Homecoming (2 page)

Jerking upright, Will shoved the car into reverse.

The employee jumped backward. “Hey! Watch it!”

Will sped out of the parking lot, heading up I-35 to Morgantown. He just had to keep his shit together a little while longer. But he’d been keeping his shit together for thirty-one years. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could last.

Snow continued to fall as Will drove north, the windshield wipers lulling Will into a sense of security he knew was false. “I need to get home,” he told himself. “Everything will be okay once I get home.” But the lack of homecoming he’d received at the airport proved to Will that he was lying to himself. Nevertheless, he clung to his hope. It was all he had left.

Chapter Two

Will idled the car at the curb. Smoke rise from the chimney of the brick ranch house at the end of the cul-de-sac. The smoke faded into the darkening gray sky while the snow continued to fall, covering the ground in a blanket of white.

His hands twisted the steering wheel as he clenched his teeth. Will’s father’s car sat in the driveway, the windshield covered in a couple of inches of snow. His father had recently retired from the Marines, and Will’s misconduct would be an embarrassment. Will had lived his entire life seeking his father’s approval, without success. At the moment, he couldn’t handle his father’s recrimination on top of his own self-loathing.

But inside that house was the one person who had always been there when Will needed comfort. Who had held him as a kid when the bad dreams came night after night. The one person who’d helped him make sense of his life. He tapped his thumb in indecision. And dread. Why hadn’t she come to the airport?

A slow burn filled his throat. There was only one way to find out. He parked the car in front of the house and paused. With a shaky hand, he opened the car door, his hand lingering on the handle. He watched the house as a slow trickle of fear slid down his back. 

His anger rose at his indecision. This was ridiculous. He’d stared down the barrel of a gun at countless enemies. Will only had to get past his domineering father to see his mother. With a renewed sense of purpose, he strode up the sidewalk to the front door.

But when he stood on the doorstep, he hesitated again. Why hadn’t his mother come to the airport? Why hadn’t he heard from her since 
the
 
incident
? The worry had burrowed in his gut for weeks, but it had been easier to ignore six thousand miles away. Now it exploded, setting his nerve endings tingling. Sure, he’d faced countless enemies, but the truth was that she was the one person who could destroy him. He was about to face his biggest fear.

He gave two hard raps on the solid wooden door. Several seconds passed before the door opened, and Will stared into the grim face of his father.

The Colonel glared for several seconds before he spoke. “You have a lot of nerve showing up here.”

Will cleared his throat. What did he care what his father thought? Nothing Will ever did was good enough. “Is Mom here?”

“I want you to leave this property right now.”

Will’s voice rose. “Is Mom home?” He looked over his father’s shoulder and saw her round the corner, her face pale.

Grasping her hands in front of her, she took slow steps towards the door.

Will’s father braced his hand on the door frame, blocking the entrance. “You’re not welcome here.”

Will’s fury burned. “This is Mom’s house. You were never here long enough to call it your home. I’m here to see her, not you.”

She stood a foot behind his father’s arm, her mouth pinched and tears in her eyes.

“Mom?” Will’s voice broke. She was only two feet away, but so out of reach.

“I… “ Her voice broke and a tear fell down her cheek before she wiped it away. Lifting her chin, she cleared her throat. “You can’t stay here, Will.”

He wasn’t surprised, and honestly, he had no intention of spending the night. But he needed her, if only for a few moments. She had been his bedrock his entire life. He needed her reassurance more than he ever had. But something in her demeanor told him that she meant more than that. “I can come back tomorrow.”

She shook her head, looking down. “No.” Her eyes rose to his. “You can’t.”

Will’s heart sputtered and his breath caught in his chest as his vision narrowed. “Do you want to meet me somewhere else?”

Her chin trembled and her eyes closed as she shook her head.

His worst nightmare was coming true. “What are you saying?”

“She’s saying that you’re no longer welcome here, Will. You are no longer our son.”

He shook his head slowly, his thoughts tumbling out of control. “No, I may not be your son any longer, not that I ever really was, but Mom would never do that.” Will searched her face, but her eyes were scrunched closed.

“Mom. 
Please
.” Will’s voice caught as tears clogged his throat.

The Colonel gave Will a grin of satisfaction. “I told you that you’re not welcome here.”

Will leapt forward and shoved his father’s chest with both palms. “You fucking bastard. What did you do? What did you threaten her with?”

The Colonel had braced himself and pushed Will back so that he tripped backwards, slipping on the snow-slick porch. “I didn’t have to threaten her with anything. You’ve dishonored our family and she’s ashamed of you.”

Will tried to get around his father, but The Colonel pushed him off the porch. “Mom. Say something. 
Please.”

Pressing her knuckles into her mouth, she shook her head. Her shoulders trembled.

“Tell him,” the Colonel barked.

She jumped, releasing a loud sob.

“
Tell him
.”

“You’re no longer welcome in my life, Will.”

Will’s pain erupted in Will’s chest and his vision flashed white. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be real. “No.” He fought to catch his breath. “You don’t mean that.”

She bit her lip, her chest heaving with sobs. “I…” Her eyes shifted to his father then back to Will. “I…” Leaning her head into the door jamb, she took a deep breath and stood up, looking into Will’s face. “I mean it.”

He tried to push past his father again, but The Colonel shoved him back. Will slipped and fell to his knees in the yard. “But… I’m your son…”

She stepped out onto the porch, wrapping her arms around her. She looked thinner and paler than the last time he’d seen her, like an older version of herself. This couldn’t be his mother. She would never do this. But there she stood, lifting her chin as she shook her head. Resolve filled her eyes. “Not anymore.”

Will’s world was spinning out of control. He tried to stand but slipped in the wet snow, falling on his hands and knees. “You can throw me away? Just like that?”

She didn’t answer, looking away into the neighbor’s yard.

“I can understand him.” Will climbed to his feet and flung a hand toward his father. “But you…” He looked into the sky, snowflakes melting on his face. “You…” He swallowed the sob in his throat.

Memories flooded his head, making him take a step backward. His mother comforting him when he’d had his nightmares as a little boy. Mom helping him tie his first tie before a middle-school dance. Her eyes filling with tears before he shipped off for Iraq. The game he played when he was a kid.

How long will you love me, Mommy?

I’ll love you forever and back.

All of it was a fucking lie. “You said you’d love me forever.” He felt like a groveling idiot, reminding her of her promise.

A new sob broke loose, but she pressed her knuckles into her mouth and swallowed. Dropping her hand, she squared her shoulders. “I didn’t say I didn’t love you. I said you are no longer welcome here.”

“Where am I supposed to go?”

His father sneered. “Maybe you should have thought about that before you betrayed your country and your family.” The Colonel pushed Will’s mother back inside and Will heard her cries even after the door had shut.

Will stared in shock and disbelief. She had really turned him away. Shock hit him hard and he lost his balance as he stumbled to the rental car, then tore out of the cul-de-sac. He could go to Megan’s. His sister would take him in and hopefully be able to explain their mother’s strange behavior.

Since he’d only been to her house once when he was on a short leave a year before, it took him several tries before he found it, a bungalow in an older part of town. He parked the car in front of her house, afraid to get out. The reality sunk in and he couldn’t keep it in any longer. His mother’s rejection ripped his soul in two. He leaned his face into his hands, sobbing out his pain and frustration. Several minutes passed before his car door opened.

“Oh, Will.” His sister’s brokenhearted voice whispered in his ear. She grabbed his arm and tugged. “Come on. Let’s get you inside.”

He allowed her to pull him from the car, and she put an arm around his back, leading him toward the front door. Glancing down with his blurry eyes, he noticed her protruding belly under her green sweater. He gasped, realizing his very pregnant sister was walking on an unshoveled path. He grabbed her elbow to help with her balance. She glanced up at him with a soft smile and his eyes teared up again. How was it that the woman who brought him into this world and was supposed to love him unconditionally turned him away, yet his sister, who owed him nothing, so willingly took him in?

The front door stood ajar, and a lamp on the entry table flooded the room with soft light. She ushered him into the living room and pushed him down onto a sofa.

“Let me get you some tea.”

Will didn’t want any, but Megan had always been a firm believer that hot tea solved a myriad of problems. A trait she’d learned from their mother.

And suddenly a memory flooded his head of Will’s mother giving him a cup of tea and a warm hug after he dropped by to tell her he’d broken up with his girlfriend Trisha. A fresh batch of tears overcame him.

Megan’s arm wrapped around Will’s shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head, words escaping him as she pulled his head to her shoulder, touching her forehead to his temple. Will sobbed his mother’s betrayal. But her betrayal only reinforced the horror of his crime. Will had stood outside the school as the children’s bodies burned and listened to their screams. They’d died because of his orders and his rashness. No wonder his mother had turned him away. “She’s right.”

Megan’s head rose. “What are you talking about?”

He turned to look at her, his eyes widening in horror. “I’m a murderer.” He stood and spun around to face her, grabbing his hair with both hands and pulling until his scalp burned in pain. “Oh, God. I’m a monster.”

Megan stood and cupped his face in her hands. “No. Will. 
You listen to me
. You are not a monster.”

“I killed those kids, Megan. I watched them die and I 
just stood there
.” He tried to pull away, but her fingertips dug into his cheeks.

“You listen to me, Will Davenport.” Her voice broke and tears filled her eyes. “You did not kill those children. That al-Qaeda maniac killed those children.”

“But…” He broke down again, leaning his head into her shoulder. “They died because of me.”

Pulling his head to her shoulder, she spoke into his ear. “You saved kids. Will. You saved nearly one hundred. What about them? It’s not your fault.”

Not his fault. Every waking moment since it happened he wished it hadn’t been his fault. Or that it would have been him instead. “Then why do I hear their screams every time I close my eyes?”