Honest Love (10 page)

“Okay.”  I heard him get up from his seat to follow me back into the living room.  I bent to put
Grease
in the DVD player and when I stood, heavy strong arms circled my waist.  I jumped at the sudden contact, but then relaxed and leaned back against his body. 

“Why haven’t you asked?  You haven’t said a word about what I told you earlier…about wanting to hold you, to be next to you.”  I let his arms pull me even closer to his body as he spoke low into my ear.  His warm breath sent chills running up and down my body. 

“I didn’t know what to say.”  My voice was a whisper.

“Tell me now.”

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and was honest with Derek.  “I would have liked that very much.”  As soon as the words were out of my mouth, Derek turned me around to face him and paused only a second before his hands cupped my face and his mouth slowly, softly covered mine.  My entire body came alive in that moment.  The feel of his short beard against my face, the gentleness of his lips and tongue as they brushed across the seam of mine had me praying for more.  I opened for him and let his tongue find mine.  It was a long, sensually slow kiss that tested and tasted every corner of my mouth.  I was a giant pile of nothing.  I hadn’t been kissed like that in years, maybe not ever.  Derek made me feel like his entire mind, body and soul were focused on me—only me. 

Pulling away from our kiss, he placed his forehead against mine, eyes still closed and said, “Movie?”

I leaned away and studied his face.  “Sure.”  Hell no, I didn’t want the movie.  But I wasn’t some horny teenager that couldn’t control my emotions.  It was probably for the best, though.  My head was a foggy mess.

Derek took my hand in his and led me to the sofa.  This time, he pulled me next to him, making sure I was sitting even closer than we had on Saturday night and he spooned my body next to his.  It felt wonderful.  The movie played and I’m certain that not even a single word or song registered in my mind.  That was partly due to Derek slowly rubbing his hand up and down my right arm for most of the movie.  Neither of us said anything. As the credits rolled, I sat up and looked at him, suddenly finding the courage to say, “Do you want to stay?  I mean…”

He put a finger on my lips to stop my mumbling and blinked long and slow. “More than you know.”  I smiled and stood to go upstairs, not really knowing what to do or even expect.  I only knew I didn’t want him to leave.  When I stepped into my bedroom, Derek was right behind me.  I stopped for just a second and his arms came around my waist again.  “Please don’t take a bubble bath.  I’m not sure I could restrain myself.” 

“What?”  I tried to move away so I could see his face, but his grip on me was tighter as we moved across the room to my bed.

“Earlier—you said you were going to take a bubble bath.  Please don’t.  I’m having a hard enough time as it is.”

I smiled and looked back at him over my shoulder.  “Really?”

“God, yes!  Are you blind woman?”  I let out a little laugh, then sobered.

“Tell me.”  My words were quiet.

“Tell you what?”  Derek breathed in the scent of my hair, then gently moved it off my shoulder to one side.  I could feel his lips moving on the side of my neck as he spoke.  “That you’re sexy as hell?” 
Kiss.
  “That I can’t just be your friend?” 
Kiss.
  “That your prick of an ex-husband better stay away?” 
Kiss.
“That it’s taking a lot of restraint not to completely devour you?” 
Kiss.

“Yeah, that.”  I turned in his arms, placed my hands on his cheeks and kissed his handsome bearded face.  “Stay.  Stay with me tonight.  I want to feel someone next to me again.  I want to feel
you
next to me.”  I was reduced to begging.

“I don’t think I could leave now even if you
tried
to kick me out.  But I won’t push you, Claire.  You tell me what you need—what you want.”

“Okay.”  I stared at his full lips, red from our kiss. 

Derek leaned in close to my lips and said, “You and I—we understand each other.  I can feel it.  I need what you need.”  He was so right.  I leaned the rest of the way, closing the gap between us and boldly licked across his slightly open mouth.  He let out a groan, picked me up at the waist and stumbled to my bed before first tossing me on it, then joining me.  As soon as he was at my side, I began showering his mouth and face with gentle kisses.  We tangled arms and legs around each other and continued to make-out for a long time.  It felt so surreal, so natural.  I’d always been afraid I would feel guilty about being with another man after Jake, but I didn’t.  I felt just the opposite.  It was comfortable, safe and loving.  Derek was a complete gentleman, only letting his hands rest on my barely exposed lower back as he kissed me. 

When we came up for a breath, Derek laid back, pulled me close and gently guided my head onto his chest. “Sleep, beautiful.  We have a big day tomorrow.”

“Did I say ‘yes’ to going with you?  I can’t remember.”  I peaked up at his face to see his reaction.  We both knew I would go, but I liked messing with his head a little. 

“Um, you’re going.”  His eyebrows were raised and he was ready to stand his ground. 

I smiled and pushed against his chest to move away. “I need to change clothes and brush my teeth.  I have an extra toothbrush if you’d like to use it.”

“Sure.”  We both brushed our teeth, then I slipped into the closet and found my pajamas.  I hadn’t thought about pajama choices in twenty years, but what I owned and what I was wearing were likely to be an issue.  It was a pair of off-white silk pajama shorts and a matching silk spaghetti-strapped top.  Pretty much all of my pajamas were like that.

When I walked out of the bathroom, Derek groaned at my outfit.  “Really? 
That
is what you sleep in?”

“Usually, although, since
he
left, sometimes I sleep in nothing.” I whispered the last part.

Derek ran a hand down his face.  “Damn woman, how am I supposed to be on my best behavior when you look like that?”

“I never asked that of you.”  I quietly mumbled. 

“No, but it was understood.”

I walked around to the opposite side of the bed and climbed in.  Derek was fully clothed and on top of the covers.  I scrunched down under the quilt and blanket and said, “Just get comfortable.  If you are staying with me tonight, just shed those clothes and sleep in your undies.  I’ll be on my best behavior…promise.”  I made a show of crossing my heart.  Truthfully, I was challenging myself more than him.

“Claire.  YOU. ARE. KILLING. ME.”  He took off everything except his boxer briefs and crawled under the blankets.  Immediately, Derek roughly scooped me up and held my body against his.  It wasn’t a foreign feeling.  No, we fit perfectly, my back to his front, completely aligned together. 

I breathed deeply and said, “It feels good for someone to hold me.  Thank you for staying.”

“Thank you for letting me.  Feels good to me too, even if my willpower is stretched to capacity.”

“Mine too.”  My words were barely a whisper. 

“I heard that.”  Derek’s arms tightened. 

I laughed then softly said, “It scares the hell out of me.”

“Why?”

“I barely know you, but I want to know
all of you.
  I can get you out of my mind, Derek, and I’m scared you’re going to hurt me.”

“Claire, since my divorce, I’ve dating a total of two girls.  Both only wanted the fame and fortune.  Stop worrying about me.  I’m not like that and I’m not
him.
”

I stayed still for a few minutes, then turned around to see his handsome face. “Kiss me.” 

Derek smiled, gripped my hair in his hands and devoured my mouth. 

Chapter 13

Derek

Claire forgave me.  That was something new.  Abbi had always held such a grudge over every little thing, which was laughable considering she’d had her own agenda for years. 

I was thrilled that Claire agreed to go with me to Temecula and give us a chance to really get to know each other.  I barely held on to the shred of willpower I’d had left as her small, hot little body curled up next to mine.  I hadn’t planned on staying…hell, I hadn’t even planned on wrapping my arms around her as we stood there in her living room.  But she had me…owned me and didn’t even know it.  She was who I’d been missing in my life and it thrilled me
and
scared the holy shit out of me at the same time.  I didn’t want to screw it up.  I wanted to be worthy of being in her life even if it was complicated, especially with her having kids.  But I knew the minute she’d called me after getting my gift that she was going to somehow be mine and it was going to start with testing the waters a bit that night.  Claire’s response to me was more than I ever expected.  She wanted me as much as I wanted her.  Crazy?  Yes, it was crazy the way we were tuned to each other after such a short time.

I hoped that our trip to Temecula would be smooth and that when her kids came back from Texas, my sexy Claire was just the same.  I worried about that, actually.  I didn’t know what it was like to have children, but I knew enough to know that in situations like ours, it could make or break a relationship.  For now, though, I had plans.  First thing in the morning, I was changing our hotel rooms from two rooms to one.  I had a feeling Claire might be okay with the change.  God let’s hope so. 

Chapter 14

Claire

We curled up next to each other all night.  Our passion didn’t progress past the amazingly hot kissing, although I could feel what it was doing to him.  Derek had turned me away from him after a while and held me tight until we both fell asleep.

The morning sun wasn’t what woke me up.  It was the stiff, rock hard erection pressing against my ass.  Knowing it was Derek, made my heart swelled with happiness and my pulse quicken.  I wanted him, not just for his hot body, but at my side, sharing life with me.  But I was scared to hope even if everything in me screamed that I’d found someone who understood me. 

I wiggled a little to see if he was awake.  “Oh, sweet girl, don’t do that.  I need a minute.”

“You’re awake?”

“Have been for a while.  But I couldn’t force myself to get up.  You feel too good.”

“Derek.”  I closed my eyes and pushed back on him just a little.

“Please.  Don’t do that unless you want me to forget that I’m a gentleman.”

God, I wanted Derek.  I was capable of making sound decisions.  Hell, I was almost forty years old.  So, I told him.  “I want you.  I want to feel…”

“I know.  I feel the same way, but not yet.  I don’t want you to have any regrets.  Let’s get up, shower and get going.  Okay?”

As disappointed as I was, Derek was right.  So, I scooted away from him, even as he tried to grip my body in an effort to keep me in bed.  I took a peek back at him as I walked to the bathroom and saw him watching me closely.  Just to be a total shit, I started undressing before I made it all the way to the bathroom by crisscrossing my arms and removing my night shirt.  He groaned as I lifted the silk tank over my head.  He couldn’t see my breasts, only my bare back, but it was enough.

I stopped at the threshold of the door and looked back at his face again.  He was barely hanging on.  I winked at him over my shoulder and stepped into the bathroom as I gripped the waistband of my shorts, but stopped before pushing them down.  I’d never felt so sexy.  Jake had never looked at me the way Derek was right at that moment.  It was intoxicating…erotic even…and I loved it.  “Hell woman, you just might kill me.”

I peeked around the doorjamb and said, “Back at you.” 

“Claire.”  His voice was husky and trembling.

I froze in place.  The way he said my name was so heavy, so full of every kind of emotion all wrapped into my name.  I smiled and watched as he climbed off the bed and stalked toward me.  I waited for him to come to me.  “You can’t expect me to not touch you.  You know that, right?  Not after that hot as hell display you just put on for me.”

“You noticed.”  I turned, stepping in front of him so he could see my completely naked breasts.

“Too much.  I’m not sure I can wait.”  Derek softly brushed his thumb across my left nipple and I gasped and closed my eyes at his tender touch.  I was ready to give everything over to him, but he backed away and said, “Shower, sweet girl.  I’m going to use the guest bath.”  He turned to leave without another word, but the giant erection he had told me he was struggling.

I pouted as stepped into the shower and let the warm water wash over me.  A knock at the door stirred me out of my erotic daydream. “Claire?”

“Yeah?” My voice sounded weird.

“I need to head home and pack.”

“Sure.  Go ahead.  I’ll see you later.”

“Are you okay?” 

I cleared my lustful voice.  “Yes, I just needed a long, hot shower.”

“Something’s wrong.  I can hear it in your voice.”

“I’m good.  Go.”  I forced my voice to sound as normal as possible.  I was a little embarrassed at how much I was turned on by him. 
I missed sex.

“Okay.  I’ll be back in about thirty minutes.”

“I’ll be ready.”

When I climbed out of the shower, toweled off and wrapped my little black robe around me, I realized I only had about ten minutes to get ready.  I feverishly pack a bag and ran through my house to make sure everything was okay.  With only seconds to spare, I sat by the door like I’d been waiting for hours.  He was right on time…thirty minutes exactly.

When he knocked, I already had my hand on the knob.  “Hey.”  His greeting was so calm.

“Hi.”  God he smelled good and looked even better.  He was dressed in jeans and a gray v-neck sweater with a black t-shirt underneath.  His light brown hair had that mussed up look and all I could think about was running my fingers through it while kissing the hell out of him. 
Later. 

I was proud of myself.  I was putting every trepidation aside and actually going out of town to have a little fun with a guy I’d only known a short time. 
Wow!  Sounded a little crazy even in my own head.
  I didn’t care.  The dating scene might have been new to me, but I was determined to try because I’d been alone far too long…well before Jake ever even left.