Homecoming Hero (8 page)

Everyone in the room bowed their heads, Hailey included.

“Heavenly Father,” J.T. began, “I thank you for trusting Your children enough to call us into service. May
the world be further evangelized for Your glory, not our own. I pray You open our hearts and minds to what Captain Wolfson has to teach us tonight. We ask all of this in Christ's name. Amen.”

Hailey barely had time to raise her head before Wolf took over. “I've had a chance to review a list of all your upcoming mission trips. Since you will be heading into several different locales, I've decided to focus on basic techniques that can be used in any situation or terrain.”

He caught Hailey's eye and smiled. He looked entirely too smug, as though he had a secret agenda designed solely for her.

She suppressed a shiver.

“The most important element to survival is between your ears.” Wolf pointed to his head to drive home his statement. “If you use your wits and remain calm you'll have a better chance of survival in any situation.”

Hailey wrote two things in her notebook:
Stay calm. Use your head.

Good advice so far, if not a bit obvious.

“Should the worst happen and you end up alone in unknown territory…” Wolf's voice turned grave. “The key is not to panic.”

Hailey added to her list.
DON'T PANIC.
She underlined the phrase three times. On the third swipe her hand shook.

“Your priorities should be shelter, water and food, in that order.” Wolf strolled through the room as he launched into a description of each category. He meandered down the aisles until he stopped directly in front of Hailey.

Pen poised over her notebook, she gazed up at him.
The look he gave her warned her to brace herself for what was about to come next. She swallowed.

“Make one mistake and you're in big trouble. Make
two
—” he held the pause for effect “—and you might not survive at all.”

Hailey shuddered. Not from the obvious subtext in Wolf's words, but from the intense, almost pleading look in his eyes. He wasn't merely worried about her. He was
afraid
for her.

That undisguised emotion held far more weight than mere words ever could. Wolf knew exactly what life was like in the Middle East. He was making a judgment call on firsthand knowledge. Whereas she was going on an inner tug and a handful of e-mails from Clay before he died.

Horrified to feel a strong thread of doubt take root, Hailey white-knuckled her pen.

Looking a little too pleased with himself, Wolf moved away from her.

As if on cue, J.T. lowered into the empty chair beside her. “Don't let him scare you. He's just trying to make a point.”

Hailey lowered her eyes to her notebook. The words
DON'T PANIC
captured her attention. It was an excellent reminder.

“Not to worry,” she whispered with renewed resolve. “I'm made of sterner stuff than either of you know.”

J.T. patted her hand. “I don't doubt it.”

Smiling at her, he rose from his seat and went to lean against his usual spot on the wall a few feet from the door.

Wolf wove his way back to the front of the room. “Over the next six weeks you're going to learn how to
signal for help, build a fire, find shelter, gather food and water and administer basic first aid. During our last class together I'll teach you how to protect yourself when attacked, either by a four-legged predator or…” He paused again. “The two-legged kind.”

A chorus of gasps wafted through the room. Seemingly oblivious, Wolf punched a button on a laptop and a PowerPoint presentation blinked across the screen behind him.

As he began a detailed instruction on various ways to use a flashlight to signal for help, Hailey's mind raced over his troubling remark about two-legged predators.

Insurgents, terrorists, it didn't matter what name they were called. They were evil men who killed in the name of their god, who cowardly strapped bombs to children and sent them to their deaths.

Am I kidding myself, Lord? Am I trying to change hearts that are unchangeable?

No. She refused to become discouraged. She had a plan, a good one that would involve working directly with Muslim women. Hailey would help educate them and hopefully, in the process, enlighten them to their worth as human beings.

Most of all, she would love them.

It all started with love. Christ's love. And despite Wolf's countless arguments otherwise, Hailey's goal was
not
unattainable. If that were true, Clay died for nothing.

She closed her eyes and tried to picture her brother in her mind. He'd sacrificed his life for his beliefs. She might be called to do the same. Was she ready for that? Was she—

“Hailey?”

She flicked open her eyes and noticed that a shadow had fallen over her paper.

“Hailey.”

Heart pounding, she looked up. And straight into Wolf's concerned expression.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“I was… I mean…” She gave him a shaky smile. “Yes, of course. I'm fine.”

The sound of shuffling feet alerted her to a sudden rash of movement coming from all sides of the room. People were getting out of their seats and leaving.

“Where is everyone going?” she asked.

“We're taking a ten-minute break before we meet outside to practice signaling with flashlights.”

“Oh.” And just like that, her mind went blank. She had nothing else to say. Nada. Zip. Not a single word.

“Come on.” He reached out his hand. “If you're especially good, I'll let you be my partner.”

Okay, that comment really deserved a response, or maybe even two, and yet words
still
escaped her. Feeling foolish, Hailey silently placed her hand in Wolf's. An immediate sense of well-being filled her.

Right. Now she was tongue-tied for an entirely different set of reasons. Wolf might be a complex, driven, frustrating man, but he was also handsome, charming and appealed to everything female inside her.

Much to Hailey's dismay, and despite J.T.'s raised eyebrows, it felt perfectly natural holding Wolf's hand as they walked out of the room together.

She was still struggling to find her voice when he tugged her down the hallway and toward the back of the church.

F
rom the corner of his eye, Wolf watched an array of emotions flutter across Hailey's face. Confusion, sadness, worry, all three were evident in her expression.

“I know what you're trying to do,” she said, tilting her chin at the stubborn angle he was growing to dread.

Before responding, he opened the door leading to the empty field behind the church and motioned Hailey to exit ahead of him.

“What is it you think I'm
trying to do?
” he asked.

Nose in the air, she marched several feet forward then spun back to glare at him. “You're trying to scare me.” She poked him in the chest. Hard. “Aren't you?”

Denial would be beneath them both. However, there was nothing wrong with a little procrastination. “And if I am?”

“You admit it?”

He took a moment to consider the sky. The night air had turned cold and misty, almost gloomy. Not a single star cut through the thick cloud cover. “Yeah, I admit it.” He leaned in close to her ear. “But is it working? Am I scaring you, Hailey?”

A soft, scoffing breath slid past her lips. “Not in the least.”

Wolf wasn't fooled by all that false bravado. Like a green soldier on his first deployment, Hailey was scared and riddled with doubts but she didn't know what to do with either emotion.

“Come on, Hailey. I saw the terror in your eyes when I mentioned predators,” he said. “We both know I've got you thinking.”

“Maybe so.” She blinked at him, looking momentarily thrown off guard by the swift admission. “But I am
not
afraid.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I'm
not
.” Her words came out strong enough, but she grabbed his arm as though it had become a lifeline. “I'm just irritated. Yes, that's the word. And maybe a little annoyed at your not-so-subtle attempt to scare me away from my calling.”

The look in her eyes said otherwise. “Hailey, there's nothing wrong with being afraid. Fear is good. Fear is healthy. And sometimes—” he looked pointedly at the hand that was now clawing into his biceps “—fear is the only thing that will keep you alive.”

“Stop trying to confuse me.” Her fingers tightened still more. “Fear is not good. It's the opposite of faith.”

“Tell yourself whatever helps you sleep at night. But make no mistake.” He slowly unpeeled her hand from his arm, one finger at a time. “I have no intention of watching you climb on an airplane headed to the Middle East.
Ever.
”

Slapping her palm against her thigh, she jerked her chin at him. The building's outdoor lighting gleamed in her eyes, making her look fiercely beautiful and yet
painfully vulnerable. He wanted to yank her into his arms and hold her until she wasn't frightened anymore. But that would defeat the purpose of his plan.

So he remained perfectly still and waited for her to break the silence.

“Don't look so smug,” she warned. “I
will
get my way on this.”

“I'll say the same to you.”

She shook her head at him. The building's artificial light turned her dark waves into a rippling black waterfall of curls. She really was extraordinary. She took his breath away.

“So, here we are again. At a stalemate.” Her voice rang with such frustration, his chest ached with remorse. He hated being at odds with this woman, even if he was right and she was dead wrong.

“I'm not happy about this, either,” he said.

“Then give up. Accept defeat.”

“Not a chance.” Despite her arguments otherwise, he'd won this round. Hailey was having doubts, just as he planned.

Next order of business. Wolf needed to reveal the harsh realities of the Sandpit. In living color. The most accessible footage was on the Internet.

But how was he going to get the stubborn woman in front of a computer?

While he was contemplating various possibilities, she changed the subject on him. “How are you settling into life back in the States?”

“Slowly.” He wondered if he should tell her about his visit to Cottrell Field this morning but quickly decided against it. There was already too much tension between them. He didn't want Clay in the middle, too. “I'm moving off post this weekend.”

“But…” Her eyebrows slammed together. “I didn't realize you were living there.”

“Only temporarily. I'm moving to a town house in Savannah.” As soon as the words left his mouth he had his idea. “Would you help me shop for towels, kitchen-ware, you know, stuff like that? I could use a woman's opinion.”

Especially
if that woman was the green-eyed beauty staring at him now. He watched in fascination as Hailey transitioned right before his eyes from a woman of fierce resolve to one filled with age-old female secrets. The kind that hooked a man into all sorts of promises.

“Of course I'll help you,” she all but purred. A slow grin spread across her face. “Under one condition.”

His blood pumped slow and thick through his veins. Oh, yeah. He'd give this woman anything she asked of him.
“Anything.”

“I want a ride on your motorcycle.” She raised her hand to keep him from speaking over her. “Or no deal.”

He couldn't resist a smile at the sight of all that fierce determination. “Done.”

Really, that had to be the easiest bargain he'd ever struck with another human being.

 

Saturday morning dawned clear, the blue sky completely cloudless. Hailey, however, had several other concerns on her mind that wiped out her joy over the gorgeous weather.

Frowning, she climbed out of Wolf's car and jammed her fists on her hips. “It's not that I don't appreciate Stella.” She eyed the steel monster for a long moment, her annoyance melting into an odd sort of fondness. “In fact, the old girl's starting to grow on me.”

“She does have her charm,” Wolf agreed, patting the roof of the car with a rather unhealthy dose of affection.

What is it with him and this car?
And why did it matter to Hailey so much? She couldn't possibly be jealous of a hunk of metal. Could she?

“Nevertheless,” she said, sharply ignoring the knot of unease twisting in her stomach. “I find it necessary to remind you that we had a deal. You promised me a ride on your motorcycle before we went shopping. And yet, here we are.”

She made a grand sweep of her hand, making sure the arc included not only the building but the entire parking lot.

Laughing softly, he swung his arm over her shoulder and tugged her against his warm, muscular body. “Come on, Hail, lighten up. You know we can't cart around supplies on my bike.”

She answered with a very unladylike snort.

“Tell you what.” He drew her in a fraction closer to his chest. “You fulfill your end of the bargain and as soon as we're done here I'll fulfill mine.”

Instead of shoving him away—like she should, considering his arrogant tone—Hailey snuggled deeper inside Wolf's embrace. She told herself this strange desire to be near him had nothing,
nothing,
to do with the sense of comfort and safety she felt in his arms. Nor was it because of the pleasant tingle running up her spine that came when she breathed in his masculine scent of leather, soap and spice.

No.
The decision to cling to him was all about the cool breeze sweeping across the parking lot. Nothing more.

Then why did she feel so lost when he dropped his
arm and headed toward the store's entrance ahead of her?

“So, uh, Wolf.” Hailey trotted after him. “Remind me again why we're shopping here and not on post.”

“Simple.” He pulled loose a shopping cart from the long stack, his gaze riveted on a colorful display of a popular sports drink. “More variety.”

“But everything's so much more expensive here,” she said.

He went completely still at her remark. The only part of him moving was his blinking eyelashes. “Wolf?”

“I can afford this store,” he ground out through a clenched jaw.

Momentarily bemused by the sudden change in him, Hailey looked everywhere but at his irritated expression. How could she have predicted he'd be so touchy? Because Clay had been the same way when he'd first returned from Iraq. Seemingly inconsequential things had upset him, while others had not. There had been no predicting his reaction, not at first, not until he'd acclimated.

“Wolf, I'm sorry,” she began carefully. “I didn't mean to imply that you couldn't afford this store. I was only trying to be practical. I…” She sighed. “I apologize.”

He responded with a distant nod. “Okay.”

It wasn't much of an acceptance. Probably because her apology hadn't sounded sincere enough. “Really, Wolf. I'm sorry.”

“I know.” He pushed the cart out of the way of oncoming traffic. “Try to understand, Hailey. To me, shopping in
any
store is a luxury. After a year in the desert, I just want to cruise aisles full of so many choices
my head spins. And this particular store is known for its variety.”

“Then what are we waiting for? Let's get to it.”

They shopped for two full hours, wading up and down the aisles with no real plan. Understanding the situation better, Hailey allowed Wolf to push the cart at his pace. She also stood by patiently while he struggled over what seemed basic, straightforward decisions to her.

To him, they were dilemmas.

What color towels should he pick? Did he need four dinner plates or eight? Two skillets or one?

She could tell by the increasingly taut series of expressions on his face that each decision was getting harder for him to make.

They turned onto the small appliance aisle, and he stopped. He just stopped. Right there. In the middle of the aisle, and stood motionless, blinking rapidly, seemingly riveted by whatever he saw up ahead of him.

Desperation suddenly filled his gaze. And then…

His eyes went dead.

Hailey had lost him. Completely. And she wasn't sure how to get him back.

 

An ugly void of nothing filled Wolf's mind, followed by an intense rush of panic. Rage hovered so close to the edge of his control he didn't know what to do with it.

His thoughts tumbled over one another so quickly he had to grip the shopping cart ruthlessly to keep his hands from shaking.

There were too many noises surrounding him, too many colors and too many people. So…many…people.

He was having sensory overload. He recognized the signs, yet he was too detached from himself to do anything about it.

He couldn't make another decision. Not. One. More. But that wasn't the main reason his mind had become a ball of chaotic fury.

It was the ridiculous argument he'd overheard. The one still going on behind him.

He breathed in a slow, careful breath, then let it out even slower. But nothing helped. His anger increased as the woman carried on, complaining about the low thread count in the bedsheets someone had handed her. On and on she went.

Didn't she understand what a privilege it was to purchase a set of bedsheets in the first place? Didn't she know how fortunate she was to have a bed at all, much less sheets and blankets? And yet she was
still
complaining.

Wolf had to get out of here. Before he said—or did—something he couldn't take back.

“Wolf.” Hailey's voice called to him from what seemed a great distance. He'd nearly forgotten she was here with him.

She placed a gentle hand on his arm. The soft touch instantly calmed him.

“Wolf, honey.” Her voice washed over him in soothing ripples. “Look at me.”

He rolled his gaze in her direction.

They stared at one another, both understanding that he was teetering on the edge.

“Why don't you wait for me in the car?” she suggested softly.

He shook his head, unable to focus completely on
what she was saying, but knowing he needed to do what she advised.

“Go on.” She nudged him with her hip. “I'll finish up here.”

“I—”

“It's all right.” She cupped his cheek tenderly. “Just go to the car. I've got this.”

He resisted the urge to close his eyes and lean into her hand. “I need air,” he admitted.

“Oh, Wolf, it's okay.” She caressed his cheek. “It's
okay.
”

Her kindness—he didn't know what to do with it. Part of him wanted to embrace it, to fall into all that goodness and affection he saw in her eyes. Another part of him wanted to run because he couldn't release the anger gnawing at him.

Lash out? Escape? Both viable options. Which meant he had a classic case of fight or flight.

Without another word he turned on his heel and started toward the front of the store. He halted after two steps.

His breathing wouldn't stop its erratic rhythm, his head swam with too many angry images but at least he had the presence of mind to remember where he was, who he was with and what they were doing.

“Here.” He dug his wallet out of his back pocket and handed her a bunch of bills. “Use the cash to pay for my purchases.”

She took the money without question. “I'll make this quick.”

“Okay.”

“Go on, Wolf. It's all right.” Her eyes held such understanding, it made him feel stripped to the bone. He didn't
want anyone, not even Hailey, to see that deeply into his soul.

He stalked to the store's entrance at a fast pace. His chest ached. His eyes burned. But he kept his mind blank and his senses shut down, refusing to look at people, or listen to any more of their conversations.

He'd never felt this before, this all-consuming fury.

But he'd never felt this alone before, either.

Not even in those early days after his father died of alcohol poisoning. Although Wolf had been saddened by the tragic passing, there had also been a sense of relief. His father had been set free from his pain. Wolf had turned to God after that, and had discovered that his faith could get him through the worst life tossed his way.