Homer Price (3 page)

“Stop tickling,” said the tall robber because his feet stuck out and Aroma’s tail was resting on his toes.

“I’m not tickling you,” said the second robber, “but say, I think I still smell that animal!”

“Now that you mention it, I seem to smell it too,” said the third robber.

The fourth robber reached for the light button saying, “That settles it! Let’s get dressed and go to Mexico, because
I think I smell that animal too!
”

Then as the robber turned on the light Homer shouted, “You
do
smell that animal, and please don’t make any sudden movements because he excites easily.” The robbers took one look and pulled the covers over their heads.

“The sheriff will be here in a few minutes,” said Homer, bravely.

But five minutes later the sheriff had not shown up. The robbers were getting restless, and Aroma was tapping her foot and getting excited.

Homer began to be disturbed about what his mother would say if Aroma smelled up one of her largest and best tourist cabins, so he quickly thought of a plan. He climbed through the window. He gathered up all of the guns and put them in the basket. Then he gathered up the robbers’ clothes and
tossed them out of the window. After picking out one of the larger guns Homer waved it in the direction of the robbers and said, “You may come out from under the covers now, and hold up your hands.”

The robbers gingerly lifted the covers and peeked out, then they carefully climbed out of bed so as not to disturb Aroma, and put up their hands.

“We didn’t
mean
to do it,” mumbled the first robber.

“And we’ll give the money back,” said the second robber.

“Our early environment is responsible for our actions,” said the educated robber.

“I’m sorry,” Homer said, “but I’ll have to take you to the sheriff.” He motioned with the gun and demanded that the fourth robber pick up the suitcase with the prize money and lotion inside. Then he said, “Forward march!”

“Must we go in our pajamas?” cried one.

“And without our shoes?” wailed another.

“Aroma is getting excited,” Homer reminded them, and the robbers started marching without any more arguing, but they did grumble and groan about walking on gravel with bare feet (robbers aren’t accustomed to going without shoes, and they couldn’t have run away, even if Homer and Aroma hadn’t been there to guard them).

First came the first robber with his hands up, then the second robber with his hands up, then the third robber with his hands up, and then the fourth robber with his right hand up and his
left hand down, carrying the suitcase (of course, Aroma followed the suitcase) and last of all came Homer, carrying the basket with a dozen or two guns in it. He marched them straight down route 56A and up the main street of Centerburg. They turned into the barber shop where the sheriff was getting his hair cut and the boys were sitting around playing checkers.

When the sheriff saw them come in the door he stopped talking about the World Series and said, “Well, I’ll be switched if it ain’t the robio raiders, I mean radio robbers!” The sheriff got out of the barber chair with his hair cut up one side and not cut up the other and put handcuffs on the men and led them off to the jail.

Well, there isn’t much more to tell. The newspapers told the story and had headlines saying B
OY
A
ND
P
ET
S
KUNK
T
RAP
S
HAVING
L
OTION
R
OBBERS
B
Y
S
MELL
and the news commentators on the radio told about it too. Homer’s father and mother said that Homer could keep Aroma for a pet because instead of hurting business Aroma has doubled business. People for miles around are coming to the crossroads where 56 meets 56A just to buy gasoline and to eat a hamburger or a home-cooked dinner, and to see Aroma.

The next time Homer went into Centerburg to get a haircut, he talked the whole thing over again with the sheriff.

“Yep!” said the sheriff, “that was sure one smell job of swelling, I mean one swell job of smelling!”

O
NE Saturday afternoon Homer and Freddy and Freddy’s little brother Louis were listening to the State College football game on the radio.

After the game Homer said, “I’m feeling sort of hungry. Come on, Freddy, come on, Louis. Let’s go down to the kitchen and get something to eat.”

They went downstairs and Homer poured out three glasses of milk, and Homer’s mother brought out the cookie jar.

“Don’t eat too many cookies,” she cautioned, “because it’s almost dinner time.”

“No, Ma’m, we won’t,” said Freddy. Then he said to Homer, “Has tonight’s newspaper come yet?”

“I think so,” said Homer. “Yes, there it is, on top of the refrigerator.”

“Oh, boy!” said Freddy as he opened it to the comic page. “Let’s see what happened to the ‘Super-Duper’.”

So Freddy and little brother Louis and Homer gathered around the paper to see how the Super-Duper was going to get out of the big steel box filled with dynamite, where the villain had put him and dropped him into the middle of the ocean from an air-ship.

There in the first picture, the Super-Duper was saying,
“Haw, Haw! That villain thinks he can get rid of me, but he’s mistaken!” Then in the next picture the dynamite exploded and blew the steel box to bits. But that didn’t hurt the Super-Duper because the Super-Duper is
so
tough (tougher than steel) that
nothing
can hurt
him!

“Just look at those muscles and that chest the Super-Duper’s got!” said Freddy before going on to the next picture. In the next picture the Super-Duper bounded up from the bottom of the ocean and went whizzing through the air. He caught the air-ship by the tail and broke it off with a loud
crack!
In the last picture the villain was trying to escape in an airplane, and was machine-gunning the Super-Duper, but the bullets were just bouncing off his chest because he was so tough. Then it said, “Continued on Monday.”

“Boy!” said Freddy, “the Super-Duper can do anything!”

“Yeh, but it’s only a story,” said Homer. “And the story’s always the same. The Super-Duper always hits things and breaks them up, and a villain always tries to bomb him, or shoot him with a cannon or a gun or an electric ray. Then he always rescues the pretty girl and gets the villain in the end.”

“Well, it isn’t just a story,” said Freddy, “because Super-Duper’s in the movies too. They really take
movies
of him lifting battleships with one hand and even flying through space.”

“Aw,” said Homer, “I read a book once that said they do that sort of thing with wires and mirrors. It’s just trick photography, that’s all it is.”

Then little brother Louis, who had been eating cookies all this time said, “Read it to me!”

So Freddy had to read it all over again, out loud, and explain the story to little Louis.

“Freddy,” called Homer’s mother, “your mother just phoned and wants you to bring little Louis right home.”

“O.K. C’mon, Louis, finish your milk. Good-by, Homer, and thank you for the cookies.”

The next time Freddy came over to visit Homer he brought along some of his Super-Duper comic magazines.

“Say, Homer, I thought you might like to look at these,” said Freddy.

“Gosh, Freddy, you certainly have a lot of those comic magazines,” said Homer.

“They don’t cost much,” said Freddy. “Only ten cents apiece. Here, read this one, Homer, it’s the most exciting.”

Homer took the comic magazine and started to read, while Freddy looked over his shoulder.

At the beginning of the story the Super-Duper was dressed in ordinary clothes, just like any other man. Then after the villain appeared on the second page, the Super-Duper slipped behind a tree and changed into red tights and a long blue cape.

“Why does he always change his clothes like that?” asked Homer.

“That’s because he is so modest,” said Freddy in a knowing way. Homer started reading again: After the Super-Duper had changed his clothes he started flying through space and smashing things. He picked up automobiles and tossed them over cliffs, and he even carried a train across a river, after the villain had blown up the bridge.

Then finally he saved the pretty girl from a horrible death and caught the villain, who turned out to be a very notorious criminal.

“Gosh, Freddy, these Super-Duper stories are all the same,” said Homer.

“No, they’re not!” said Freddy. “Sometimes the Super-Duper smashes airships and sometimes he smashes ocean liners. Then, other times he just breaks up mountains.”

“But he always rescues the pretty girl and catches the villain on the last page,” said Homer.

“Of course,” said Freddy. “That’s to show that crime does not pay!”

“Shucks!” said Homer. “Let’s go pitch horse shoes.”

“O.K.,” said Freddy.

Freddy won two games out of three and then he said, “Guess it’s almost supper time, see you tomorrow, Homer.”

“Yep! G’by, Freddy,” said Homer, and Freddy gathered up his comic magazines and went up the road home.