before Karen appeared. Loraine brought both of them to the kitchen to meet me. First were Steven and Sue.
After that were Ursula and Irina, who spoke with Russian accents.
I received hugs from everyone and compliments on the house, how wonderful everything smelled, and they'd already be
en
diving into the cookies and
krumkake
I had set up around the house.
Karen appeared and apologized. She looked stunning. I looked harried, I was sure. I asked her to bring me a glass of wine, and when she did, offered her a cheek to kiss.
The meal was timed for six thirty. I drafted help for the last several minutes. Sue carved the bird. Ursula and Irina moved things into serving bowls and brought them to the table. I made the gravy and watched Ursula whisk it out to the dining room. Then I checked my list and looked throughout the kitchen to make sure I hadn't left something left hiding somewhere. I took my list to the dining room and scanned the contents of the table.
Everything was there and looked good.
I took off the apron, fluffed at my hair for a moment,
then
took my place at the dining room table. I was on the end closest to the kitchen.
Everyone passed the food around. I received compliments, which were nice to hear.
"I was expecting delivered pizza," Sue said a minute or two into the meal
. "Madeline, this is fabulous."
Karen mouthed from the other end of the table, "thank you."
I nodded to her.
The meal went well. I largely kept my thoughts to myself. Karen tried twice to draw me into the conversation, but I was emotionally exhausted and managed to extricate myself from her attempts after a moment or two.
I cleaned up while everyone else was enjoying after dinner drinks. Karen came into the kitchen, took one look at me, and asked me quietly, "Are you all right."
I turned to her and wrapped myself in her arms, laying my head on her shoulder. She held me.
"Was it okay?" I asked her. "It wasn't fancy."
"Oh honey," she said. "It was all perfect. What is wrong?"
"I'll be okay in a minute," I replied. "Please just hold me."
I drew energy from her then pulled away. "I'm okay," I told her.
"Just being a silly girl." I turned back to the counter, wrapping up more of the leftovers. Karen stepped closer to me and wrapped her arms around me. I leaned back, resting my head against her shoulder.
Sue and Loraine wandered into the kitchen and saw Karen and I standing there. They walked up on either side of us. I saw Loraine look around the kitchen, then look at me.
"You two," she said. "Go collapse on the sofa. We'll put everything away."
"No, no," I said. "I'm okay."
"Honey," Sue said, looking into my eyes. "I get the same way at the end of dinner parties. All that preparation and emotional energy." She glared at Karen for a moment. "I make Steve handle everything the moment the food is on the table. Loraine and I will take care of this. You have earned the right to relax for the rest of the night."
I rotated in Karen's arms and put my arms around her neck. "Who else tangos?"
"Wait!" said Loraine. "You've got Karen dancing again?"
I looked over at her and nodded.
"You two go sit. We'll clean up. Then we'll all go downstairs," Sue ordered.
"You heard them, Madeline," Karen said, smiling at me. "Come on." She took my hand and pulled me to the sofa in the living room. She sat down at the end and I curled up into her. We had a moment alone. Karen kissed the top of my head. "Are you just being in character?" she asked quietly.
I looked up at her. "No. I'm sorry." I started to move away but she grabbed me and asked me to stay right where I was. I looked down but snuggled in a little further. "You feel nice, Karen."
She did. I didn't understand my feelings.
She was a pain in the ass, but pleasing her made me feel so good. Being held by her felt so good, too. I didn't realize I had such a need to be appreciated. I thought back to my time with Marsha and realized I had thrived under her for the same reasons. She'd been exceedingly demanding and equally effusive with her praise when I had pleased her.
"Karen," I said. "I think I'm a junkie."
"What?" She looked at me. "You're on drugs?"
I smiled. "A praise junkie."
She laughed. "There's nothing wrong with that."
The rest of the dinner party wandered into the room and took seats. Ursula and Irina were each carrying extra wine glasses:
mine and Karen's
. They handed us our glasses and took seats. Sue and Loraine finished cleaning up, which I greatly appreciated, then joined us.
"All right," Sue said. "What's the story with you two?"
"Nothing special," I replied. "She refused to hire me as her personal assistant, then invited me to lunch."
"She was just so damned hot," Karen said. "I took one look at her and knew I wanted her."
"I thought she was stunning," I said.
"You did?" Karen asked.
"Don't be coy." I smiled at her. "But, well. I didn't think she was my type. She invited me for an expensive lunch and I thought maybe she would have contacts for me. So reluctantly I said 'yes'.
I only flirt with her so she'll help me find a job.
"
"And because I dance with you," she said, squeezing me a little as she said it.
"And because you're a good kisser," I said, looking up at her.
The banter flowed around the room for several minutes before Loraine said, "So, about that dancing?"
I didn't need to be asked twice. Everyone filed downstairs. "Everyone tangos?"
"Um," said Sue.
"Jessica gave them lessons," Karen said. "Can you lead, Madeline?"
Karen put some music on. Steve took his wife, Sue, into his arms. Karen asked Sally. Ursula led for Irina, and I invited Loraine to dance. I led.
Everyone was basically a beginner, but that was okay. Loraine had a proper stance, and she followed when I weight shifted. She was okay with walks, but I lost her when I introduced some musicality, varying the tempo of the steps based on what the music was done.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"It's okay," I told her. "
You feel nice to hold."
I kept things simple. She could back
ocho
but didn't recognize any other moves I offered. So I kept it simple and focused on being the best lead I could. By the end of the song she settled in and felt comfortable. We danced two songs,
then
I switched partners with Karen.
I danced twice with Sally. She was stiffer than Loraine had been. "What is the real story with you and Karen?" she asked me halfway through the dance.
"I don't understand what you're asking."
"You're too amazing to put up with her shit," she said.
"I don't like not knowing when to expect her home," I said. "But otherwise she treats me well. I am reluctantly between jobs, so right now I have some flexibility. But I don't want to remain a kept woman forever. I don't know if the relationship will last after I find a job."
"I hope you'll forgive me if I hope that is a very long time."
"My plan for networking through her friends isn't going to work?"
"No."
I sighed. "If you relax and try to enjoy dancing with me, I'll forgive you."
I finished two songs with Sally. Karen turned the music off. I turned to her. "That's all?"
"Well," said Karen.
I put a hand on a hip. "I slaved for days. I want more than four songs."
Karen mimicked my posture. "And we want a lesson. You'll get what you want if we get what we want."
I laughed. "Seriously?" She nodded.
I thought about it. "All right. Karen, you're a better lead than I am. I don't know if I can teach you anything."
"You can teach me to actually lead a
molinete
."
"All right," I said. "Let's show everyone what it is." I pulled her to the center of the room, stepped into her arms, and then said into her ear, "Slow steps then do a forward and back, I'll self lead it."
She stepped left, right, left, then her right step was backwards. I stepped forward with that but across her so that I danced a circle around her. Forward, side, back, side, until I'd walked all the way around her.
After that I made everyone work on the basic step pattern: forward, side, back, side, working in a straight line across the room and back. Then I grabbed
each person and led them
into a
molinete
with me leading. Steve laughed at being made to follow, but he did it. It felt weird to hold Karen that way, but it was nice, too.
We spent a half hour on it. They had it down after a fashion, and Karen was leading it a lot better, before I told them, "Now I want you to add it into your dances. It's best done in the corners. So at least once around the room, do a
molinete
. For now, it's okay if you tell you're partner that's what you want, but work on leading it properly."
Then I turned to Ursula and asked her to dance.
She asked if she could follow.
We danced for another two hours. I followed with Steve and Karen but led with everyone else. I had never led that much before and decided I enjoyed it.
We eventually moved back upstairs. I curled into Karen again, her arm around me. By eleven, people started heading home, and our last guest was gone shortly before midnight.
"Damned early
milonga
," I said as we closed the door after our last guest. I took Karen's hand and pulled her back to the sofa. She looked confused but sat back down in her place, and I curled under her arm again. "Is this okay?"
"Yes, it's okay," she said. "You were amazing again tonight."
"Loraine told me something troubling," I said after we had cuddled for a few minutes. "She told me I shouldn't expect any of your friends to refer any work to me." Karen didn't respond. "I was hoping to lean on your contacts."
Karen still didn't respond.
I looked up at her. She was pointedly not looking at me. "Oh hell," I said. "You're hoping I don't find a job." I pulled away from her. She seemed reluctant to let me go. "I deserve honesty on this, Karen."
She looked over at me. "I would hire you myself if I could," she said. "Although I suspect you would eventually sue me for sexual harassment."
I laughed. "I don't mind your arms around me, Karen. You feel nice. You can sexually harass me all you want."
She smiled.
"Are you doing anything to discourage my job search?"
"Actually, I think you're going to have a flurry of interviews in January. I've already told two people they can't have you until after January second."
"Really?"
She nodded.
"If you find a job without me, you are of course free to interview as much as you need. But I told my contacts no interviews until January."
I searched her face. "All right," I said. "That's fair." And I slid back across the sofa and moved under her arm again.
I cuddled into her warmth, and we talked quietly for another half hour, the conversation growing quieter and quieter.