Holiday Treasure (Billionaire Bachelors - Book 10) (9 page)

Chapter Eighteen

S
adness weighed heavily
on Tanner’s shoulders, but as he walked into the apartment complex with Kyla at his side, he tried to shake it off. The boy had nothing to do with him and shouldn’t influence his moods, but twice now he had seen fear and pain in Billy’s eyes and he didn’t think it would be all that easy to forget about this kid.

“Can I come to your apartment? I don’t want to be alone.”

Kyla had whispered those words from her beautiful lips, but they came across so loud and clear that she might as well have shouted them. And they stopped Tanner in his tracks. As her hand clung to his arm, and her body leaned into his, he knew what she was saying, what she was offering.

He also knew it would be wrong for him to take advantage of this situation. She was afraid of the dark, for goodness sake, and even worse, her emotions were frayed because of poor little Billy. He would be the lowest of low if he took her to his bed tonight.

But the thought of doing just that had him instantly forgetting his worries about the building, about the child, about everything bad in his life. Two soft sentences from Kyla and it was taking all his restraint to keep from picking her up in his arms and leading her straight to her bed.

“Why don’t we go to your place, Kyla, and I can stay with you until you fall asleep?” He really wanted to punch himself in the mouth for even offering such a thing, but what else could he say if he hoped to be able to live with himself after he left this building for good.

“I don’t want to be in my place. I don’t want you to leave me alone,” she told him, her body trembling against his.

He sent up a silent prayer for strength.

“I won’t leave you, then.” The words had barely made it past his teeth and he was close to shaking himself.

“I just need to grab a few things, Tanner, and then we can go to your place.” She didn’t release his arm.

“You really don’t want to stay in your apartment tonight, do you?” What were her motives? If he was there with her, she wouldn’t be alone. “Anyway, I wouldn’t leave you.”

“Oh, I think you’ll leave. But that’s not the point right now.”

Well, that was honest enough. And she was probably right. He was a man, and he had only so much willpower. He was glad he hadn’t said that out loud. He sounded like a creep even in his own head.

But what could he do? He followed her silently into her apartment. She pulled him to her room and grabbed a few items from her dresser, and then moved back toward her front door.

Tanner was so nervous now that he fumbled with his keys, but he somehow managed to get his apartment door open, and when he headed in, Kyla was still locked against him, so they had to turn sideways to get through.

“I’m not going to leave you — I promise,” he said when she still didn’t release him.

She let out a nervous chuckle, and she finally loosened her tight grip on him and then dropped her hand. “I’m sorry, Tanner. It’s just been a really bad night.”

He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. “Don’t ever apologize for needing someone,” he said as he held her close for several moments.

After leading her to the couch, he left her with a flashlight while he dug for candles, thankful his assistant thought of everything. Yep, Randy was definitely getting that raise now.

The emergency candles cast a strong enough light in the room that Tanner was able to turn off his flashlight without making Kyla more nervous than she already was.

“I put a candle in the bathroom and one in the bedroom so you can move around the apartment without freaking out,” he said as he joined her on the couch.

“I know that to be afraid of the dark at my age is ridiculous, but my fear is what it is,” she told him, and she snuggled against him.

“I think you’re charming, Kyla. You know that no one is perfect, right? No one. Promise not to tell anyone, but even
I’m
not perfect,” he said with a chuckle.

She relaxed into his side, and Tanner felt his body instantly harden. No! He tried to control himself, tried telling himself that just because she needed him to comfort her did not give him the right to take unfair advantage.

But here was the thing. Tanner was feeling just as raw as Kyla was and he would love to sink deep inside her heat, love to lose himself inside her for a few sweet hours. He would love to think of nothing beyond the needs of his body and hers, and he’d love to not be reminded how dark the world could actually be.

How was he able to keep from sliding his hands around her and cupping her breasts? Damned if he knew. He simply held her and didn’t even think about the time he was wasting doing absolutely nothing.

“Tanner?”

He tensed at the breathless quality of her voice. Everything about this woman screamed “Take me.” and he
wanted
to take her.

“Yes?”

“I’m really tired now.”

His heart thudded in his chest. She hadn’t asked him to make love to her. She’d simply said she was tired. She’d also said she didn’t want to be alone. Just because she didn’t want to sleep alone didn’t guarantee he was going to get sex. It most likely meant that she was going to sleep and he was going to hold her. And he’d be throbbing the whole time.

“Do you want to go to bed?” He barely recognized his own voice.

She was silent for a few heart-stopping moments. “Yes.” Her voice was almost inaudible, but not to him. “I need to use your bathroom first. I feel filthy.”

“There’s no hot water,” he reminded her.

“I know. But if you have a washcloth…”

“I can get that for you.”

Tanner untangled himself from her arms and then moved to the bathroom, where he laid out a towel and washcloth and picked up the dirty underwear he’d flung in the corner earlier in the day. In his defense, he told himself, he hadn’t been expecting a guest.

“The bathroom is ready,” he said, making her jump. “Sorry.”

“I’m sorry, Tanner. I just…” Again she stopped, and then her sweet lips turned up a fraction of an inch and she stood up and walked toward him. “Thank you. Really. You are too good to me and I don’t know why, but you are.”

She took his breath away when she leaned against him and brushed her lips lightly across his. Before he was able to grab her, pull her tightly against him and lose complete control, she stepped back and then walked into the bathroom.

He nearly had a stroke when she left the bathroom door open a few inches and he could see her shadow flickering on the wall. Moving quickly away from the temptation — he wasn’t a Peeping Tom, dammit — he headed to his bedroom and decided to light another candle. Then he found himself sitting on the edge of the bed.

Should he change? Climb beneath the covers? What was she expecting from him? What was he expecting from himself?

It was cold in his apartment, but as he listened to the sound of water running in his bathroom, he felt a nervous sweat break out on his skin because he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to be strong enough to last with her beside him all night.

When what felt like an hour passed, but was probably just five or ten minutes, he almost jumped at the sound of his own voice. “Are you okay in there?”

When there wasn’t an answer, he stood up, moved toward the bathroom door and tapped on it. “Kyla, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Give me another minute” came her reply and he could hear her nerves loud and clear. They were definitely both feeling the sizzling atmosphere.

Why was he nervous? Why should either of them be nervous? They were adults. They weren’t virgins. Sex was natural, it was needed, it was the one true thing that really made the world go round. So if the two of them burned the sheets to help keep them warm and to make the despair of the night disappear, there was nothing wrong with that.

But were they rushing this? Hell, no. He’d been wanting her in his bed since he met her nearly three weeks ago. It was long overdue — if anyone cared to ask him. So why in the world was he so antsy? He was never nervous about having sex. And if they didn’t have sex, he wouldn’t perish.

Well, maybe he would.

The candlelight flickered softly, casting a warm glow about the cold room. It was the perfect scene for a night of hot sex. Plus, hadn’t someone once told him women preferred candlelight because it made everything seem so much more beautiful, hid flaws and all of that? Not that Kyla had a single flaw on her perfect body. Again, he had to remind himself that she’d just asked not to be alone. She hadn’t asked for him to make love to her. A groan of frustration barely missed escaping his throat.

When the creaking of the bathroom door alerted Tanner that she was emerging, he looked up and watched her shadow approach before she made it into the bedroom.

“Wow, this is…beautiful,” she said, her voice trembling, her nerves obvious.

“The power is out. We needed more light than we had at first.” Sheesh. Talk about belaboring the obvious… Would he win an award for Lame Response of the Year? And why was he in this pathetic state?

“Yeah, I know, but it’s still beautiful. I’m sort of enjoying the fact that the power is out right now.”

She shifted awkwardly. Maybe not all men would find her stunningly beautiful in a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt, but right now, he couldn’t imagine a more perfect woman.

Maybe if they were back at his penthouse suite, she would have emerged in a lace teddy with scented oils caressing her skin, but they were in this dive apartment complex, and he just didn’t care. All he cared about was that soon she would be lying next to him. Or on top of him. Hmm…

“Maybe I’m being too irrational, and maybe staying wasn’t the smartest idea. I…uh…I’m...” She trailed off and Tanner found himself not being able to breathe, let alone speak. “I mean, I’m a big girl. If I get this frightened of the dark, there’s a real problem.” She didn’t look him in the eyes as she shifted on her feet again.

Oh, heck no. He wasn’t going to let her leave. With two quick strides, he was right there in front of her; he pulled her to him and felt the shiver travel down her spine. The last thing he wanted was to let her go, even if that meant a night of suffering for him. Tanner was surprised that he would be willing to do nothing more than hold her. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try to convince her the two of them could make a hell of a lot of magic if their bodies came together though.

Bending down so his words were a warm breath on her neck, he murmured, “We can keep each other warm.”

“I’m scared, Tanner.”

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” He just hoped she’d want to do it
all
. Yes, he would probably end up with permanent damage to what he had beneath the belt, if he’d been wearing one, but she was worth it. And his pain was worth being able to hold her close.

“Are you sure?”

He suddenly had a terrifying thought. “You’re…um…not a virgin, are you?”

That made her head come up and she finally looked in his eyes before smiling ruefully. “No. But, to be honest, I’m not very experienced…at all.”

“That’s okay,” he said, relief filling him. The longest this could last was one more week, and he didn’t want to be responsible for taking her innocence. When he left this building, he wasn’t taking anything with him, especially not another person.

So if they made love tonight, that’s all she would get — his body, not his mind, his soul, or his love. He needed to tell her this, but the words were trapped in his throat. This was new. He’d never before had difficulty letting a woman know that he could only give her sex, nothing more. But what if the natural light that shone from her eyes dried up? What if he did take her body and then left her empty? Could he live with that?

She cupped his cheek with a gentle hand and leaned forward, kissing him softly before stepping back. She was lighting him on fire. Who needed a freaking furnace? Without another word, he took her hand and led her to the bed.

“Are you trying to seduce me, Tanner?” she asked with a nervous smile.

“Yes.” Why should he lie?

“It may be working,” she said, then gave him a look that had his breath rushing from him in excitement.

“Lie down,” he almost gasped.

She hesitated only a moment before stretching out on his bed a bit stiffly, her clothes still in place. Tanner picked up the oil he had on the nightstand and rubbed some into his hands to warm it up, and he joined her on the bed.

Sliding his hands beneath the hem of her sweatshirt, he caressed the silk skin of her back — or was it satin? — and when he heard her involuntary moan of approval, his body went from merely ready for action to pulsing, and it took only an instant.

“Are you warm enough?” he asked as his hand moved farther up, pushing up the sweatshirt and exposing her lower back to him. He wanted to see more.

“Yes,” she sighed.

Taking a handful of the stupid shirt, he began tugging it upward in earnest, holding his breath, hoping she wouldn’t stop him. She lifted her body, making it easier for him to get the material over her head. Then she lay back down, her back to him. Unclasping her bra, he drew the straps down her arms, realizing that his fingers were trembling.

She said nothing as he pulled the lacy material free and tossed it aside. Adding more oil to his hands, he ran his fingers across her back and sides, kneading her muscles as she gave him gasps of pleasure in return.

“Your skin is flawless,” he told her.

“Mmm…your hands are magic,” she replied, making him smile.

After devoting a good amount of time to her back, he reached into the waistband of her sweatpants and began slowly helping her out of them. Her body tensed, but only for a moment, and then she relaxed again as his hands glided down her legs.

As she lay naked before him, her sweet buttocks looking up at him, Tanner wanted nothing more than to strip off his own clothes, turn her over onto her back, and then plunge deep within her heat. But tonight was about seduction, and it was about pleasure. There was no hurry. He refused to shortchange either of them.

The glow from the candles cast shadows on her skin as he ran his hands over every inch of her. Shivers traveled down her body.