Home Truths (28 page)

Jennifer could almost feel her heart crack. She stood in the ruins of the evening, blinking back her emotions as the door closed quietly. Like a heavy cloak, utter silence settled around her.

She glanced back at Bret and saw the same sad expression she'd seen on his face so many times over the years. Every time their mother had berated him for yet another stuff-up, and now she'd done it to him as well. She'd also lost Calum and his respect. Damn, she'd been such an idiot.

She knew exactly why her mouth trembled.

Chapter 15

After Bret had eaten a ham and cheese sandwich, Jennifer ushered him into their uncle's bedroom. He could barely keep his eyes open.

‘Night, sis,' he said wearily. He flopped fully clothed onto the bed. ‘Gee, it's good to see you again.' He gave her a sad smile. ‘Even if you do growl a lot.'

Remorse burned inside Jennifer. She knew why Bret behaved the way he did. There was no way she could justify what she'd said. She wiped the tears from her face and pulled off his shoes. She covered him with a blanket, and kissed his forehead.

‘You deserve an apology for what I said earlier.' So he wouldn't look away, she held his chin with her thumb and forefinger. ‘Yes, you're a little shit, and you need to change the way you live for your own sake,
and
for those who love you. And so far I haven't shown you that I love you. I've done a lot of complaining, but not much else. What I said was horrible. It's what Mother did all the time. It won't happen again, Bret, I promise. Sofie, Claudia and I, we all love you.'

Bret nodded. ‘Calum's a good bloke, you can trust him.'

‘Go to sleep.' She kissed him again and headed back to the kitchen, where she made a cup of tea and rang her sister. Sofie sounded strained when she answered.

‘Just ignore my tone,' she said. ‘And the background commentary of our menopausal mother, who's given up waxing and taken up yoga.'

‘Hi Sofe,' Jennifer said through sniffles. ‘About Mother, you are kidding, right?'

‘What's wrong?' Sofie asked.

‘I've just alienated the best man I've ever known, that's all,' Jennifer answered. ‘Bret turned up —'

‘Thank goodness,' Sofie sighed.

Jennifer could almost picture her sister's relieved slump.

‘Hang on a sec,' Sofie added. ‘He's not in hospital with broken legs?'

‘No, he turned up at the restaurant door, scared and exhausted, but otherwise fine. He's asleep in Bob's bed.' A lump thickened in Jennifer's throat. She fell silent.

‘Hey Jen, where does Calum come into this? Why are you blubbering — are you all right? Did they do something to you? Did something happen to Calum? Talk to me, Jen, I'm hyperventilating here.'

‘I'm fine, not a scratch.'

Sofie gasped. ‘You met the thugs — did they break in?'

Jennifer wished she could reach down the line and grab her sister by the hair. She took a deep breath. ‘Calum gave them six thousand dollars.'

‘But that's great! When probate comes through we can pay him back, not a problem. What a lovely man.'

‘Yes…probably. He won't take the money though. He's done a deal with Bret, on a handshake. I more or less said this mess with the goons will blow through town faster than a blink and reflect on us, we'll be tarred with the same brush. I cared more about my image, and how it would affect my life, than our brother's well-being.' Jennifer wedged the phone to her ear while she blew her nose.

‘I don't believe that for a minute,' Sofie insisted.

‘All my life I've striven not to be like our parents, then when it matters most, it all comes out like sour vomit,
bluuugh!'

‘Eeewh, Jen!
That's gross. Are you purged now?' Sofie giggled.

‘Is that our Jen?' Their mother cut in. Her shrill voice could've shattered glass.

‘She doesn't give me a moment's peace,' Sofie whispered.

‘I live in hope — but you were kidding about the waxing and yoga?'

‘Yes, of course. Can you imagine Mum with a hair somewhere it shouldn't be?'

‘She's just trying to ingratiate herself so she can get her hands on some of Uncle Bob's money. For our uncle's sake, we can't let that happen. Don't let her get to you, Sofe.' Jennifer poured boiling water into a mug and jiggled the tea bag.

‘Who are you talking to, Sofie luv?' their mother called out in the background.

‘Don't tell Mother it's me,' Jennifer whispered.

‘It's another teacher,' Sofie yelled without bothering to cover the mouthpiece.

‘If you're going to keep interrupting, Gran,' Claudia hollered, ‘Mum's going outside!'

Give me strength,
Jennifer thought, heaping an extra spoon of sugar into her mug.

‘So, when are you seeing Calum again?' Sofie sounded out of breath.

‘What's wrong with you? You sound weird,' Jennifer asked.

‘I'm walking outside and talking to an idiot at the same time,' Sofie said.

‘Okay, but listen, there's so much I should've done…' Jennifer trailed off.

‘What're you talking about now? Come on, give.'

Jennifer did her best to keep her emotions in check. ‘I'm feeling horrible because I should've been there for Bret. If I'd taken up the reins after Gran died, he mightn't have resorted to this kind of life. And I should've been there for you and Claudia —'

‘Hang on a minute there,' Sofie cut in.

‘Shut up, Sofe, this is my moment. I'm making a huge leap forward with a confession. Don't interrupt. I
should've
been there for you both when whatsisname Jett took off with Ms Wannabe and had twins. Offering you a trip to Italy was just a cop-out. I'm so sorry, Sofie. I hope you can forgive me.'

‘Stop it,' Sofie cried out. ‘I love you. I mean, jeez, you had a career to think about. I understand, I really do. Honestly, Jen — is that all?'

‘I think so,' Jennifer muttered miserably.

‘If Calum loves you, Jen, you'll work it out. So what happens now?'

‘Calum's taking Bret to his farm early tomorrow morning to work off his debt.'

‘Brilliant, ingenious. Maybe Bret will learn something.'

‘I'll have another word to Calum when he drops by.'

‘The only word you should use is “sorry”.'

‘I will. Night, sis.' Jennifer shut her phone and crawled into bed.

* * *

Jennifer gazed out of the upstairs kitchen window, her mind wrestling with her conscience. She lost herself in the beautiful vine-covered slopes rich with autumn colours. Behind her, the espresso coffee maker bubbled on the gas burner, signalling it was ready. She turned away from the tranquil scene and was pouring herself a cup of coffee when she heard the back door open. She strode to the landing and peered over the rail. Calum looked up, freshly showered and shaved. She could almost smell the soap.

‘Morning, Jen,' he said.

‘G-good morning,' Jennifer stammered, embarrassed at the way she'd mishandled the night before and made herself feel like crap. To top it off she'd missed cuddling into Calum's warm body, his broad shoulders protectively curling around her while his strong hands held her close; instead she lay awake all night berating herself.

Calum took the stairs two at a time. He stopped in front of Jennifer, eyes levelled on her with a steady gaze. She saw in their hazel depths a glint of anger and disappointment, yet his face remained expressionless.

She stopped her hand from going to her hair.
You look fine,
she told herself, and slid them into the pockets of her jeans, just in case she had the urge to fidget. A thought struck her. So what if she wanted to fidget with her curls? It had nothing to do with the mother thing about hair and clothes and keeping your knees together on the bus.
Oh god,
she groaned inside.

‘I'm here for Bret,' Calum said steadily.

‘So soon? He's barely had a good night's sleep.'

He scanned her face. ‘Have any of us?'

It felt like a fist slammed into her chest and clutched her heart, her lungs, and her stomach, everything inside crushed in a tight, miserable ball

His brows drew together as he scanned her face. The silence around them was intense.

‘I was just having coffee and toast,' she ventured. ‘Want some?'

‘No thanks, not hungry. Anything else?'

‘I want to apologise for everything I said last night. I sounded like an ungrateful bitch; I'm truly sorry.' It took a mammoth effort to control her emotions, but her eyes welled anyway. Hands at her sides, she stood waiting.

‘I did it for you,' he said, his voice strong, unwavering. ‘This is yours.' He handed over a small, black purse, gave one curt nod, then strode down the hall to Bob's old room.

Jennifer turned the purse over in her hands. It was the one he'd shoved in his jeans pocket the first time they'd kissed outside the door of her uncle's shop.

Calum came out of Bob's bedroom and strode back towards her. ‘Bret's…' He stopped short, studied her eyes with a look she'd never seen before: dismay, determination, acceptance, all rolled into one emotion. His expression softened, then he cupped her face, and tenderly wiped her tears away. ‘I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks in this town. The people that know me, understand me. I respect them and in turn they respect me and what I stand for. I shouldn't and I won't justify my actions and that's not going to change — ever. I love you, Jennifer Dove, so you better get used to it.' He kissed her on the mouth, gave her one last meaningful look, then turned and headed down the stairs.

She had no time to gather her thoughts. Bret came striding down the hall; when he saw her face his head snapped back, chin tucked in, and his brow furrowed. She probably looked unhinged, but there was nothing she could do about that either.

‘Get a grip, sis, I've got farm work to do. See ya.' He patted her on the head and took off after Calum.

Snapped out of her stupor, Jennifer lunged for Bret's hoodie and missed. She so wanted to lay it out clear and concise, that if he trashed all over this generous opportunity, she would hunt him down and haul his arse back to finish what he started.

Jennifer watched Bret pause at the back door; he looked up at her, smiling.

She pointed at him from the landing and gave him a lethal glare, and growled, ‘Don't fuck up.'

With a slight shake, Bret dropped his head. He raised it again and, eyes glistening, he said, ‘I won't sis…not this time.' He turned and went out the door.

Was she wrong — could the farm and Calum change Bret? There was nothing she could to about it now, he was gone, no longer under her control, but he was still her and Sofie's responsibility. She rang her sister to keep her up to date as promised.

After a few rings, Sofie's croaky voice answered. ‘Hi, Jen, you're up bloody early.'

Jennifer smiled to herself. ‘I'm ringing to let you know Bret's left with Calum. He's off to learn farm stuff.'

‘This is going to be really good for Bret,' Sofie yawned. ‘I can feel it in my bones.' More noises came down the line. Jennifer imagined Sofie stretching like a cat. ‘You should wake me up more often. Did you apologise to Calum like I said?'

‘Of course. He was pissed off and disappointed, and I can't blame him, but then he kissed me and, and…' Jennifer lost it and began to bawl.

‘Good grief, Jen, pull yourself together. And he what?'

‘He said he loves me, and that I should get used to it.'

‘Oh…oh.'
Strange crinkly noises came down the line.

‘What're you doing?'

‘I'm fanning myself with a magazine. That's so beautiful, Jen. You'll have me crying next. When are you seeing him again?'

‘I have no idea,' Jennifer sniffed. ‘I shouldn't intrude while Bret's settling in. Besides, there's so much I need to get ready for the opening.'

‘Good, get on with it,' Sofie ordered.

‘There's something else,' Jennifer began, cautiously. ‘There's a missing room, a space that we can't get into between the en-suite and bedroom I'm staying in.'

‘What?' Sofie gasped.

‘It's true. Calum pointed it out. We think the way in is through that huge closet.'

‘God…are you worried?'

‘Um…nah. Uncle Bob was a sweety.'

‘Okay, well let me know if you find something, I'll be up soon. When's the big day?'

‘I was thinking Easter Saturday. It'll give us time to post flyers and advertise.'

‘I like that idea. I'll be on school holidays. You'll have to think up some egg recipes. We can have kids look for eggs in the courtyard garden — I'll tidy it up and it'll look gorgeous,' Sofie said, full of enthusiasm. ‘This is so exciting, Jen, I'll go dream up some more things and see if I can dream up a man like Calum. You're very lucky…and so is he. I'll see you soon.' She hung up.

* * *

Jennifer sat in the kitchen, chin resting in her hand, the other holding a pen ready to jot down anything that came to mind, but Calum's last words ‘I love you, Jennifer Dove' kept intruding her thoughts. She wished she'd said something, anything, even ‘
Really'
would've been better than nothing at all. She was so in love with him, her body ached, she couldn't eat — couldn't sleep. She'd gone through the closet several times to take her mind off Calum and look for the hidden door. That was a mistake: it only served to remind her, how she'd thrown caution to the wind in there and how good it had felt. It was so easy to be herself in the dark, free of the childhood baggage that weighed her down. She promised herself to enjoy the rest of her life, with Calum, without that baggage.

It had been a week since Calum had taken Bret to the farm. A week she spent working herself out…well, trying to anyway. Bruce had made a visit to teach her how to use the fire extinguishers. Then he'd helped her put together a plan using the exit signs Calum had installed. She'd been through fire drills in the London restaurant where she'd worked, but this lecture on how to carry out an exodus safely and calmly was personal. An important day spent well. Other than that, Jennifer got on with restaurant business. By Saturday morning, Jennifer had one job left to do for the restaurant opening: write a ‘Help Wanted' notice to put in the window. She slid behind the desk in the den and opened her uncle's laptop. It whirred into action and asked for a password. ‘Bugger,' Jennifer cursed softly. The old chair creaked as she leant back and interlocked her fingers behind her head. Was this like an ATM — three strikes and you're out? She tried to think of a password her uncle might use. She grabbed a pen and pad out of the top drawer and started writing down possibilities, like their birthdates and names. She could throw their initials into a hat and pull them out, one by one, that may work, but the combinations were endless.