Home Fires (22 page)

Hearing his story would be torture, but
not
hearing would be worse. Rose swallowed hard. The lump in her throat was back. “I think you need to tell me about Katie.”

It hurt to speak his wife’s name aloud. Even more painful was to see the look of anguish on his face, to know she’d put it there. Rose watched him fight his personal demons and her heart went out to him. It ached even further as she read the truth in his eyes.

He was still in love with Katie. But he also was in love with her.

“Is there someplace we can sit down and talk?” His jaw quivered slightly as he glanced down the street, the direction from which they’d come and the Gilbert family home.

“James Bay Elementary isn’t far.”

“Let’s go.” He reached over and took her head. Together they stepped off the curb and crossed the street.

The school sprawled out before them another block up the street. Rose looked around the playground. Once upon a time there’d been some benches here, but they were gone. Even the teeter-totters had been removed, perhaps for the summer season. The playground was an empty oasis of sand and swings swaying in the hot breeze.

Rose pointed to the heavy rubber swings. “How about those?”

She kicked off her sandals as her feet hit the sand. Rose sank down on one swing and tested it out, cautiously swaying back and forth. Mike finally joined her, taking a seat on the swing beside her. His long jean-clad legs splayed out before him as he warily scanned the heavy metal chains on both his swing and hers.

“Don’t worry,” she said, “they look solid enough.” Rose scrunched her toes in the warm sand and twirled idly. Perhaps the playground had been a good idea after all. Maybe all Mike needed was time to relax—

“She had the prettiest eyes,” he said abruptly. “Sparkling brown eyes that were always smiling. And curly brown hair. She was kind of chunky, always worried about her weight. I met her in the hospital. She was a nurse working in the E.R. unit. I got a little banged up during a fire run. Katie’s face was the first thing I saw when they flushed the soot out of my eyes.”

Mike’s voice caressed each word as he spoke, as if he was holding his wife in his arms. Though she knew he was telling the story solely for her, Rose fought against the sudden impulse to stop him. She felt like a voyeur, as if she were eavesdropping on intimate matters meant only to be shared between a husband and wife.

“We got married right away. Both of us knew what we wanted and we figured there was no point in wasting time. It wasn’t a big wedding or anything like that. Katie’s parents and mine helped us out. We bought a house. I worked as much as I could, grabbing any overtime I could get. Katie had worked the E.R. for years. After we got married, she took the night shift. It brought in more money. It was a good year. We were happy. Especially the day we found out Katie was going to have a baby.”

Both of them had stopped swinging. Rose sat scrunching her toes in the sand, quietly listening as Mike’s story unfolded.

“Being pregnant wasn’t easy on her. Katie wasn’t very big, and her feet swelled up a lot. The doctor was worried about gestational diabetes. He kept telling her to cut back on working so hard. The E.R. is a busy place, especially at night. I tried to talk her into taking time off, but she insisted. She said she was going to work as long as she could, right up until the baby was born. Finally, I convinced her to switch to the day shift.”

Rose chanced a peek at his face. Mike’s jaw was clenched tight, his eyes boring a deep hole in the sand beneath his feet. He seemed lost in a trance, lost in the memory of a two-year-old nightmare.

“They told me she was laughing when she left work that night. She was talking about the dinner she was going to make for me. Why she stopped for ice cream, I’ll never know. She must have been tired. It was past seven o’clock and she’d already worked a full twelve-hour shift.” He spoke rapidly, shooting his words in no particular direction. “You know what they say about pregnant women, how you can’t talk them out of anything once they get that craving. There was a convenience store right around the block from the hospital. That’s where she stopped. That’s where it happened. She made it out of the car and to the front door—”

“Mike, it’s okay. You don’t need to tell me.” Rose reached over and gripped his hand tight, bridging the gap between their two swings. The words sounded hollow and lame to her ears, but what did you say when the man you loved was still in love with another woman?

“He shot her as she opened the door,” Mike said. “Some guy, high on drugs. He’d just robbed the place and he was trying to get out. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Katie went in for ice cream and instead she got a bullet. “

Rose brushed away the tears with a quick swipe of her hand and searched her pockets for a tissue. The tears in his own eyes were breaking her heart.

“We had some life insurance on Katie.” He took the tissue she offered and clutched it in his fist. “I paid off the house and gave some money to her parents. They’re good people and even though they didn’t have much, they’d helped us out when we needed it. I thought they deserved something. After all, they lost Katie, too.”

She swallowed hard. His generosity and compassion came as no surprise. It was so like Mike, putting others first even after everything he himself had been through.

“What about the man who…” God, she couldn’t bring herself to say the words. The last thing she wanted was to watch Mike’s face crumble and his tears start again.

“You mean the guy who killed her?” Quietly he finished the sentence for her. “They got him, all right. But he wasn’t some skid-row bum. His family had money and his parents bought him a deal.”

Rose inhaled sharply. “He got off without doing time?”

“He was in prison, but not for long. The attorneys got together and plea bargained a reduced sentence without consulting us.” He slowly shook his head. “Katie’s gone forever, but the man who killed her only served one year.”

Rose sat silently on the rubber swing. No wonder Mike had issues with attorneys. When it came to the issue of lawyers with questionable ethics, members of the Bar looked the other way. No one wanted to get involved unless someone made it personal.

“I tried staying put at first, after Katie… well, after the accident. But it was no good. Everywhere I looked, everything I touched, reminded me of her.” Mike shot her a vacant smile. “When I heard about the job opening up here, I snatched at it fast. Once I got hired, I sold the house and headed north.”

Things finally made sense. Katie’s life insurance and the sale of their Detroit home had bankrolled the lakeside cabin, the new pickup, the expensive fishing boat. Mike had some nice things, but they’d been bought at an enormous price.

“Terry calls what I did
taking the geographic cure
. He told me moving away wouldn’t solve my problems. It’s taken me awhile to admit he was right.” Mike shrugged. “Guess I had to figure things out for myself. You can’t escape yourself, no matter how far or fast you run. The problems will always be there, no matter where you go. Eventually the only thing left is to give in and face them.”

Rose felt silent.
A geographic cure
. Is that what she had done? She’d left home and turned her back on James Bay and on all the dreams she and Jeff had once shared. Mike’s words produced a quick, sudden stirring in her heart, a strange guilty longing for that which had been and would never be. Jeff was dead and he wasn’t coming back. She’d run away from the truth.

A geographic cure
was
exactly
what she had done.

“I used to love the city,” he said, “but not anymore. That kind of life isn’t for me. I’m happy here and I’m never going back.”

Her mouth felt dry as the sand beneath her feet. If Mike was done with city living, where did that leave her?

“When I first came north, I was hurting,” he continued. “Maybe I still am, in a way. But things are different now.”

“Different how?” she finally asked.

“I feel more like myself again. I’ve got a nice little house. It’s small, but it feels right for me. I can walk out to the end of my dock, do some fishing, do a little hunting. It’s a great life. And the best part is, I’m living up north and getting paid to do what I love most. Fighting fires.”

The mention of fire seemed to sober him slightly. “Though I could do without people like that Charles Kendall guy and his newspaper revving things up. But that goes with the territory. For the most part, I’m happy again. Especially these past few weeks. I’ve got you to thank for that.” He turned to face her squarely. “Did you ever think about practicing law here?”

“You mean, in James Bay? Coming home?”

“Why not?”

Tiny flames of apprehension licked around the edges of her heart. After everything Mike had been through, this town must seem like paradise. But she had grown up living in paradise. If you weren’t careful, the walls could dissolve into a living hell.

She scrunched her toes deep in the sand. It was time to confess. Mike had been honest with her and opened his heart about Katie. He deserved to know about the job offers she was considering. He deserved no less than the truth.

“Mike, there’s something you need to know.”

He was quiet for some moments after she finished. “Why didn’t you tell me before this?” he finally asked.

Rose flushed. Why hadn’t she told him? Possible answers seeped through her mind, curling like wisps of smoke around an evasive strategy. But her dad had always told her that when you were in the heat of things, the best tactic was to tell the truth. “I was afraid,” she admitted. “Afraid of what you would say. Attorneys can be an arrogant bunch, trying to outdo each other, talking about their great careers and how much money they make. I didn’t want you thinking that about me. I didn’t want you to think I was bragging.”

He took her hand and squeezed hard. “That’s not you, Rosie. You could never be like that.”

Why did he think she was such a saint? Mike had no clue who she really was, how polished and sharp, how professional her job required her to be. She didn’t dare let down her guard, not even for a minute. Everyone in her profession was always looking for an edge, anything that would help them achieve the desired result for their client. She was no different. The law didn’t award points for people who were patient, gentle, and kind.

“Have you decided what you’re going to do?”

She shook her head. “The firm expects me back as soon as my family leave is over. I’ve managed to put off Andy for now, but I have to give him an answer soon.”

“What about this guy?” Mike’s voice strained in quiet intensity. “It sounds like he’s in love with you.”

“I don’t feel the same about him,” Rose quickly replied. “Andy is pretty hardheaded. He’s used to getting what he wants. But If I accept the position in Washington, he’ll have to understand his feelings aren’t returned.”

“So you are thinking about taking his offer?”

“I haven’t ruled it out.” She wouldn’t lie to him. That wouldn’t be fair.

“What about coming home?” he asked in a low voice. “The Judge offered you a partnership, too. You could practice law right here in town.”

Rose stared at the sand beneath her feet. The longing in Mike’s voice pulled at her heartstrings. She didn’t dare look at him. She knew exactly what she would see. A silent, impassioned plea on his face, in his eyes, imploring her to stay.

“I haven’t decided what I’m going to do,” she finally replied. “I don’t want to disappoint anyone. Especially my mother.”

“Want to know what I think?”

Rose flashed him a quick smile. It wasn’t difficult to guess what he’d say. “That I shouldn’t disappoint my mother. That I shouldn’t disappoint the Judge.”

“Nope.” Mike shook his head. “Remember what I told you before?
Don’t should on yourself
. Your mom and the Judge are important, but they aren’t who you really need to be thinking about right now.”

Rose hesitated. “I’m not sure what you mean.” If she shouldn’t consider her mother or the Judge, then who was left?

“Don’t disappoint yourself.” Mike leaned across the swings and cradled her face between his two hands. “I think what you need to do is ask yourself one simple question:
what does Rosie want
?”

She shivered in spite of the summer heat. She knew the answer he hoped to hear, but she couldn’t give it to him. Choosing Mike meant choosing home, and practicing law with the Judge. Was she prepared to make that decision?

No matter which choice she made, someone would be disappointed. Why did life’s decisions have to be so hard?

“It’s not that simple.” She broke from his touch and forced herself to a stand. The hot sand burned her toes and she headed for the cool grass and her sandals. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

In one quick leap, he was off the swing and caught her in his arms. The wild pounding of his heart matched the furious racing of her own. “Listen to me, Rosie.”

She closed her eyes, listening to the sound of his voice whisper soft against her ear, caressing her name. “I’m trying my best to figure things out. Please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“Listen to your heart,” he murmured. “That’s where you’ll find the answers you need.”

His mouth sought out her own. Their lips touched and opened, gently seeking that which the other craved. Rose leaned against the warm masculine scent that was him. His kisses left her breathless, wanting more, needing more. Dear God, would staying home be such a bad thing?

“Come on,” he said hoarsely after a moment, loosening his hold on her. “We’d better get out of here before things go too far.”

There was silence between them as they started for home. Mike had never had been part of her future plans—but neither was a return to James Bay. Only one decision would satisfy Mike. Accept the Judge’s offer and move back home for good. Mike had already told her he was staying put. If she continued with the firm or moved to Washington D.C., their relationship would be good as dead.

George’s car was still in the driveway as they neared the house. Rose cast a wary glance at another car, brand-new, parked along the curb. More company?