Authors: JoAnn Ross
Tags: #Washington (State), #Women Lawyers, #Contemporary, #Legal, #Fiction, #Romance, #Single Fathers, #Sheriffs, #General, #Love Stories
Raine heard a throaty sound and was unable to decide whether it was a choked off laugh or a sob. “God, I miss you,” Savannah said on a rush of shaky breath. “And Ida. And even Lilith, believe it or not. In fact, when I woke up this morning, I thought about going home to lick my wounds, but I didn’t want to look as if I was running home to Gram at the first sign of trouble.”
“That’s what the family is for.”
Savannah laughed again, this time with more humor. “Right. And I’ll bet Coldwater Cove would be the first place you’d think of hiding out if your life crumbled beneath your feet.”
“Probably not,” Raine admitted.
She wanted to say something reassuring. But when words failed her, Raine assured herself that there would be time for tears and hugs later. When they didn’t have all these miles between them.
“And you don’t have to stick to that two weeks schedule,” Savannah said. “I should be able to tie up loose ends and get up there in a few days. Then I’ll take over.”
“Just try to make it before we run out of frozen dinners to nuke and Gram decides to start cooking,” Raine instructed.
After Raine hung up, she sat for a while, thinking how Savannah might be a perfectionist when it came to her work, but had always been ruled by her heart. She also had the unfortunate tendency to think the best of people until she was proven wrong.
Which was why, Raine considered with a flash of hot fury, her sister hadn’t picked up on the warning signals that the rest of the family had when they’d first met the groom after Savannah’s sudden elopement to Monte Carlo.
During their high school years, Savannah had been the flame that drew eyes as she’d laughed and flirted and had every boy in the school falling a little bit in love with her. Her natural sexuality had left Raine feeling a bit of an observer to a play in which she’d never be the star.
Not that she’d minded. Savannah having inherited Lilith’s lush feminine appeal was nothing more than a quirk of fate, a fortunate accident of genetics. To envy such beauty would be like the cool silver moon resenting the brighter, bolder sun for rising in a blaze of glory each morning. Besides, they’d each carved out individual identities early on in life.
She was, of course, the “smart, sassy one,” while Savannah, everyone would agree, was “the pretty, sweet one.”
But even as they followed their individual dreams down different paths, deep down inside, where it really counted, despite having different fathers, she and Savannah were sisters of the heart. When one was hurting, the other felt the pain and when they spoke, they spoke with the same voice.
Family matters taken care of, at least as well as they could be for now, Raine called her office. Brian quickly caught her up on what was happening with her cases, then transferred her to the managing partner.
“I must say, Raine,” Stephen Wells complained, “I’m less than pleased to hear that you’re not returning any time soon.”
“It’s only a few days. Fifteen at the most. Fortunately, I don’t have any court dates scheduled, so as long as I have my laptop and can access the firm’s mainframe, I can work anywhere.”
In fact, if she wanted to, she could essentially set up her office on some faraway beach. When that all too appealing idea brought up her now familiar tropical fantasy starring Jack O’Halloran, she dragged her mind back to the droning voice on the other end of the phone.
“I understand, Stephen. Yes, it’s a bit of an inconvenience, but it’s nothing that can’t be worked out.”
More complaints, along with a pointed comment about the upcoming decision to be made on the new partnerships that caused the temper Raine usually kept on a taut leash to spike. If he thought he could make her abandon her grandmother by threatening to pass her over for promotion, he definitely had another think coming!
She swallowed hard to force down her annoyance. “I promise nothing will fall between the cracks.” With effort, Raine kept the irritation from her voice. “And really, Stephen, when you come right down to it, my taking a few days to deal with a family emergency is not nearly as disruptive as if I’d taken a vacation. A long-overdue vacation,” she stressed. “As I’m certain many attorneys would do after obtaining an important victory like the Odessa Oil appeals decision.”
For a moment, she could hear only the
tick tick tick
of the kitchen clock. “All right,” he finally said. “We’ll consider this a vacation, then. And I’ll assure the other partners that you’ll be back at your desk no later than fifteen days from now.”
His point made, rather ungraciously, Raine thought, considering the money she’d brought into the firm’s coffers just this month alone, Stephen Wells brought the conversation to an abrupt close.
W
orries filled Raine’s mind, circling around and around like fallen leaves caught in a whirlpool. She worried about her work, which, despite her brave words to Stephen Wells, she knew would pile up during her absence. She worried about Ida, who while as bossy and mule-headed as ever, was obviously growing older.
As they all were, Raine thought as she crawled out of bed, pulled on a robe and a pair of thick green-and-orange-striped ski socks that she’d left behind when she’d gone to law school. But Ida wore her years more heavily.
She worried that Gwen would prove too much for her grandmother to take care of on her own. Especially if she decided to keep her baby. She worried what would happen to the teenage mother and child if that proved the case. And, finally, she couldn’t stop worrying about Savannah.
What many people, who made the mistake of concentrating only on her stunning looks, missed was that Savannah Townsend had a deep-seated domestic streak. As a child she’d spent hours at her Easy-Bake oven, turning out tiny cakes and cookies for the teas she’d serve with a flourish and an eye for detail far beyond her years. The miniature plates were scrubbed and decorated sand dollars she’d collected on the beach, the paper cups always sported hand-painted motifs, and Martha Stewart would have envied the ideal simplicity of Savannah’s seasonal centerpieces.
While Raine had spent hours role-playing with their scores of Barbie dolls—always opting for the career look, even as a secret part of her had been drawn to the glam gowns—Savannah had tended more toward baby dolls she could bathe and rock and pretend to feed.
“A natural born mother,” Ida had often said whenever Savannah brought home yet another wounded dog or cat. She’d once rescued a hawk whose wing had been broken by some older boys throwing stones. The ungrateful bird had viciously ripped the skin on Savannah’s index finger during the rescue operation, but just the memory of the sight of the hawk soaring off the cliff after its recovery was enough to give Raine goosebumps.
As she went downstairs, planning to get some air on the front porch, Raine thought about the miscarriage Savannah had suffered last summer. When her sister had visited her in New York last fall, they’d spent hours talking about her sister’s lifelong desire for a large family. Now Raine considered that perhaps it was fortunate she hadn’t had any children. Being a single mother like Lilith would obviously be difficult.
No. Not like Lilith, Raine amended as she went out onto the porch. The screen door opened with a rusty creak. Her sister would never abandon her children.
And speaking of her mother…Raine was surprised to find Lilith sitting alone in the dark on the swing. “Looks as if I’m not the only one who can’t sleep,” she said.
“It’s been a busy past few days.” A red glow brightened the dark as Lilith drew in on a cigarette.
“That’s putting it mildly.” Raine chose a wicker chair. “At least Shawna’s case went well.”
“That was something.” Lilith took another longer drag on the cigarette, then exhaled a cloud of smoke that hung between them like an acrid curtain. “I still can’t believe that we were unlucky enough to get Bloody Babs Patterson for a judge.
“Bloody Babs?”
“She always was horrendously vicious whenever she felt crossed. Most of the girls were terrified of her, which is why they always voted her onto the pep squad and prom committees, even when they didn’t want to.”
If the judge hadn’t turned out to be a major problem, Raine might have laughed at Lilith’s pique. It had been thirty-two years, yet from the way her mother spoke about Judge Barbara Patterson-Young, it could have been yesterday.
“Well, she definitely found a way to get the upper hand today.”
“That’s true.” Lilith stabbed her cigarette out in the empty cup she’d been using for an ashtray. “Did you see Cooper?”
“No. Was he in the courtroom?”
“He was sitting in the back. He came in while Babs was drilling you on your credentials. And left right about the time Mother shot off her mouth.”
Raine couldn’t help chuckling, just a little, at the memory. “I thought I was going to have to sit on her.”
“She’d have bit your ass if you’d tried,” Lilith said. “It
was
funny, though. I don’t think I’ll ever forget Bab’s face when Mother brought up the birth control pills.”
“She reminded me of St. Helens, about to blow its top again.”
“Didn’t she?” Lilith laughed softly. Then sighed again. “Of course, to be fair, I realize now that I never should have gone out with Jimmy. They’d just had a little spat over her deciding to go to school in Hawaii instead of Washington State, like she’d originally planned.”
“Sounds as if they made up the first time she came home,” Raine said mildly. “If Gram’s right about the pills.”
“Oh, she’s right. Mother has always had a steel-trap mind.”
“Perhaps not so much anymore.”
Lilith glanced over at Raine. “Sometimes it’s still hard for me to imagine that little girl I brought into the world as an attorney. From what Ida says, you’re quite an important one, too.”
“Not that important. And we all grow up.”
“True. We’re also all getting older.” Lilith drew her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. “Lord, that’s a damn depressing thought.”
“Don’t worry, Lilith.” Raine couldn’t quite keep the veiled sarcasm from her tone. It was so typical that her mother would find a way to put herself in the center of the situation. “You’ll never get old.”
“Grow up, you mean,” Lilith said.
“I suppose that’s a matter of semantics.”
“No.” Silver hair flashed like a comet in the dark as Lilith shook her head. “You’re extremely skilled in the use of words, Raine. You were avoiding the truth because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings. But I notice you didn’t argue when Bloody Babs ruled that I wasn’t competent to care for the girls.”
“She didn’t exactly say you were incompetent—”
“She said I was not a responsible adult.” Showing a flash of her usual spark, Lilith lifted her chin, just a little. “And with your silence, you agreed.”
“I couldn’t lie. Not in a court room. Not with Gwen’s future at stake.”
“Are you saying that you honestly don’t believe I could take care of her? For four short weeks?”
“Honestly?” Tired of tap dancing around the issue, Raine decided not to mince words. “No. I do not believe you’d be a stable influence on Gwen. Even allowing that we haven’t seen much of each other the past few years, Lilith, after that little New Age musical you performed in the forest, the one you invited Shawna to participate in”—she reminded her mother pointedly—“I don’t see how anyone could consider you a decent role model.”
“The last time I looked, the constitution granted all Americans freedom of religion.”
“True. But I don’t recall anything about the founding fathers writing in a clause granting the freedom to dance nude in a public park.”
“We weren’t in public, not really…”
“Dammit, Lilith!” Raine was on her feet now. “Would you just drop it? You were wrong. Your behavior was outrageous. And irresponsible, since people take their children into Olympic National Park, which makes it very, very public.”
“There’s nothing wrong with the human body.”
“True. Until you decide to flaunt it in front of a bunch of Boy Scouts.”
Lilith looked up at her in surprise. “There weren’t any Boy Scouts anywhere around where we’d camped.”
“Not yet. But Jack told me an entire troop of them were scheduled for a nature hike the next day.”
“Really?” She tilted her head and pursed her lips as she thought that over. “I wonder why Cooper didn’t mention that little fact while he was slapping the shackles on me.”
“They were handcuffs, Lilith. Not shackles. Besides, he only resorted to using them after you slapped him. And to answer your question, he didn’t tell you about the scouts because he was afraid once you heard about them, you’d refuse to get dressed.”
“Did he actually tell you that?”
“He told Jack. Sheriff O’Halloran,” Raine corrected quickly. “The sheriff told me.” The less-than-pleasant subject had come up last night while they’d been planning for Gwen’s hearing.
“I see.” Lilith’s gaze turned to look out over the rolling, dark-shadowed lawn. “It appears Cooper doesn’t think very much of me.”
“Would you if you were in his shoes? After what you did?”
“I admitted going out with Jimmy was a mistake, but—”
“We’re not talking about some stupid, damn teenage tryst,” Raine said through clenched teeth. “I was referring to the way you resisted arrest.”
“That’s ridiculous. All I did was tear up his stupid ticket.”
“Three times. Along with his citation book.”
“Well, there was that,” Lilith reluctantly agreed. She allowed a faint smile at the memory. “I hate to admit this, but I was a little embarrassed when he came in the courtroom today.”
Stop the presses, Raine thought. Lilith Lindstrom may actually have regrets about her behavior. Since there was nothing reasonably safe she could say to that, she didn’t respond.
“Maybe even a bit ashamed,” Lilith went on to confess. The silence lingered between them, so palpable Raine imagined she could reach out and touch it. “But it was still wrong of Babs to imply that I wouldn’t be a proper caretaker. After all,” she said with a flare of pique, “I have two daughters of my own—”
“Whom you continually abandoned like a mother cat dumping a litter of kittens.” Continued exhaustion, plus the events of the past few days, caused Raine to respond more harshly than was her nature. She regretted the words the moment she heard them come out of her mouth. Almost.
“That’s not fair.” Moisture glistened in Lilith’s expressive eyes. “I didn’t abandon you. Leaving you girls with your grandmother, whenever things got too difficult for me to handle on my own, whenever my life got disrupted, was my way of providing you with a stable home.”
Raine’s barked laugh held not an iota of humor. “That was your idea of stability?”
“It was the best I could do, at the time,” Lilith responded defensively. “You don’t know how it was for me. Ida divorced my father when I was five years old—”
“He was a gambler. He stole money from her and he hit her.”
“I never saw him lift a hand to Mother, but if she says it happened, it undoubtedly did. The thing is, Raine, I never got over losing him. Which is why, I suppose, I’ve spent so much of my life needing men to find me attractive. To want me.”
“I really don’t think we should go down this road,” Raine warned.
“Oh,
I
think we should. Because it’s important…. It’s not easy for me to admit this, Raine. But I’ve been thinking a great deal about you and your sister lately, and I’ve come to the conclusion that in your own way, you’re the most like me.”
“That’s preposterous!” Raine shook her head, stunned by her mother’s outrageous suggestion. “We’re nothing alike.”
“Oh, I think you’re a great deal more like me than you care to admit,” Lilith said mildly. “I saw you on television the other day. You photograph very well, by the way.”
“Gee, thanks. That really puts my mind at ease.”
“You don’t have to be sarcastic. I was merely making an observation. You have the Lindstrom bones. They’ll serve you well as you grow older.
“But despite having my features, you looked amazingly like Owen, when he held his press conference on the federal-courthouse steps after he’d gotten the Sacramento Six acquitted.
“I was pregnant with you at the time. He wasn’t at all happy about that, but since he was considering a possible political future, he agreed to get married. I’d known it was merely a marriage of convenience—his convenience,” she clarified with an edge to her voice. “But I honestly believed that I could get him to love me. In time.”
“Which you didn’t have.”
“No. The day we got back from Tijuana, he moved out of our apartment and we never spent another night together.”
Her parents ill-fated marriage was definitely not one of Raine’s favorite topics. But there was one part of Lilith’s story that had captured her attention. “I reminded you of my father?”
Lilith lit another cigarette and took her time in answering. “Unfortunately, yes.”
“Unfortunately?” She couldn’t help herself. Lilith had Raine wondering if, just perhaps, her father had seen her on television, speaking with the press. And if he had, whether he’d been even a little bit proud of her.
“Your father is not a nice man, Raine, dear. Oh, he’s admittedly intelligent and charismatic, but he’s also totally egocentric—”
“And a brilliant attorney,” Raine broke in, thinking that Lilith calling Owen Cantrell egocentric was definitely a case of the pot calling the kettle black.
“True. He’s both brilliant and ruthless. I do believe that all those lawyer-shark jokes were coined with Owen in mind. It was that part of him I saw in you. That’s when I knew for certain that what I’ve been suspecting all these years was true.”
“Which was?” Raine inquired icily.
“In the same way I’ve spent my life trying to prove to an absent father that I was appealing enough to love, you’re trying to prove yourself to
your
father by becoming even more heartless than he is.”